Going Under for the Third Time
by busymommy
Summary: Jasper is a surf bum trying to escape his past, Bella is a graduate student trying to find her future.  Will a chance meeting during a surf tournament pull them under for the last time?  AH/AU/non-Canon/ rated M for lemons, language, themes
1. Chapter 1: A Place to Call Home

_**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**_

**_This is my first foray into fiction, so please be honest, but kind! _**

**_Thanks to my beta and pre-reader team: nails233, hlnt3mom, cherrypie0192, DrizzleDrop, Lamomo, and WillowDeRosa  
_**

**_COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: All characters are the property of the amazingly awesome Stephenie Meyer. I do not own any of these characters-if I did, a certain sexy Texan would be my own personal cabana boy. _**

**_**author retreats to a quiet corner with her Jameson's, praying for a return to sanity._**

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_**CHAPTER 1**_

_**A Place to Call Home**_

_**JPOV**_

The sun streamed through the cracks in the mini-blinds, warming my face, despite the chill in the room. I muttered; rolling onto my back, pissed that one of the few peaceful nights of sleep I'd had in a long time was being disturbed. Moving with my eyes shut against the sun's persistent rays, I collided with my guitar. I'd forgotten to put it away the night before, or was it morning when I finally crashed? Following the circuit was its own escape, but not without price. Long nights, new cities every weekend, and a continuous round of sun, surf, sand, and parties were my life for the last two years. Not that I was complaining. Now that it was almost over; I could afford to feel nostalgic.

I'd avoided my dad's pleas for two years. He understood at first, accepting my need to drop out of reality and just…be. After what happened in Texas, after what happened with _her_, I'd had to get away from it all — from the places, from the memories. I'm sure my dad and mom thought I would disappear for a few weeks and fall right back into their plans. Their patience ran out in May. I guess the image of Whitlock Oil Holdings couldn't hold up under the societal disapproval of the appearance of the heir apparent on the cover of Surfer magazine. Sure I did the interview, but hell — it was just for fun and I got to play on my board while some idiot on a boat tried to take pictures. The article wasn't even that good! You would've thought I'd committed a capital offense when Peter called me screaming about family obligations. The ride was over. I hadn't touched the money they'd been putting in my account since I left. My tournament winnings more than supported my nomadic lifestyle. But, I was ready for something, anything to change.

Thank goodness I'd convinced my dad to lay off and let me follow the circuit the rest of the season. Once I told him that I was already enrolled at Old Dominion University for the fall, he even stopped griping about the fact that I hadn't been home since I left two years ago. Hell, he didn't even raise a stink when he realized I wasn't going back to Texas A&M. I guess any college sufficed if it meant I was FINALLY going to "grow up." Really, I didn't care where I went to school, as long as there was an ocean close enough to get to everyday, and I wouldn't have to go back to Texas.

Hearing banging in the hall, I scrubbed my hands over my face and opened my eyes. Before I could even check the time on my iPhone, Emmett banged on the door.

"Jazz," Emmett yelled, "get your ass out of bed, dude! It's almost ten. The sun's awastin' and the girls are awaitin'!"

"Give me a minute, damn it!" I yelled back. "Fuck's sake, Em, don't you ever fucking sleep?" I bitched, crawling out of bed, not even bothering to pull my jeans on over my boxer briefs. I walked over to the hotel room door and jerked it open. Turning back into the room, I didn't wait to see if Emmett was coming in.

"Dude, I told you yesterday, the only reason I was coming to town early was to look for an apartment. I got shit to square away before classes start next Monday. Did you decide if you're gonna hang around after the season, or are you heading back home to Coronado?" I asked, as I headed into the bathroom.

"What the hell am I gonna do in Virginia, Jazz? At least in Cali I can keep hitting the waves. It frigging gets cold here in the winter! Why didn't you take that shit into consideration when you caved into Pete's pressure to go back to school?" Emmett yelled over the water from the shower.

I showered quickly and walked back in the room with a towel slung around my hips. As I shoved my dripping hair out of my eyes, I made my way over to where I'd thrown my bag when we got into town the day before.

"Hell, Emmett, you afraid of a little cold, dude? So what if you gotta put a damn skin on to surf. The storms that move in during the fall and winter will make the cold totally worth it." I replied, digging through my duffle bag looking for clean clothes. "Besides, have you looked around? Three fourths of the guys in this town are in the Navy. They are always leaving their ladies alone. Even your dumb ass could get laid here." I joked, throwing my wet towel at his head.

"Now, I got to find someplace to live. Are you coming with me or are you gonna go hunt down some poor unsuspecting beach bunny to use and abuse for the next five days?" I asked, as I grabbed my keys off the dresser and shoved my wallet in my back pocket.

"Yeah, come on. Let's go so we can get back and hit the boardwalk and find some fun for the night. What was the name of that bar we hung out in last year when we were here? Dirty Dick's or something? I'd like to head there again. Right on the beach and full of choice, tan honeys. We can get something to eat, get our drink on, and find some company," Emmett answered with a wink, bouncing out of the chair he had been lounging in.

I sighed inwardly. Emmett was a great guy, but damn, I had no idea where the hell he got all of his energy from. Nothing ever seemed to slow him down or wear him out. He wouldn't even be on the circuit if I hadn't talked him into coming with me, yet he loved it a hell of a lot more than I did. Emmett liked getting his face in the mags and his name in the news. He ate that shit up. The fact that he was apparently easy on the eyes didn't hurt him any.

Emmett was pushing 6'5"— damn tall for a surfer — and probably close to 220 lbs. He didn't like to work out, but he was always active. He loved running on the beach most of all, probably because it attracted a lot of female attention. His mop of dark, curly hair and his, as one chick described them, "liquid blue eyes," never hurt him when out cruising the bars or the beaches. He never tried to break their hearts. I mean, hell, I'll give the man his props. Emmett always made it clear he was in this shit for the short term - 4 to 5 days in town at the most, but the chicks always fell for him anyway.

As we headed out the hotel, Emmett's cell phone went off. Pulling it out and flipping it open without looking, he answered, "You got me, what do you want to do to me?"

I just shook my head and shoved my Ray-Bans on against the beaming rays as I headed across the parking lot toward my truck. I could see my baby still firmly strapped down in the back and breathed a sigh of relief. My two most prized possessions were Annabelle and Miss Piggy. Annabelle had been a gift from my parents for my tenth birthday, a Southern Resonator with mother-of-pearl inlay. When I left Galveston, she was one of the few things I didn't throw into storage. Miss Piggy, on the other hand, was bought with the prize money from the second tournament I won. She was a Harley-Davidson Softail, the color of fine wine and shiny chrome, without all that shit some bikers throw on to fuck up a perfectly good motorcycle. I had a small set of saddlebags for long trips and that was it. She was streamlined, just like I'd been trying to make my life. I double-checked the tie downs and then climbed into the cab to wait for Emmett.

A few minutes later, the passenger door was yanked open and Emmett's booming voice filled the cab. "Yeah, yeah, I got it. Marriot at Independence. Uh huh. Right. Room 410. Sure, let me talk to Jazz and check our plans. No, not too long, maybe 15 minutes or so. K, I'll see you in a few. Yeah, can't wait either. Later, dude."

I looked at Emmett over the top of my shades, waiting for him to fill me in.

"Dude, check this shit out! Edward is here in Virginia Beach! He got offered a position in the English Lit department at ODU. Esme and Carlisle told him we were here for the tournament, that's why he called. I told him you were looking for a place to live and he mentioned a rental house listing he had seen on campus. It's for a place down here at the beach. He didn't know if we might be interested in going in together and splitting the rent, but I told him I would mention it. Whatya think? A house would be a hell of a lot better than a small-ass apartment, not to mention, no close neighbors to bitch when the music is a little too loud. C'mon, dude, let's do this!"

Luckily, after almost three years of friendship, I'd gotten used to Emmett's babbling. I crooked my eyebrow and smirked while I waited for him to draw a breath. When he did, I raised my hand, signaling for him to wait a minute.

"What is this "we" and "us" shit? I thought it was "frigging cold" in Virginia," I air quoted and continued, "Changed your mind on the walk from the room to the car? Did I miss a hottie in the parking lot that you managed to schmooze a phone number out of while talking to your cousin?"

Emmett slugged my shoulder and said, "Nah, dude, but hell if you and Edward are both going to be here, I'd have no one to hang with at home. I got enough money saved to keep me going til next season. Shit, I might even try to find a job or something. Look, let's just go meet up with Edward and see what he's got for us. We can decide after we talk to him."

I laughed to myself. Emmett and Edward may be cousins, but their bond is much closer, having both been raised by Edward's parents after Emmett's died in a car accident when he was 8 years old. Although Carlisle and Esme Cullen had adopted him, Emmett kept his own last name, McCarty, to honor his parents and carry on the family name. Of course, with Emmett's "extracurricular" activities, I was surprised there wasn't a little McCarty floating around out there somewhere.

On the way to the interstate, I pulled into a convenience store. If I didn't get some coffee, and fast, I wasn't going to be able to think clearly when Emmett and I met up with Edward. Not being on top of my game around the cousins could definitely be hazardous to my health, as I'd found out all too often over the years. A large coffee and a pack of smokes later, we were back on the road.

As I pulled into the hotel lot and found a place to park, Emmett dialed Edward to let him know we were on our way up. I strolled through the lobby, slightly amused by the looks Emmett and I drew when we were together. Where Emmett was the epitome of adorable, I just came off as forbidding. It wasn't as if I tried to look intimidating, but my recklessness must have given off the aura of danger.

I strolled up to the reception desk, shoving my shades up off my eyes, pushing the unruly mop of hair out of my face. As the receptionist looked up, a bemused expression on her face, and attempted to compose herself before talking to me, I sighed and tried to see what women saw when they looked at me. I had shaggy, sun-streaked blonde hair in desperate need of a haircut that I was too lazy to get, green eyes with flecks of yellow in them and surrounded by crinkles from years of squinting in the Texas sun, not very tall - barely making 5'10", and maybe a 170 lbs. I wasn't muscular like Emmett, but years of working with horses and on oil rigs had made me strong, not to mention the years of surfing. All in all, I guessed it wasn't a bad combination, since I also never failed to attract my fair share of attention from women when we went out. Unlike Emmett, though, I just wasn't interested. I hadn't lived like a monk, but I also didn't feel a need to bang every woman that came on to me. When that itch needed to be scratched, I found women that clearly understood that one night was all they were getting. Typically, these women weren't looking for more than I was offering, so there were never any regrets.

"Hello, m-m-may I help you?" the young clerk stammered as I gave her a half-hearted smile.

"Yes, darlin'," I said, "We have a friend in room 420 that we are here to visit, Edward Cullen?" I probably laid the Southern charm on a little thick, but hell it was worth it to see the flush that crept up the mousy receptionist's cheeks. I noticed her name was Angela from the little nameplate she wore on her uniform.

"Uhm, yes, uhm, Mr. Cullen, I will ring his room," she said, a wistful look in her eyes.

Oh yeah, I'd seen that look. Edward was a bronze god in his own right and women also flocked to him. Like his cousin, Edward never seemed lacking for female companionship at any given point in time either. If it weren't for the fact that the cousins were nowhere near being insensitive jerks, I might have suggested they start notching the headboards of their beds. Well, that and the fact that they would have ran out of wood a long time ago.

"Mr. Cullen, this is Angela at reception." Her hands tightened on the receiver as she sighed into the phone, "I wanted to let you know your guests have arrived. Of course, sir, I will send them right up."

I was already stepping away to the elevator before she had even re-cradled the phone.

"Thanks, darlin'," I chuckled, stepping into the open elevator and the doors closed Emmett and me off from the lobby.

As he reached over to push the button for the fourth floor, Emmett let out a laugh.

"What?"

"Dude, you don't even try and these women are eating out of your hand. I'd hate to see what'd happen if you actually put forth some effort!"

"Don't worry, Em, your slut status on the tour is completely safe. I have no desire to overthrow your title," I replied, slapping him on the back. "Besides, little Miss Angela has apparently already been exposed to your cousin's charms. She all but came at the mention of his name."

"Yeah, Edward does have that effect on women - Wait a minute, I am not a slut! It is not my fault that those women throw themselves at my feet!"

"Maybe not, Em, but it sure as shit does not mean you have to sweep them off of theirs, either. I will make you a bet. I bet you cannot go out tonight without picking up some woman and taking her back to the hotel. If I win, I get your copy of Call of Duty 4 to hold hostage for one week."

"And what's in it for me, Jazz? Oh, I know - I get that shitty Tom Waits CD you play all the time. It will be worth one night of blue balls to not have to listen to that crap for a week!"

"Hey, bro, don't be hating on my music! I'm not worried. You can't last twenty minutes without picking up some chick and having your tongue down her throat. My CD is totally safe."

"Oh, it is on like Donkey Kong, and I am so gonna get to listen to some music with a beat to it for a week!"

We stepped off the elevator and bantered back and forth as we walked down the hall toward Edward's room. Before Emmett could even knock, Edward had pulled open the door.

"Damn, could you guys be any frigging louder? Thank God it's the middle of the morning, or someone would be calling management on you!"

The minute Em saw his cousin; he pulled him into a massive hug that would have crushed a weaker man. As it was, I saw Edward wince slightly at Emmett's exuberance.

I laughed while Edward tried to extricate himself from Emmett's arms and said, "Edward, with the look I just saw on the receptionist's face at the mention of your name, I am not too worried about getting thrown out!"

Emmett stepped back and finally greeted his cousin. "Edward, dude, I can't believe it's been three months since the last time I saw you! How the hell have you been? How long are you here for? How the hell did you land a teaching position at ODU? Is it long term? When was the last time you saw Uncle Carlisle and Aunt Esme? How are they?"

Edward smiled, held up his hand, and laughed out a reply. "Emmett! Breathe! Let me see if I can answer these questions before the next interrogation starts. I'm great, the position is for the fall term, the professor that was supposed to be teaching the class is on emergency maternity leave, I saw my parents two week ago, and they are doing great. Did I get them all?" he queried, looking to me for confirmation.

I nodded my head and waited for Emmett to go for Round Two of the Inquisition. As usual, he didn't disappoint me.

"Tell us about the house. Have you seen it yet? Where is it? Can we go see it now? Is there enough room for all of us? How much is it? Am I really going to have to get a fucking job? When do you start classes? Are you gonna come see us surf this weekend? What…?"

"EMMETT!" Edward and I shouted together in order to be heard over his verbal diarrhea.

"Damn, cuz; shut the hell up for a minute so I can think! I can't answer shit if you won't be quiet long enough for me to talk!"

Emmett looked sheepish and fell into the lounge chair near the window. Flipping my keys around my finger, I sat down at the desk and waited for Edward to speak.

"The house. I talked to the rental agent this morning. It is a block from the oceanfront. The owners are military and are being transferred to Japan for a couple of years. They're not sure what they want to do with the house yet, so are renting it in the meantime. It is two story, four bedrooms, so yeah, plenty of room. The rent is steep, $2400 a month, but if we like it and decide to rent it, it would be no more than each of us getting an apartment on our own and a damn sight nicer than the one bedroom apartment we would get for the price. The agent is meeting me at noon to check it out. I've got the address and directions, and I am supposed to meet her there. So, you guys interested?"

I'd been nodding my head while Edward was talking. It did sound like a good idea and it would be cool to have friends to hang out with in a new city. If nothing else, sharing a house forced me to be social and not hole up by myself, like I'd done back in Galveston.

Before Emmett could get going again with Twenty Questions, I cleared my throat and stood up.

"Well, it's a quarter after 11 now. Maybe we should head out and look at the house?" I turned toward Edward, "I have the truck, and Emmett's Jeep is still at the hotel. We can all squeeze into the cab of the truck if you don't have a car."

"No, Jazz, that's cool. I have my car. I drove down from my parents' house yesterday morning to meet with the dean of my department. I'm guessing you guys are staying near the oceanfront, right? Might as well take the truck and my car, that way you guys don't have to head back here and then turn around and drive right back down again."

Just then, there was a crisp knock on the door, and a woman's voice sung out, "Housekeeping!"

I looked around the immaculate room, hell even the bed was already made, and thought Housekeeping probably loved cleaning up after Edward. Not a thing was out of place. Oh us all living together could get interesting. Emmett was the biggest slob I'd ever met, and while I'm no neat freak, a little clutter never bothered me. If this was gonna work, we were going to need some serious ground rules.

As Edward opened the door so we could head out and Housekeeping could come in, a tiny ball of flying female launched herself at him from the hallway. Emmett and I were both frozen in place, not knowing whether we should save Edward, or wait for the rest of the show. We quickly got our answer when Edward wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, placing a kiss on her smiling mouth.

Emmett coughed loudly. When Edward didn't end his tonsil hockey session, he coughed again, louder.

"Hell, cuz, are you sure you want to find some place to rent? With Housekeeping service like that, why leave the hotel?"

The little pixie in Edward's arms started to giggle. Edward stepped back, and dropping his arm around her shoulder, proceeded to introduce her.

Emmett, Jazz, this is my girlfriend Alice. Alice, the big oaf is my cousin Emmett that you've heard all about, and the brooding cowboy is his best friend, Jasper."

We all greeted each other and then Edward asked Alice, "What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming until the weekend? We were just heading out to look at a house to rent."

"I wasn't supposed to come down until Saturday morning, but then something came up in this area and Esme sent me down to take care of it," Alice chirped, bouncing on her toes the whole time. "She figured you'd rather be surprised be me than her showing up in town. I am meeting the client here in the coffee shop in about twenty minutes, so I thought I'd pop up and see you first. Are you surprised?"

"Of course I am, and pleasantly so! We can ride down in the elevator with you. Do you have to head back to Richmond or are you staying through?"

Edward and Alice moved out the door and Emmett and I followed them to the elevator. Emmett still looked confused as hell.

Once we got to the lobby, Edward kissed Alice goodbye and told her to call after she finished with the client. As we headed into the parking lot, Emmett threw his arm around his cousin's shoulder and did a poor imitation of Ricky Ricardo, "Eddie, you got some 'splaining to do!"

Edward rolled his eyes and pushed Emmett's arm off his shoulder. "We'll go to lunch after we see the house and I'll tell you all about Alice. Are you riding with me or with Jazz?" he asked, as he stopped next to a new silver Volvo and popped the locks.

"Depends. Can I play with the radio? Between Jazz's Waits and NPR, my brain will be fried. I need to hear some tunes."

Edward rolled his eyes at his cousin and reluctantly agreed, "Okay, but no damn rap. I hate that shit. I can tolerate almost anything else."

Edward gave me the address and the directions in case we got separated. I climbed into my truck and followed him out of the parking lot and back onto the interstate. Fifteen minutes later, after a short trip down a tree covered drive, we stood in front of what could be loosely described as a beach cottage. The two storied house faced the water, with only a stretch of high dunes separating it from the beach. We could hear the ocean behind them and the traffic was muffled by the stand of trees that separated the back of the house from the main road. The house was on pylons, like many around here, to deal with surf issues from the hurricanes and nor'easters that were common to the area. Edward and I looked at each other incredulously. There had to be a catch to the house renting so cheap.

We followed the agent through the house, checking out the space. The kitchen was fit for a gourmet chef. What the hell three men whose cooking skills leaned toward grills and spaghettios were gonna do in there I had no fucking idea. The wide open floor plan offered all kinds of possibilities. There was no defined living room or dining room. There was a wall of windows that looked out over the water, with a huge gas fireplace breaking up the expanse. There were four bedrooms, each with its own bath, plus a half bath off the great room and a shower by the steps leading up from the outside. I wasn't sure how Edward and Emmett felt, but I knew I wanted to live in this house. I just needed to know what the catch was.

When we all gathered back in the living area, Edward took the lead in the conversation with the agent.

"I don't know about the other guys, but I'm definitely interested in the house. I'm curious though, why are the owners renting it so cheap?" he asked, voicing my same concerns.

Siobhan, the agent, looked at the information in her folder and answered, "As I told you on the phone, the owners are military that have been transferred out of the area for two years. They're not sure yet whether or not they're keeping the house, and are looking for a long term tenant. Frequently, in this area, beachfront homes rent for two different prices, depending on the season. In the summer, houses were often rented on a week to week basis, with vacationing families coming in for the tourist season. While it is lucrative, it is not always a guarantee. Then, owners try to find a tenant that will rent the house through the entire winter. Because the owners in this case will be out of the country, they're more interested in finding a long term tenant, preferably until the end of the summer, 2 years from now. This guarantees them the rental income and affords them the time they need to make their decisions."

I spoke up, "Well, I'm in and if it's going to require a two year lease, then so be it. Emmett, Edward? What do you guys think?"

"I feel I must tell you, I have another showing scheduled for this afternoon, as well. As you can see, the house is in move in condition and the owners are hoping to have it occupied by the first of the month."

I turned to look at Edward and we both looked at Emmett. He was the only loose end that needed to be tied off. Emmett put his hand in his jeans pockets, turned in a small circle, looking around. He looked back at me and Edward and smiled.

"Oh, yeah, guys, we need to do this." He looked at Siobhan, "Where do we sign?"

Siobhan pulled out three applications and we filled them out right there. Edward wrote a check for the security deposit and an hour later, we sat at lunch, waiting to hear that the credit check was complete and we could pick up the keys.

"I know we need to talk about furniture and shit like that, but dude, you need to fill us in on the Alice situation." Emmett said, looking pointedly at his cousin, while snatching a few fries off my plate. I shoved his hand away and moved my plate further away from his.

"Hey, man, it's not as big a deal as you think it is. She was working all spring and summer for Mom at the office. I met her one day when I went in to see Mom, and asked her out to lunch. We hit it off and have been dating since the end of May. It'll be a little difficult, with her up near D.C. and me down here, but it'll work out if it's supposed to. Right?"

Just then, Edward's phone chirped and I turned to Emmett while Edward took the call.

"Dude, I claim the bedroom that looks out at the water."

"Wait a minute, how the hell is that fair? We should, like draw straws or something."

"No way man. You weren't even planning on staying. Look, it's not even the biggest room. I like the view, it's peaceful. It will make studying easier."

Emmett huffed for a minute, and then agreed. Edward walked back to the table.

"That was the agent. Want to go sign the lease, get the keys, and figure out how we're going to furnish our new home?" Edward grinned. This was gonna be a fun couple of years, I just knew it.

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****Busymommy slams another shot of Jameson's and peeks around the corner-**

**Oh good, you are still here! Do you love it or hate it? How do you think the "Man cottage" needs to be decorated?**

**Push the little button below and let me know what you think! **


	2. Chapter 2: Come On Up To the House

**Love and kisses and bewb gropes to my amazing beta/pre-reader team: LaMomo, Willow, cherrypie0192, and hln3twimom. They keep me on track and make sure I make sense. Any errors are mine, cause I don't know when to leave well enough alone. **

**Thank you, everyone, for giving me such a warm welcome to FF! I am sorry I took so long posting this. I had taken my children to Orlando for vacation and I am also in the middle of a college class that requires a huge (25-30 page) research project. Classes finish in a few weeks and I will be off until after the first of the year. I am hoping to get several chapters in the can so I am working ahead of the bell curve and ya'll won't have to wait as long in between updates.**

**This chapter was created with a large infusion of Jameson's and many long nights. It was also originally double the size, but my amazing beta helped me trim it into two manageable chunks. **

**Enough from me, more notes to follow at the end.**

**As always, the characters are Stephenie Meyer's. I just took them to the beach.**

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**Chapter 2**

**Come on Up to the House**

As we headed out of the little oceanfront restaurant, Edward's phone chirped again. He looked at the caller I.D. and with a wistful smile, he answered, "Hey babe, all done with your meeting?"

Emmett and I stepped away to afford Edward a little bit of privacy while he talked to Alice. Sliding my sunglasses on and pushing my hair back, I leaned against a scrub pine near the truck. I glanced around, taking in the scenery. While this was a beach and tourist area, it didn't have the same aura that so many of the other stops on the circuit did. The California beaches were full of California girls. Katy Perry and David Lee Roth had nailed that shit in their songs. All the girls were blonde, tall and tan. Most of them were as fake as their tits, too. Florida beaches weren't much better. Down in Galveston, the oil tycoons had bought all the good beach property, building behemoth, multi-million dollar beach houses that they used to smooze corporate executives and politicians. The Outer Banks of North Carolina were a non-stop party. It seemed like all the college kids went there to rent houses and drink, away from the watchful eyes of their parents. Ironically enough, their parents typically paid for the rentals to keep their obnoxious frat boys and sorority girls from barfing in the pool at home all summer long.

Virginia Beach was different. There were still bars and college kids, but most of the tourists were families. The oceanfront wasn't that far from Williamsburg, an area loaded with everything from historical landmarks to amusements parks - attractions to meet any family's interest. It was also a lot cheaper than taking a family to Orlando to see the overpriced Mouse. The area just seemed friendly. Growing up in Texas, I'd lived with my fair share of "Southern hospitality", but in my parents' circle, that hospitality was thinly veiled with sarcasm and one-up-manship. There, people were only friendly because it would benefit them in the long run. Here in Virginia, people were just…nice.

Emmett interrupted my inner musings with his inimitable affability. "She's cute! You gonna stare at her like she's an appetizer or you gonna go talk to her?"

I was startled by his words and realized then that it probably did appear as if I was eye-fucking someone. I looked around to see who Emmett was referring to. Directly in front of me was a small park with a couple of benches and some trees. Lying on a blanket underneath one of the trees was a petite brunette. The girl was completely engrossed in the book in front of her and obviously listening to an iPod, her head bobbing and swaying to the rhythms that filled her ears. Thankfully, she had not seen me inadvertently staring at her. As I watched, she began tugging on a strand of hair near her face, all the while, gnawing on her bottom lip as if it were her only source of sustenance. She brought her finger to her full, ripe lips and I saw her little pink tongue dart out to lick her finger, before she turned the page, never lifting her eyes away from the book.

As the clouds shifted and the sun streamed down on her, I realized her hair was more than just brown - it was a warm coffee color and the sun glinted off of deep auburn highlights, obviously burnished in by nature's grace, not by the artistry of a skilled stylist. Just as a light breeze teased the hair away from her heart-shaped face, my view was obstructed by Emmett's meat hooks waving in my face.

"Earth to Jas! Dude, are you following up on that shit or are we going?"

I mentally shook myself and reluctantly turned away. She was pretty, but we had stuff to do and I didn't have time for a beach fling.

"Nah, let's get going. I don't know about you, but I'd like to get as settled as possible before Thursday, when the tournament starts. That gives us two and a half days to knock this shit out."

I headed over to where Edward was leaning against his car, just hanging up his phone.

"So, anyone up for a road trip?" he asked, as we walked over. "When Alice called her with a report on the meeting, she told Mom we were looking at a house to rent. Mom called me while Alice and I were on the phone and she offered us our pick of the leftover furniture from the home show they did back in the spring. She was going to put it up for auction, but thought we might like to go through it first. The only catch is we have to go retrieve it ourselves."

"NO SHIT? That friggin' rocks! Aunt Esme has the best taste! When do we leave?"

"Slow down, Emmett!" Edward spoke firmly, "We still need to sign the final lease and pick up the keys before we do anything else. I'd like to go back to the house, take some measurements, and get a good idea of what we are going to need before we make the drive. We also have to make arrangements for a truck to bring back anything we pick from the warehouse. I don't think Jazz's truck is big enough for all of it."

"Edward, are you sure this won't be an imposition?" I asked. "Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate the offer, but I've only met your parents one time and that was a year ago."

"No, not at all, Jas," he answered, "Mom absolutely loved you and talked about what a 'sweet boy' you were after last year's tournament."

"AHAHAHAHAHA!" Emmett burst out laughing, doubling over and holding his sides, "Damn Jas, you got Aunt Esme snowed! 'Sweet boy' my ass! Good thing she doesn't know the stories I know," he snorted, wiping tears from his eyes as he threw an arm around my shoulder.

"Shut the hell up, Emmett!" I said, shoving him off me and slugging him in the arm, "I think you're confusing your reputation with mine."

"Yeah, really," Edward chimed in, "if she knew everything about you, she'd force you to get married to inherit that trust fund. Matter of fact, I may just suggest it to her when we get to the house!"

"Aw, shit! C'mon Edward, that ain't cool! I'm not looking at settling down. There are still way too many women that are wanting a piece of McCarty to take me off the market permanently."

Edward and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. Living with Emmett's ego would never be dull. I looked at my phone to check the time and knew we needed to get motivated and quick.

"All right, seriously, Edward, what's the game plan?" I asked.

"Well, I was thinking we'd check you guys out of the hotel and move your stuff to the house, then head up to Mom and Dad's. We can stay overnight, head to the warehouse first thing in the morning to go scavenging for furniture, load it all up and head back down here. I can call and make arrangements for a U-Haul while we're on the road, if that works for you guys."

Looking from me to Emmett, he asked, "When does the tournament start?"

"We have to check in with the organizers on Wednesday, anytime between noon and eight pm, and we have to be on the sand and ready to surf by seven am Thursday morning," I answered, as Emmett nodded in agreement.

"Well, then, let's get moving," Edward urged, climbing in the car. "Follow me to the office so we can get on the road."

Emmett got in with Edward, and I pulled myself up into the truck to follow them. I turned up the volume on the radio and suddenly remembered my bet with Emmett. I was definitely going to have to modify that shit if we weren't going out tonight. His sneaky ass would say he won, even though we weren't going out, just because he didn't pick up some entertainment.

_It's such a sad old feeling  
the fields are soft and green  
it's memories that I'm stealing  
but you're innocent when you dream_

As the lyrics drifted out of the speakers, my mind inadvertently wandered back to the brunette at the park. She was pretty, certainly not gorgeous, but something about her pricked at the back of my mind. Maybe I should've talked to her. I shook my head. I didn't need the distraction right now. Even after two years of trying to move on, my head was still stuck on Texas and my heart was still torn. Meander was wrong; time does not heal all wounds.

-xxxxxxxxxx-

With the lease signed and keys in hand, the three of us headed to the hotel to grab our stuff. Within thirty minutes, our rooms had been cleared, our gear stowed, and we were heading out the door to drive to Esme and Carlisle's home in Richmond. After a brief discussion, we opted to take Emmett's Jeep, since Edward was going to drive the rental truck back.

While Edward was on his phone working out the details with U-Haul, I decided to set Emmett straight about the bet.

"Just so you know, the bet's postponed until the first time we go out, dude," I told him, and then added, "so you can stop internally gloating thinking you already won."

"Aw c'mon! You said I couldn't go without picking up a woman tonight. You can't change the terms now!" Emmett bitched, knowing I had figured out his scheme.

"The hell I can't! You know damn right and well, we won't be going out tonight, and even on the off chance we did, you sure as hell wouldn't dare to bring one of the bimbos you're so fond of back to your aunt's. The bet is postponed until Thursday night and that is final."

"Why Thursday? We'll be back at the beach by late afternoon tomorrow."

"What of it? We got a shit ton to do before Thursday morning, and I'm not doing double work while you play. Besides, when you fail — and you will fail — don't you want to have your playroom ready for your new toy?"

I chuckled as Emmett slouched against his door pouting.

"Well, what if we get done early on Wednesday? We could still go out then, right?"

I sighed, completely exasperated. "Dude, how the hell are you gonna function to surf with a hangover? Are you just planning to blow off first round eliminations? Hell, you need to frigging win if you don't want to get a job before next spring. Just keep it in your pants, McCarty. The girls will still be there, in abundance. They always are."

Edward closed his phone and leaned forward.

"The truck is reserved for pick-up at eight tomorrow morning. I figured we could go ahead and grab it before we headed to the warehouse. Mom said she'd have a couple of her guys help us load the truck to make sure nothing shifts on the drive back. I remember seeing the decorator sheets for one of the houses they did, and there was some really nice room set-ups. They did houses at three different home shows this past spring, so there's plenty to choose from."

"I know Esme won't let me pay her for anything I pick out," I said, turning in my seat to face Edward, "do you think that she and Carlisle will at least let me take them out to dinner tonight to thank them? They are really going out of their way for someone they barely know and I want to do something to show my appreciation."

"Probably not, if you put it like that." Edward laughed. "Just offer to take them out to dinner because they have three extra unexpected mouths to feed tonight. Even though we all know it's a bullshit excuse, she'll let that slide faster than accepting a dinner invite as repayment for something she wants to do anyway."

"Fair enough. You know the area and what your parents like, so you pick the place. Keep in mind; we all only have jeans to wear with us, so that may limit your choices."

"That won't be a problem, Jas. I still have clothes at Mom and Dad's and so does Emmett. You and I are close enough in size; I can lend you something nicer to wear. I know just the place." Edward paused, and then added, "Alice was heading back up when I talked to her on the phone and we were planning on spending some time together tonight. Do you mind including her in the invitation?"

"Not at all! Emmett and I might as well get to know her; since I have a funny feeling she'll be spending a lot of time at the house. Right?"

"Yeah," Emmett interjected, "I'm thinking this is more than just causal dating going on here. I saw that goofy ass look on your face when she called earlier."

Edward ducked his head sheepishly, "That obvious, huh? Hell, guys, I don't know. I'm just going with it right now and I guess I'll see where it leads."

"I can tell you right where that shit is leading," Emmett said, breaking into an off-key version of 'Goin' To The Chapel.'

Edward slapped him in the back of his head and we all burst out laughing. We spent the rest of the trip talking about the house. The rental agency had said they would give us until Wednesday to switch over the utilities. We decided against a house phone; we all had cells. Since Edward had been renting previously, it was decided that all the utilities would be in his name to avoid a bunch of security deposits, with Emmett and I splitting the bills with him. We'd already paid the rent for the rest of August and September when we picked up the keys.

"One of us needs to learn how to cook to make use of that kitchen," I mused. "It'd be worth the effort; everything is so state of the art."

"Hell, I think we should just get a big ass grill and call it a day. Did you get a good look at the size of that deck? I could spend all my time out there with a beer and die a happy man," Emmett replied.

"A beer? More like a case!" Edward joked.

"Hey, twenty-four hours in a day, twenty-four beers in a case. This is a coincidence I can live with." Emmett answered, laughing loudly.

As we pulled in the driveway at Edward's parents, Emmett finished describing his version of the ideal grill for the deck. I was fairly certain there'd be a trip to Home Depot in our near future to pick it up.

Esme flew out the front door as we got out of the Jeep, her dark auburn hair flying behind her. The smile on her lips reached to her eyes, lighting up her whole face. Edward had inherited her coloring, with the only influence from Carlisle being the slightly lighter shading in Edward's. Not more than 5'4", she had to stand on her tiptoes to give Edward a kiss on the cheek. He leaned down to make it easier for her to reach, then gave her a hug. The affection between them was easy to see. Esme extended that same warmth to me and Emmett, giving us both hugs. Emmett scooped her up and swung her in a circle, as she laughingly demanded he put her down.

"I'm so glad you boys are here!" she exclaimed. "Carlisle should be home shortly. Mondays are usually quiet at the hospital and when I talked to him at lunchtime, he said he expected to be home on time."

We followed her into the house and Edward told her about my plans for dinner. After a very light protest, she agreed to let me take everyone out. Leading us up the large spiral staircase, she showed me to the room I'd be staying in.

"I hope you'll be comfortable in here, Jasper," she said, in her soft melodic voice, "Edward and Emmett will be staying in their old rooms, of course, but I thought you might like your own space. Once you get settled, why don't you meet us all down in the kitchen for a light snack and a drink before we head out for dinner?"

I told her I'd be down shortly, and Esme closed the door behind her as she left the room. I dropped my duffle bag on the floor and looked around. If the décor I'd seen throughout the house and in this room were any indications of what we'd be choosing from at the warehouse, I was even more grateful that Esme was being so generous. Her taste was impeccably understated. Even here, in a guest bedroom, a sense of home and comfort shone through. The soft pine furniture was neutral and did nothing to distract from the cream and blue linens and draperies. Even though there were little touches of Esme's personality everywhere, the room didn't come across as feminine at all. I planned to ask Esme for some decorating tips to go with anything I decided on. After 2 years of living in hotels, I was ready to create a space of my own — a place where I could maybe find what I had lost of myself in Galveston.

-xxxxxxxxxx-

Edward dropped off a pair of khaki pants and a green polo shirt before he headed downstairs. I got changed and slid my feet back into the Topsiders I'd worn up from Virginia Beach. I left the bedroom and followed the sounds of laughter I heard coming from another part of the house. I found Esme, Emmett, and Edward in the kitchen, a plate of cheese and fruit and a basket of crackers on the breakfast bar in front of them.

Esme was leaning against the counter holding her sides, while Emmett wiped tears of laughter away from his eyes. Edward was shaking with quiet laughter, too. I looked at Emmett and quirked my eyebrow, sincerely hoping I wasn't the butt of whatever joke had everyone in stitches.

"Oh my gosh, Emmett," Esme gasped between giggles, "you're going to be the death of me! I can't believe you actually painted his surfboard neon pink!"

I added my laughter to everyone else's. That was probably one of the funniest pranks Emmett had ever pulled on another guy on the circuit. Paul was a complete ass that hailed from Hawaii. He considered himself God's gift to women and surfing, and actually believed all the hype that was published about him. At a competition in California earlier this year, Paul had cut off Emmett in rotation and grabbed his wave. While not technically a violation, the shit was just against fucking common courtesy. Emmett still managed to get his run in under the gun, but it was close and not as tight as it would have been. Later that night, while Paul was in a bar with his entourage of puerile fans and friends, Emmett and I skanked his board from the back of his truck. We hit up a local Wal-Mart for paint, and right there in the parking lot we painted the board neon pink with lavender lettering that read "I like a Big Johnson" in memory of some old surf shirts we'd seen a few months before. Then, on the back, we painted Paul's name. We snuck out to the tournament site and planted the board in the sand, right next to the judge's table. There it stood, in all its glory, when everyone showed up the next morning. Nobody ever figured out that Emmett and I had anything to do with it, but everyone had a hell of a laugh at Paul's expense.

Emmett and I regaled Esme and Edward with a few other stories and we were all still laughing when Carlisle walked in a half hour later. He greeted his son and nephew with a hug and extended his hand to me. Grasping it firmly, I said, "Thank you so much, Carlisle, for allowing me to stay in your home. I really appreciate all that you and Esme are doing for us."

Carlisle reached over and patted my shoulder. "Think nothing of it! As a friend of the boys, you're always welcome in our home. As for the help with the furniture, that's all Esme's doing. The design firm is her baby and I stay out of it completely. She's definitely doing it right, though, if my yearly tax statements are anything to go by."

Turning to his wife, he asked, "So, do I have time for a quick shower before dinner?"

Esme glanced at me, and then back to Carlisle. "Well, that's up to Jasper. He wanted to take us all out to dinner tonight. He felt that feeding him, Edward and Emmett on short notice was an imposition and the least he could do was treat us all to dinner."

"Hmmm, is that so?" Carlisle replied, looking at me pointedly, as if he understood the real reason for the invite.

"Yes, sir, and please take whatever time you need. Edward has made us reservations for an hour from now. We wanted to ensure you were home from the hospital."

"Well, give me half an hour and we can head out."

True to his word, Carlisle was back in the kitchen twenty-five minutes later. While we were waiting, Alice had also arrived. We took Emmett's Jeep and the two couples rode in Carlisle's Mercedes.

Edward had made reservations at The Tobacco Company, a restaurant located in Richmond's historic district. Located inside an old tobacco warehouse, the restaurant was decorated in a Roaring 20's theme, right down to a cigarette girl walking around the lounge and martini bar. While we waited, I heard the faint sounds of jazz drifting from the lounge off the main dining room. It wasn't busy since it was Monday night, and we were quickly shown to our table. I ended up sitting between Emmett and Alice and spent the evening getting to know my new roommate's girlfriend a little better.

Alice was originally from Washington and had moved out to the East Coast when she finished school. She came knocking on the door of Esme's firm without an appointment, but Esme must have liked what she saw, because she hired Alice on the spot. She was a little thing, probably not more than 5' tall with a lot of drive and determination to succeed. She looked like one of my sister's Disney fairies, with spiky black hair, big eyes, and a ton of energy. She was interested in fashion and design and I was a little surprised that she was working for Esme instead of designing clothes, but she explained that she loved both and this was a golden opportunity. After talking with Alice, I truly understood the phrase, 'Opposites attract.' She and Edward were close to polar opposites personality-wise, but it was obvious, even to a casual observer, that they complemented each other in all the right ways.

Before I knew it, two hours had flown by. I honestly couldn't remember the last time I had such an enjoyable evening. Edward's parents were wonderful. It was easy to see that, while his looks came from Esme, his contemplative nature was very much like Carlisle's. Carlisle, in his late 40's, was a retired Navy officer. While he might not wear a uniform anymore, his bearing reflected his years of military service. He'd been a doctor in the Navy, spending much of his career at Walter Reed in DC. I looked forward to spending more time with them in the future. They were so different from my own parents. Whereas Esme and Carlisle assimilated with society, Peter and Charlotte set the trends in their circle of friends.

After a brief argument with Carlisle over the check, I paid for dinner and we all headed out to the cars and back to the house. Alice and Edward were heading into the living room to watch some TV and invited Emmett and I to join them. Knowing the next day would be long and busy, I declined and headed upstairs to my room. Sleep didn't come easy, and when it did, it was interspersed with visions of a pretty brunette in shades. Why was a girl I'd never met becoming a fixture in my mind?

* * *

**HHMMMMM I wonder what it is about that girl?**

**The title of the chapter is a Tom Waits song, as is the song Jasper is listening to in is truck. **

**The songs are: **

**Come on up to the House: **_www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=-GugzLSbOQE_

**Innocent when you Dream: **_www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=VMc0ok9_V7Q&feature=related_

**Later in the story, a cause near and dear to my heart will be brought up, but I want to mention it here, too. Adrenal Cancer is an orphan cancer with little known about it. A true genius, Spencer Bell, was lost to it in December of 2006. Since then, a memorial foundation has been created in his name and I promote it whenever I can. Please check out Spencer and his legacy at: **_www(dot)spencerbellmemorial(dot)com_

**Also, I want to rec a fic that I love, even though the author, until recently, had her poor characters so sexually frustrated it wasn't funny. Check out Nikita2009's "Hands Open." You won't regret it! **


	3. Chapter 3: Midtown

_**Love and kisses and bewb gropes to my amazing beta/pre-reader team: LaMomo, Willow, Nails233, cherrypie0192, and hln3twimom. They keep me on track and make sure I make sense. Any errors are mine, cause I don't know when to leave well enough alone.**_

_**Special love to all my awesome FB friends and artists who created amazing banners to keep me inspired to write as well as my oldest daughter who keeps the other kiddos at bay so I can produce the words you read. MWAH sweets, Mom loves you!**_

_**Time to see how the guys decided to decorate their space. I know it is a little detailed, but it is my hope that later, if I mention them sitting in the living room, in your mind you will be able to see the room. **_

_**I own nothing but a laptop, a large collection of pictures of Jackson Rathbone, and one very obnoxious cat. All characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. I just borrowed them and took them all over Virginia. After all, Virginia is for Lovers! **_

* * *

**CHAPTER 3**

**Midtown**

The next morning dawned bright and sunny; I woke before my alarm. I took a shower in the en-suite bathroom, and then headed down to the kitchen, following the scent of fresh coffee and baking. As I walked into the room, Esme pulled a pan from the oven, filling the air with the mouthwatering smells of berries and cinnamon.

Looking up as she set the pan on a trivet on the counter, Esme graced me with her gentle smile and stepped around to give me a quick hug.

"Good morning, Jasper! You're up before everyone else. The early bird gets the first piece of coffee cake," she said with a light chuckle. "The coffee cups are in the cupboard above the pot and all the fixings are next to it. Please, help yourself."

While I made myself a cup of coffee, Esme removed a plate of sliced fruits from the refrigerator and set it on the breakfast bar. Placing a large slice of coffee cake in front of me, Esme added, "Now, start with that and then tell me what you'd like to eat for breakfast."

"Esme, you don't need to cook for me," I protested, "I honestly don't usually eat breakfast until later in the morning, if at all. The fruit and coffee cake are plenty." I took a bite of the coffee cake and rolled my eyes. It was like heaven.

While I ate, Esme and I talked about the house and the area where it was located. She and Carlisle had only been to the beach a few times, most recently when they'd come to the tournament the previous year. By the time Edward and Emmett sauntered into the room, I was on my second slice of cake and had just poured my third cup of coffee.

"Oh my God! Aunt Esme, your kitchen smells better than Krispy Kreme when the _'HOT'_ sign is on! What did you bake and are we allowed to eat it?" Emmett exclaimed, grabbing the rest of the coffee cake off my plate and shoving it in his mouth. He jumped to the side as I went to deck him and, wiping the crumbs from his mouth, placed a smacking kiss on his aunt's cheek.

Laughingly shoving him away, Esme answered, "There is coffee cake and fruit. Lazies who don't get out of bed early have to eat it cooled off, instead of warm like Jasper did. The coffee is in the pot, if you want any, and you know where the cups are." Looking pointedly at Emmett she added, "And I suppose you need me to cook you something a little more substantial?"

Emmett hung his head sheepishly, then flashed a smile at Esme, "Well, I'm a growing boy! Some eggs and bacon, and maybe some toast?"

"Ha! Emmett McCarty, you are far from a boy, and with the way you're growing, none of your pants are going to fit! All right," she said, reaching up to pull a frying pan from the overhead pot rack, "Edward, can I make you something too, dear?"

Edward decided to join Emmett for some breakfast, and after reassuring Esme again that I was fine, I excused myself to go upstairs and grab my duffle bag. As I gathered the things I'd laid out in the room and bathroom, I thought about how Carlisle and Esme were so welcoming. I sat on the bed and looked around. Being at their house almost felt like coming home, something I hadn't experienced in years, even long before I'd left my own home. Quashing the memories that this train of thought invariably brought about, I headed back downstairs, stopping by the front door to drop off my bag, and then into the kitchen to encourage my roommates to get the lead out so we could get on the road. Moving closer, I overheard Esme speaking to my friends.

"Well, Jasper is a lovely boy, but his eyes have so much sadness in them. Maybe y'all living together will be good for him. And I expect you to bring him home for the holidays, too, if he's not going anywhere else. No one should be alone at that time of year."

I couldn't hear Emmett or Edward's response over the clink of the dishes being loaded in the dishwasher. I pushed through the swinging doors before the conversation continued. _Guess that old saying is true,_ I thought to myself. _Eavesdroppers never hear anything good about themselves._

"Hey, guys, are we almost ready? We're scheduled to get the truck soon."

Edward looked at his watch and stood up. "Mom, how about Emmett and I ride to U–Haul and pick up the truck, while you and Jasper head over to the warehouse? He can start looking around and getting an idea of what he might want for his room and find some suggestions for the other rooms."

"That's fine, dear. Jasper, just give me a few minutes to finish straightening up the kitchen and we can head out."

I quickly agreed and walked out to the Jeep with the others. Placing my bag in the back, I turned to Emmett, who was walking around the back of the car toward the driver's side.

"Anything in particular you want me to find for you? I mean besides the obvious."

"The obvious?" he asked.

"Yeah. You know, king-size bed with a wooden headboard to log your conquests on."

"You know, dude, I so can't wait to see you eat those words when I win our bet later this week."

"Em, I'm not remotely worried. My biggest concern is dealing with your pouting while I'm holding on to your favorite video game for a week."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Laugh it up while you can. _when_ I win, I'm gonna play music that'll drag you kicking and screaming into this decade."

"Are you two done with your prick-waving?" Edward asked. "I want to get going so Mom's whole day isn't tied up dealing with us. She's already giving us the furniture for free. We don't need to keep her away from her clients any longer than necessary."

At that moment, Esme walked out the door. Emmett and Edward got in the Jeep and I joined Esme by her Escalade.

"Just give me a moment to move all these fabric samples to the back, Jasper," she said, opening the passenger door. I stepped up and took the samples off the seat and followed Esme to the back of the SUV. After depositing the huge pile in the back, I climbed into the passenger's seat and we headed off to the warehouse.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

I was absolutely shocked when we arrived at Esme's warehouse. The warehouse actually comprised three buildings linked together by closed-in passageways. Inside, I was treated to a selection that would have given any salesroom a run for its money. I knew that Esme was successful—Carlisle's statements the day before gave credence to that-but THIS-this was way more than I'd expected.

The warehouse didn't just contain piles of similar furniture grouped together, like you would expect in a place where no one ever sees it. Instead, individual room groupings were set up, including all the accessories needed to complete them. Pictures were hung on movable walls that stood behind sofas, chairs, and tables. Lamps and other décor items graced end tables and shelving units, giving one the feeling of actually being in the room.

"Esme, I-I-I'm speechless!" I exclaimed.

Her laughter tinkled across the open space, as she said, "This just works for me. It's so much easier to prepare a room for showcasing when I can recreate the dimensions and the layout right here in the warehouse. It saves me making trips to the site and gives me the ability to play with the client's needs before presenting them with a storyboard. Now, why don't you look around and see what you like? The bedrooms are through the door to the left, so you can start with your room. I'm going to go check my messages and I'll come find you in a bit."

I nodded, overwhelmed to speechlessness at her generosity.

As Esme moved to her office in the back, I headed toward the door she had pointed out to me. After poking around for the better part of half an hour, I found it. Tucked away in a back corner was an almost identical replica of the set in the guest room at Esme and Carlisle's house. I sat on the end of the bed and closed my eyes, waiting for the same feeling of comfort I'd felt in their home to wash over me. I felt empty, just as I always had. I knew the truth. Furniture didn't make a house a home. It's just stuff. It was the heart in the house that made it home. I could create that. My friends and I could make our own home. I pushed myself up off the bed and looked at the set again. This was what I wanted. The simple style appealed to me, even the linens had caught my eye. Draped in a cream comforter shot through with cocoa colored stripes and the occasional blue, it reflected the understated charm that I liked. I planned to ask Esme where I might find a similar set.

Don't get me wrong, my mother's decorator also had impeccable taste. However, my mom was fond of tchotchkes that cluttered every surface. Usually quite valuable, they made my parents' house a veritable minefield to move around in. I'd always known that the rooms would be more visually dynamic without the clutter, but it was what made Mom happy. Dad complained about it on more than one occasion, but it never slowed her down.

Having found something for my bedroom, I headed back to the main warehouse to look at some of the other groupings. Edward, Emmett, and I'd talked about what we all liked on the drive up from Virginia Beach, so I was confident I could find a couple things for them to look at before they got here.

As I entered, Esme walked out of her office with a distracted look on her face. Rather than bother her while she was musing through whatever had cropped up, I headed toward the living area groupings. There, in the second area I walked into, I found it-a black leather sectional with deep red and white abstract-patterned throw pillows. While it was the masculine look that Emmett would love, it had the clean lines and simplicity that Edward and I preferred. The piece was displayed with a pair of arm chairs covered in a heavy brick-toned fabric with a scatter pattern of small black diamond shapes. The tables were wood, painted black, with a white marble inlay on the top of each. Two stunning abstract paintings in shades of grey, white, and red hung on the moving walls and tied everything together. I was certain my roommates were going to like it as much as I did.

Lost in my inner thoughts, I didn't hear Esme walk up behind me. When she laid her hand on my shoulder, I nearly came out of my skin and completely startled the slightly built woman as I spun around suddenly. Esme jumped and her hand flew to her throat.

"Oh! Esme! I'm so sorry! I didn't hear you behind me."

Swallowing hard, she answered, "Oh, Jasper, you did give me a scare, but I should know better than to sneak up on people," she blew out a deep breath and continued, "Have you found anything you're interested in? This sectional grouping is very nice. I was planning to suggest it to y'all."

I assured her that I did like the grouping and then led her to the other warehouse where the bedroom set was located. As we approached it, I questioned Esme about where I might find similar linens. Her answer surprised me.

"Jasper, please, take the linens, too. They were bought for the grouping and would've been sold at auction with it. Any of the décor items that are with the groups are to be considered part of the package as well. I want you boys to have a nice home—not coffee tables made out of cinder blocks and milk crates!"

I laughed along with her and gave up any idea of protesting. Esme, small as she was, was a force to be reckoned with and I wasn't planning on taking her on. It's easy to see why the guys loved her, I was becoming enamored myself. Giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, I thanked her again for her generosity and tucked her arm into mine as we walked toward the section where dining suites were located.

We were halfway across the floor when Emmett and Edward fell through the door, tripping over each other's feet. Laughing and pushing each other, they pulled up short when they noticed Esme and me strolling toward them, but not before Emmett shoved Edward one more time.

"Boys! Please try to remember that this _is_ a business. A modicum of decorum would be greatly appreciated," Esme chastised.

"But, Edward started it, Aunt Esme!" Emmett protested.

"My word, Emmett, are you three or twenty-three? I'm fairly confident that it was something you said or implied that provoked the altercation to begin with. You can bat those blue eyes at me all you want, dear, but I have raised you for far too long to fall for that innocent charm you use on the women in your life who are too vapid to know better."

I tried unsuccessfully to hide the grin that crept across my face and Edward laughed out loud. It was obvious Emmett wasn't fooling anyone who really knew him.

"Now, do you want to look for your bedrooms first or do you want to see the set that Jasper and I found for the living room?"

The guys decided to look at the living room on their way to the other side of the warehouse, where Esme and I had just come from. It was quickly agreed that the living room was perfect and Emmett went off to find a bed. Edward was planning on using the set he had in storage from his apartment-another one of Esme's fabulous finds. He and I talked about what he already had and what we would still need. His apartment had been small, with no dining area, so we still needed to find a table and chairs.

Esme thought for a minute, and then led us to a dark wood trestle table with chairs and benches. The rich mahogany color and high back arm chairs saved it from looking country, but it was sturdy enough to endure the daily use of three grown men. Esme had placed long pillows on the benches that were a similar shade to the chairs in the living room grouping, only this fabric had splashes of black and white woven through the material—as if someone had slashed across it with a paintbrush. The white ceramic vase wrapped in wrought iron and filled with blood red lilies in the center also helped belie the country origins of the table's design. Edward and I declared it perfect.

As we headed back to the office, Alice bounced in the door, followed by two burly men that I assumed were the help Esme told us we'd have loading the truck. Alice joined us and introduced the men, Jared and Brady, that worked in the warehouse and did all the grunt work for the design firm when they were working on site.

Esme showed the two men the furniture we'd chosen so far and they began packing up the accessory pieces and boxing the pictures. They worked quickly and efficiently and declined my and Edward's offers to help.

Esme asked Alice if she could speak to her in the office about the client she'd met the day before, so Edward and I went in search of Emmett. We found him standing in front of an enormous bedroom suite. The California King bed had a dark cherry frame on a platform. It was a good thing that we'd already decided to give the larger room to Emmett. There was no way this monstrosity would fit in any of the other bedrooms.

"Dudes! Whatya think? Is it me? I love it! It's even long enough with room to spare!" Emmett exclaimed, flopping down on the bed.

I had to agree. The large bed with the jewel-toned patchwork satin and velvet comforter set and black linens was as vibrant and ebullient as the personality of the man looking at it. We all headed back to Esme's office to let her know what Emmett had chosen. Edward tapped on the partially ajar door and pushed it open. Esme and Alice were bent over Esme's desk, pouring over a collection of storyboards and fabric sample books.

Esme glanced up when we entered and held up her hand for us to wait just a minute.

"Well, Alice, the layouts you've created are exactly what Mr. Stanley told us he was looking for. I'm not sure why he's so adamant that someone from the design team be on-site every single day. Both of you assured me yesterday that the meeting went well. With the fall Home-a-Rama coming up, one of us has to be here, too. I'm just not sure how to handle this."

"Problems, Mom?" Edward asked.

"Not really a problem, just more of a complication. Typically, with these out-of-town jobs, we check in on them at the end of the week and set the contractor plans for the upcoming week. This client, though, insists that a designer be on-site every day to handle anything that crops up."

"Well, how do you normally handle any situation that crops up when you aren't on site?" Emmett questioned, reaching in Esme's mini-fridge for a can of Coke.

"That's the thing Emmett. Any issues can usually be resolved with a phone call. Even on local jobs, we don't visit the site every day, maybe 2 or 3 times in a week. With the travel distance to Virginia Beach, this is a logistical nightmare. But, enough about that. Did you find something you like?"

Emmett described the set to Esme, who in turn informed Jared and Brady so they could pack it up. The young men were definitely pros. They had already packed up the entire living room set and were nearly finished with the dining room. At this rate, we'd be on the road well before mid-afternoon, allowing us to beat most of the traffic. We might even be able to get a good portion of the truck unloaded, too, before it got too dark to see. As I stood in the office door and looked around, I saw the last thing we needed to complete our house. Pushed to the side, almost like an afterthought, was an attractive little wet bar. The same rich mahogany as the dining table, the front edge was padded and covered in black leather similar to the sectional. The bar was long, probably close to 6 feet, and curved on the sides. Rather than bar stools, there were four high, full-backed chairs that also had supple leather seats in the same shade of black. Separated as it was from the rest, I was afraid it was for a client. I nudged Edward to get his attention and pointed it out to him. He whistled low under his breath.

"Gorgeous," he murmured. He turned to his mother to ask her about it.

"Mom, what's up with the wet bar?" he said, nearly salivating at the thought of adding it to the pile of furniture we were already making off with from the warehouse.

"Hhhmmm," she mumbled distractedly, looking over some papers on her desk. Then she glanced up at Edward. "I'm sorry, dear. What did you ask?"

"I was wondering about the wet bar back in the corner," he answered.

"Oh. Oh, that. It was purchased for a client and he paid for it, but his wife didn't want it in the house. So, I have it sitting here waiting for the auction. Can you boys use it in the house? It certainly goes well with the dining and living suites you've chosen. If you like it, please, do take it. It's not a piece that will sell easily in this area." She glanced again at the papers she had picked up off the desk, suddenly tapping her finger on something in them. "Can you boys give me a minute? I need to make a phone call and see if I can rectify the situation with our client in Virginia Beach."

We excused ourselves and I pulled the door closed behind us. As we headed out toward the truck, Alice joined us from where she had been organizing the packing of Emmett's bedroom suite. As she put her hand in his, Edward told Alice about the addition of the wet bar. Alice informed Brady and Jared, and then the four of us went to stand over by Emmett's Jeep.

Edward leaned back against the car and pulled Alice back against him, placing a kiss on the top of her head. She looked up and smiled, and then she and Edward talked about the situation with Mr. Stanley. I put a foot up on the bumper and leaned on my knee. Glancing at Emmett, I brought up the tournament. He always had a better handle on who was surfing, since he spent more time hanging out with the others. I just wasn't as inclined to bar-hopping as some of the others on the circuit.

"So, Em, got any idea of who we're competing against? I'm sure Paul and his boys will be here, but I have no idea who else."

Emmett thought for a minute and answered, "Yeah, Paul will be here. I also know that Mike, that blond kid from up near Seattle, is coming. That pack of Australian kids that were down in the Outer Banks in July are coming, too. Of course, we'll get the local kids from here that don't follow the tour all the time. I'd like to see that one kid from last season again. Remember him? He was like 15, but friggin' smoked out on the water. He's definitely one to watch."

"That kid is good. Luckily, by the time he's ready to hit the tour, we won't be competing against him anymore."

"Speak for yourself, dude! I'm competing until I can't get up on the board anymore!"

I laughed loudly. "Oh my God, I can so see you, 50 years old, beer gut hanging over your board shorts, trying to pull your fat ass up on a board. Matter of fact, we could sell tickets to that and make big money." I shook my head at the visual, and laughed again.

A movement near the warehouse doors suddenly caught our attention. Esme was standing there with her hands over her eyes to shield them from the sun. When she spotted us, she headed in our direction. The distracted look from earlier was gone, replaced with the cheerful smile I'd begun to associate with her.

"Alice," she said, as she walked over, "how do you feel about a temporary relocation for a few weeks?"

* * *

_**Hah! As if y'all didn't see this conversation coming! **_

_**Next chapter returns us to Virginia Beach and setting up house. Hopefully the guys are going to bust their asses and Emmett will get to test his resolve to win the bet with an early trip out clubbing. **_

_**Big, warm, squishy hugs to all the lovely ladies and the occasional gentleman I write with on Skype. They keep me motivated and they are each and everyone amazing writers themselves. **_

_**A group for fans of Going Under has been started on Facebook. There is a great bunch of ladies in there and we are always looking for more friends. Come join us to talk about the story, other fic recs, and just generally hang out.**_

_****__**FB group: **_**_http:/www(.)facebook(.)com/#!/home(.)php?sk=group_145967552120329&ap=1_**

_**Reviews are as exciting as trying out mattresses with Jasper and make me smile almost as much! **_


	4. Chapter 4: Anywhere I Lay My Head

_**Love and kisses and bewb gropes to my amazing beta/pre-reader team: nails233, LaMomo, Willow, cherrypie0192, and hln3twimom. They keep me on track and make sure I make sense. Any errors are mine, cause I don't know when to leave well enough alone.**_

_**I own nothing but an Eagles CD that I dusted off to write this chapter. Stephenie Meyer owns all the characters, I just make them move furniture.**_

_**Please do not reproduce, translate, caress, or fondle (or lick, nibble, or kiss for the girls from the fan group, for whom I have to be specific since they're abusing poor Jasper!) my story inappropriately in any way or Alice will short sheet your bed.**_

* * *

CHAPTER 4

Anywhere I Lay my Head

_A movement near the warehouse doors caught the attention of all of us. Esme was standing there with her hands over her eyes to shield them from the sun. When she spotted us, she headed in our direction. The distracted look from earlier was gone, replaced with the cheerful smile I had begun to associate with her. _

"_Alice," she said, as she walked over, "How do you feel about a temporary relocation for a few weeks?"_

-xxxxxxxxxx-

"What? I – I – I…what do you mean, Esme?" Alice stuttered, "I'm not sure I understand."

"I just got off the phone with Mr. Stanley. According to his contract, the design firm will oversee every aspect of the remodel. However, any expenses incurred for travel, meals, and accommodations will be his responsibility if the designer is required to make any trips deemed unnecessary by the firm. I had called him with this information in hopes of persuading him to agree to the plans we had already decided on. Instead, he agreed to accept the expenses incurred from having you on-site every day."

"You are serious, aren't you, Esme?" said Alice, shaking her head. "I am shocked that he is so set on this, but hey, it is a big contract and he has a large circle of friends that may hire us, too. If this is what it takes, I need to go pack!"

"Good girl. I knew you would go!" Esme answered, and hugging Alice, continued, "Mr. Stanley is making the arrangements for a suite for you to stay in. I will give you a corporate card for your other expenses and we will bill him for those. Thank you so much for agreeing to this, honey. I know it is a huge imposition!"

"Don't be silly, Esme," Alice giggled, "I'm now going to get paid for being in the same city with my out of town boyfriend."

Just then, Brady walked over. "Ms. Esme," he said, in a deep, gravelly voice, "the truck is loaded and ready to go. I have a couple questions about the Field House layout for Home-a-Rama, if you have a minute?"

Turning toward him, Esme replied, "Oh sure, Brady. Give me just one minute and I'll meet you in the office." Turning back to us she added, "Alice, why don't you head home to pack, and then meet me back here to review the story boards and get your hotel information. I guess this means you boys will be wanting to get on the road, too, so you don't get back too late, huh?"

We all agreed. After a promise from Esme that she and Carlisle would be at the tournament on Saturday if Emmett or I advanced to the finals, and with a flurry of hugs and goodbyes, we piled into our respective vehicles and got on the road. Edward was driving the truck alone, while Emmett and I followed in the Jeep. The past twenty-four hours had been a whirlwind of activity and my head was still spinning. I wanted nothing more than to lean my head back and close my eyes in peace, but Emmett had other ideas. After the first half hour of riding with Emmett's incessant chatter and the pop dance music he loved so much, I was ready to scream.

"Dude, I love you as if you were my own brother, but can we PLEASE listen to anything else? Hell you have XM, what about some classic rock or alternative? This shit makes me want to drive stakes in my ears so I never have to hear it again. I'm begging, dude. I can't take any more!"

Emmett looked over and grinned oafishly. "Go ahead and change it to whatever you want, Jazz. Better get used to it though. When I win the bet, you'll be listening to Bruno Mars and Katy Perry until your ears bleed."

"Yeah, whatever," I replied, as I leaned forward and punched in the station code for Hair Nation. Ke$ha's 'TikTok' was replaced with Dokken's 'Dream Warriors' and I sat back with a sigh, closing my eyes in the process. Arena rock was sadly underrated. Don't get me wrong, some of that shit totally sucked dick, but there was so many bands that kicked ass that I could live with the ones that didn't.

"So, after we get the truck unloaded, I was thinking we needed to go to storage and get Edward's shit while we still have the truck. That way, even if we don't get that stuff unloaded tonight, it will be there for first thing in the morning." Emmett said, as he downshifted and changed lanes to move around a slow-moving car that had gotten in between us and the truck.

I nodded, my eyes still closed, and answered, "Sounds good to me. I know I got to eat something before we start unloading, though. Isn't there a sub shop right up the street from the house? It is something quick we can grab and chow on before we get to work."

"Yeah, it's at that little strip mall with the grocery store. That'll work. When we get closer to the house, call my cuz and see what he wants and he can head to the house. It doesn't make any sense for all of us to stop. I'm gonna grab some soda and beer, too, maybe some other shit to snack on tonight and tomorrow. I guess I had better grab some coffee and filters, too, since you and Edward can't function without your java in the morning. The box with his coffee pot will have to come out of the truck tonight, then."

"Yeah, that's cool," I murmured; only half awake.

The rest of the trip was spent in companionable quiet and I drifted in and out of sleep for the next hour. Visions of the brunette dotted my half dreams. I saw her lying on the beach, laughing and smiling. The sun glinted off her hair as the sea breeze blew it around her face, and she squinted against its rays. Just as she was about to speak, I was jerked awake by Emmett giving my shoulder a shove. The vision wisped away and I dragged my eyes open.

Sitting up, I noticed we were near the exit we needed to take to head home. Home. There was a word I hadn't used in a long time. Shaking the fog from my mind, I pulled out my cell and called Edward to tell him our plans and see what he wanted to eat. He continued on to the house as we turned into the shopping center. Splitting up, Emmett headed toward the grocery store. I yelled after him to grab some chips, too, and then stepped into Subway to order our sandwiches.

As I leaned against the wall waiting for them to finish making the order, I glanced toward the window, looked away, and then did a double take. Was that her? Here? Grabbing the bag of sandwiches, I rushed outside just in time to see _her, _my brunette from the park, pulling away in a dilapidated old Chevy truck. As I stood there on the sidewalk, watching the truck pull out of the parking lot, Emmett walked up and bumped into my side.

"Whatcha staring at?" he asked, scanning the lot. "The Jeep is right over there," he gestured, grocery bags swinging wildly in his hand.

I looked over to see him struggling with two handfuls of bags. I laughed at him and his voracious appetite and grabbed some of the bags to help him out. I mentally shelved the description of the truck and the idea that just perhaps, the brunette lived close by. Honestly, what was I hoping for? A chance meeting in the frozen food aisle? Good Lord! In two days, I had seen her twice from a distance, didn't know her name, and yet still she haunted my mind. Thank God Emmett hadn't pursued what I was looking at. I'd never live it down if he knew I was obsessing over a woman I'd never even met.

Back at the house, Edward already had the truck open and had unloaded several of the boxes of accessories Brady and Jared had boxed up. He had been stacking them neatly in the corners of the rooms they belonged in. He was in the process of pulling one of the arm chairs out as we walked up.

"Lunch is here!" Emmett bellowed.

"Great! I didn't realize how hungry I was until I made my third trip in with the boxes. I'll just grab this and follow you guys in," Edward answered as he walked down the truck ramp toward us.

Emmett and I piled the bags on the counter while Edward placed the chair in the living room. Setting the sandwiches on the island, I grabbed some sodas and a bag of chips to put with them, and then made short work of putting the rest of the groceries away before I ate. By the time I turned around, half of Emmett's sub was gone and he was popping the tab on his second soda. I unwrapped my sub and shook my head in amazement as Emmett shoved a handful of chips in his mouth.

"What?" he asked, swallowing and washing them down with a swig of soda. "I'm hungry, so sue me! Besides, I want to get the truck done and get over to the storage unit. I don't know about you guys, but I don't want to spend all week getting this shit sorted out."

Edward took a drink, set his can down and cleared his throat. "You guys ought to know that Ali is going to be here later on tonight. She called right after I pulled in the driveway. I didn't think it would be a problem, but if it is, I can just go to the hotel to see her."

"No skin off my nose," Emmett replied, "just so long as she is willing to open a box or two. There is no way in hell you are getting out of unpacking just so you can go sex up your girlfriend."

"Hey! I am NOT the notorious slacker out of this group!" Edward retorted. "Besides, she was already planning on helping us out. One of her possibly less endearing traits is an obsessive compulsion to organize everyone and everything. However, it's also to our advantage, as she also has more energy than that damn battery rabbit on speed. So," he continued, looking pointedly at Emmett, "those of us who want to go out clubbing should appreciate the extra pair of hands."

At that, I laughed out loud. Crumpling my wrapper up and shoving it onto one of the empty grocery bags, I decided it was time to rally the troops.

"Well, guys, I think we need to get hot on the truck and get that furniture in here. Otherwise we won't make it to storage and back before Alice gets in."

We all headed outside and the next couple of hours were spent hauling furniture in and setting in its respective rooms. We decided to put the beds together after we got back from the storage unit, once we had all of them at the house.

Loading up the storage unit wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Alice might be obsessive compulsive, but Edward didn't seem to be a far cry behind her. He had even organized his boxes by the rooms they came out of. We got the truck loaded in no time and were headed back to the house with plenty of daylight to spare.

"Thank God for summer and Daylight Savings Time," I mused aloud. "It looks like we could get all of this unloaded and in the house with time to spare. What time do you have to have the truck back?" I asked Edward as he backed up the driveway.

"Well, I booked it for forty-eight hours, but turning it in tomorrow morning by eight would guarantee we didn't pay for a second day on it. Once it's empty, I can drop it off at any local U-Haul. I just have to make sure the tank is full first," he answered.

"Sounds good to me," Emmett answered. "The sooner we get done, the better." Opening the door and changing course, he added, "Hey, what are we gonna do about dinner? I'm getting hungry."

"Wow, there's a shocker," I joked, moving to roll open the door. "Who'd have thought that you would be the one asking about food?"

"Dude! Even hired help gets a dinner break. Free labor should get at least that," he retorted.

"Oh, right! And, like none of this shit is yours, anyway. Suck it up. We can order pizza or something. I don't know about you, but I certainly don't want to be sleeping on the floor tonight. We'll eat and work," I replied, shoving a stack of boxes into his hands.

"Look, I'll order pizza when we get in the house," Edward said, grabbing a stack of boxes himself. "I am sure you're not going to die of starvation in the time it takes for a delivery driver to get here."

I grabbed a pile of boxes and followed the two of them inside. While Emmett and I put the boxes in the rooms they belonged in, Edward called in the pizza order. As I headed back out to the truck I heard his phone ring and figured it was Alice, calling for directions. My suspicions were confirmed when, on my next trip out, she pulled up next to Emmett's Jeep.

"Hey, Jazz," she trilled, climbing out of the car. "Anything I can grab?"

"Sure. Why don't you take one of these last two boxes and I will start on the big stuff," I answered, reaching for the headboard to Edward's bed. Emmett bounded out the door as we were walking back up.

"Grab an actual piece of furniture," I yelled back to him, as I hauled the headboard in the door.

Edward was taking the box out of Alice's hand and leaning in to give her a kiss when I finally followed her inside.

"Hey, guys," I teased, "can you keep it PG until we get the truck done?"

Edward chuckled and Alice blushed.

"Pizza's here!" Emmett shouted as he came in the door carrying one of the nightstands. "The driver is right behind me. Jazz and I got lunch and groceries, dinner is on you," he tossed back over his shoulder as he walked in Edward's bedroom.

Edward paid the driver and Alice took the boxes and put them on the kitchen island. "Plates?" she asked.

"Um, not unless you can find the right box. Emmett grabbed some napkins and paper towels earlier, they're on the counter. We are gonna have to settle for that for now," Edward answered.

"That'll work." Opening the fridge she asked, "What does everyone want to drink?"

We all opted for beer and I pulled the barstools over to the island, since we hadn't put the dining table together yet. The next half hour was spent eating and joking around, mostly at Emmett and his appetite's expense. Alice was overwhelmed at the amount of food he ate.

"Does he eat like this all the time?" she asked. When Edward and I nodded, she shook her head. "Where on earth does he store it? And please tell me that everyone is paying for groceries. Feeding him is gonna bankrupt you and Jazz if he doesn't chip in." Edward and I laughed while Emmett looked offended.

"Hello? Standing right here," Emmett interjected, making us all laugh even harder. Emmett hmphed and stood up.

"Well, if I am going to be abused, I might as well get back to the truck. You guys helping, or are you going to continue the 'bash Emmett' session for a few more minutes?"

I finished my beer and wiped my mouth. "Come on tough guy. Let's get back to work so you can demonstrate the great feats of strength that generate your appetite." I slapped him on the back and headed out the door.

Within an hour, everything was unloaded and Emmett and I were putting bed frames together. Edward was working on the table, while Alice started unpacking the boxes labeled "Kitchen" and getting that room set up. As we finished the last frame, I suddenly heard music coming from the living room. I followed the sounds of Tchaikovsky out to the living room where Edward was setting up the entertainment unit on the only solid wall in the room.

"Beds are together and just waiting for some sheets," I announced, walking into the room. "Holy shit! You guys got a lot done out here," I exclaimed, noticing the pile of empty boxes by the door.

"No slacking going on out here," Alice answered, as she finished putting the glasses in the cupboard and shut the door.

Edward finished putting the electronic components into the unit, stood up, and brushed his hands on his legs. "It is almost eleven. Emmett, why don't you follow me back to U-Haul so we can drop the truck off? Then it's done and we don't have to worry about it tomorrow."

"Works for me. Let me just grab my keys and we can head out," Emmett answered.

As they headed out the door, Alice got my attention, "Jazz, how about you break down those boxes and take them out to the recycle bin. While you do, I will go ahead and take care of making up all the beds for everyone. Then, I think I will talk Edward into calling it a night and we can get going early tomorrow morning. I'll even get up and cook breakfast for us all."

"You got yourself a deal, darlin'. I wouldn't mind a remotely early night. Emmett and I have to compete in a couple of days, and unlike him, I can't run on pure adrenaline alone."

Alice and I spent the next half hour in companionable silence. When she finished the beds, the guys weren't back yet, so we decided to start tackling some of the décor boxes that had been packed up at the warehouse. Six boxes later, the great area was completely unpacked and all of the boxes were disposed of. The house was starting to look lived in and I was grateful for all of Alice's help. We had even managed to get the pictures up on the walls. Wednesday was going to be a fairly light day as far as the house was concerned. I am sure that meant Emmett would be dragging us out to some club so he could get his drink on and pick up some little chick to keep him company. It would be interesting to see how he planned to handle the difference in our situation now from in the past. Lovin' and leavin' was no longer an option for him.

-xxxxxxxxx-

In the mini-dictator style I was beginning to associate with Alice, she did manage to convince Edward to knock off for the night. And, true to her word, there was a huge breakfast for us all by eight o'clock the next morning. Unfortunately, we were left to our own devices to finish our rooms, since Alice had to report to the Stanley house for work. She was also checking in to her hotel that afternoon. I got the feeling that she and Edward were both fond of their own space, even thought it was also blatantly obvious that they were very much in love.

By noon, we were all done unpacking all the boxes in the house. I had also called a moving company and the storage facility in Galveston and made arrangements for all of my stuff to be crated up and shipped to me. There wasn't very much there, but it would be nice to have my own things in my new room. Emmett had done the same with his stuff, too. We both grabbed showers, and leaving Edward to his own devices, we decided to head over to the beach to get registered for the tournament. Once we got that out of the way, we were free to do what we wanted until seven the next morning.

As we walked out of the hotel, Emmett whooped. I looked at him and quirked my eyebrow, but said nothing.

"What? Aren't you the least bit excited? The house is unpacked, we're registered for the tournament, and it is only one o'clock! We have the rest of the day to do whatever we want."

I stopped and pulled my shades off the collar of my shirt. Shoving them on, I pushed my hair out of my face. "And, what exactly is it that you want to do, Em?"

"Well, there is some shopping I need to do, if you want to tag along. Otherwise, I can drop you back off at home and I'll go alone."

"Depends," I answered, "Where are you going?"

"I wasn't kidding about getting a decent grill and maybe we could grab some patio furniture or something. I mean, hell, we gotta have something to sit on out there. A pool table would be nice, too. We got that big ass bonus room with nothing in it but the bar right now. A pool table would be fun. Maybe a dartboard, too."

"A dartboard? Are you frigging nuts? Dude! We are renting the house! We can't go throwing darts at the walls."

"Sure we can," he retorted. "All we have to do is cover the whole wall with corkboard. They sell corkboard tiles with a sticky back. It will protect the wall from the darts. C'mon dude! Don't be a fucking buzzkill!"

"Are you forgetting we have a third roommate?" I asked him. "I think we need to check with Edward before we go that far."

"Fine!" Emmett pouted. "I'll call him now and see what he says."

"No, let's head back home and sit down and talk to him about it. It is not fair to spring it on him over the phone and force him to make a quick decision. Besides, I want to grab a bite to eat and am tired of paying for takeout all the time. I am seriously considering learning how to cook now that I have someplace worthwhile to do it."

"Yeah, whatever. I'll believe that shit when I see it!" he shot back. "Then let's get going. I really want to go pick this stuff out. I guess it would be easier if we had your truck, too. I don't think we can fit anything, not even the grill, in my Jeep."

I shook my head and climbed into the Jeep. Emmett was such a tool.

-xxxxxxxxxxx-

Surprisingly, Edward had no objections to Emmett's idea, once he elicited a promise that Emmett would take full responsibility for painting the room when it came time to pull the corkboard down. He declined joining us, though. He had spoken to Alice and they had made plans to meet for dinner in a few hours. He wanted to work on some lesson plans before classes started next week.

Using the GPS in his phone, Emmett found a recreation warehouse about fifteen minutes away. He helped me unload Miss Piggy from the truck, and I stored her under the house in the covered parking area. Climbing up in the truck, I pulled a hair tie out of my center storage console and clubbed my hair back off my face. I needed to seriously consider a haircut, but honestly I just couldn't be bothered.

Following Emmett's directions, we found the place with no problems. Emmett grabbed the first salesperson we saw, a guy about our age. The tag on his shirt said his name was Eric. Emmett described his "perfect grill" to Eric. He thought for a few seconds, and then led us over toward where the larger grills were. The model he showed Emmett could do everything but walk into the kitchen and get the food—and I wondered about that possibility, too. Even the $2400 price tag didn't scare Emmett off. When Eric said we could have the assembled floor model and a filled tank for two grand since it was the end of the summer, Emmett didn't bat an eye and said he'd take it. I was pretty sure Eric worked on commission and Emmett had made his day, because the poor guy lost the power of speech. As a matter of fact, when Emmett asked where the pool tables were, I'm pretty sure the guy almost pissed himself with joy. He pointed us in the direction of the pool tables and said he would join us there after he removed the grill from the floor. Right, like there is a big rush on Wednesday afternoons for super grills.

Walking across the sales floor, Emmett looked like a kid with ADHD at a laser light show. The place was a bachelor's wet dream. Hot tubs, grills, game tables, patio furniture, even arcade games, everything needed to make a game room fun. You name it, they sold it. I had to damn near pull him off the pinball machines.

I left him alone with the pool tables and his ruminations of all their varied uses, outside of playing pool. Yeah. Eww. Remind me to sanitize that shit if he was in there alone with one of his playthings.

I decided to go ahead and spring for the patio set. I found a black wrought iron set, including a table with four chairs, a couple chaise loungers, and a small end table to put between them. There was no way in hell it would fit in the truck. While I was looking, another salesperson approached me. I told him that Eric was helping me and walked away. Hell, the poor guy deserved the sale for dealing with Emmett.

By the time I found Emmett again, the pool table and a dart board had been picked out. He also had directions to Home Depot, where we could get the cork tiles to cover the wall. Eric wrote everything up, ran the sales, and made arrangements for the pool table and furniture to be delivered late the next afternoon. We should be done surfing by then, but if not, Edward would be home to get the delivery.

We headed to Home Depot to get what we needed there and Emmett decided that the new grill needed to be broken in that night for dinner. We stopped at the grocery store near the house again to snag some real food to put in the fridge. For future information, two single guys grocery shopping together, especially when one is the size of Michael Oher, is probably not a good idea. Definitely not, when neither of them can cook.

-xxxxxxxxxx-

Edward helped unload the truck and between the three of us we got the grill up on the main deck. He said he could make sure he was home to catch the deliveries the next day, but that he did have to go over to the university in the morning. While Emmett fiddled with the grill, I worked on getting the groceries put away and the steaks prepped. Edward was heading out to meet Alice for dinner. I heard the door close, but looked up when it immediately re-opened.

"Hey, did you guys make plans for tonight yet? Ali and I are going to a small bar called Smackwater Jack's near the mall after dinner, if you want to join us. She apparently has some friends in town and they are all meeting up there."

"Really? Female friends?" Emmett asked as he walked in on the tail end of the conversation. "I could hang with that."

"Good Lord!" I groaned. "Edward, do I have to bring the walking ball of testosterone, or would you prefer I leave him in his man cave? I mean, yeah he's house-broken and all, but he still humps the legs of unsuspecting victims."

Edward was laughing so hard his whole body was shaking and tears were rolling down his face. Emmett didn't find it nearly as funny.

"So glad you guys are having so much fun at my expense. Just remember Edward and I received our home training in the same place," he retorted.

"Oh, just bring him along," Edward managed to gasp out. "If he gets out of hand, we can sic Ali on him. The pixie is frigging terrifying when riled!"

I laughed aloud, but mentally concurred. The pixie was definitely a force to be reckoned with, if the way she whipped us through getting the house unpacked was any indication.

We agreed to meet them at Smackwater's around nine and Edward left. While Emmett was cooking, I jumped in the shower and pulled on some clean clothes, a pair of dark wash jeans, button-down chambray shirt, and my beat as hell boots. Presentable and comfortable worked for me. I took a towel to my wet hair and clubbed it back off my face again. I shoved my wallet in my back pocket, grabbed my keys, and headed out to the kitchen.

I'll give Emmett credit; he had mad skills when it came to the grill. The steaks were perfect, potatoes cooked in the microwave, and some veggies steamed on the grill completed the meal. It was all delicious, and I didn't mind giving him the props for it. Thankfully, he wasn't still mad at me for the comments I made to Edward earlier, so we were able to spend the time talking about the heats scheduled for the first round of the tournament. Having registered as early as we did, we didn't have a clear idea of who we were slated to compete against.

After we ate, I loaded the dishwasher and straightened up the kitchen and dining area. I then wandered over to check out Edward's entertainment system. Turning on the CD player, the sultry sounds of Bonnie Raitt drifted out of the surround sound.

_I'll close my eyes, then I won't see  
The love you don't feel when you're holding me  
Morning will come and I'll do what's right  
Just give me till then to give up this fight  
And I will give up this fight._

As memories flooded my senses, I fought the impulse to give into them. I couldn't give in. It had taken too long to dull the pain and pulling off the bandage would only make me bleed again. I pressed stop and leaned my head against the wall as the room fell silent again. I forced the images back into the mental box I kept them stored in.

By the time Emmett came out of his room, I was back in control. Emmett was dressed pretty casual, khaki cargo shorts, a wife beater, and a plaid shirt unbuttoned and rolled up to the elbows. He finished it off with flip flops. The cowboy and the beach bum. We were definitely a pair to draw to.

"You ready, dude? It's 8:30," he asked.

"Yeah, let's hit it. Who's driving, you or me? Or do we both need to drive?"

"Nah, we can take one vehicle. I'll drive if you want."

"Works for me," I replied, "just don't leave me stranded if you pick up some chick."

"Whatever, I've got a bet to win. Let's go. I need a beer or four and some mental stimulation."

I locked the door behind me, I laughed. "Oh, is that what they call it these days? Mental stimulation? Somehow I'm thinking the mind is the last thing getting stimulated."

Emmett looked up the directions and the GPS took us to a little strip mall. Smackwater's took up the whole left side of the strip and while it was off the beaten path, it was obviously a popular place, if the cars alongside and in front were anything to go by. Emmett parked the Jeep off to the side in the only empty space and we headed inside. Alice and Edward were sitting at a double table near the stage. Two other women and a guy around our ages were with them.

Alice saw us across the room and bounded over to bring us to the table, dragging Em by the hand. I trailed behind them, praying Alice wasn't playing matchmaker. Alice introduced us to her friends.

"Tanya, Rachel, and Jacob, this is Emmett, Edward's cousin, and Jasper, their roommate and Emmett's best friend. Guys, the spunky little strawberry-blonde is Tanya, my best friend Bella's cousin. This is Tanya's boyfriend, Jacob, and his sister Rachel. Bella was supposed to join us, too, but she got called into work at the last minute."

We all greeted each other and pulled out a couple of chairs to join the group. The waitress noticed the new faces and came over to get our drink orders. Bella and Rachel had just moved to the area and Jacob and Tanya had driven out too, to help them get settled in. Rachel was attending Eastern Virginia Medical School and Bella was a graduate student majoring in Education at ODU. When they both found out they were going to be in the same area, the decided to live together to cut expenses. Alice hadn't seen the group since the early spring and since it was Jacob and Tanya's last night in town, they all wanted to get together.

The conversation swirled around me, along with the other ambient noise. An Eagles cover band took the stage around ten. They were pretty decent and people began moving to the small dance floor in front of the stage. Emmett had drifted off to talk to a pretty little blonde who had been flirting with him from the bar. Yeah she looked his type, giggling and vapid. Jacob and Tanya went out to dance and Ali leaned over so I could hear her.

"I hope you are having a good time. Edward said you liked music and I was told this group was really good for a cover band."

"They are good. Thanks for including me, Alice. I appreciate it. Shame your friend couldn't make it."

"Well, luckily, with me working in town the next few weeks, I'll have plenty of time to spend with her. We've been friends since high school and attended Washington State together," Alice answered, "I was ecstatic when she called and told me she settled on ODU for her graduate studies. She had several options to pick from, including staying at Washington. I hope you and Emmett get to meet her soon. She is a lot of fun and I'm hoping everyone can be friends, since we're all relatively new to the area."

As she finished, Edward asked her out to dance. I figured I would be polite and ask Rachel and we followed Edward and Alice to the floor. Rachel tried to engage me in small talk, but between the band and the crowd, I could barely hear her. She was a pretty enough girl. Her Native-American heritage showed in her coloring and bone structure. She had long, straight, black hair, dark brown eyes, and flawless skin the color of burnished copper. Although she seemed interested enough in me, I didn't feel the same. Instead, my mind drifted to thoughts of the pretty brunette I had seen twice and who haunted my dreams.

The song ended and I escorted Rachel back to the table. I told Edward to order me another beer and headed to the restroom. I washed my hands and walked back toward the table in time to hear Alice squeal and see her jump up to run and hug someone who had just walked in the door. I sat down and started peeling the label off my beer. Alice walked up behind me.

"Where is Emmett? Oh, never mind. Edward, Jazz, this is my best friend Bella. Bella, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Edward, and his roommate, Jasper."

I turned around to greet the new addition and my voice caught in my throat. It was her, the brunette. She wasn't a dream and she was standing right in front of me.

* * *

_**Chapter title is from the Tom Waits' song of the same name**_

_**The song on Edward's CD is Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me" **_

_**Oh and the song at the bar that Edward and Alice danced to? The Eagles' "New Kid in Town" **_

_**Please check out the Spencer Bell Memorial page. The friends and family of Spencer are doing a fantastic job of bringing awareness and research dollars to Adrenal cancer : **_

_**A group for fans of Going Under has been started on Facebook. There is a great bunch of ladies in there and we are always looking for more friends. Come join us to talk about the story, other fic recs, and just generally hang out.**_

_****__**FB group: **_**_http:/www(.)facebook(.)com/#!/home(.)php?sk=group_145967552120329&ap=1_**

_**Fic rec for this week is by a wonderful lady that I am lucky enough to call friend on Facebook. Check out **__**Love This Pain**__** by Twilightcakes. Do it, you won't regret it!**_

_**Reviews are like a slow dance with Jasper—which is foreplay in my book!**_


	5. Chapter 5: Closing Time

**_As always, I could not do this without my incredible betas, LaMomo, nails233, Willow, Drizzle, and Manda. They take all of my trash and turn it into treasure. Any mistakes you may find are because I don't know when to leave well enough alone. _**

_**I own a Team Jasper shirt and two cowboy hats plus enough Jameson's to keep me adequately sedated to sit long enough to write this for you. Stephenie Meyer owns all the characters, I just give them new toys and a different playground to play in. Do not reproduce any of this without my permission—the storyline is mine and I failed sharing in preschool.**_

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**Closing Time**

"_Where's Emmett? Oh, never mind. Edward, Jazz, this is my best friend Bella. Bella, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend Edward, and his roommate Jasper."_

_I turned around to greet the new addition and my voice caught in my throat. It was her, the brunette. She wasn't a dream and she was standing right in front of me. _

**/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\**

As I twisted in my seat to look up at the woman who'd been haunting me for three days, the world around me slowly melted away. She was dressed in a flowing blue shirt, cinched at her tiny waist with a wide belt, making her look even tinier than she already did. Her impossibly long legs were incased in pencil thin, black jeans that enhanced their length and shapeliness. With her standing next to Alice, I could see that she was as petite as I remembered. I wondered though, how I could've thought her merely pretty.

The smoky lighting in the club didn't do justice to the auburn highlighted hair that drifted past her shoulders in a tangle of loose curls. Up close, I could see the delicate beauty of her face. Her eyes were like warm whiskey, a deep, amber brown, with a hint of fire. As my eyes traveled slowly across her face, a faint blush crept into her cheeks, flushing her with color and lighting her pale skin. Her lips were a soft rose, unadorned by lipstick, the bottom lip slightly fuller, and as I was staring, she drew it between her teeth. When she reached up to tuck a stray wisp of hair away from her face, I was startled out of my perusal.

As I stood to greet Bella, I reached behind me to set down my beer that I'd forgotten in my hand up until then. I missed the table, instead hitting the edge, and the bottle crashed to the floor, shattering and splashing beer all over the place. Alice and Bella reacted quickly, stepping back before they were caught in the shower. I wasn't so lucky and I cursed as the left leg of my pants was saturated. Edward flagged down the waitress to let her know about the mess and pulled out chairs for Bella and Alice to sit down.

I couldn't look up. I murmured my apologies to the waitress and knelt to help her clean up the broken glass. Bella greeted everyone else at the table and her voice melted over my ears like honey. With the mess gone, I had no reason not to sit back down. I quietly pulled out my chair, angling it so I could continue to watch Bella out of the corner of my eye. Just as I thought I'd composed myself enough to talk to her, Emmett drifted back to the table and Alice introduced them.

Sticking out his hand, he greeted her, "Hey! Nice to meet you! Alice says you're new in town, too. That's cool! You gals have to come hang out at the house some time."

Emmett didn't recognize her, and I thanked God that he wasn't very observant. But, as I watched Bella's tiny hand enveloped in Emmett's paw, I had to fight the urge to grab her by the arm and drag her away from him, away from everything around us. I needed to talk to her, but I couldn't find the right words. What was I going to say? I certainly didn't dare tell her that after one brief glimpse, three days ago, she'd been on my mind ever since. I needed to understand why I couldn't get her out of my thoughts, but all I seemed capable of was looking anywhere except at her.

"It's so nice to meet you all," her honeyed voice breathed out. "Alice has told me so much about Edward and his family, I feel like I already know you. She mentioned you surf? I've seen the guys doing that down at the beach. It looks like a lot of fun."

The conversation swirled around me, but I didn't participate. Alice tried to bring me into the conversation but gave up after my murmured monosyllabic answers. I held a new beer in my hand and picked at the label. I desperately wanted to leave, but I'd ridden with Emmett. The band left the stage and a D.J. took over the music. I barely noticed the bodies moving to the beat pulsating out of the speakers or the eventual change in tempo. I felt rather than saw, the others drift back and forth to dance and, with a tightening in my chest, I watched as Emmett led Bella to the dance floor. I didn't even realize I was staring until Edward kicked me under the table. I turned my eyes toward him and he inclined his head toward Rachel. With an almost imperceptible shake of my head, I looked at the dance floor again. The blonde from the bar had walked over and was dancing closely behind Emmett. The bodies on the floor gyrated in time to Katy Perry's "Teenage Dreams." The rest of the table moved to the floor, leaving me alone.

I didn't want to be sitting there when everyone came back. I stood, wondering, not for the first time, why I'd agreed to let Emmett drive. Home was sounding better by the minute. I walked over to talk to the members of the band, who were milling around the end of the bar. The guitar player introduced himself as Dan, and in the course of conversation, we found we had similar taste in music. He told me where the local music stores were and also told me about a few open mic nights that were hosted around town. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my group gathering their things to leave. I thanked him for the information and rejoined them as the house lights came up. I breathed a sigh of relief to be finally leaving.

The group from Seattle headed outside with Alice and Edward right behind them. They were followed by Emmett and the blonde from the bar, who was wrapped around him like gift wrap at Christmas. I trailed behind, hoping no one wanted to linger in the parking lot talking. I exited the club in time to see Alice and Bella hugging. As they broke apart, Alice promised to give her a call soon. Bella said goodnight and Edward also gave her a small hug, but I simply nodded my head. Bella looked puzzled as she turned and walked toward the old truck I'd seen her in at the shopping center. Edward looked at me again, raising his eyebrow. Before he could say anything, I noticed Emmett's Jeep being hooked up to a tow truck.

"Aw hell, you've got to be kidding me!" I groaned, looking around for Emmett. He was playing tonsil hockey with the blonde; leaning against what I hoped was her car. I wondered to myself if this night could get any worse, and I called to get his attention.

"Emmett! Yo, dude, your ride's being hauled off!"

The driver was quick and efficient. While the chains pulled up the Jeep, he adjusted his ball cap and scribbled on a clipboard in his hand. Locking things into place, he pulled himself into the idling truck. Emmett still hadn't moved and I yelled to him again. He looked up at me, dazed, shock registering on his face as my words sunk in.

"Fuck!" Emmett growled out and, setting the blonde aside, stalked over to the tow truck. I was pretty sure Emmett could handle things, but he'd been drinking, and his mouth tended to get his ass into trouble. The last thing we needed was for him to get arrested. Edward whispered something in Alice's ear and joined me as I followed Emmett. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Alice was walking toward Bella's truck.

"What the hell? Dude, I'm right here, do you have to tow my car?" he yelled at the closed window of the tow truck. When the driver didn't look up, Emmett knocked on the window. "Hey, I'm talking here!"

The driver set aside the clipboard he was holding and rolled down the window. It was then I noticed that 'he' was a she, and she looked pretty pissed off about Emmett banging on her window.

"What are you yelling about?" she asked, reaching forward to turn down the Garth Brooks blaring out of the radio. "And, why the hell are you banging on my window?"

The blonde looking back at us was model-perfect. I could see wisps of blonde hair around the edge of the ball cap she wore and a strand curled down across her angular cheekbone. Her blue eyes snapped with energy and fury. She was gorgeous, even if she wasn't my type. From Emmett's reaction to her, she was obviously his. While Emmett stood staring and gawping like a hooked carp, Edward leaned around him.

"Ma'am," he started, "is it absolutely necessary to tow the car? We were just leaving."

"First of all, it's 'Miss.' Save the 'Ma'am' for my mother. Second, it ain't up to me," she answered. "The cops called this in about an hour ago for being parked in a tow away zone. For a cop tow, there are no exceptions. I'm just here to pick it up and take it to impound at the shop. Here's our card. You can call in the morning and make arrangements to pick up your car then."

Emmett rolled his tongue back into his mouth and took the card she was holding out the window.

"Tow away zone? What frigging tow away zone?" he huffed out, then followed the direction of her pointing finger to see the sign we'd both missed when we parked.

Chagrined, Emmett quickly changed tack. Pouring on charm like it was flowing out of an open bottle, he attempted to persuade her to release the Jeep.

"C'mon, honey, I got somewhere to be at seven in the morning. Isn't there anything we can do to take care of this tonight? I'll even throw in a dinner date," he cajoled.

"Save the charm, slick, I ain't interested. The shop is open until five tomorrow night. I'm sure a smart guy like you can figure something out. Enjoy the rest of your evening." With that parting shot, she rolled up the window, put the truck into gear, and drove off.

**/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\**

"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!" Emmett raged. "Now, what the hell do I do?"

"Em! Calm the hell down before someone calls the cops again for disturbing the peace," I told him. "Your boards are at the house. I'll drive to the beach in the morning. We're usually done by two anyway on the first day. Dude, you know this shit. We can't do anything about it now, so let's just go the fuck home."

"And, how the hell do you propose we do that?" he griped and looked around.

I guess the blonde wasn't as interested as Emmett thought, because she and the car were both gone from the parking lot. Edward was standing next to Bella's truck talking to Alice. That and Edward's Volvo were pretty much the only cars left in the lot. Edward noticed us looking and waved his hand for us to hold on a minute.

"Don't be a fucking douche. Edward's not going to leave us stranded here," I answered, a little annoyed at Emmett and his pissy attitude.

Edward leaned in the window of the truck and gave Alice a kiss. Bella pulled out of the parking lot as Edward walked over to us.

"Bella is gonna drop Alice at the hotel on her way home. What do you say we get the hell out of here and head home? You guys have to be up damn early tomorrow," he said, as he got closer to us.

Emmett bitched and moaned all the way back to the house. Interspersed with that were his observations on the tow truck driver.

"That girl was fuck hot, but what a bitch! She probably eats nails and spits out fucking bolts. What the hell is a woman who looks like that doing driving a tow truck anyway? SHEESH! What happened to guys with beer guts and bad teeth?"

"Emmett! Shut up!" Edward and I both shouted at the same time.

Emmett flopped back into the seat and continued to mutter under his breath. Edward glanced at him in the rearview mirror, looked at me, and we both shook our heads. Em could be real frigging clueless sometimes. Other than Emmett's mumbled bitching, the rest of the drive was relatively quiet. Within ten minutes we were home. I got out of the car and pulled my boards from under the house to load them into my truck. Emmett followed, still grumbling to himself. Walking toward us, Edward looked his cousin up and down disgustedly.

"I see now why all the girls you manage to nail are usually dumb as a box of rocks. Cuz, you need to learn that your looks aren't always going to carry the day. With your 'everyone loves me and you're next' attitude, it's no wonder she shot you down. I can't believe you had the balls to ask her out in exchange for not towing your car! What the hell? I'm tired, I'm going to bed."

Edward headed inside the house and left Emmett standing there speechless. When he got to the front door, he stopped and looked back.

"By the way guys, you'll probably be gone before I wake up tomorrow. Good luck in the tournament." And with that he went inside.

**/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\**

Emmett was quiet as we finished securing our boards and headed inside. Emmett and Edward might have been near the same age, but of the two, Edward was definitely more mature. Emmett had to know he was wrong if Edward had bothered to call him out on his shit like that. Saying goodnight, I headed into my room. I plugged my phone in to charge and pulled my shirt over my head. In the confines of my room, I could smell the beer on my clothes. Eau de Landshark wasn't my favorite aftershave and I was tired of smelling like a walking brewery. I had to get a shower.

I walked into the bathroom, turned on the water, and adjusted the temperature. I stripped down while the water warmed up and stepped in. Putting my hands to my hair, I pulled the forgotten hair band out and threw it out to land on the sink counter. I stuck my head under the water pounding out of the showerhead. Memories of the way I'd acted at the club ran through my mind while I lathered my hair. Christ! You'd think I was a fat kid at a buffet, the way I'd stared at Bella. But honestly, how often does the object of a dream walk up to you in real life?

Grabbing the body wash, I squirted some on the washrag hanging from the bath rack. The smell of sandalwood and musk surrounded me as I soaped my torso. I languidly wondered if Bella smelled like the honey and whiskey she reminded me of when I looked at her. _Fuck!_ _Where the hell is this shit coming from? _I thought to myself as I slapped the wall with both hands. It wasn't like I'd been a monk the past two years. Not once, though, did I give a shit what the woman smelled like. To be honest, I barely paid attention to what they looked like. Rarely were they the cause of the wood I was sporting at the time. They were merely a means to an end, when Mary Palmer wasn't cutting it anymore.

Leaning forward, I braced my hands against the tiles and let the water sluice through my hair and down my body. The hot water was doing nothing for the tension that had built up in my neck or that was coursing through the rest of my body. Leaving one hand on the wall, I reached down and grabbed my dick, with thoughts of Bella's legs in those tight-as-fuck jeans running through my mind. I was pathetic. I was beating off to images of a woman I didn't even have the balls to talk to. I couldn't stop. I slid my hand up my length, twisting and rubbing my palm across the tip, then back down again. The soap still left on my body made me slick and my hand continued to slide easily. I gripped harder and I closed my eyes to remember everything I could about Bella. I recalled the way her body gyrated under the pulsating lights and I stroked faster as I thought of her body moving under mine. Leaning my head on the wall, I grabbed my balls with my other hand, massaging and tugging them. My breathing grew ragged as I drew closer to my release. Picturing her tiny hands and wondering how they would feel touching me, stroking me, I pulled on my pulsing erection a few more times and gave a deep guttural groan as I came. Shivering in the now cooling water, I rinsed off and grabbed a towel from behind the door. Stepping out of the shower, I toweled myself off and walked back into my room.

I decided against putting anything on and slid into bed naked, with Bella still on my mind. I had to figure out how to contact her. I knew she and Alice would be hanging out at the house in the future, but I couldn't wait that long. I needed to see her again. There's no way in hell I'd ask Edward to get her number from Alice. The less they knew about this shit the better. I didn't know what was going on; I sure as hell didn't want to have to try to explain it to someone else. And God forbid if Emmett found out. He might've been duly chastised for his shit by the chick from the tow company, but there was no way he'd let this slide. Not after he'd spent the past two years throwing women at me.

I had to get some sleep or I wasn't going to surf for shit in the morning. I hadn't said anything to Emmett, but this would be my last tournament. I wanted to do my best and that wouldn't happen without some shut-eye. Reaching into the nightstand, I grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills I'd carted around with me since I'd left Texas. I hated taking the damn things and rarely did, as the nearly full bottle could attest to, but my brain wouldn't shut down. I popped one in my mouth and swallowed it and then rolled onto my stomach and punched the pillow up under my head. Forcing my eyes closed, I slowed my breathing and let the drugs take over. I didn't know what it was about Bella. _Tomorrow_, I thought to myself, _I'd figure it out tomorrow_. As the fog descended on my mind, the last thoughts I had were of Bella's eyes and I allowed their whiskey warmth to lull me to sleep.

* * *

_**Chapter title is from the Tom Waits' song of the same name**_

_**Please check out the Spencer Bell Memorial page. The friends and family of Spencer are doing a fantastic job of bringing awareness and research dollars to Adrenal cancer : **_

_**A group for fans of Going Under has been started on Facebook. There is a great bunch of ladies in there and we are always looking for more friends. Come join us to talk about the story, other fic recs, and just generally hang out.**_

_****__**FB group: **_**_http:/www(.)facebook(.)com/#!/home(.)php?sk=group_145967552120329&ap=1_**

_**Reviews are almost as satisfying as a shower with Jasper—okay, honestly, probably not, but they still make me smile!**_


	6. Chapter 6: The Ocean Doesn't Want Me

**_As always, I could not do this without my incredible betas and pre-readers:nails233, LaMomo, Willow, Drizzle, and Manda. They take all of my trash and turn it into treasure. Any mistakes you may find are because I don't know when to leave well enough alone. _**

_**Special thanks to hobee1971 and hln3twimom for letting me bounce ideas off them at all hours of the day and night. **_

* * *

**CHAPTER 6**

**The Ocean Doesn't Want Me**

_I didn't know what it was about Bella. Tomorrow, I thought to myself, I would figure it out tomorrow. As the fog descended on my mind, the last thoughts I had were of Bella's eyes and I allowed their whiskey warmth to lull me to sleep. _

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

_You see they never roll the streets up 'cause there's always somethin' goin'  
(Surf City, here we come)  
You know they're either out surfin' or they got a party growin'  
(Surf City, here we come)  
Well, with two swingin' honeys for every guy  
And all you gotta do is just wink your eye_

I groaned, rolling over and grabbing my iPhone to turn off the alarm and flopped back on the bed. Fucking Emmett. I didn't know when he'd changed the damn ringtone again, but I was so going to smack the shit out of him. I laid in bed and let the fog from the sleeping pill fade away. Just as I slid out of bed, Emmett stuck his head in the door.

"Dude! Fucking knock much? Shit!" I griped, grabbing my board shorts out of my dresser and pulling them on. I snagged a faded Padres Island T and dragged it over my head. I dropped my phone into a duffle bag I'd pulled out of the closet.

"What? Like I ain't seen your shit before? Whatevs!" he threw back at me. "I just wanted to let you know what color skins you need today."

"I was just grabbing all of 'em," I said, shoving the long sleeved wet shirts into the duffle I used for the beach.

"Good idea, since you may need them. You got red for longboard, green for shortboard, but that can always change. We aren't in any of the same heats today, by the way. You get a reprieve until I kick your ass."

"Yeah, sure," I snorted, "as if that'll ever happen. You got to advance to beat me, asswipe. We'll see who's still standing tomorrow." I threw the bag over my shoulder and body-checked Emmett as I walked out the door.

Emmett stepped back with a muttered, "Ouch." He headed back to his room while I double-timed it down the steps. I dropped my bag by the front door, headed to the kitchen, and snagged my travel mug out of the cupboard. Bless Edward and his anal-retentive behavior. There was a full, hot pot of coffee waiting for me. I built a cup quickly, checking the time as I leaned back against the counter to take a sip. We still had an hour and a half before report time and neither of us was in the first heat. I opened the fridge and pulled out some eggs. With the way my heats were scheduled, I wasn't going to get a chance to eat before close to one. No way in hell was I gonna make it that long. Emmett came down the stairs and waved at his laptop that sat open on the island.

"Did you look at the heats?" he asked. "The organizers updated the site last night."

"Nah, not yet. I was planning on checking it out while I ate. If not, I will find out at the beach." I grabbed a frying pan from the cupboard and turned on the stove leaving it set on the burner. While the butter melted in the pan, I cracked a couple eggs in a mixing bowl. After the first two, I looked at Emmett and lifted my eyebrow, questioning.

"Eh. Nah, man, I'll pass," he acknowledged, "I'll totally hurl if I eat this early. I'll grab something from a vendor or something at the beach."

Nodding my head, I turned my attention back to the eggs, whipping them with some salt and pepper. I poured them in the pan letting them sizzle and set up. Putting the egg carton back in the fridge, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheddar to fill the omelet with. Using a spatula, I flipped the eggs, piled some cheese on, and put the bag away. Folding the eggs over, I slid them onto a plate. Snagging a fork out of the drawer, I turned off the stove and moved the pan to a cool burner.

I placed my plate on the island and looked over Emmett's shoulder at the ECSC website open on the laptop. He was checking out videos from last year's tournament.

"Any good footage?" I asked, forking a hunk of the omelet into my mouth.

"Yeah, some decent shit. Check this one out," he answered, clicking on another clip. It opened and I recognized Paul lying on his board, facing the beach and camera. Next to him, there was another guy I didn't recognize. From the way they were lined up, it was easy to tell that Paul was second in rotation. Par for the course, that didn't stop him when a large swell moved into view behind them. Paul started paddling immediately and the other guy yelled something, obviously pissed off.

"Dude, Paul and his snaking shit are starting to get real fucking old," Emmett stated, not taking his eyes off the screen.

I shoved the last bite of my eggs in my mouth as the video finished. I stood up to put my plate in the dishwasher and checked my watch again.

"True, but until the organizers do something to penalize him, he's gonna keep doing it. Let's face it; it ain't against the rules to be an asshole." I responded. "We've got forty-five minutes to go about ten miles in summer traffic. We should probably hit it."

Emmett nodded shutting down the laptop. I picked my bag up from next to the door and we headed out. I reached behind me to make sure the door was locked. I pushed on my shades and walked across the yard to the driveway.

As I opened the door of the truck, Emmett spoke again. "Well, watch your back, bro, cause he's surfing in your first heat," he warned. "The dude is frigging sneaky and I don't trust him. It's only a matter of time 'til he carries his shit too far. Quil broke from that group last month after Myrtle Beach. He swears Paul pulled his leash as he was popping. I wouldn't put it past him to pull some shit like that."

"Noted. You're probably right and I didn't discount Quil's story at the time, either. It's dirty shit like that, that takes the fun out of it, you know?"

I reached over to turn up the radio while I waited for a clear spot in traffic to pull out of the driveway. Suddenly Emmett ejected the CD and shoved it and its case into his backpack.

"What the fuck, dude? I want to listen to that!" I bitched, shooting him a dirty look.

"Aw hells no, bud! I won your pussy bet and I'm calling in," he chortled, "I was decidedly female-less this morning when my dick woke up, so time to pay up, dork. Its okay, I'll start you off slow. 3OH!3 or Katy Perry?" He paused as he dug his iPod out of his back pack and plugged it into the XM dock. Scrolling through the playlists, he got a shit eating grin on his face. "Oh, yeah, this is frigging perfect!" he exclaimed, as the sound of a zipper pounded out of my speakers, followed by a techno beat.

"What is this shit?" I asked, just as the chorus started.

_I want to see your dick.  
Get your dicks out. Get your dicks out. Get your dicks out.  
I want to see your dick.  
Get your dicks out._

"Aw c'mon Em! I know you won, but this shit just fucking sucks! I'd rather be locked in a closet with Lance Bass sporting a hard-on than listen to this crap." I punched him in the arm and pulled out onto the road, heading left toward the Oceanfront.

"Fair's fair, dude. You lost, you pay up. We're so going to broaden your horizons this week," he gasped. Emmett's whole body shook from his suppressed laughter and tears dripped from the corners of his eyes. He was really fucking enjoying my pain. What a douche.

"Okay, yeah, you won, but this is NOT fucking music! FUCK! I saw the blonde you were playing tonsil hockey with. You wouldn't have won shit if your damn Jeep wasn't towed!"

Emmett just snorted hitting a button on his iPod. The sounds of 3OH!3's _My First Kiss_ filled the cab and I gave up. I prayed to the God of all that was Holy that Emmett got his frigging Jeep back this afternoon and I didn't have to go through this torture more than absolutely necessary for the next week. That thought reminded me of Emmett's epic shutout by the tow truck driver. Grinning inwardly, I decided to push some of his buttons before we got to the parking lot.

"So what time can you call 'tow girl' to check on the Jeep? Maybe you can ogle her some more this afternoon," I started, as I navigated the traffic and tourists randomly jaywalking toward the beach. "She might be more receptive to you now that she's had time to sleep on your dinner offer."

Emmett turned toward me with an excited gleam in his eyes. "You think? She's hot! I'd tap that shit!"

I rolled my eyes. Baiting Emmett was like shooting fish in a barrel. It was way too easy. I turned into the lot and showed the guard our participant passes. Parking the truck, I threw the keys in my bag and slid out of the cab. As I grabbed my boards, I continued fucking with Emmett.

"Oh, yeah! I definitely think you should follow up on that. She has no idea what she's missing." I was laying it on thick now, but Emmett was too caught up in his delusions of grandeur to hear the sarcasm.

"I'm gonna call over to see about getting the Jeep when we wrap on the beach. Can you drop me off? You don't have to hang around," he asked, following me across the sand to the officials' table while lost in his plans to get the blonde out to dinner.

I nodded my head in acknowledgement and signed in. Hell, it might be worth hanging around the auto shop to see how this played out. I wasn't worried about 'tow girl'. I was pretty sure she could handle Emmett, and it wouldn't hurt him to have his ego knocked down a peg or two.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

Emmett and I found a clear place to stash our gear and I grabbed the red skin I needed out of the bag. I was surfing in the second longboard heat and I needed to be on deck fifteen minutes after the first guys headed out. Emmett dropped his stuff, too. He was surfing in the heat immediately following mine. I stood in front of my planted boards, arms crossed on my chest, watching the first set hit the surf. As they paddled out, I recognized a couple of the surfers we had been competing against all summer. The wave sets were running high. A dormant tropical storm a few hundred miles out was kicking up the surf, making it perfect for long rides and lots of moves. Scores were going to be high today.

ECSC used a modified double elimination method. In the first round, each heat consisted of five surfers, with twenty minutes to a heat. Four heats were scheduled for Masters level long- and shortboards. The two highest scorers from each heat would move on to the second round tomorrow, creating two heats of four, but each heat would surf twice. The four highest combined scores would move on to the finals on Saturday. All four surfers would compete in two sets and placement would be determined by the average. Grand prize was $10,000 for both long- and shortboard.

Emmett and I surfed both, but I preferred longboards, while he liked shortboards better. That usually guaranteed we weren't competing against each other in the finals. It had happened twice this summer though, longboards in Myrtle Beach, shortboards at Mavericks. We each won our preference, with the other coming in second. In both of those events, Paul ended up third and royally pissed off.

Emmett nudged my shoulder and nodded off to the right. I looked over to see Paul and his sycophants. The beach was still relatively quiet, but they would've been easy to spot in a crowd. They were all of Native descent; well over six feet tall, with matching tribal tattoos on their shoulders and the same close cropped black hair. Paul stared taciturnly at the water while the others raucously catcalled the few girls lounging on towels nearby. Noticing us observing them, Paul barked something under his breath and the others settled down. Fucking sheep. None of them could think for themselves and slavishly doted on Paul's every word. It would be a pleasure to take him down a few notches. I smirked looking away, hoping I was the one to do it.

The whistle blew for the second heat to assemble at the shoreline. Emmett fist-bumped me and quietly wished me luck, with an added warning to watch my back. I knew he'd be watching closely from the shore, even though anything underhanded was hard to prove. I made sure to line up in the middle of the pack, knowing Paul would jump to the front. So fucking predictable. I double-checked my leash. A lot of guys didn't use them, but I'd paid too much for my custom boards to take a chance of one floating out to sea.

The last surfer from the first heat managed to drop into his set before the horn sounded. He would be able to finish the run to add to his score. The surf was hard and high. There had already been one decent pipe during the first heat, not something typically seen at this competition. Unfortunately, the guy who caught it didn't know how to take advantage of it. It would be interesting to see how he scored when I came back to the beach after my heat. We all headed into the water, starting to paddle out to the start buoy. I duck-dived a couple of large breakers. The water was cool, even for August, underscoring the tide shifts from the tropical storm swirling off the coast. As I turned out at the buoy and settled in third position, I noticed the crowd beginning to thicken on the beach. By the time we finished up this afternoon, the beachfront would be packed with tourists and locals, most of them female. Emmett would miss a golden opportunity, since we had to go get the Jeep.

I heard the starting gun sound and looked over my shoulder at the wave set moving in. The first one looked good and Paul started paddling, popping up as he dropped into the wave. He was a damn good surfer, as evidenced by the way he carved the waves. If he wasn't so fucking arrogant, it would be a lot easier to admire his skills. Mostly, though, I just wanted to knock the chip off his shoulder.

The second guy, Tyler, started paddling as soon as Paul turned out at the end of his first run. Once Tyler was clear, I slid out to wait for my wave. I looked back over my shoulder to see a huge set moving in. If I caught the first one, the guy behind me should have enough time to catch one in the same set.

The minute Tyler put his hand down to stall and turn out, I started paddling. Popping up on the shoulder, I dropped into the wave. I pumped the wave to gain speed, then started carving, cutting back several times and going aerial off the crest. The wave was huge and started to pipe. I whipped a sharp cutback into the face of the wave, dropping me right into the pipeline. I tubed the wave, pumping to keep my speed ahead of the break and riding it out within a couple feet of shore before I had to stall and turn out. I knew I'd nailed the run. Emmett screaming from the beach only confirmed it.

I paddled back out and lined up for my next run. Paul was griping at the guy in front of him for not picking up a set that was moving through. The guy was local and obviously knew his surf. The waves were barely cresting before breaking. Nothing good would have come off of them. The following set looked tight, and the local took off, popping immediately. Paul and Tyler followed pretty quickly. All three of them had mediocre runs. The local would pull a second run, but I seriously doubted any of us were going to squeeze in a third. Other than his bitching, Paul seemed to be on good behavior. Shortboards were more his speed, though. Once he got in his comfort zone, the attitude would probably change.

As I hit the beach on my second run, I heard the five minute whistle blow. I knew a third run was definitely out of the question. Rather than paddle back out for nothing, I snagged my board and pushed it in front of me, body boarding in. Emmett met me at the shoreline and directed my attention back out to the start buoy. The local had turned in and was paddling to gain speed to pop up. The horn blew after the local's second cutback, effectively ending the heat. Paul's swearing could be heard on the beach and I seriously hoped the officials did something about it. ECSC was promoted as family fun. I knew that, if I were a parent, I sure as shit wouldn't want my kids to hear the stream of profanities pouring out of Paul's mouth.

As Emmett headed out, he told me to go check the shortboard heats lineup. Apparently, the tournament organizers had had to make some changes. It was hot in the sun, so I pulled my skin shirt over my head and dropped it and my board back off with our other shit. I grabbed my shades to protect my eyes against the sun bouncing off the water. Emmett was lined up first, so I watched his run before heading over to the tally boards. He nailed his run and I could see the judges nodding approvingly. If my scores panned out the way I thought they would, there was a good chance Emmett and I could face-off the next day in the second round.

I had been moved from the second to first heat in short boards, while Paul was still in the second, and Emmett in the third. I could already see how that was going to pan out, based on who we were surfing against. The only names I was unsure about were some of the locals listed in each of our heats. They were wild cards; we never knew how they surfed. I also noticed two of the people from the tournament committee speaking with Paul. From the way the muscles in his jaw were clenching, I was pretty sure he was getting reamed over his outburst on the water. I was suddenly very glad I wouldn't be surfing against him again today.

I grabbed a couple bottles of water from the organizers' tent and headed back to the shoreline. I got there just in time to see Emmett drop in to his second wave. He pumped the board up the crest, going aerial and cutting back off the shoulder. He whipped the board through the cutback, dropping a total 180 off the top. He walked the board, popping the nose out of the water to snag the fin into the wave and whip the cut even tighter. It still amazed me how someone as big as Emmett was so fluid on a surfboard. It was even more glaringly in contrast when he surfed shortboards.

If the sighs and giggles from the girls standing slightly behind me were any indication, I wasn't the only one admiring Emmett, albeit for different reasons.

"Look at the 'V' dipping into his shorts," one sighed, "it looks so promising!'

Her friend sighed too, adding, "I know, right? I'm pretty sure I saw dimples at the top of his ass, too. I wonder if he has a girlfriend."

"It shouldn't matter, you have a boyfriend," the first girl retorted. "Leave some for the rest of us! Besides, he's probably only in town for a few days, anyway. That relationship would never go anywhere."

I smiled to myself hearing them and then had to bite back a laugh at the second girl's retort.

"Bitch, please! Trey is out of town for two weeks with his buddies. What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

I couldn't help myself; I had to turn to see what they looked like. Both petite and thin to the point of anorexia, they were sporting string bikinis that barely covered them. It was irrelevant really. There wasn't anything to cover. They looked hard; too, like life had dealt them a shit hand and it had affected their personality. Considering the second girl's statement, it wasn't hard to believe that they'd been around the block a time or two. Even hammered out of his mind, Emmett would pass on them both.

I turned back around, but not before they noticed me looking. They leaned their heads together to whisper quietly, but I heard the words 'dangerous' and 'intense' float out of their little huddle. Once again, I had managed to scare off some women, although this time it was definitely not a hardship. I thought back to last night and Bella as I cracked open one of the bottles of water. As I chugged half of it down, I remembered how she stared at me, seeming more intrigued than disturbed. Maybe I hadn't made a complete ass of myself after all.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

When Emmett exited the water, I told him about the changes in the schedule, handing him the other bottle of water. He nodded and then trotted off to grab something to eat. The organizers had set up grills around their tent and the aroma of grilling hot dog and burgers filled the air. A local radio station had also showed up, driving their van right down to the tent and running up a station feed and boom speaker. Old surf music, as well as recent summer hits, rolled out, enveloping the crowd. I saw some young kids dancing off to the side and smiled a little. They didn't have a care in the world. I hoped it stayed that way for them.

The announcer called out the names of those advancing to the second round. As I expected, Emmett, Paul, and I were all on the list. They posted the scores and also announced that the heat totals and scores would be available online later that afternoon for anyone interested, along with the schedule for the next day. Not only had I advanced, I was the current standings leader, too.

Paul was only seven-tenths of a point behind me and Emmett was only two full points down from him. An announcement was also made that the first heat for shortboards would start in ten minutes.

I caught Emmett's attention and inclined my head toward our stuff. He nodded and continued piling food on his plate. I headed back to the pile of clothes, towels and boards. I swapped my red skin for the green one I needed for my next heat and pulled the shortboard out of the sand. Walking to the water's edge, I noticed that the wave sets were becoming erratic. I really hoped the water wouldn't go flat before we wrapped up for the day.

The starting horn blew and I darted into the water, dropping on my board on a dead run. Paddling furiously, I made the buoy first. My timing was dead on. Turning into position, the wind picked up and a fresh set of waves began rolling in. Catching the first one, I popped up near the back of the board, causing it to tail-slide off the crest. It put me in the perfect position to fade the wave as I faced the breaker, then carving around to surf it out facing toward the calmer water ahead of the crest. I pulled the run-off and was able to pick up two more waves, earning myself more results scored in the final tabulation. When I came in, Emmett said my unofficial scores had me solidly in the lead for my heat.

Paul surfed two great runs, but couldn't squeeze in a third. Emmett's third start position pretty much guaranteed the same for him. Both won their respective heats, though, advancing all of us to the next round. Paul was a half a point ahead of me and Emmett was a full five points higher than that. Thank God the scores reset for tomorrow's round. Otherwise, I had no chance against Emmett's skills.

The two gigglers from earlier were back again and doing everything in their power to catch Emmett's eyes. He was obviously not interested and was becoming more uncomfortable as he overheard parts of their conversation. He wouldn't repeat what he heard, but after what I'd overheard earlier, I could only imagine what was going on in their puerile minds.

After the final announcements for the Masters were made, I suggested to Emmett we get on our way to the auto shop. He agreed and we gathered up our shit. On the way to the auto shop, Emmett and I analyzed all the runs we had seen. As much as it pained both of us to admit it, there was no denying that Paul was the real deal. A year younger than us and only in his second year on the tour, it was obvious he'd be a long-term figure in the sport for years to come.

Emmett continued to hold my CD hostage and looked for more tunes on his iPod to destroy my eardrums with. Sitting in stoic silence, I found myself fervently praying Emmett didn't piss 'tow girl' off. I needed her around just so that Emmett would be riding with me as little as possible.

I pulled the truck up in front of the shop door. R & R Towing and Automotive Repairs. Abnormally curious, Emmett began speculating on what the "Rs" might stand for.

"You think of anything, Jas?" he asked. "I mean, she's driving a tow truck and I keep coming up with all these soft feminine names. Rhonda? Roberta? They seem tough enough. I'm fairly certain there ain't an ounce of softness left in her. Chick's a real ballbreaker, you know? Whatya think?" he asked again.

"You're making this complicated. You're here to pick up your ride and ask a pretty girl out on a date. You have done it thousands of times. Just go with it," I answered. "Dude, I'm telling you, just be your normal, charming self. Stop over-thinking shit."

Considering how keyed-up Emmett was getting, I figured I'd better at least offer to stay. He declined my invitation and I drove off when he entered the shop.

* * *

_**Chapter title is from the Tom Waits song of the same name. **_

_**Surf City by Jan and Dean **__**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=AxMyFe81FUg**_

_**I Wanna See your Dick by Killola http:/www(dot)youtube.(dot)com/watch?v=jl8jSOAwnpM**_

_**My First Kiss by 3Oh!3 http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=AYC2FUutdKA**_

_**Please check out the Spencer Bell Memorial page. The friends and family of Spencer are doing a fantastic job of bringing awareness and research dollars to Adrenal cancer: http:/www(.)spencerbellmemorial(**_**.)_com_**

_**A group for fans of Going Under has been started on Facebook. There is a great bunch of ladies in there and we are always looking for more friends. Come join us to talk about the story, other fic recs, and just generally hang out.**_

_**FB group: ****http:/www(.)facebook(.)com/#!sk=group_145967552120329&ap=1**_

_**Fic rec: Check out Conversations with My Killer by OracleVas It is Jasperlicious! **_

_**Reviews are like a day at the beach with Jasper—they make me feel warm inside and out!**_


	7. Chapter 7: Emotional Weather Report

_**As always, I could not do this without my incredible betas and readers: Nails233, Lamomo, Drizzle, Willow, cherrypie019, and hln3twimom. They take all of my trash and turn it into treasure. Special thanks to my Twifey Melissa and #1 picth00r Kristie—you ladies make my words pretty to look at! A super special shoutout to my girls who WC with me and kept me really focused the past few days. **_

_**I own a copy of Eclipse on DVD, a set of New Moon trivia cards, and an awesome collection of fanart for this story. I DO not own the rights to any of the songs referenced in the story, just the mp3 files they came from. Stephenie Meyer owns all the characters but the plotlines and situations are mine. If I owned Jasper, I would be taking care of his sunburn properly ;-). **_

_**Please do not reproduce, translate, caress, or fondle my story inappropriately in any way or I'll tell Paul you painted his surfboard pink.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 7**

**Emotional Weather Report**

"_You're making this complicated. You're here to pick up your ride and ask a pretty girl out on a date. You've done it thousands of times. Just go with it," I answered. "Dude, I'm telling you, just be your normal, charming self. Stop over-thinking shit."_

_Considering how keyed-up Emmett was getting, I figured I'd better at least offer to stay. He declined my invitation and I drove off as he entered the shop. _

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

The house was empty when I got back. I was starving and exhausted. Unlike Emmett, partying all night before a competition wasn't my thing. That, coupled with my disjointed sleep and the invading dreams of Bella lately, had me completely worn down. Looking longingly at the fridge, I huffed out a sigh and headed up to my room. As tempting as it'd be to make something to eat and go to sleep for a few hours, I knew I needed a shower first. My skin felt stiff from the combination of sun, surf, and sand. I set the shower to lukewarm and climbed in, still in my board shorts. Letting the water run over me, I just stood leaning against the wall, barely awake. Once the gritty feeling washed from my body, I stepped out of the board shorts, rinsing them again, and hanging them from the shower head. I squirted the shampoo directly on my hair, washing, and rinsing twice to remove all the sand and salt. Turning my back into the water, I felt a stinging sensation on my shoulder blades. The sun had been hot and I knew for certain that I was slightly burnt across my shoulders and lower back, right above the waistband of my shorts. A little sunburn was normal, and I didn't let it bother me too much. I soaped up and rinsed off, careful not to drag the cloth too hard across my tender skin. I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to reach all of the burn, either, to apply aloe lotion.

_Well, maybe if you could've gotten your foot out of your mouth and talked to Bella last night, you might have had at least the opportunity to ask for her help._

Great! Now my own sub-conscious was giving me grief over my mental fail last night. The harder I tried to push it away though, the more enticing the idea of Bella's little hands rubbing lotion on my back became. I groaned at the thought of her fingers soothingly flittering over my shoulders, moving down my back, and sliding across my hips. I reached over and twisted the shower to cold. My body jumped at the sudden shock and the rising problem quickly fell, but not without a spasm of regret ghosting through my mind. Shit! Running my hand through my dripping hair, I resolved to ask Alice about Bella the next time I saw her. With that decided, I reached out and grabbed the towel from the back of the door with one hand while flipping the shower off with the other.

Between the sunburn and the sudden cold shower, I was chilled when I walked in my room. I pulled on boxer-briefs and a loose pair of sweats. I only bothered with the underwear in case Alice came over. There was no need to shock the roommate's girlfriend, and blatant exhibitionism wasn't really my thing, anyway. The sweats were luckily loose, riding low on my hips and not hitting up against the tender burn on my back. I opened the lotion and applied it to my shoulders and reached around behind me as well as I could to get to the dark red line of burn on fresh skin. I knew I needed to throw on a shirt, but opted for a loose hoodie. I popped a couple pain relievers and stumbled out to the kitchen to find some food to put in my now loudly grumbling stomach.

I opened the fridge, looking for something quick to eat. It looked like Edward had thought ahead and been to the grocery store. Not only was there a new twelve pack of Landshark, but all the fixings for a decent sandwich were there, too, including a head of lettuce and tomatoes. I pulled everything out, grabbed the bread off the counter, a bag of chips, and a plate out of the cupboards. After building a sandwich Quizno's would be proud of; I put the food away and snagged a beer. Picking up my plate in the other hand, I strolled around the island over to the sofa and carefully flopped into the corner. I balanced the plate on my leg, set the beer on a coaster, and used the remote to turn on the TV. Finding an old John Hughes flick just coming on, I settled back to eat while laughing at the ridiculous antics of Wyatt and Gary in "Weird Science."

I must have dozed off. One minute, Kelly LeBrock was walking out of the shower, the next Emmett was whooping as he walked in the door and Lindsay Lohan was on TV, strutting with a group of vapid girls across a school campus.

"WooHoo! I got a date for Sunday night!" Emmett chortled, grabbing a beer out of the fridge. I flicked off the TV and turned to look at him.

"Dude, you were so right! I just relaxed and acted myself and she agreed to go out with me."

"Really? Just like that?" I asked, "She must not get out much."

"Aw fuck you, Jas! I just turned on the charm and she was eating out of my hand."

I simply stared at him, knowing he was full of shit and that the longer I was quiet, the sooner he'd crack. I didn't have to wait long.

"Well, okay. So yeah, I might've stuck my foot in my mouth a bit first, but she eventually agreed to go out with me."

Still quiet, I continued to look at Emmett inquisitively, knowing that there was no way that was the end of the story.

"Yeah, so I did kind of offend her when I asked to see her boss after we got in a disagreement about whether or not she should've towed my car. By the way, her name is Rosalie and she's apparently one of the 'R's' in 'R & R.' She also thinks I'm a spoiled rich kid. I don't really act like that, do I?" he asked, looking a little concerned over what my answer might be.

I pushed myself up off the sofa, picking up the empty bottle and plate. I walked over to the kitchen, where Emmett was leaning against the island, nervously picking at the label on his bottle. Thinking carefully about the words to use, I borrowed time while washing off my plate and utensils from my lunch.

"Em, I don't think you're a spoiled rich kid," I began, turning to face him, "I do think, though, that you're so used to having money that you figure it will solve almost any problem if you throw enough at it. Hell, you, me, Edward, we all have had more than enough money our entire lives. It's easy to get used to not having to worry about anything monetary," I paused thoughtfully, and then continued, "And I guess, for someone who's had to work for everything they have, it might make you look a little superficial until someone gets to know you."

Emmett nodded, but I wasn't really sure he got where I was coming from. He's such a genuinely nice guy with a heart of gold, I always worried about him being taken advantage of. Luckily for him, he didn't brag about the money he had and we were never anywhere long enough for someone to find out. I was willing to give Rosalie the benefit of doubt, but I'd be watching closely.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

After Emmett and I talked, I went to my room to lie down for a little while. I didn't want to sleep too long, but right now I was barely functioning. I closed the door and pulled my iPod out. Scrolling to a playlist full of Eagles classics, I laid it on the nightstand. I dropped the hoodie on the floor, and pulling up the quilt at the foot of the bed, I laid down on my stomach. Before the chorus of 'New Kid in Town' began, I was out like a light.

I woke up a few hours later to the faint sounds of the TV and murmured voices. The playlist had long since ended and my iPod was silent. I'd rolled onto my back and it hurt like hell. Gingerly rolling to my side, I got out of bed and headed into the bathroom to take a piss. Washing my hands, I splashed some cold water on my face to chase the sleep from my eyes. I applied more lotion to my shoulders and back. I still felt a little too sore and cold for a t-shirt, so I put the hoodie back on, zipping it up part way. Straightening the quilt, I walked downstairs to see what we were scrounging up for dinner.

Reaching the bottom step, I heard the back door slide open and the smell of grilling chicken drifted in. I had no idea who was cooking, but it smelled amazing. Edward rounded the corner and we startled each other.

"Oh shit" he yelped, "I thought you were still sleeping! I was coming to see if you wanted to eat or if you planned on sleeping through the night."

"If the chicken I smell is dinner," I said, "I'm damn glad I woke up and real glad you were gonna wake me. Who's cooking?"

Edward rubbed the back of his neck, and then answered, "Well, Alice dropped by. She has to head up to Richmond to meet with Mom in the morning, and then be back on site here in Virginia Beach by early afternoon. She offered to cook dinner. I hope you don't mind her being here."

"No, not at all, especially if she's cooking," I sniffed the air again, "I don't know what she's doing to that chicken, but it's mouthwatering."

Edward and I walked back out to the deck. It was warm, probably too warm for the hoodie, but the ocean breeze was cool and the sun would be setting soon. With the heat from the sunburn making me shiver feverishly, I was comfortable. Emmett was actually working the grill, while Alice flitted with some side dishes at the table. Alice came over to give me a hug and I winced slightly at the pressure on my back.

"Are you okay Jasper? Were you hurt?" she asked.

Emmett looked over. "Dude, I didn't see you wipeout. What's up?"

"No, I'm not hurt; just have a little bit of sunburn that's tender." Changing the subject, I looked down at Alice. "What did you season the chicken with? It smells delicious."

"Oh, nothing fancy. I just marinated it in some tequila, lime juice, and minced garlic for an hour or so. Edward had it a couple times over the summer. I hope you guys like it."

I laughed out loud. "Alice, we can all barely cook. I'm sure it'll be great. Besides, you've seen Emmett eat. So long as it doesn't walk off his plate, he'll be thrilled with anything."

Emmett flipped me off and went back to turning over the grilling chicken. "Make yourself useful, Whitlock, since you didn't help with dinner. Go grab me another beer."

I checked drinks for everyone and carried them back out from the kitchen. Emmett placed the finished chicken on a serving dish while Edward and Alice waited at the table. I passed out the drinks, setting Em's beer near his plate.

Dinner was as delicious as it smelled. Alice was a little embarrassed by all the praise we heaped on her, but it was well-deserved. We talked about the results of today's competition and Alice wished us luck for the next day. She also promised that if we advanced, shed be on the beach cheering for us on Saturday. Emmett asked her if she'd be available to go with him to shop for clothes to wear on Sunday and she readily agreed. Apparently Rosalie had made some specific stipulations about their date and he needed something appropriate. Edward and I ribbed him about being whipped before he'd ever even been out with her and we were not so politely told to fuck off.

When we finished eating, I offered to clean up. It was only fair. I hadn't done anything to contribute to the meal. I stood to clear the plates and Alice grabbed the serving bowls and followed me into the house. While I rinsed things and loaded them into the dishwasher, Alice made a pot of coffee. She stayed busy gathering up cups, creamer, and sugar while it brewed. Clearing my throat, I tiptoed around the subject of Bella.

"Your friends from back home seemed real nice, Alice," I began, "Have ya'll been friends a long time?" When I looked up to Alice's quizzical look, I recalled the conversation from the night before. _Oh yeah, that's brilliant, Jasper. Alice already told you last night that they've been friends since high school. Now she not only thinks you're rude, but ignorant as well. Don't expect her to throw you a bone if you can't even keep up a steady stream of rational conversation._

Alice stilled her busy hands for a moment, and then turned slightly toward me. "Jasper, I won't pretend to know you well, having just met you Monday, but I'm a fairly good judge of people by observing them. That's a loaded question, you and I both know it, and I certainly never pictured you for a coward. You completely shut down when Bella arrived last night. Now, we can either play through this roundabout conversation, dancing around what you really want to know but are too nervous to ask, or we can just cut straight to the chase. It's your choice. Just let me know, though, so I know whether or not to give you real answers or window dressing." When she finished her little speech, Alice crossed her arms across her chest and leaned against the counter expectantly.

"Uhm, okay. Wow," I stuttered. "Edward wasn't bullshitting when he called you perceptive, darlin'." I swallowed hard and began again, "The thing is, I don't know what I want to know or even why I want to know it. And to complicate things, I have to tell you that I'd seen Bella before last night, but she hadn't seen me. Emmett saw her too, but apparently didn't make the connection, and Edward doesn't know about the other times," the words tumbled out of my mouth in a jumbled mess. I knew I was rambling and most of this probably wasn't making any sense to Alice. It wasn't my nature to give people personal information, especially someone I'd only known a few days, but something about Alice made me certain that anything I conveyed would be safe with her.

"Jas, I'll be honest, I'm a little confused. Perhaps it'd be best if you start at the beginning and fill me in. Then, once I'm up to speed, we can move forward."

So that's exactly what I did. Taking a deep breath, I started opening up to Alice, talking without looking her in the eye. I didn't give her the whole story about Galveston. I wasn't ready to see the censure in her eyes, or provide her with fodder to keep me away from her best friend. I just glossed over a past relationship that went bad, causing me to avoid any further attachment with single women, even friendship, since then. I told her about seeing Bella from a distance, and how Bella had been on my mind since then, without going into details of those thoughts. Then, I explained what caused my reaction at the club the night before. The shock and surprise of seeing a dream standing in front of me, as well as the ongoing confusion of having been dreaming about Bella in the first place, had completely thrown me for a loop. When I finished, I exhaled deeply and ran my hands through my hair, then shoved them into the pockets of my hoodie. I looked at the ground, not wanting to see Alice's expression. She probably thought I was pathetic.

"Well," I sensed her moving around the island toward me. I felt her hand gently touch my arm, soothing the muscles bunched from clenching my fists in my pockets. "Jas, look at me."

Shuddering slightly, I looked up and met Alice's direct gaze. "Give me a minute to take this coffee out to Edward and Emmett, and then we can talk, okay? Otherwise, one of them is going to come in here and I get the feeling that's the last thing you want right now. I'll ask Edward to keep Emmett distracted. Go sit down and I will be right back." I nodded when she finished. Edward's pixie was a gem and I was uncommonly relieved that I had talked to her.

I moved over to the sofa. Stacking the throw pillows in the corner, I sunk into them and stretched my feet out to rest them on the edge of the coffee table. Leaning my head back, I closed my eyes and tried to let my mind go blank. Mentioning Galveston, even without the details, was the closest I'd come to telling any of my new friends about my life before I met them. Even Emmett, close as we were, didn't know and being the kind of guy he is, he had never asked either.

I heard the door slide open and closed and then the sounds of someone making a cup of coffee. "Jas," Alice asked inquisitively so I turned to look at her. "Do you want some coffee while I'm getting mine?" I shook my head and set my head back until I felt the cushions at the other end of the sofa shift slightly when Alice joined me. Her coffee cup clinked as she set it down on the table and the sofa moved again as she settled against the back.

"Now," she began, "I suppose the first thing I need to ask is, why Bella? You've never talked to her, and prior to last night, you'd only seen her from a distance. You know she's more than a pretty face, right?"

I kept my eyes closed while I thought of how to answer her questions. My jaw flexed as I bit down to keep from saying the wrong thing. Alice sat quietly patient, while I mulled over my response. Lifting my head and opening my eyes, I met hers.

"I don't know 'Why Bella', Ali." Letting my eyes drift away from hers, I continued, "And yes, I know she's more than a pretty face. When I saw her, I just wanted to talk to her, get to know her. She seemed peaceful and I was drawn to her peace. It's something I haven't felt for a long time. I want to find it, but I'm not sure I'm capable of it nor if I even deserve it."

Letting my breath out in a small huff, I began picking at a loose thread on the cuff of my jacket. In the lingering silence, I wondered if I'd trusted too much to someone I barely knew.

"Jasper, I don't know what your story is, what makes you feel this way, and I'm not going to push you. If and when you are ready, your friends, including me, will be here for you. I do know, though, that to find true peace, you need to forgive yourself for whatever you believe makes you unworthy. I also know, too, that you can never really have a friend until you can be a friend, and true, lasting friendship requires trusting your friends to keep your secrets. Anything we talk about is between the two of us. I get the feeling that you're worried about that and I understand."

The sofa shifted again as Alice leaned closer, laying her hand over my still plucking fingers and curling her tiny fingers around them. I looked up into her kind eyes and saw the truth of her words. I had found friends I could trust in Edward and Emmett, and by extension, Alice.

"Tell me about your friend," I entreated, "tell me about Bella. Where does her peace come from? "

"Just like your story is yours to tell, so is Bella's, Jas. I can tell you about our friendship, though. I met Bella when we were both almost seventeen, and starting our junior year of high school. We were both the new kids in town and naturally drifted together, sharing a lot of the same classes. My parents had just divorced and my mom relocated from Seattle to Forks, wanting a quieter environment to raise me in. Bella's dad, Charlie, had grown up in Forks before he joined the Army. He'd applied for the position of Chief of Police and had just been hired. He and Bella's mom, Renee, are like second parents to me. My mom worked in Seattle and the commute made her days long. Rather than being alone a lot, I ended up spending all my free time at Bella's."

"When we graduated high school, we both went to UW, and then I transferred to the Chicago Art Institute for our last two years of college. Even then, we still spent a lot of time talking and emailing, and we always saw each other during holiday breaks. It was Bella who encouraged me to come out East to find a design firm to work for since it would be closer to New York and the fashion industry. She's a great friend, almost like a sister. She's always willing to listen and not judge or try to solve my problems unless I ask her to help. I couldn't have found a better best friend if I had made her myself."

I shook my head. Bella sounded too good to be true. As nervous as I was about it, I wanted to be Bella's friend, whatever that might mean. I said as much to Alice.

"Would Bella even want to spend time with someone like me?" I asked,. "I'd like to be her friend, if that's possible."

"I suppose that's for you and Bella to figure out, isn't it? I do know this, you can't be friends if you won't even talk to her, and that's as good a place to start as any. Why don't we check with Edward and see about maybe all of us getting together for dinner and play pool or something next week? I know you'll be busy all this weekend with the tournament."

"Well, uh, do you think she might come to the tournament on Saturday, you know, if I or Emmett make the finals?" I suggested. "Then we could all just kinda hang out afterwards. I don't want it to seem like a date."

Alice giggled and patted me on the knee. "I'll make you a deal. You make the finals and I'll call Bella and invite her to the beach for Saturday. After that, you're on your own. You may find, after talking to her that she's a vapid twit. Although," she said, laughing, "I seriously doubt that! Now, let me go spend some time with my boyfriend before I have to get on the road. I'll see you guys probably tomorrow night, and I expect to hear that you made the finals. Good luck tomorrow."

With that, she stood up and leaned down to give me a hug. Pressing a light kiss to my cheek, she whispered, "Trust in fate, Jasper, everything is going to work out in its own time. And remember, a burden shared is a burden halved. Your friends are here for you." I hugged her back and told her to drive safely.

My conversation with Alice had given me a lot to think about. For the first time since everything that had happened in Galveston, I wanted to share it with someone. And in that moment, I knew I'd found part of what had been missing from my life. Even with all my mistakes and bad decisions, I'd found true friends.

I also thought about Alice and Bella's friendship and Alice's obvious love for her best friend. The warmth I felt from Alice talking about her made me want to know Bella better for myself. Could I do that, could I be her friend? I didn't know, but I was sure as hell going to give it a try. I needed to let the past go and find a way to move on with my life. Letting people in as friends was a start.

* * *

_**Chapter title is from the Tom Waits song of the same name. **_

_**New Kid in Town by the Eagles—classic shiz-check it out if you don't know it—**_ _**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=W444_V7ETnA**_

_**Please check out the Spencer Bell Memorial page and remember him fondly. 4 years ago the world lost a genius it did not even know it had. The friends and family of Spencer are doing a fantastic job of bringing awareness and research dollars to Adrenal cancer : www(dot)spencerbellmemorial(dot)com**_

_**Fic rec: I Caught Fire by glitteratiglue—Jasper in London! Omnomnom**_

_**Reviews are like rubbing lotion on Jackson, you never know where it might get you! **_


	8. Chapter 8: Strange Weather

_**Love and kisses and bewb gropes to my amazing beta/pre-reader team: LaMomo, nails 233, Willow, Manda, and Heidi. They keep me on track and make sure I make sense. Any errors are mine, cause I don't know when to leave well enough alone.**_

_**I own two little girls who argue daily about whether Team Jacob or Team Edward is better. But, smart girls that they are, they know that Jasper is all Mommy's! Stephenie Meyer owns all the characters but the plotlines and situations are mine. If I owned Jasper, I would live my life under the mistletoe with only him. **_

_**Please do not reproduce, translate, caress, or fondle my story inappropriately in any way or I'll let the pixie know that your sofa cushions do not coordinate with your drapes.**_

* * *

Chapter 8

Strange Weather

_Could I do that, could I be her friend? I didn't know, but I was sure as hell going to give it a try. I needed to let the past go and find a way to move on with my life. Letting people in as friends was a start._

_-XXX-_

_Red…Orange…Flickering…Devouring… _

_The fire burned out of control. The little red convertible was enveloped in flames and the firemen's efforts were ineffective. I tried to move closer, but someone grabbed my arm and pulled me back. The heat from the fire hung in the air, as stifling as the billowing smoke that choked out the light from the moon. The flames grew higher, licking at the drought-dry trees that the car had careened into. A second fire hose was directed at the dried grass and timber, in an effort to prevent the wildfire that was building. I screamed her name, over and over, as the police officers tried to convince my mind what my heart already knew. Maria was gone and I had killed her._

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

Sitting up, I gasped for air, as if still breathing through the choking smoke of that night. Scrubbing my hands over my face, I took several cleansing breaths to clear the images from my mind. Opening my eyes in the darkened room, I untangled my legs from the sheets, sat on the edge of the bed, and dropped my head into my hands. As the sobs overtook me again, I fisted my hands in my hair to keep from completely falling apart. I don't know how long I sat there, tears dropping onto my sweatpants, leaving wet dark spots - the same deep blemishes I carried in my heart.

Once I'd cried myself out, I shakily got to my feet and walked into the bathroom for a glass of water. Carrying it with me back to the bedroom, I set it on the nightstand and checked my iPhone. It was only four am and I could've slept for two more hours. Instead of futilely trying to go back to sleep, I turned on the night table lamp. Its dim glow pushed the shadows back and I slid a pillow behind my back so I could comfortably lean against the headboard. The sweat caused by my nightmare cooled on my skin, combined with the drawing heat of my sunburn, caused a chill. I brought the covers over me, trying to warm up.

I didn't need to analyze my dream. I knew the cause and why, after months of peace, it resurfaced tonight. Opening up to Alice, coupled with my resolve to talk about my past with my friends, had ripped open wounds that had only healed on the surface. My way wasn't working. I knew Alice was right; my friends would be here for me. I only hoped, after they knew, they'd still want me around.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ **

I laid silent in my musings, working out how to explain it all to my friends, until my alarm went off. The fog still lingered around the corners of my brain, drifting across my tired mind. I decided a shower might be what I needed to push it back into its mental box. Grabbing a clean pair of board shorts, I walked into the bathroom, turning on the light. Looking in the mirror, I couldn't help but see the dark shadows under my eyes. The lengthening scruff reminded me I hadn't shaved since we'd left Richmond.

Turning away, I scratched at the softening hair on my chin while I set the water for my shower. I washed quickly, rinsing away last night's anguish with the soap swirling down the drain. After toweling off, I pulled on my board shorts and applied the sunblock I rarely used. While it wouldn't help the existing burn, I knew a good coating would forestall any additional sun damage. I ran my hands through my damp hair, slicked it off my face, and pulled it into a hair tie. I contemplated shaving but decided it wasn't worth the effort. My unkempt hair and three-day-old scruff provided an effective barrier against the surf groupies that were sure to be at the beach. The first day was typically quiet, but moving into the weekend, the crowds were thickening.

I threw the sunblock into the bag with my gear and headed toward Emmett's room. I knocked quietly, not wanting to wake Edward in the room across the hall. Touching the knob to open the door and wake Emmett, I heard the shower cut on. Satisfied he wouldn't crawl back into bed, I headed downstairs to make something to eat and check the schedule.

Edward had set the coffee pot again. What a fucking gem! I was going to trade in Emmett to have Edward for my new best friend. Turning to open the fridge door, I noticed a note held up by a "Virginia is for Lovers" magnet. Pulling it down, I recognized Edward's neat script. .

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;::

_Guys—_

_Alice made an egg casserole for breakfast. _

_Just pop it in the oven for about 30 minutes 375._

_Emmett, don't eat it all! I should be up before you _

_leave, and I want some, too!_

_E._

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Fucking A! Hot coffee and breakfast I didn't have to make myself. SCORE! Alice was now in first place on my BFF list! I set the oven temperature, placing the casserole inside, and set the timer. I added a couple extra minutes since the oven hadn't reached temperature. Putting the timer next to me, I pulled up Emmett's laptop to see what the heats looked like. We were starting an hour later today due to the reduced number of competitors.

In longboards, Emmett would compete against Paul, I'd caught him in the shortboard heats. I wasn't worried about the longboard heats, but I'd have my work cut out for me in shorts, especially going against Paul in my group. Oh well. I couldn't get stressed about it. All I could do was surf my best, the rest would be up to the judges.

Checking the timer, I realized there were only a few minutes left. I poured myself a second cup of coffee and started making toast. Emmett bounded into the kitchen while I buttered the first pieces, snagging a piece off the plate, before dancing out of reach so I wouldn't hit him.

"What smells so fucking good? I could've found the kitchen with my eyes closed!" He opened the oven door. "Mmmm, I know your non-cooking ass didn't make that. Where the hell did it come from?"

Popping a couple more pieces in the toaster, I shoved Emmett away from the oven when the timer went off.

"Back down, dude, and let me get it out of the oven. No, I didn't make it. Edward's pixie left it for us. Matter of fact, he said he wanted to eat, too, so why don't you go tell him it's done?"

Emmett grumbled something about being hungrier than an Ethiopian poster child. Ignoring him, I set the casserole on the stove-top. Or, at least, I tried to ignore him, until...

"EDWARD! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE OR I'M EATING ALL OF ALICE'S CASSEROLE!" he bellowed up the stairs. I damn near jumped out of my skin!

"Fuck, Emmett, what the hell dude? I'm pretty sure they heard you out on that cargo ship offshore! Tone it the fuck down!" Shaking my head, I buttered the rest of the toast and placed the plate on the stove, too. Hearing Edward moving around in his room, I set a coffee cup in front of the pot for him. Grabbing plates and forks, I put them on the island before serving myself. Emmett could get his own damn food. I shook my head again, wondering for the umpteenth million time how we'd become best friends. I guess opposites attract in friendships, too.

While Emmett made a plate, I sat at the table going over the heat list again, also checking out the final scores from the day before. Interesting. Apparently, Paul's little outburst had cost him more than a talking to by the officials. Paul had dropped to third place in longboards, moving Emmett into second. His name was starred, noting a penalty assignment for poor sportsmanship. Good, about damn time he got nailed for the shit he pulled on the water. Sure, the scores reset fresh this morning, but the judges wouldn't forget the penalty. If Paul wasn't careful, he'd be sand sitting for day three.

When Emmett sat down, I turned the computer around so he could see the stats page. Glancing down the list, I watched his eyes grow larger, then light up with merriment. His shoulders shook with suppressed laughter, and then he gave in and let out a large barking laugh.

"Oh, that is frigging rich," he snorted. "I can't believe someone finally put the screws to Paul. He's such a douche! Guess his shit don't smell as nice as he likes to think, huh?"

I nodded in wordless agreement while I finished eating my breakfast.

"Oh yeah, but he will be in rare frigging form today. I don't know about you, Em, but I'm gonna be watching my back every time I have to share an ocean with him. I just don't trust his sorry ass."

"Whose sorry ass?" Edward questioned, coming off the bottom step, "And is that Alice's casserole? Damn, that smells great!"

"Plates are on the counter and I made a pile of toast, too. Better get yours quick before Emmett hoovers up the rest of it."

Edward looked at the half-empty baking dish and then at the mound of food Emmett was plowing through on his plate, then back to the dish, he cleared his throat, "Shit, Jas, did you even get any? I'm pretty sure the bulk of what's missing is on Em's plate!"

I held up my empty plate in answer, while Emmett tried to talk around the third piece of toast he had just shoved in his mouth.

"Mmpphs gggioouuoo," he garbled, swallowed, and tried again. "It's good. Besides, the breakfast they give us is a carb-laden nightmare. I'd be asleep from the sugar crash before I even surfed my second heat if I ate that shit. Now I'll be good until lunch time."

"Christ, Emmett, a third world village could survive for a month on what you eat in a day. How the hell you aren't as big as a house amazes me." Raising the cup I'd left on the counter in a salute, to which I nodded, Edward continued, "I know Jas is going to school, have you figured out what you're going to do all winter?"

"Nah, not yet. I bounced around the idea of going to college. Is it too late to get in?"

Edward choked on the coffee he was drinking, setting his plate on the table. Grabbing a napkin, he wiped off the coffee dribbling down his chin and onto his white t-shirt. He stared incredulously at Emmett.

"Are you frigging kidding? Classes start on Monday! You might be able to go to Tidewater Community, but I don't know if ODU is still accepting students. Besides, your grades were barely above the curve to play football. I mean, yeah, you don't need a scholarship, but you've been out of school for four years. You'll have to contact the school and speak with an admissions counselor and they'll probably want you to take a placement test. What do you want to study?" Edward paused, then quipped, "I'm pretty sure that kegging and surfing aren't offered as majors."

Flipping off his cousin, Emmett rubbed the back of his neck, but didn't answer right away. Not wanting him to feel like this was the Spanish Inquisition; I stood up and checked the dishwasher. Someone had emptied it last night after I went to bed, so I rinsed my plate and utensils, loading them in the machine. Pouring another cup of coffee, I leaned back against the counter, watching the interaction between my roommates.

"I don't know, dude," Emmett finally answered. "I mean, I never really thought about it."

"Hell, Emmett, there has to be something you're interested in," Edward pushed. "Didn't you ever think about what you wanted to be when you grew up?"

Emmett squirmed in his seat, "Honestly? No. I figured that something would eventually speak to me."

I decided to save Emmett from himself. Pushing off the counter, I looked at my watch and set my cup in the sink for later. "Hey, it's all cool, Emmett. You can give it some thought today and tomorrow. Maybe give Esme and Carlisle a call, too. You can't do anything before Monday anyway. For now, we got a tournament to surf and you have to worry about trying to beat me." Looking at Edward, I continued, "You coming down to the beach?"

"I might be down in a couple of hours. I have a department meeting at nine and I'm not sure how long it's going to take. I'll text you and see if you're still surfing"

"That's cool. We'll see you in a couple hours. Em, all your shit's still in my truck, you want to just take mine?"

Emmett looked up from the table he had been studying, and sighed. "Yeah, that works. Let me just grab my bag and skins then we can hit it."

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

Thirty minutes later, we'd checked in and staked out on the beach near the organizers' tent. Like I'd figured, the beach had a bigger crowd than yesterday and it would only get busier as the day progressed and people remembered the tournament was running. The news and radio crews would draw them in, so would the huge sand sculpting contest and boardwalk art show. With summer winding down, parents wanted to spend as much time as they could with their kids before school started.

The horn sounded for the first group to hit the shoreline. Emmett wished me luck while I pulled my red skin on for the first heat and grabbed my board. At the second blast, I took off running, hitting the water before the other three guys I'd be surfing against. I rolled the waves breaking in front of me, pulling through to the other side. Paddling furiously, I turned out at the start buoy, watching the set roll in. The surf was still high from the tropical storm that had shifted northwest and moved in a hundred miles overnight. The waves looked good and I managed to fade into the second one. I slid down the front side of the wave, pumping the board vertically, then carving a sharp turn off the top that dropped me right in front of the breakline. On my third trip up the wave, I caught air at the top and snapped the board into a sharp turn that popped the fins off the shoulder. As the wave closed out behind me, I stalled and turned out, knowing I'd given my best. The cheers from the shore confirmed my gut instinct.

The rest of the heat ran well and we all squeezed two runs in. I might've been able to pull a third, but the wave set just wasn't good enough to risk it lowering my overall average. While I hit the beach from body-boarding in, Emmett, Paul, and the other two guys in their heat headed out, ducking their boards under the incoming breakers that fell one on top of the other. I walked backward up the beach, watching the action out on the water. Emmett pulled out ahead on the run to the buoy with Paul right behind him, when I witnessed something I'd never seen at a pro level tournament. One of the locals in the heat, a relatively new surfer and the last to hit the surf in the group, got caught inside and struggled to get through the breaking waves out to calmer water. Trying to duck the waves again, he was pitched over and shoved back even further into shore. After a third attempt, the guy grabbed his board and walked out of the water, eliminating himself from the competition. It was a shame, even though it made for less competition. I kept my eyes on the kid when he stormed to the beach, grabbed the rest of his gear, and shoved his way through the crowd. I knew he had to be mortified.

I'd been so busy watching the kook that I missed Emmett's first run, only turning back to the water in time to see Paul stalling and turning out. The third surfer in their group was already up and surfing. The sets were high and fast, allowing the guys to catch the waves faster. With the reduced fields today, heats were only fifteen minutes long. At six minutes in, Emmett had already popped up for his second run. The waves made extreme moves harder, but more valuable, points-wise. While Emmett shredded the wave, I looked back out toward the start and the local were exchanging words, but it looked 's attention wasn't on the waves, though, and he missed Emmett's stall and turn-out, not realizing it was his turn until he saw Emmett paddling back out. Paul was furious when he popped up, losing his footing on his board. He didn't fall, but set his goofy foot forward in order to hold his balance. With the speed of the wave, he couldn't correct, and his run left much to be desired. I saw Emmett laughing out on his board, whether at Paul or something the local said to him – I couldn't tell.

The local popped up for his second run with only four minutes left in the heat. I knew everyone wouldn't get a third run, but there was no reason Emmett couldn't. With the set now moving through, Paul might even get on before the horn. I looked out toward the buoy again, sensing there could be trouble. The local had already stalled and turned out, moving to the side and heading toward the shore. Emmett had already let one great wave go. The one coming in was amazing, though, so I knew why he had. Waiting guaranteed him the better wave, but it shut Paul out for a third run. Paul screamed at Em, cussing a blue streak that could be heard from the beach. Just when Emmett got up on his board and moved to the front for his run, the horn blew. Paul frigging exploded and began paddling back to shore.

Emmett's third run was as tight as the first two and I knew he'd be my toughest competition the next day. The women were already lining up to head out for their shortboards heat, but the officials were all over the shoreline, holding them back and waiting for Paul to get out of the water. Meanwhile, I waited for Emmett, dragging him away toward our gear to keep him out of the line of fire. Paul flew out of the water, snapping the leash off his ankle, fists clenched at his side. He glared at Emmett, heading straight for us, until the officials surrounded him like seagulls converging on crumbs on the sand.

"McCarty, you fucking piece of shit! You shut me down on purpose! Can't stand a little competition?" Paul bellowed, trying to push through the officials.

One of the officials stepped forward, clearing his throat before he spoke, "Excuse me, Mr. Wolfe, but we've already warned you about your language. I'd suggest you control your temper immediately. We need you to come with us." One of the members of the security team placed his hand on Paul's shoulder, forcing him toward the officials' tent.

Emmett and I watched while Paul looked back over his shoulder, yelling at Emmett, "This ain't over, McCarty, not by a long shot."

Em nodded, raising his eyebrows, daring Paul to try something.

Shaking my head, I looked at my best friend. "Em, he's gonna come after you, you know that? What the hell were you thinking, deliberately shutting him out, knowing he'd already be in a shit mood?"

"Jas, you'd have waited for the larger wave, too, and you damn well know it. As for Paul, let him try. He's nothing more than a punk talking a ton of shit. I ain't afraid of him or the pussies he runs with."

I knew Em was right, on all counts, but I couldn't help worrying. Sure, in a fair fight, Em could take Paul no problem. The thing was, Paul never played fair. Instead of pushing the issue, I checked out the officials' tent. Paul gestured wildly, while security personnel stood right behind him. The official in front of Paul continued to shake his head, saying nothing. Paul became more agitated and the official backed up, motioning to security. The two burly men placed their hands on Paul's shoulders, escorting him to his stuff. One of his groupies had already retrieved his board from the surf. Paul continued to yell and bitch, kicking around more of his shit than actually picking up. The officials spoke quietly to Paul's friends and they began gathering things up, while Paul was escorted from the beach, apparently disqualified. He looked back over his shoulder, his dark eyes boring into Emmett's. When he reached the boardwalk, he mouthed, "Mine." Yeah, this shit wasn't over, not by a long shot.

* * *

_**Chapter title is from the Tom Waits song of the same name. **_

_**Please check out the Spencer Bell Memorial page and remember him fondly. 4 years ago the world lost a genius it did not even know it had. The friends and family of Spencer are doing a fantastic job of bringing awareness and research dollars to Adrenal cancer : www(dot)spencerbellmemorial(dot)com**_

_**Fic rec: My Life Extended by LyricalKris totally owns me right now. I pushed through the first 8 chapters in just a few hours and I cannot wait for the author to update. Check it out and let her know you love it and I sent you!**_

_**A group for fans of Going Under has been started on Facebook. There is a great bunch of ladies in here and we are always looking for more friends. Come join us to talk about the story, other fic recs, and just generally hang out.**_

_**FB group: http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot).net/s/6339436/1/**_


	9. Chapter 9: Fumblin' with the Blues

_**As always, I could not do this without my incredible betas and pre-readers: Nails233, LaMomo Willow, Manda, and hln3twimom. Any mistakes come from my not being able to leave well enough alone once they send it back!**_

_**I own adorable sock monkey bedroom slippers and a lare collection of Jackson Rathbone coffee mugs. **_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight but the plotlines and situations are mine. If I owned Jasper, I probably would be WAY to busy to write this.**_

_**Please do not reproduce, translate, caress, or fondle my story inappropriately in any way or I'll send Paul to ruin your beach party.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 9**

**Fumblin' with the Blues**

_Paul continued to yell and bitch, kicking around as much of his shit as he was actually picking up. The officials spoke quietly to Paul's friends and they began gathering things up instead. As Paul was escorted from the beach, apparently disqualified, he looked back over his shoulder, his dark eyes boring into Emmett and, as he reached the boardwalk, he mouthed, "Mine.' Yeah, this shit was far from over._

"Well, now. That was fun!" Emmett snorted when we pulled in the driveway at home later that afternoon.

"Em," I shook my head in exasperation, "you may have poked the wrong bear this time. Paul isn't going to let this shit go. You do realize that, right?"

'Yeah, Jas, but he's a frigging punk. I'm glad he finally got his dick handed to him. So I watch my back for a couple of days. Whatever. If he wants to stay on the tour, he ain't gonna pull anything, anyway. He can't afford for the organizers to hear about it."

Releasing the deep breath I'd been holding in, I contemplated the situation before answering. "I don't know, Em. He's pissed. Sure, he has to be careful now, but he's one sneaky bastard. Two of his boys are still competing tomorrow. Unless he's banned from the beach, he'll be there, and he'll be looking for trouble."

"It's all good, dude. You got my back, right? I can take him if he starts any shit. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm fucking starving and I need a shower."

While we walked up to the door, Edward pulled into the driveway, also. He'd made it to the beach in time for the last two shortboard heats. I'd filled him in on the Paul situation and he shared my concerns about what Paul was capable of. Emmett had been dismissive of Edward's concerns, too, so I knew it wouldn't do any good to pull Edward back into the argument. I'd just have to make sure I kept an eye on things the next day.

Emmett headed upstairs to grab a shower, while I looked for something for eat. Edward walked into the kitchen, talking on his cell phone. It didn't take long to piece together that Esme was on the other end.

"Yes, they both advanced to the finals. No, I'm not sure, I'll need to get the information from them. Tonight? We have room here. No, it's fine, Em and Jas wouldn't mind. Sure. No, it's all good I understand. Of course she can, Mom. I know you aren't naïve enough to think it never happened in Richmond. Tomorrow? We're thinking about having a cookout. Okay. Sure. Just call when you get in. Tell Dad we all said Hi. 'Kay, we'll see you tonight after you get settled. Love you too, Mom."

I'd been busy pulling lunchmeat out of the fridge for a sandwich, but looked over at Edward when I heard his phone beep, signaling the end of the phone call.

"Well, this end of the conversation sounded interesting. I'm guessing Esme and Carlisle will be in later on this evening?"

"Yeah," he hemmed and hawed before continuing, "uuuhhhmm, I hope it isn't a problem, but Alice'll be staying here for the weekend. Mom and Dad are using her room at the hotel instead of trying to find something else. Most of the hotels are booked up with the end of summer and the tournament."

"Edward, why would it be a problem? We're all adults." I smirked when Emmett walked into the room, "Well, at least you and I are. The jury's still out on Em."

Edward covered his mouth to hide a smile, while Emmett stood there in his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles t-shirt, looking confused.

"Jury is still out on what? What are you guys talking about?" he snagged the bread bag out of my hand and pushed me to the side.

"Dick! Give me a frigging break, I got here first!" I griped, snatching the bread and shoving back. "We were discussing your aunt and uncle coming to town and sleeping arrangements. Since you'll most likely be in Intensive Care tomorrow afternoon, we're just gonna have them stay in your room."

"Ha fucking ha. Yeah right. I'm not giving up my room and Paul can kiss my ass. It's about time someone dealt with him and settled some shit." While he talked, he made an unsuccessful grab for the bread again. I twisted my body to keep it away from him, tossing the bag to Edward, who snatched it out of midair and put it behind his back.

"Em, seriously. I'm thinking Paul is not the kind of trouble you want coming to find you. Just be careful."

"The only trouble I'm worried about is the kind I'm gonna give you if you don't let me have the bread so I can eat!" Emmett growled, turning to confront his cousin.

While he lunged for Edward, I finished making my sandwich. Turning around, I caught Edward's eye and he threw the bread back. Dropping it on the counter, I picked up my plate, then grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. Emmett muttered under his breath, barreling back to the kitchen, but I ignored him to step out onto the deck and watch the water while I ate.

I found a certain peace with the ocean. The continual rolling of the waves, the fluctuation of the tides, and the ever-changing currents gave me a sense of fluidity. Despite the constant change, though, the water had a feeling of permanence to it, one sadly lacking in the rest of my life.

I finished my sandwich, setting the plate down on the table. Leaning back in the chair, my shades on against the glare of the sun, I watched the surf ebb and flow. Broken shells littered the shore, rolling over and disappearing while the rivulets of water moved them over the sand. Sea grass waved in the breeze drifting off the ocean. I sighed, closing my eyes, and allowed the smell of salt spray to wash over me. Feeling calm despite the day's events, I slept.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

I woke a couple hours later. The sun had moved lower in the sky, tinging the water in shades of red and gold, the fading rays glinting off it. I heard Edward's low tone in the house, followed by Alice's more melodic one. The chorus of Van Halen's 'Hot for Teacher' blared from the house, followed by Alice's giggle and Edward yelling, "Fucking Emmett!" Unable to contain my own laughter, I stood and walked inside.

Alice sat at the table, writing something down, while Edward spoke on his phone.

"Hey, Alice, been here long?" I greeted her while placing my plate in the dishwasher.

"No, not very," she giggled. "Emmett's a perpetual clown, isn't he?"

"Oh yeah. Don't leave your phone lying around when you're here." Shaking my head, I continued, "He lives for that shit. I guarantee he'll find something completely inappropriate to program for your ringtone. He's constantly fucking with mine." I grabbed a can of Pepsi out of the fridge, then sat down across from her.

"Well, while it's just the two of us, I thought I'd let you know I made that phone call I promised you I would."

I sat in stunned silence, unsure what to say. I'd known Alice would invite Bella to the beach if we made the finals. Now, though, I found myself nervous, wondering what I'd say to her. My silence and obvious avoidance had to have made a terrible first impression; I wouldn't make the same mistake twice. Alice noticed my sudden attack of nerves and reached across the table to rest her hand on mine, a flicker of understanding in her eyes.

"Jas, it'll be fine. Bella has a heart of gold and I'm sure she thought nothing of your actions the other night." She patted my hand before withdrawing hers to pick up the bottle of water she'd been drinking. Changing the subject, she looked at the notepad in front of her. "We're having a cookout here after you guys finish up tomorrow. Edward and I were working on a shopping list. Is there anything in particular you want us to pick up?"

"Nah, I'm pretty flexible." I shrugged my shoulders, "When you can't cook you can't afford to be picky. Just make sure to grab some beer, oh and some more soda, too." I pushed my hand through my hair, remembering I'd fallen asleep before I took a shower. Grimacing at the feel of the sand and salt scraping my scalp under my fingers, I pushed away from the table.

"Already got it on the list," she paused, giving me a sly glance. "You know, Bella's an excellent cook. You could always ask her to teach you."

Chuckling, I walked around the table. Leaning down, I gave Alice a quick peck on the cheek, before whispering in her ear. "Hey Ali, I need a friend, not a matchmaker. Let me screw this up on my own." I ruffled her hair and headed for the stairs.

"Hey, get your own girl, Whitlock!" Edward joked, ending the call and reprogramming his ringtone.

"She's all yours…Teach!" I shot back, laughing at his repeated, "Fucking Emmett!"

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

I took a quick shower before gathering all my trunks and skins from the past couple of days. When I walked downstairs, Edward and Alice were gone, probably making the grocery run. I threw the clothes in the washer, then flopped on the sofa with my laptop. Checking my emails, I answered one from my sister, then downloaded the syllabus I'd received from one of my professors. The textbook had changed; I'd need to hit the bookstore on Monday before classes.

Despite my reservations about going back to school after two years off, I looked forward to finally completing my degree, taking extra classes in order to finish by spring. The workload would be tough, but it wasn't like I had any other distractions. All my classes were on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I'd be in school for eight hours each day, including the required science labs.

Closing out my emails, I surfed youtube, looking for videos from the tournament. Ahhh, found it! I knew someone wouldn't miss the opportunity to post it. Paul, in all of his ignoble glory, making a complete ass of himself right there for the whole world to see. What an idiot! I bookmarked the link so I could show it to Em later; I knew he'd love it.

Hearing the washer stop, I moved the laundry around, before wandering back into the kitchen to find something to snack on. Edward walked in the front door, carrying cases of beer and soda, finding me still looking through the fridge. Alice entered behind him, struggling with the two handfuls of grocery bags she carried. I rushed across the room to help her, taking the bags out of her hands, and carried them over the island. I followed Edward back outside to help with the rest. The back of his Volvo still had several bags in it and a few more cases of soda and beer.

"Hey, Edward, who the hell are we feeding, the Atlantic Fleet?" I gasped, hauling the three cases out of the trunk. He closed the lid for me, before leading the way back inside.

"We needed groceries anyway." Taking the boxes out of my hands and piling them on the floor near the fridge, he continued, "My parents just got to the bridge, and will be swinging by to pick up the keys to the hotel room. Alice said she'd throw together a pot of sauce and make pasta for dinner."

"Dude, have I told you lately I love your girlfriend? I haven't eaten this good in months! I may not want her to leave after the end of the weekend!"

"Yeah Whitlock, I saw you making the moves on her," he joked back, "and forget it. Go find some beach bunny to play with."

"So not happening, I leave that shit to your cuz. I prefer to be able to hold an intelligent conversation with anyone I'm spending time with. Maybe I'll come haunt your Lit class for a date." I tapped my chin reflectively. "I could even put on glasses to look intelligent."

"Really, Jas? An undergrad?" Edward shook his head. "Don't sell yourself short. You might be able to bag a TA if you're gonna bother to look intelligent. Of course, once she finds out you" he wrinkled his nose looking like he'd smelled bad fish, and laughed, "_surf_ for a living, they'll doubt your potential."

I shoved Edward, hearing Alice laugh while she finished putting the groceries away, before pulling out a pot to start dinner. We continued joking around in the kitchen, Edward and I aggravating the shit out of her and just getting in her way. After throwing the dishtowel and a couple potholders at us countless times, she pinned Edward against the counter.

"Look Romeo, your parents will be here shortly.' She waved the spatula she held under his nose, "Carlisle has worked all day and they've spent the last three hours in traffic from Richmond," she flicked the spatula in my direction, "all to come see Jan and Dean surf tomorrow. Go play with Emmett's damn X-Box and get the hell out of my way, so I can cook dinner for everyone!"

Stifling laughter, Edward and I decided discretion was the better part of valor and got the hell out of Dodge.

Pulling out the controllers, I tossed one to Edward, teasing, "Better not piss off the pixie, seeing as how she's sleeping with you the next few days. I'd hate for you to have wasted an opportunity."

"The 'pixie' is right here, and can hear ever word drawled out of that mouth, Jas. Watch it, or I'll make another phone call," Alice threatened from the kitchen.

Plopping down on the sofa after putting Call of Duty in the X-Box, Edward elbowed me in the ribs. In a quiet whisper he inquired, "Phone call?"

I shook my head, not answering, and proceeded to blow up everything in sight, making Fallujah safe for all.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

Carlisle and Esme arrived about thirty minutes later. We let Alice take Esme on a tour of the house, putting her in her element, while she suggested little decorating tips to finish off the rooms. Carlisle, Edward, and I headed out to the deck, beers in hand, to wait for the ladies to return. Carlisle admired the view, leaning on the rail.

"It's a nice place, son," he tipped his bottle in Edward's direction. "You guys really did get a hell of a deal on it. And this view, it's spectacular!"

"I agree," Esme chimed in, when she and Alice walked out the sliding door. Walking over to Edward, she leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. "It's lovely, dear. The furniture you all picked out is a perfect fit. Now, where's my nephew?"

Surprised, I looked at Edward, "I thought he was up hibernating in his room."

"Nope, he said something about needing to go to the mall and not to hold dinner for him. He left while you were out here earlier." He nodded toward the door, "So, we can eat whenever everyone is ready."

I'd never experienced a family dinner with so much laughter and good-natured banter going on. On the rare occasions my family had eaten together, we were either all silent and everyone rushed away right after, or it rivaled the Grand Inquisition while my father checked to make sure his kids continued to measure up to his expectations. But this…this was fun. Emmett showed up about halfway through and we squeezed him in, too. Edward told his parents an abbreviated version of the "tow girl" incident, causing us all to laugh when Esme slapped Emmett for being disrespectful.

I cleaned up afterwards, while Edward and Alice made sure his parents had directions to the hotel and the tournament for the next morning, before seeing them out to their car. Emmett headed out to his Jeep to retrieve his purchases from the mall. When he came back in carrying a suit bag and a couple small store bags, Alice let out a piercing wolf whistle that would rival that of horny construction workers everywhere. Emmett blushed to the roots of his hair, carefully placing the suit bag over the back of a chair.

"Uhm, hey, Alice," he stammered, "I wondered if you could check this stuff out to see if I did okay matching shit up."

I leaned against the island, watching with interest. I'd never seen Emmett that nervous in the years I'd known him. He'd mentioned that he was taking Rosalie, the 'tow girl' out to dinner, but it appeared to be more than a trip to Olive Garden. I began to shoot out a quick joke, but reconsidered when I saw the tortured look on his face. Oh hell. The poor guy had it bad. I wasn't going to make it any harder on him.

Alice flipped into fashion consultant mode, going through the things Emmett had bought. I went out to the laundry room and grabbed my clothes out of the dryer, folding them while I stood there. Picking up the clean pile, I headed back inside in time to see Edward stifling a grin while Alice had Emmett pirouetting in the middle of the room, fully decked out in his new clothes. I had to say, though, having shopped for himself, he had done a hell of a job. The black tone on tone pinstripe suit fit his large frame well, the white shirt and grey tonal striped tie keeping it understated without being stuffy.

"Damn, dude, I'm glad I know 'tow girl' can hold her own around you," I teased. "You actually look pretty good in a suit. If I was a chick I might even find you attractive."

"Yeah, whatever Jas. Keep your dick in your pants, 'cause I don't swing that way." Emmett still looked tense, but being able to shoot back a retort seemed to relax him a bit. Turning back to Alice, he gestured at himself, 'You're sure this is okay? I mean I could go tomorrow after I get done surfing and get something else."

Alice brushed her hands across his lapels, then patted his cheek. "Em, you look fabulous. Any lady would be lucky to have such an attractive escort. Do you know where you're going to eat?"

Emmett swallowed hard, before pulling out his cell phone to look at something he'd typed there. "Yeah, the guy at the suit place told me about a couple of nice restaurants. I made reservations at one called Alexander's on the Bay. I guess it's not too far away, kind of small, and supposed to be a great place to eat."

"Well, I'm sure it'll be fine, Em," Alice soothed him. "Now get out of this stuff and hang it up so you don't have to iron it before Sunday."

Emmett gathered up all the bags, heading up to his room. The minute he was out of earshot, Edward sent me a look that had us both doubled over laughing. Alice tried to shush us, but it only made us laugh that much harder.

"Oh fucking hell," Edward gasped, holding his sides while he tried to compose himself. "Dude, what the hell happened when he went to the auto shop?"

"I have no fucking clue," I laughed, "but I like this girl already! Anyone that can get your cousin this worked up has got to be a real gem. Hell, a suit? Emmett bought a frigging suit to take some girl out to dinner. That's rich! The biggest effort I've seen him take in two years is clean jeans and a t-shirt with no holes in it. Oh my God, this is fucking awesome!"

"Damn it, stop!" Alice hissed at us through her teeth, trying not to laugh herself. "Leave him alone. Obviously he thinks she's worth the effort. You guys be nice, or so help me, I won't cook for you for a month!" Edward stood and wrapped his arms around Alice, trying to give her a kiss. "No way, Cullen. You're not using that charm to sweet talk me. I'm serious. Leave him alone."

"Aww babe, come on. We're just having some fun. Emmett needed to be put in his place. I can't wait to meet the woman who's man enough to do it." Edward tried to compose himself again, little bits of mirth shaking his shoulders, while Alice glared at him. "Okay, okay. I'll stop for now." At Alice's glare, he amended, "Alright, I'll leave him alone. Now give me a kiss and tell me you forgive me."

Alice leaned back and studied his face. "I mean it, Edward. Do not let me catch you giving him a hard time about this." And with that final thought, she reached up to give him a kiss.

I gathered the clothes I'd set on the island. I cleared my throat, "Well, I'm heading up to my room. I've got to be up early and with all the spectators y'all have coming tomorrow, I want to be on top of my game. I'll see you guys in the morning."

Alice and Edward both murmured goodnight, but I'm sure they were only half listening to me, still wrapped up in each other. Heading upstairs, I closed the door to my room and put my stuff away, stuffing a set of skins in my beach bag and leaving a set of shorts on the dresser. I checked the alarm on my phone before putting it on to charge. Picking up Annabelle, I sat on the edge of the bed, tuning the guitar before picking out snippets of songs when they came to me. My fingers moved across the frets while I hummed the melodies to myself. I strummed out Tom Waits, my favorite musician, but I hadn't played the song in a long time.

_Well I hope that I don't fall in love with you  
'Cause falling in love just makes me blue,  
Well the music plays and you display  
your heart for me to see,  
I had a beer and now I hear you  
calling out for me  
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you._

I stopped playing, leaning my head against the neck of my guitar. Letting out a sigh, I let my mind wander down a dangerous path, one that led back two years, back to Galveston. I'd never got to say I'm sorry, never even said goodbye. I couldn't even remember the last time I said I love you to someone I wasn't related to. Did I even know what love was anymore? I thought I did, once, with Maria. I destroyed that.

Fighting back the pain of thinking about my past, I tried to find something else to focus on. Unbidden, images of Bella swam into my mind. I couldn't let my mind, or my heart, go there, either. But, Bella's quiet beauty drew me in, much like the ships that followed the Cape Henry Lighthouse when they entered the Elizabeth River. Would I find safety, or would I be shattered on the rocks again? Friends, I could only be friends. It's the best I had to offer.

* * *

_**Chapter title is from the Tom Waits song of the same name. **_

_**Please check out the Spencer Bell Memorial page and remember him fondly. 4 years ago the world lost a genius it did not even know it had. The friends and family of Spencer are doing a fantastic job of bringing awareness and research dollars to Adrenal cancer : **__**www(DOT)spencerbellmemorial(DOT)com**_

_**A group for fans of Going Under has been started on Facebook. There is a great bunch of ladies in here and we are always looking for more friends. Come join us to talk about the story, other fic recs, and just generally hang out.**_

_**FB group: **__**www(DOT)/#!/home(dot)php?sk=group_145967552120329&ap=1**_

_**Fic rec: Check out "Where Love Began" from butterflybetty, and The Last Thing I Wanted by nails233. Both are outstanding! Show them some love and tell them busymommy sent you!**_

_**Reviews are love! Push that little button and I'll send Jasper to come sing for you!**_


	10. Chapter 10: I Never Talk to Strangers

_**Love and kisses and bewb gropes to my amazing beta/pre-reader team: LaMomo, Nails233, Willow, Manda, and hln3twimom. They keep me on track and make sure I make sense. Any errors are mine, cause I felt it necessary to play with stuff after they sent it back.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight but the plotlines and situations are mine. If I owned Jasper, he and I could make beautiful music together!**_

_**Please do not reproduce, translate, caress, or fondle my story inappropriately in any way or I'll send Paul to ruin your beach party.**_

* * *

**Chapter 10**

**I Never Talk to Strangers**

_Fighting back the pain of thinking about my past, I tried to find something else to focus on. Unbidden, images of Bella swam into my mind. I couldn't let my mind, or my heart, go there, either. But, Bella's quiet beauty drew me in, much like the ships that followed the Cape Henry Lighthouse when they entered the Elizabeth River. Would I find safety, or would I be shattered on the rocks again? Friends, I could only be friends. It's the best I had to offer._

**JPOV**

I slept fitfully, with images of the fire, Bella, the ocean, and Paul warring in my dreams and blending into a disturbing mess. I awoke tired and out of sorts. I knew that Paul would be at the beach today, certain to cause Emmett problems. I only hoped that Paul would be concerned enough about his surfing career that he'd think twice before starting something. I had serious doubts, though.

I gathered up my gear and headed downstairs, hoping Edward had set the coffee pot again. Not only had he made coffee, but everyone else was already up and hanging out in the kitchen. Emmett had his laptop open, checking out the heat schedule for the day. Edward leaned against the counter next to the stove, attempting to snag a slice of bacon off a plate, while Alice slapped his hand away and flipped over slices of French toast on the skillet.

Murmuring "Good Morning" I walked over to the cupboard to grab a cup for some coffee. Peering over Emmett's shoulder, I could tell by the schedule that we were in for a long day. The first heat for longboards started right at nine, the next one wasn't until one. Shortboards were at ten and two. All of the other classes were filled in around them. While it'd give us some kind of a break, it made for long stretches of time to fill in. I'd have time to look at some of the art show, but checking out the sand sculpting would have to wait until after the competition finished; they'd set it up twenty blocks further down the beach from the tournament..

"Jas?" I looked up to acknowledge Alice, "You want some French toast? Emmett said he wasn't sure you'd eat." She angled herself between Edward and the stove, moving the plate of bacon out of his reach.

"Normally, I wouldn't, but it smells too damn good to say no. Count me in for a couple of slices," I replied, while reaching over Emmett's shoulder to type in the web address to NOAA. The tropical storm had begun moving again, and I wanted to see how it would affect the surf.

"Alright, guys," Alice announced, setting the plates of bacon and French toast on the island. "Breakfast is served. Jas, Em, y'all better hurry up and eat if you're going to make it on time for check-in. Besides, Edward and I have to meet Bella, Carlisle, and Esme at the parking lot, too, before we head onto the sand." She set the syrup and some empty plates down, barely getting her hand away before Emmett was grabbing one to pile food on.

"Bella is coming to the beach? Fucking sweet!" Emmett exclaimed, in between shoving food in his mouth. "Is she coming over here after? Jas, did you get a chance to talk to her the other night? She's cool as hell! I thought she'd be all quiet and shit, but she's pretty funny once you get to know her!"

I closed up the laptop and moved it to the living room before making my own plate. Alice gave me a knowing look, before she and Edward started talking with Em about Bella, sparing me from having to answer him. I ate quickly, putting my plate in the dishwasher when I finished. Emmett ha started on a second full plate.

"Em, you riding with me?" I asked, picking my bag of gear up by the door. "Cause I'm heading out now. The parking's gonna be crazy and they're only going to be able to close it off for so long." I half-hoped he wasn't, only because I knew he'd talk about Bella and it wasn't a topic I wanted to broach with him. I let out an internal sigh of relief when he declined.

"Nah, dude, I ain't ready. Just grab a good spot for us all. I'll be right behind you in the Jeep."

I nodded before heading out to the truck. Pulling out onto the main road, I thought about seeing Bella again. What the hell were we going to talk about? Wait, she'd mentioned being enrolled in school. That's as good a place to start as any, I supposed. Only half-paying attention to the road while I drove, I narrowly avoided running a red light. I shook my head to clear it and paid more attention to the cars around me. Pacific Avenue was packed with traffic. I made my way down to the designated parking at 10th Street, noting the lots filling up on either side of me. Parking the truck, I pulled out my boards, dumping my keys into my duffle bag before I slung it over my shoulder.

I found a spot a few yards back from the shoreline and near the organizers' tent. Staging my boards and bag into a rough triangle, I kicked off my flip-flops to mark off the other corner of a large square of sand. I berated myself for forgetting to grab a blanket to spread out, too. I had a feeling that Alice or Esme would have one, though. I checked in at the judges' table, receiving my color assignments, then tied my skin around my shoulders until the time came to put it on. Standing on the packed, damp sand, I looked out over the rolling waves for what just might be my last surf competition.

While I stood there, allowing the wind and salt air to fill me with peace, I thought over what had brought me to this point in my life. I'd promised myself I'd talk to my friends about my past. I wasn't willing to put it off any longer. That night, everyone would be at the house for the cookout, so it wouldn't be a good time. The next night, though, Emmett would be out on his date. I'd take advantage of the opportunity to sit down with Edward and Alice then. I trusted them to keep my confidences until I could talk to Emmett later. For now, I needed their maturity to get me through talking about it for the first time.

The sun was already hot. I grabbed a bottle of water I had brought with me. Looking around, I saw Collin and Embry, two of Paul's cohorts, strutting onto the beach with a bevy of beach bunnies following them and hanging on their every word. You know the type—blond, tan, bikinis, no brain cells. Scanning the group, I didn't see any sign of Paul. Instead of relief, it only worried me more. The guy was frigging cagey as shit. He wasn't above slashing tires or keying car doors.

I didn't have time to think about Paul, though. Emmett's boisterous laugh ran out over the beach, right before I saw him walk down the boardwalk steps. In all honesty, though, Emmett could've been green with two heads and I wouldn't have given him a second glance. Instead, my eyes were riveted to the pretty brunette walking next to him. Bella. She'd come, even after the way I'd acted Wednesday night.

Her hair bounced down her back in a ponytail, covered by a red ball cap that read "I Got Wet in Forks" on it. Large-framed sunglasses covered her eyes, but I saw the easy smile dancing over her lips. A faded grey FPD t-shirt covered up the bathing suit she wore underneath, the straps peeking out of her neckline. And how the hell did such a petite woman have such incredibly long legs, I thought to myself, my eyes following their honey-toned, lean lines to where they disappeared under the fringed edges of her denim cutoffs.

Drinking in the sight strolling toward me, I barely noticed Alice, Edward, and his parents walking right behind her. When Emmett called my name and waved, she looked up and I mentally put my tongue back in my mouth, while pulling my eyes away from staring at her. Acknowledging Emmett with a nod and a wave, I walked to meet the group to lend a hand with the bags and coolers they were carrying.

Alice walked up next to Bella when I reached them. "Jas, you remember Bella, right?"

"Uh yeah," I answered, turning to look at Bella. "I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to talk the other night. Jasper Whitlock." I extended my hand.

Bella placed her graceful hand in mine, "Bella Swan. It's nice to see you again, Jas." I took the small cooler from her other hand. "I've never seen a surf tournament; I hope you and Emmett will explain things to me."

"Well, we're both surfing in the finals for the divisions we compete in, but, I'd be more than happy to explain how it all works while one of the other classes is surfing," I answered while I led the group over to where I'd stowed my gear.

"I hope this works for everyone. I wanted to make sure you had a good view."

Everyone agreed with my choice and began spreading out blankets, chairs and towels, while Emmett went to check in. I noticed the refs paddling out to the start buoy; it'd only be a few minutes before the heat had to report to the shoreline. Pulling my red skin on, I picked up my longboard. Emmett came back and grabbed his green skin out of his bag to pull it on, before picking up his own board. Esme clapped her hands, then hugged us both.

"Gosh, boys, this is so exciting! Good luck to both of you!" She dropped down on the blanket next to Carlisle.

"Yep, good luck guys." Edward slapped his cousin on the back, chiming in with the others to wish us well.

"This is really Jas' event, but I'm gonna make him earn it," Emmett joked, eyeing up the other two guys we'd be surfing against, Embry and a local kid named Matt. Other than the fact that he slavishly followed Paul, Embry wasn't a bad guy, and I didn't worry much about surfing against him. From what I'd seen the past two days, Emmett would be my biggest competition this round.

When the gun sounded, Emmett and I trotted to the shoreline. We, and the other surfers, were met there by an official from the organizing committee.

"Guys, I hate having to bring this up, but the other organizers and I feel it needs to be addressed," Mr. Banner began, then cleared his throat. "I'm sure you know by now that we were forced to disqualify one of our participants for poor sportsmanship. Gentlemen, this tournament is part of a large family-themed event weekend that we've held here in Virginia Beach for over thirty years. Mr. Wolffe's actions and language yesterday were not conducive to that theme. He's also been reported to the national governing body. You can rest assured that his participation in future tournaments will be closely monitored. Any other surfers who cannot adhere to a basic code of decency will also be summarily disqualified. Am I understood?"

We all nodded our heads, murmuring in agreement. It seemed like they were going to start cracking down on some of the bullshit that happens. Well, it was long overdue in my book.

"Alright then, let's have some clean runs today and have fun. At the heart of all of this, that's what we want y'all to do. Good luck out there and enjoy the surf. Tropical Storm Ivan is still kicking things up, so I expect to see great things!" And with that, Mr. Banner moved to the side and signaled for the starting horn. When it sounded, we all took off running for the water, paddling and ducking under the breakers, striving to reach the buoy first.

Matt beat us all out first, with me, Embry, and Emmett following in that order. We had the next twenty minutes to set the tone for the rest of the day. The wave set moving in looked good and I watched Matt take off, popping up fast and toeing out to the front edge of the board. His had a clean run, if not overly flashy, riding the wave close to the shore. By the time he turned out, I'd started my run. Two waves had merged right behind me, giving me a huge swell to work with, one I took full advantage of. Cutting the wave bottom to top, I hung edge off the shoulder, going aerial a couple times. I sensed the wave would pipe and it didn't disappoint me. Coming off an aerial, I dropped into the pipe, readjusting my position on the board to keep my weight better balanced. Cutting back and pumping, I knew I had this shit. The wave held to within feet of the shore and I took it all the way, turning out at the last possible minute. Paddling back out to the buoy, I didn't need to see Emmett's expression to know I'd brought my best.

Matt leaned over and offered a high five. "Dude, I should head to shore now. Ain't no way in hell I can compete with that shit!"

Slapping his raised hand, I scoffed at his words. "Hell Matt, you got at least one more run this round and another whole round to go." Shading my eyes with my hands, I watched Emmett, shouting encouragement, before continuing, "Don't sell yourself short. You got some good shit, bring your best and go for it. In the end, it's all about having fun, right?"

Matt nodded. "Yeah, I guess so. Well, here goes nothing!" his reply drifted back when he paddled forward to catch his next wave.

His second run was clean, and a drastic improvement over the first. Nodding my head in satisfaction, I was somewhat pleased. Maybe it was my run or my pep talk that encouraged him. Either way, it was nice to have some competition, outside of Emmett.

Taking my second run, I worked the wave as if my blood were made of salt water. If this competition was gonna be the end, I wanted to put it all out there. So far I had. Turning out at the end of another stellar run, I smiled to myself. I didn't know how much time was left in the heat so I figured what the hell, and paddled back out. The waves were rolling today, really rushing in, so I figured I had a damn good chance to pick up a third run before the final gun.

As Emmett turned out on the end of his second run and Matt paddled out for his third, the five minute gun sounded. I watched Emmett push his board to shore, before focusing on Matt's run. He worked the wave for all it had, giving a good show. A snug mini pipe formed, but he pulled through it well. When he neared the shore, I looked to the starting ref to get the all-clear. At his nod, I checked the waves rolling in. The first sucked but the second was a beaut. Throwing caution to the wind, I took off, popping on the wave's shoulder and dipping into the face after flipping the fin into a full aerial off the top.

I heard the closing horn sound through the euphoria I experienced while I followed the flow of the ocean, letting it fill my soul. When the board went vertical, I leaned back into it, cutting through the wave like a hot knife through butter. Shifting my weight front to back, I lifted the nose up the wave again, riding the crest as the wave began to roll over behind me. No pipe this time. Instead, I pumped ahead of the break, damn near driving the nose under before I shifted back and carved an arc that popped it up and out of the water 180 degrees. The wave continued to rush to the shore, with me playing my board across it. Still standing, I rode into the shallows, able to step right off into ankle deep water. Bending to unsnap my leash, I scooped up the board and jogged to the group of friends cheering wildly for me on the beach.

Emmett pulled me into a headlock and roughed up my hair."Fucking A, dude! I haven't seen shit like that in like, forever! There is no way in hell you aren't leading the class. Even the announcers are in awe!"

I pushed him off me. "Yeah, whatever. It felt good."

Esme came over and placed her hands on my arms. "Jas, honey," she said, in the gentle voice I'd come to associate with her, "I don't know a hell of a lot about surfing, but that was really amazing to watch from here." The others nodded in agreement and they all began speculating on how the heat would be scored.

Blushing a bit at Emmett's exuberance and the praise from the others, I ducked my head, feeling self-conscious. I wasn't used to this kind of attention and it was a bit unnerving. Trying to change the subject, I asked Alice to grab me a bottle of water out of my bag lying near her leg. Instead, I felt an ice cold bottle pressed into my hand. I looked over to see Bella's light smile.

"Here, Jas, this one's cold. It'll probably be more refreshing than one that's been sitting in the sun."

With a quiet thank you, I flopped down in the middle of the group and stretched my legs out in front of me.

"How long 'til we got to be up for shorts Em?"

At that moment, the speakers squawked with an announcement calling all competitors to the officials' tent. Pushing myself up, I joined Emmett and we walked over together. Ripples of murmuring and speculation rolled through the group, while we wondered why we'd been called over. After waiting a few minutes to give everyone a chance to gather around, Mr. Banner spoke to the group.

"Ladies and gentlemen, for safety's sake, we have been closely monitoring the storm track for Tropical Storm Ivan. While it's not expected to make landfall until it moves further up the coast, its path has shifted, bringing the storm in closer to shore, causing dangerous tides and rip currents. I'm sure this news comes as no surprise when you look at the water conditions." He looked around the group, noting the nods of agreement, before continuing, "Because of the strengthening storm, and in the interest of safety, we're going to shorten the competition. All classes will surf only one heat, not two as previously scheduled. We are currently revising the schedule and will post it shortly. We appreciate your patience while we work things out. We will also be announcing the final scores and winner for the Masters Longboard Class. Good luck to the four gentlemen who competed."

Mr. Banner walked back to the judges' stand to confer with them while the surfers talked amongst themselves, before drifting back to where their gear was stowed. Several came to congratulate me on the heat and I uncomfortably accepted their praise. I never started surfing for the glory, it had always been for the fun. I'd just been lucky enough to be good at something I loved. No matter how may competitions I'd won over the past few years, I'd never gotten used to the accolades.

Emmett and I finally broke away and rejoined our friends. We told them about the organizers' decision to tighten the competition and close up shop early. When Carlisle asked what that meant for the heat that had just completed, Emmett explained that the runs would be scored for it and the winner picked from those. At that, Edward slapped me on the back, congratulating me.

"Hell, Jas, you won then! There's no way anyone's scores came close to you, not even Em's. Looks like we'll have at least one victory to celebrate this evening!"

I shushed Edward, saying, "Let's not start popping the champagne just yet. The judges might not feel the same way." I was too antsy to sit still on the blankets and instead stood, bouncing on the balls of my feet. Bella, Alice and Esme were talking together and I watched the three of them interact. That same feeling of peace I had felt watching Bella in the park eased over me again. When Bella suddenly looked up and caught me staring, I smiled hesitantly instead of looking away. She smiled back and patted the blanket, inviting me to sit. In the instant it took me to decide whether or not to accept her offer, the loudspeaker crackled and the announcer's voice boomed out over the beach.

"_Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for attending the East Coast Surf Championships! We appreciate your attendance and support of this competition, now celebrating its 35__th__ year. We have a few announcements. First, due to the threat of Tropical Storm Ivan and the changing surf, we are shortening the finals to only one heat for each classification. That brings us to our second announcement. The Masters Longboards final was our first event of the day. The results from the judges have been tallied and averaged. In fourth place, Embry Call from Oahu, Hawaii. Third place belongs to Matt Greene from right here in Virginia Beach. Second place is awarded to Emmett McCarty of Coronado, California, and our winner, from Galveston, Texas, is Jasper Whitlock. Great job, gentlemen! Would the competitors for the Women's Longboards please report to the starting area at this time." _

Before the announcer had even finished saying Em's name, our blanket erupted in cheers and shouts, everyone jumping to their feet and hugging each other. Em and I high-fived each other and he swept Alice and Bella up in a bear hug with the potential to crack a rib. Esme pulled me to her for a hug while Edward and Carlisle slapped me on the back. Em put the girls down, scooping up his aunt. Caught up in the moment, I hugged Bella and Alice, while Alice threw her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek.

"Careful there, Whitlock, your stoicism is slipping," she whispered in my ear, with a bubble of laughter.

Ecstatic over my win, I hadn't realized my arm still wrapped around Bella's waist. Stepping away, I started to fluster out an apology but the obvious joy on her face stopped me.

"This is awesome Jas! You and Emmett must be thrilled!" Bella's sincerity shone around her, wiping away all the nerves I'd had about talking to her. "What happens now?"

Taking her arm, I pulled her down to sit on the front edge of the blanket, where we had a clear view of the surf. For the next two hours, while various other classes surfed, I explained the basics of surf maneuvers and scoring. By the time I finished, Bella could competently evaluate the competitors and became even more excited when her understanding grew. I didn't noticed when the others drifted away every now and again to check out the other events going on. Instead, I focused on Bella and the warmth of her nearness.

The salt breeze blowing around us caused strands of her pony tail to drift against my shoulder when I leaned closer to point things out to her about the competitors we were watching. Her laugh was throaty, honeyed, exactly how I remembered from the night at the bar. I found myself fascinated by the smiles that played across her lips while we were talking, the bottom one slightly fuller and pinked from her pulling it between her teeth when she concentrated on something. A musky floral scent drifted around her; sensual, exotic, enticing. I found myself leaning closer more often as the day moved on, drinking in all that could from her. Lost in Bella's company, I didn't realize the time until I noticed the change in the shadows around us, caused by the moving sun.

Checking the time on my phone and the updated schedule Emmett had grabbed from the judges' table, I realized I only had about an hour before I had to surf again. If I wanted to eat, it needed to be soon. Leaning back to look at the group scattered around behind us, I checked to see if anyone else was hungry.

"I'm starving!" Emmett replied, rubbing his stomach. "I have been for hours and I'm sick of eating hot dogs and fried chicken from the tent."

We all laughed when Esme looked over her sunglasses, "Really, Emmett? You're hungry? What a surprise!" She sat up, nudging Carlisle with her foot. "Well, Carlisle and I are going to treat you all to lunch. How much time do you have?"

When I told her, she nodded. "We'll just keep it simple, then, especially since you're planning the cookout for later. I saw a sub place a couple of blocks up the boardwalk. Does that work for everyone?" When we all agreed, she pulled out her Blackberry and started typing. "What does everyone want? Emmett, you can walk with your uncle and me to go grab them, so we don't have to pack everything up."

We all let her know what we wanted and they headed up to grab the food. Reaching into her cooler for another bottle of water, Bella asked Alice about the art exhibit that she and Edward had walked down to a little earlier. While they talked, I leaned back on my elbows, closed my eyes, and let the conversation roll over me. It was nice to just hang out, a group of friends spending the day at the beach.

Edward broke my reverie, "Hey, Jas, isn't that the guy they disqualified yesterday?" he asked.

Sitting up quickly, I pushed my hair back and looked in the same direction Edward was staring.

FUCK!

Sure enough, Paul had joined the group that had come on the beach with Embry and Collin. Even from a distance, I could feel the anger pulsating off him. He glared toward the boardwalk steps. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme there, just stepping back on the beach. Edward and I both tensed, waiting.

Alice placed her hand on Edward's arm."He wouldn't really start trouble here, would he?" trepidation crept into her voice.

Edward relaxed when his family neared the blanket and looked down at Alice. "I don't know babe. He was really pissed off yesterday when they removed him from the beach. I don't know what it is, but I just don't trust him."

"Don't trust who, cuz?" Emmett scanned the beach to see who we were talking about. "Motherfucker! I can't believe he had the balls to show up today!"

"Emmett Dale McCarty!" Esme hissed as she smacked Emmett in the back of the head. "This beach is loaded with children, not to mention the three ladies that are right here. You will watch your mouth!"

The four children playing in the sand a few feet away stared, fascinated by the little woman scolding the bear of a man that towered next to her. Chagrined, Emmett apologized to the ladies in our group, as well as the two moms sitting near the children. Shocked by the apology from the large handsome man, they stammered out their acceptance. The rest of the group laughed, but Paul's presence just a few yards away had definitely put a damper on our afternoon.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

While the last few moments before the shortboards heat ticked away, Emmett and I both became restless, unable to sit still. The color of my surf skin hadn't changed, so I'd just left it on after I finished longboards. Now, I felt overheated, my movements restricted by the form fitting shirt. Pulling on the neckline, I moved my head around to ease the tension building in my shoulders. I heard the others talking on the blanket, but couldn't participate in the conversation. Instead, I focused on the surf, letting the continuity of the waves calm me. They'd grown increasingly higher, stronger, as the afternoon progressed and the storm raced northwest.

When the announcer called for us to assemble on the shoreline, I grabbed my board. Our friends and family wished Emmett and I luck while we strode away. I looked over the other surfers, sizing up the competition. Emmett's skills far surpassed mine in shortboards; he was one of the best in the game right now. Collin's skills matched Em, but with an arrogance and cocksure attitude that irritated the fuck out of me. Mike Newton, a fellow tour surfer from Washington, had had a banner couple of days, surfing way beyond what I'd seen from him all summer. It would be a tough round, but I felt up to the challenge.

Emmett and I distanced ourselves from Collin. He was a great deal like his cohort in crime and I didn't want to provoke him before we even hit the water. Animosity radiated off of him like heat lightening. I felt a discomforting prickling sensation at the back of my neck and turned to see what had caused it. Paul had moved closer to the shoreline, glaring at both of us. I'd been found guilty by association, being Emmett's friend, even though I hadn't been in the water when shit went down the day before.

"Don't look now, but this shit definitely ain't over," I said under my breath to Emmett. "Paul'is right behind us and he's got a hard-on for your ass. If looks could kill, we'd both be dead on the spot."

Completely ignoring me, Emmett turned to look where Paul stood. Instead of turning away, Emmett squared his shoulders, gave Paul a quick wave, before blowing him a kiss, ending with flipping him the finger. Paul visibly bristled and made a move to head toward us. Embry stopped him, and with a few quick words, managed to restrain Paul. The fury in his eyes was palpable, though.

"Damn it Em! Why the hell did you have to provoke him? Dude, your whole family is here. Let's just get through the heat and off the beach without an incident, okay?"

Emmett smirked, then nodded. Before I could jump his shit, the starting horn sounded and all four of us were off running into the surf. I got the jump on the group, ducking under the first wave before they'd cleared the eddies. I paddled quickly, hoping to pull first position at the buoy. The others were gaining on me; I could hear their strokes cleaving into the water. Not wanting to take the time to look back, I pressed on. Just as I reached the buoy, Emmett shot past me, grabbing position. I thought I had second locked, when I felt a pull on my leash leg dragging me backward, and my board started to slide out from under me. I shook my leg free, while Collin paddled around me.

The look on his face said it all. The bastard had snagged my leash. Yeah, this shit was on.

I pulled into third position, behind Collin, who sat staring at the waves moving in, his expression smug Emmett looked around him, his eyebrow raised in question, knowing I'd been right behind him. I nodded toward Collin, shaking my head. Emmett's eyes darkened in understanding, his thinly held control fraying even more. His back stiffened when he made his decision, then turned to face the coming wave set.

Finding a promising one, Emmett turned his board toward shore, paddling ahead of it and popping to his stance as soon as his board reached the shoulder. He channeled his anger into his run, using it to dominate the wave, riding the crest and cutting across the face. I gave a whoop of appreciation, slapping my board in excitement. Collin shot me a dark look snarling at me.

"Enjoy it while you can, Cowboy. Your boy is going down. Get in my way, and I'll take you with him."

With that parting shot, he paddled away, grabbing the next strong wave that rolled through. The guy was such a prick; I couldn't find anything admirable about him. His moods were erratic, he couldn't control himself in tense situations, and it showed in his surfing. Even though he had the skills to surf these waves, he struggled to control his board. He managed to hold it together, though, and turned out a couple yards from shore.

Emmett made it back out to the buoy near the end of Collin's run. The set had broken up and the next one was still a few minutes out. With some time to spare, he leaned forward to look around Mike.

"Dude, what the hell? You were right behind me!"

I shook my head, not wanting to get into it. Mike thought better though, and spoke up.

"Collin snaked his line. I saw the whole thing. He wasn't even fucking subtle about it, but because we were bunched up, the judges wouldn't have seen it." Clearing his throat, he made a decision. "After the shit he and Paul have pulled all summer, I'm over it. If you guys report him, I'll back you up."

I nodded, my eyes still watching the horizon. The set had arrived. While I turned my board toward shore, I heard Emmett call over the buoy ref that sat about ten yards away on his Sea Doo. I hoped Emmett got it over with quick; Collin was better than halfway back to the start buoy. I paddled into my first run of the heat. Although the surf was heavier, the rip tides were pulling back on the wave strength, causing them to crest and crash faster. The pipes we had this morning were gone, leaving behind high, vicious waves that raced in to batter the shoreline.

My run was smooth, solid, but without the panache I'd had earlier. I still gave it my best, pleased with the results. Turning out and heading back to the buoy, I could see a heated exchange going on between Emmett, Collin, and the ref. Mike had started his run and looked good. I'm sure he dealt with erratic surf conditions back home, what with all the rain Washington got. When I paddled closer, I heard Collin screaming at the ref, while he talked to the shore officials on his walkie talkie.

By the time I reached the buoy, Collin's face had turned beet-red under his tan. His eyes snapped, his body shaking with barely contained rage. Emmett had entered into his second run, the ref taking position right next to the opposite side of the start buoy, like he expected trouble. I focused on Emmett's run, or at least what I could see from the increasingly growing waves. The organizers were right to shorten the finals; the surf was becoming more dangerous by the minute.

Collin took off almost the second Emmett turned out of his run. Rather than try to watch him over the rising waves, I kept an eye on Emmett while he struggled to duck under the breakers that crashed over him on his way back to the start. Dangerous surf could be fun, but not when prize money was on the line. I looked back to where I'd last seen Collin surfing He'd just reached the end of his run, signaling his turn out, when the wave behind his side-swiped him. His board flipped, taking him under. He came up sputtering salt water, but undeterred, headed back out to the start.

I eyed the incoming set, trying to judge on a safe start. I caught sight of a decent valley and took off. While the wave lifted me, I popped to my stance when the board hit the crest. Shifting back, I drove the nose up, the fin carving down into the wave and turning off the shoulder. Cutting back, I could feel the consuming power of the pulsing water under my feet. The adrenaline rush was indescribable. I felt as insignificant as the sand being pulled away from the shore, even while I mastered the piece of shaped fiberglass under my feet.

Mindful of the following waves, I turned my board diagonal to the surf, instead of directly perpendicular at the end of my run. When the nose lifted, I dropped and wrapped my arms around the board, rolling over with it, and then ducking under the next wave. Fighting my way over and under the breaking water was exhausting and my arms and legs were burning from the strain on the muscles. Reaching where the others sat at the buoy, I heaved a sigh of relief. The clouds looked menacing, a light, cold rain beginning to fall.

The five minute warning sounded when Emmett took his wave. Whether or not I got off on a third run would depend on the length of Em's and how fast Collin caught his wave. Knowing the surf conditions, I didn't expect Em's run to take more than a couple minutes, but Collin could dick around on his start, guaranteeing the third run didn't happen. It was typical strategy and something we'd all done at one time or another.

Emmett's run finished clean and he made it to the shore safely. I could see the rest of our group crowding around him. The beach had been emptying all afternoon, with only a few diehards left. Turning to watch the waves again, I could see Collin dragging out his start. I shifted on my board, the waves rolling under and lifting me, racing to the shore. I saw Collin shift out of the corner of my eye, leaning over his board and letting the water carry him. He slid his hands into the water to slow his board in the trough, making sure he caught the wave square.

The ref's walkie talkie crackled and a disembodied voice wafted out.

"_Two minutes left and not too soon. The flags are up all down the beach. Be careful coming in." _

The ref responded and looked toward me. "Guess that's it."

Not taking my eyes off of Collin, I replied. "Yeah I guess so."

We both spoke too soon. Collin had been repositioning his feet to turn his board, when the water seemed to fall out from under him, pulled away by the rushing rip currents. The board somersaulted, throwing him under the breaking wave. Holding my breath, I watched his board bob out of the wave and waited for Collin to follow. He did and slapped the water around him in anger.

I heard the ref shout an all clear and I was gone, taking off in the face of the set moving in. The rain pounded the water, the howling wind blowing it vertical. It stung my skin, obscuring my vision. All I could see was the board under my feet and the wave beneath it.I concentrated on holding my balance, adrenaline coursing through my veins, the rush of danger my drug of choice. The sound of the final horn was carried away in the wind, lost in the howling fury. The storm arrived, hammering the oceanfront.

Looking back, I couldn't have described the run if my life depended on it. All I could recall was the power, the overwhelming, all-consuming fury that unleashed from the heavens. Reaching the shore, I snapped my leash, before sprinting for the tent my friends were crowded under. They'd gathered all my gear for me when they sought shelter. I pulled my slightly damp towel out of the duffle bag Alice held and swiped it across my face before dragging it across my hair.

"Ali, please check and see if there's a rubber band or something in my bag?" I asked, my head still under the towel, trying to absorb some of the moisture out of it. "I need to get my hair out of my eyes."

"I don't see anything Jas," she replied. "Esme, do you have anything in your bag Jas can use on his hair?" She looked at me when I flipped my hair out of my face. "You know, I could trim that when we get back to the house."

Bella pulled the hair tie from her own hair. "Here, Jas. I'll get it back from you later. My cap will keep mine back for now. Ignore Alice, you don't need a haircut."

Thanking her with a quick smile and a wink, I clubbed my hair back, dropping the towel around my shoulders. She nodded, continuing her conversation with Esme and Alice. I joined the guys, asking Emmett about what had happened out on the water with Collin.

"We reported him to the ref," Emmett replied, his tone crisp. "He called it into the officials and they're hitting Collin with penalty points. He kept screaming it was an accident, but the judges aren't buying it. Add that to his wipeout, and his ass won't even place. He's freaking out."

"Where is he?" I looked around, not seeing him, or the others in their group. Emmett motioned his head to the other tent, where Collin still argued with the officials. "Aaahhh, still trying to make his case?"

"Unsuccessfully, from the looks of things," Carlisle added, when Collin slammed his hand down on the table.

Embry grabbed his arm, pulling him away from the judges. I didn't see Paul anywhere, and that made me even more nervous, rather than relieved. I knew he wouldn't have left. Speculating on where he'd gone, I jumped when the loudspeaker crackled, the speaker right behind my head.

"_Ladies and Gentlemen, looks like we finished up just in time and ECSC would like to thank those of you that have held out, despite the weather conditions. After a final tabulation of all scores and assessing some needed penalty points, we have the results from our final event of the day, Masters Shortboards. In fourth place, Collin Atera from Waikiki, Hawaii. "_

The continuing announcement muffled Collin's outburst.

"_Third place, Mike Newton of Westport, Washington. And, for the first time in ECSC history, a tie for first place between Emmett McCarty of Coronado, California and Jasper Whitlock of Galveston, Texas. Thank you everyone for attending, and we hope to see you all back here next year."_

The end of the announcement disappeared, overpowered by the cheers of our friends and the others that had stayed to hear the results. Well, almost all the others. Collin kicked one of the tent supports, shaking the structure, then barreled through the crowd, Embry right behind him. The bimbo brigade must have given up when the rain started, they were noticeably absent. Emmett and I watched him storm away. I breathed a sigh of relief; it seemed like we had dodged a bullet with Paul and Collin gone.

We sent the others on back to the house, promising to folow as soon as we'd finished up with the photographers, reporters, and organizers. Things moved along quickly, though, the strengthening storm making everyone cautious and in a hurry to be on their way home to warmth and safety. Emmett and I finished with the organizers, then gathered up our gear to head off the beach. I couldn't wait to get home, get a shower, and put on dry clothes.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

By the time we reached the parking lot, most of the cars were gone and we were both drenched again. Unlike the warmth of the ocean, though, the driving rain beat against us, its effect cold and numbing, while the wind tore at .our boards. Our heads down, we struggled for purchase on the slippery pavement, not seeing the attack until it was too late.

Slammed to the ground, I looked up, expecting to see an unobservant straggler rushing for shelter. Instead, I met the glowering fury of Collin's gaze. Searching for Emmett, I saw his boards on the ground, he and Paul dancing around each other, looking for an opening Embry stood by, looking ready to bolt at any minute.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll keep your ass on the ground," Collin snarled. "We gotta score to settle with your buddy."

I didn't say a word, wincing when Paul landed a punch to Emmett's face, catching him above the cheek. Emmett moved his left hand up to shield his face and connected on a punch to Paul's stomach. When he doubled over, Emmett threw an upper cut that put him on his ass. The minute Paul fell, Collin tackled Emmett from behind. Pushing myself to my feet, I grabbed Collin, pulling him off my friend. Swinging him around, I threw a punch and felt the satisfying crunch of his nose under my fist.

"That's for snagging my line and costing me my position," I grunted, swinging across with the other hand, catching him on the jaw, his head snapping back. He swung wildly, nailing me in the ribs and knocking the breath out of me. I drove my shoulder into his chest when I doubled over, slamming him into the back of my truck. With one last blow to his face, I left him sprawled on the ground, not even trying to get up again, "and that's for being stupid enough to come after me and my friend."

I whirled to see Embry running for a car on the other side of the lot and Emmett with his hand around Paul's throat, throwing him back to the ground. Touching the darkening skin under his eye, Emmett winced, then kicked Paul in the side for good measure.

"You prick! I've got a date tomorrow. Get the fuck out of my town and don't come back."

Laughing, and wincing at the pain it caused me, I shook my head at Emmett's vanity. We stood side by side, watching Collin and Paul slink back to whatever hole they'd crawled out of. Our movements slowed by exhaustion and pain, we gathered our things from around the parking lot and dropped them in our vehicles. The pounding rain proved to be only an annoyance after the last few minutes.

"You okay to drive, Jas?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Let's get back to the house before that eye swells shut. Good thing Carlisle is there; I think we may need his help."

Nodding his head, he climbed into the Jeep while I pulled myself up into the truck. Wrapping my arm around my side, I drove carefully home, battling the weather and the numbing pain.

We pulled in the driveway right after each other, grabbed our stuff and stowed the boards under the deck. Walking in the front door, we dropped our bags on the floor. Our family and friends turned to greet us, their shouts of congratulations turned to gasps of shock when they saw us. Esme, Alice, and Bella rushed to our sides exclaiming over the bruises and blood.

"What the hell happened to you guys?" Edward yelled, while Carlisle asked Alice to run out to his car for his medical bag.

"Boys, come sit down and let me take a look at how bad it is." Shaking his head at Emmett's eye, Carlisle asked Edward to make a couple ice packs. I gingerly sat in the chair, Bella helping me. I didn't hear Carlisle asking where I hurt, stunned by the concern in Bella's eyes, where she hovered behind him, waiting to help. I focused only on her while Carlisle pressed against my damaged ribs. When I winced, she came to stand next to me, resting a comforting hand on my shoulder. I leaned into it, welcoming it. I'd worry about what it meant later.

* * *

_**Chapter title is from the Tom Waits song of the same name. **_

_**Please check out the Spencer Bell Memorial page and remember him fondly. 4 years ago the world lost a genius it did not even know it had. The friends and family of Spencer are doing a fantastic job of bringing awareness and research dollars to Adrenal cancer : **__**www(DOT)spencerbellmemorial(DOT)com**_

_**A group for fans of Going Under has been started on Facebook. There is a great bunch of ladies in here and we are always looking for more friends. Come join us to talk about the story, other fic recs, and just generally hang out wit ha group of like-minded adults who like to talk about stories and perv over pretty pictures of sexy men.**_

_**FB group:**__** www(DOT)facebook(DOT)com/#!/home(DOT)php?sk=group_145967552120329&ap=1**_

_**Reviews are love, and I'll let you kiss Jasper and Emmett and make it all better!**_


	11. Chapter 11: Make It Rain

_**Love and kisses and bewb gropes to my amazing beta/pre-reader team: nails 233, LaMomo, Willow, Manda, and hln3twimom. They keep me on track and make sure I make sense. Any errors are mine, cause I felt it necessary to play with stuff after they sent it back.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight, but the plotlines and situations are mine. If I owned Jasper, I'd kiss all his swollen parts and make them better!**_

_**Please do not reproduce, translate, caress, or fondle (or lick, nibble, or kiss for the girls from the fan group, for whom I have to be specific since they're abusing poor Jasper!) my story inappropriately in any way or I'll send Paul to ruin your beach party.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 11**

**Make It Rain**

"_Boys, come sit down and let me take a look at how bad it is." Shaking his head at Emmett's eye, Carlisle asked Edward to make a couple of ice packs. I gingerly sat in the chair, Bella helping me. I didn't hear Carlisle asking where I was hurt. I was too wrapped up in the concern in Bella's eyes, as she hovered behind him, waiting to help. I focused only on her as Carlisle pressed against my damaged ribs. When I winced, she moved to put a comforting hand on my shoulder. I leaned into it, welcoming it. I would worry later about what it meant._

"Jas - Jas, I need you to take your shirt off so I can check your ribs." Carlisle's voice finally broke through my reverie. "Emmett, stop being such a damn baby. Hold that ice pack on your eye and I'll get to you in a minute."

Bella stepped back to let Carlisle in to check on me, her hand slowly drifting away from my shoulder, as if she were afraid to break contact. When she moved into my line of sight, I shot her a half smile to let her know I was fine. Moving my arm carefully, I tugged my surf skin over my head, wincing again as the pain shot through my side and across my torso. Alice set Carlisle's bag on the table and went to sit with Bella, taking her hand.

"Okay, Jas. Let me help you to your feet. I'm going to need you to hold your arms across your chest, while I check you out. I need you to tell me where it hurts, and how bad, alright?"

I nodded my head, using the table for leverage to get to my feet. The pain was awful, but not unbearable. It reminded me of when I'd been kicked by my horse, Eclipse, the one time I'd been foolish enough to walk behind him. That had resulted in two cracked ribs; I had a sinking suspicion that had just happened again. While Carlisle poked and prodded at my side, running his hands across the tender area, I sucked in my breath, closing my eyes, but not before I saw Alice squeeze Bella's hand in reassurance.

"Well, Jas, without an x-ray, I can't be positive, but I'd say nothing's broken. There's definitely some deep bruising, though. There may be a hairline fracture, but other than taping you up, the hospital isn't going to do much more. Honestly, just restricting your movement and some pain meds is going to be your best bet. It's your call. Do you want me to wrap your ribs? The pressure will help with the pain."

"I have a compression bandage from when I bruised my ribs earlier this summer," I said. "My board flew up and caught me in the side. Will that work?"

When Carlisle confirmed it would, I asked if we could wait until after I took a shower. My muscles ached, not just from the fight, but from the rough surf conditions we'd battled all afternoon. Besides that, my scalp was still covered with sand, despite the downpour we'd walked to the cars in.

"Yes, Jas, that'll be fine. Go get cleaned up and I'll check out your hands when you come back down. That one finger concerns me, but it can wait. It certainly won't be any worse than the wait in a hospital emergency room would be."

I excused myself from the others and slowly moved toward the stairs, while Carlisle checked out Emmett, who'd been bitching and whining about his eye the entire time. Esme had cleaned the blood off his face and hands, taking care of cleaning up his battered knuckles. When Esme touched the bruised skin under his left eye, he bellowed like a caged bear. Reaching the landing, I heard Edward and Alice laughing while Carlisle told Emmett not to be such a baby.

Stepping into the shower, I groaned when the hot spray pounded on my shoulders, soothing the overused muscles. My finger hurt like hell and was crooked as shit. Carefully, I lifted my hands to scrub the sand out of my hair. Searing pain shot across my chest and my finger was throbbing. I hadn't even bothered to look in the mirror to see how bad my cheek was from the one punch Collin got in when he knocked me down. It didn't hurt too much, so it probably looked okay. All the real damage had come from when he body slammed me to the ground.

Getting dressed proved to be a chore, but I managed to get into some boxer briefs and a pair of low-slung sweatpants. Thinking it would be a hell of a lot easier than trying to pull a shirt on over my head, I grabbed the zip hoodie off the chair in the corner.

The howling wind buffeted the house, slanting the rain almost horizontal, causin it to sheet down the windows and sliding glass door. Emmett was stretched out on the sofa, while he and Carlisle checked the weather. Alice and Edward hovered around the stove, using a counter-top grill and the oven to cook the burgers and steaks. Esme and Bella worked together on side dishes at the island. Music played in the background, the group in the kitchen singing along with it, bouncing into each other, and having fun. I smiled at the sights and sounds of my friends. _My friends._ Yeah, they were. I was lucky as hell to have them.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

Carlisle bound my ribs before helping me get my hoodie on. He took my right hand in his to examine my little finger. Shaking his head, he looked at me.

"Jas, I thought the guy was after Em. How the hell did you end up looking worse than him?"

"Because a) your nephew is built like a brick shithouse, and b) no one body-slammed his ass, either," I replied ruefully. "I think my board actually caused the damage to my finger when I hit the ground. Is it broken?"

"No surprisingly, it isn't, just dislocated. I can pop it back into place here and splint it for a few days while it heals. It'll make school difficult the first couple of days, but give it a week or so and you should be able to just tape it. You ready?"

I told Carlisle it wouldn't be too inconvenient to be splinted and taped, since I'm left-handed. Squaring my shoulders, I nodded I was ready. Drawing in a deep breath to steel my nerves, I felt someone take my hand. Thinking it was Esme, acting maternal, I turned to smile and thank her.

It wasn't Esme. _Bella_.

Bella, who I'd just met a few days ago. Bella, who I'd ignored. Bella, who'd fascinated and tormented my mind for days. Her concerned smile distracted me so that I almost didn't notice Carlisle jerk my finger. Well, at least not until I felt the sharp pain of it popping back into place.

"Fucking hell!" I howled, when the pain hit me. I snapped my head back around to see him splinting and taping me up.

Bella grasped my hand tighter, whispering a reassurance that it was over. I leaned my head against her arm that stretched over my shoulder, feeling her free hand stroke my hair. Closing my eyes, I let her calm and peace wash over me, the same peace I'd been drawn to from a distance. Up close and for my benefit, it became a drug I couldn't, and didn't want to, resist.

Despite my desire to stay in the cocoon that Bella and I'd created, reality, and our friends, intruded. Well, actually, Emmett intruded.

"You gonna live, Jas?" he walked over to the table.

Reluctantly, I let go of Bella's hand, turning to look at him.

"Yeah, but don't expect me to save you from any other goons in the near future. Nice shiner you got there, by the way. You should look right damn pretty for your date tomorrow."

"Eh, whatever," he waved me off. "Dude, I'm so frigging sorry. If I'd had any idea…"

"Aw hell, Em. It wasn't your fault. Collin and Paul are cowards and punks. They waited until they knew no one would see them, then jumped out from behind parked cars. How the hell were you gonna know that?" Struggling to my feet, I faced him. "I'm just glad it wasn't worse for either of us. Give me a few days and I'll be ready to surf again."

Carlisle shook his head. "Jas, it's going to be more than a few days. Give it at least two weeks. Those ribs are pretty bad." Turning toward the kitchen, he continued "Now, I'm starving! How much longer until we eat?"

"Right now," Edward answered, carrying the plate of burgers to the table, while Alice plated the steaks she pulled from under the broiler. Carlisle waved me back to my chair when I tried to help. He and Emmett helped carry over the bowls of sides, also retrieving the piles of place settings Esme placed on the island for them.

We didn't let the storm or the fight put a damper on the evening after that. The weather pretty much ensured no one would be going anywhere anytime soon. While we ate, we debated what to do with the evening. Games, movies, music were all discussed, until we unanimously decided to put on some soft pop music and pull out an UNO deck. The numbers were uneven for teams so it became every man for himself. We made up house rules, too. You had to take a drink for every card you drew.

Emmett and I had played UNO often while on the road. It gave us something to do at night when drinking and barhopping got old. Emmett was a good sport, but damn easy to frustrate. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who knew it, either. Despite the pain in my ribs, I couldn't help but laugh at how Edward and Carlisle set Emmett up between them, continuously playing reverse and draw cards. They started out slow, and it wasn't very obvious, but by the fourth or fifth hand I'd caught on. So had the ladies. Emmett was pissed, in more ways than one.

"You guys fucking suck! I can't believe y'all are actually cheating, especially you, Carlisle!"

At that, the entire table erupted in laughter. Holding my side from the pain, I laughed even harder when Carlisle looked at Emmett, dead pan, and told him it was all about strategy. Esme didn't even bother to correct Em's language, probably because she was too busy trying to catch her breath and wipe the tears from her eyes. Emmett growled and stormed out of the room, saying something about going to the bathroom. While he was gone, we all stood up to stretch, Carlisle looking outside to check the storm that continued to rage around us. Edward popped on the TV to check the local news report. Bella and Alice grabbed fresh drinks for everyone, adding some chips and pretzels to attempt to absorb some of the alcohol we were consuming.

When the weather update finished, shots of flooded roads were shown from all over the city. That hadn't been something any of us considered earlier in the evening. I opened the front door to check outside. The driveway curved around and up to the house, which rested on a slight bottom of the driveway laid underwater, and from what I could see looking out toward the main road, it didn't look much better. The rain continued in a steady downpour, strong winds and frequent gusts causing the standing water to ripple like waves off the ocean. Carlisle had parked low on the double driveway and the water was halfway up his tires.

Turning back to the room, I let the others know how bad things were. "I hope no one had plans to leave tonight. The driveway and roads are flooded out from what I can see. Emmett or I might be able to make it out in the Jeep or the truck, but the cars will never make it. Matter of fact, Carlisle, if you give me your keys, I'll go pull the Mercedes up under the carport. The ground there sits higher than where it is now."

"No, Jas, I got it," he pulled out his keys. "The last thing you need is to slip and lose your balance."

He headed out to move the car, while we discussed sleeping arrangements for the night. I offered my room to Carlisle and Esme. When Esme protested about putting me out, I quickly assured her that wasn't the case. There was no way I'd be able to lay flat to sleep, so I'd already planned to sleep in one of the recliners on the sectional. Before Emmett could offer his room, Bella said she'd be fine on the sofa or the living room floor.. Emmett looked at me, eyebrow raised, but wisely kept his mouth shut, other than to tell Bella that if she changed her mind, he'd take the sofa.

Since everyone would be staying put, we got back to the game. Alice switched to more upbeat music, dancing her way back to the table as Katy Perry's 'Teenage Dreams' blared out of the surround system. Emmett insisted on changing seats at the table, moving away from his uncle and cousin. Bella dropped into the chair next to me.

"I hope you don't mind the company in the living room, Jas," she whispered. "I just can't imagine someone Em's size on the sofa. He wouldn't be comfortable and it would probably kill the frame." She finished with a light giggle and I couldn't help but agree with her. Even when he lounged on the sectional in the evenings while watching TV, he looked ridiculous, just like Will Farrell had playing a human sleeping in an elf-sized bed.

The game continued for a few more hours; the more we drank, the crazier the house rules became. The one that finally broke everything up occurred when we had to make barnyard noises and drink before drawing. Emmett strutting through the living room in his version of a chicken proved too much for our inebriated minds; hysteria ensued. Esme and Carlisle had retired an hour or so earlier, so we all shushed each other in an attempt to not disturb them, but that was just too much. The girls literally fell out of their chairs while I cried from laughter and pain, when the muscles around my ribs were pulled and stretched. Standing to ease the pain, I wiped my eyes. That turned out to be futile. When I met Edward's glance, we both fell apart again.

"Oh God," I gasped out, my arm wrapped around my side. "I think I need another drink. I sure as hell can't take the pain meds, so let's shoot for comfortably numb from alcohol."

Edward agreed, grabbing a few more beers out of the fridge.

"Okay, guys, lets try to be considerate of Mom and Dad. I'm still wide awake and could go for a movie. Anyone else?" he passed the bottles around.

"It works for me," Ali leaned up to give him a kiss, "but I want to go grab a shower and change. I still have sand and salt in unmentionable places. Bella? I know we aren't the same size, but I'm sure we can find something for you to change into."

"I've got clean clothes, but a shower would be great," Bella looked thoughtful. "Well, and maybe a pair of sweats or something? Jean shorts are gonna be a little uncomfortable for sleeping."

"Uhm, Bella," I cleared my throat, my voice still scratchy from all the laughter. "I have tons of sweats, you can borrow a pair of mine. You're welcome to use my shower, too, or there is…uh…one in the hallway."

I had to rethink my offer when the thought of Bella in my space, in my shower, brought back other memories. I felt my body tighten in response and I struggled to maintain my composure. The loose sweat pants I wore weren't going to do much to hide my train of thought if I didn't pull it together. Mentally shaking myself, I focused back on the conversation.

"…and conditioner you can borrow. I even have body wash here that doesn't reek of 'guy', too, Bells."

"Yeah, that'll be fine, Ali. Jas, thanks for offering the sweats. Just let me grab my bag, them I'll head up so we can watch that movie. I don't care what you guys pick, but maybe something funny? From the looks of that rack, there are plenty of options."

Emmett started lobbying for Russell Brand in 'Get Him to the Greek', while Alice searched for a romantic comedy. Determined to not get pulled into the video argument, I headed upstairs to grab Bella some sweats. Turning away from my door, I bumped into her in the hall. Both of us jumped back, like child pulling a hand away from a hot stove.

"Oh. Hey. Uh…here are the sweats." I stammered, trying to look anywhere but into the deep brown eyes that stared up at me. "Let me grab some towels for you." I stepped to the side, reaching around her to the closet she stood in front of. "Uhm…they're right in here."

"Oh. OH!" She started out of her reverie, "I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine." I pulled the door open with a little more force than necessary, mostly to be able to stand behind it while I took a deep breath and calmed my racing heart. Pulling out the towels, I reached around the door to hand them to her. "The bathroom's the door behind you on the left. Do you need anything else?"

"No, I think I'm good. Alice said everything I'd need should be in there already. I'll be quick, uhm, so we can watch the movie."

She gazed up at me from under her thick, dark lashes and I was lost. Standing face to face in the quiet, dark hallway, I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. With a muttered apology, I leaned forward, brushing my lips against hers. When she gasped, her mouth opened and I pulled her bottom lip between my lips, sliding my hand up under her hair. Trying to steady myself to pull away, I felt the towels drop to the floor at my feet only seconds before Bella's hands slid up my chest, resting one over my pounding heart, the other against my cheek.

I deepened the kiss, tasting her while my tongue slowly swept across her lips before sliding into her waiting mouth. With gentle, tentative hands, I pulled her closer while I explored her, the sweet alcohol taste from her drink teasing my taste buds. When I reluctantly pulled away, I heard her breath catch then she sighed against my lips before resting her head against the arm I'd braced against the doorframe.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't' mean…I shouldn't have…" while I stumbled over the right words to say, Bella looked up at me again. Placing a light kiss on the corner of my mouth, she wordlessly slid under my arm. I struggled to pull myself together so I could face her. She spoke before I could turn around, her voice just above a whisper.

"I'm not."

The bathroom door closed with a quiet click before I heard the lock turn and the rush of the water from the shower.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

While I would have liked to wait outside the bathroom until Bella came out, my rational mind overrode my stalker tendencies. In contemplative silence, I walked down the stairs, not noticing Alice standing on the landing.

"Jas?" I looked up, pulled out of my mental self-flagellation by her questioning tone. "Everything okay? You aren't in too much pain are you?"

"No, I'm good. I…errrmm…I kissed Bella." I looked at her, the shock of what happened rolling over me. "What the hell am I gonna do now?"

Then Alice did the last thing I expected. She laughed, while I stared at her, my expression incredulous. What the hell was she laughing about?

"It's fine, Jas. YOU'RE fine. Why do you have to 'do' anything? Just let things play out the way they're supposed to. I told you. Trust fate."

Remembering the rest of what Alice had told me just two days prior, I stepped out on the limb I'd avoided too long.

"Alice, are you and Edward going to be home tomorrow afternoon? Like, maybe when Emmett is off on his date? There are some things I need to talk to you guys about, some things about Galveston I need you to know."

"Sure, we'll be here. I'll just let Edward know. Are you sure you are ready to do this?"

"Yeah, It's time. If I want any chance of seeing where things might go with Bella, I need to face this. I just hope you guys are still my friends after that."

Alice laid her land on my arm in reassurance. "It'll be fine Jas. 'Shared sorrow is half sorrow, shared joy is double joy.' We'll deal with the sad tomorrow. For tonight, let's just celebrate your wins and let me be happy that my oldest friend and my newest friend may have found something in each other."

I agreed. Alice continued up to get a shower, while I made my way into the living room. Apparently, Emmett couldn't wait for us all to get back. He and Edward were playing Call of Duty while they waited for the girls. I walked over to check the weather outside. Sliding open the patio door, I noticed that the rain had stopped, but the wind still whipped around the house, tossing debris along the shore.

I stepped out onto the deck, walking to the rails to watch the waves pounding the shore, the crashing sound reverberating off the beachfront homes before the wind carried it away. Clouds scuttled across the face of the moon, playing hide and seek with the stars. The crisp air was heavy with the taste of salt spray; while sea, sand, and foliage combined into a heady scent that couldn't be recreated outside of nature.

Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out my little used pack of cigarettes. They were more of a nervous tick than a habit. I only smoked when I needed to clear my head. It worked as well as my sleeping pills did, but without the shitty after feeling in the morning. I'd had the pack for almost a week now, and I'd only smoked five cigarettes. Well, now six.

While the smoke filled my lungs, I closed my eyes and leaned against the porch rail. Bella's words echoed in my mind when I replayed the scene from the hallway over and over. I hadn't meant to lose control like that. Even though I was attracted to Bella, her friendship meant more me than anything else, and she deserved to know the truth before things went too far.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

The movie had just begun when I came back inside. Edward and Alice were stretched out on the floor, Emmett had collapsed in one of the recliners, leaving me with the option of the other recliner or the sofa with Bella. Surprising both of us, I sat down next to her, propping my feet up on the table. Bella glanced at me, a questioning look in her eyes, a hint of disappointment around the edges. Pushing her still damp hair behind her ear, I gave her a half smile.

"I didn't mean that the way it came out," I whispered. "I just need some time to wrap my head around everything. I don't regret kissing you, I just didn't think it would happen this fast."

Intent, she stared into my eyes, her tiny teeth worrying her bottom lip. Finding some comfort in what she saw there, I could see the tension wash from her body.

Entwining my fingers in hers, I squeezed her hand, "Are we good?"

"Yes," she whispered back. "Just - don't take too long, okay?"

When I nodded in agreement, she settled back into the sofa, laying her head on my shoulder. Our hands rested on her leg, mine large and tan, hers slim and white, yet somehow they looked like they belonged together.

Bella fell asleep before the movie was half over. Her deep, even breaths soothed my jangled nerves. More than once, she murmured in her sleep, snuggling in closer against my side. She never removed her hand from mine bringing the other arm across her body to rest that hand against my chest. I felt content.

When the movie ended, Emmett staggered out of the chair. His eyes went wide when he saw Bella curled around me on the sofa.

"Fuck, Jas!" He loudly whispered. "You and Bells?"

Alice and Edward were just getting to their feet and both whipped their heads around to see what the hell Emmett was talking about. Alice's face lit up with a broad smile, while Edward just gave the inquisitive eyebrow quirk I'd come to associate with him pondering something. He slowly nodded, pulling Alice to his side. Emmett started to open his mouth to say something else, until I shot him a look that had caused smaller men to cringe in fear. He stepped back, hands in the air.

"Dude, it's cool, I'm just surprised is all. I'm heading to bed. We'll talk tomorrow."

When Alice walked past the back of the sofa, she stroked Bella's hair, then rested a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

Leaning down, she whispered, "You guys look right. Edward and I will be ready when you are tomorrow."

I knew Emmett would have a ton of questions tomorrow. I'd deal with him then. For now, that conversation was the least of my worries.I worried more about the one I'd have with Edward and Alice, one that could shatter the new life I'd begun building. Praying I hadn't misplaced my faith in my friends, I slowly shifted Bella so that she laid on the sofa, her head cushioned on a throw pillow against my leg. I traced the contours of her face with entle strokes, then rested my arm against her side, taking her hand in mine again. I'd have liked nothing better than to stare at her all night, but the events of the day had worn me out. Leaving my head resting against the high back of the sofa, my face turned toward Bella, I allowed my eyes to drift shut. For the first time in longer than I could remember, I slept peacefully, without dreams, without drugs.

* * *

_**Chapter title is from the Tom Waits song of the same name. **_

_**Please check out the Spencer Bell Memorial page and remember him fondly. Four years ago the world lost a genius it didn't even know it had. The friends and family of Spencer are doing a fantastic job of bringing awareness and research dollars to Adrenal cancer in his memory: www . **_

_**A group for over 18 fans of Going Under has been started on Facebook. They are a great bunch of ladies we're always looking for more friends. Come join us to talk about the story, other fic recs, and just generally hang out. We are some pervy h00rs, so be prepared for fuckery!**_

_**FB group: www*DOT)facebook.(DOT)com/groups/GoingUnder/?ap=1**_

_**Reviews are as much fun as drunk UNO and almost as wonderful as a sofa snuggle with Jasper!**_


	12. Chapter 12: Once Upon a Town

_**Love and kisses and bewb gropes to my amazing beta/pre-reader team: LaMomo, Willow, cherrypie0192, and hln3twimom. They keep me on track and make sure I make sense. Any errors are mine, cause I don't know when to leave well enough alone.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight but the plotlines and situations are mine. If I owned Jasper, I would've pulled him in the bathroom with me!**_

_**Please do not reproduce, translate, caress, or fondle (or lick, nibble, or kiss for the girls from the fan group, for whom I have to be specific since they're abusing poor Jasper!) my story inappropriately in any way or I'll send Paul to ruin your beach party.**_

_**IMPORTANT: Long ass author's note at the end—make sure you read!**_

_**

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**_

**CHAPTER 12**

**Once Upon a Town**

_I knew Emmett would have a ton of questions tomorrow. I would deal with him then. That conversation was the least of my worries. It was the one I would have with Edward and Alice that could possibly shatter the little bits of the new life I was building. Praying my faith in my friends was not misplaced, I slowly shifted Bella so that she was lying on the sofa, her head cushioned on a throw pillow against my leg. I gently traced the contours of her face and rested my arm against her side to take her hand in mine again. I would have liked nothing better than to stare at her all night, but the events of the day had worn me out. Leaving my head resting against the sofa, my face turned toward Bella, I allowed my eyes to drift shut. And for the first time in longer than I could remember, I slept peacefully, without dreams, without drugs. _

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Pain. Pain and peace. How the hell was it possible to feel both at the same time? The weight on my chest was the least of my worries. It was the pain that shot through my entire body when I tried to move. I needed to move. The hand resting on my thigh was dangerously close to discovering exactly what effect the woman it belonged to had on me.

As I shifted my body, trying to ease out from under Bella without waking her, I saw her dark eyelashes flutter gently against her cheeks, mere seconds before her eyes opened. Looking up at me, her eyes soft and the lids still heavy with sleep, a brilliant smile lit her face.

Unable to help myself, I leaned down and brushed a light kiss across her lips. "Good morning, beautiful." I whispered against them.

"It wasn't a dream brought on by too much alcohol, was it?' she asked, her eyelids drifting shut again as she placed a hand over her mouth to hide a yawn.

Chuckling, I brushed her sleep-tousled hair away from her face. "Depends on what you remember."

"I…" she began, sliding up to lean closer, "remember…" she placed a hand on my cheek and one on the sofa arm to brace herself, "this." And she pressed her lips to mine, nipping my bottom lip and opening to my tongue as I teased across the bow in her top lip. Deepening the kiss, I pulled her closer, but winced again at the pain that shot through my body. Feeling my body tense up, Bella reluctantly pulled away.

"Oops. Sorry, I guess I got carried away."

Ignoring the pain, I pulled her closer and kissed her again. "We both got carried away, but its okay. I should probably take a couple of those pain pills Carlisle left out for me, though."

Bella murmured her agreement and slid away from me to get up. She gave me a hand to pull myself up, and then headed toward the bathroom. Moving slowly, I walked into the kitchen, searching for the pill bottle Carlisle had left out the night before. I swallowed a couple with a bottle of water I pulled from the fridge. After all of the beer from the night before, I felt a little dehydrated, and the cotton mouth fucking sucked. I was starving, too. Looking at the clock, I realized it was still early.

I stepped out onto the deck to see how bad the storm damage was. The heavy winds were gone, but a strong, steady breeze blew through the sea grass, causing it to dance in the shadowy pre-dawn light. The sun hadn't quite broken the horizon, yet the ocean had already taken on the bronzed tones of the emerging light. The high cresting waves rushed in to kiss the beach and as they retreated, broken shells and seaweed were left to clutter the shore.

Lost in watching the waves, I didn't hear the sliding door open and close. I was so relaxed; I didn't even jump when Bella laid her hand on my arm. Instead, I pulled her body between mine and the railing and whispered into her hair.

"Watch, Bella. This is one of the most beautiful things you'll ever see."

Within seconds, the rising sun crested the horizon, the fiery colors sparking off the water and creating an almost surreal contrast to the waning night that colored the higher skies in deep blues and purples. It was, in a word, breathtaking. Bella settled against me and gasped at the beauty Mother Nature graced the world with that morning. With the beach completely deserted and the sounds of traffic non-existent, it was easy to believe the show was just for the two of us.

Leaning her head to the side, Bella glanced up at me. Her eyes shone, the morning light reflected in them. Whispering as if to preserve the serenity that we were surrounded by, she expressed her delight.

Oh my! If I could wake to that every morning, I'd never sleep in again. Thanks for sharing it, Jas! That was amazing!"

The childlike delight on her face was enchanting. Wrapping her tighter in my arms, I kissed the tip of her nose. When her eyes fluttered shut and she sighed, I kissed her eyelids, too. I could have stood there for hours, holding her and looking at the waves, but my stomach had different ideas. It rumbled loudly, reminding me that I had eaten very little last night.

Bella laughed lightly. "Come on, I will make you something to eat. Everyone else will start drifting downstairs soon. We can cook for them, too."

The idea of watching Bella in my kitchen, wearing my sweats and cooking for me, appealed to the chauvinist in me. But I wanted to spend some time with her alone. I barely knew anything about her and I wanted to know everything I could. Selfish, I knew, since I wasn't ready to talk about all the skeletons in my own closets. Still holding her, I offered another option.

"Can I take you to breakfast? I'd like to spend some time with you without all our friends around." Taking a stuttering, shallow breath, I continued, "We didn't get to talk much about anything other than surfing and I want to know more about you. Please?"

Bella stared intently in my eyes, looking for I don't know what. Apparently satisfied with what she saw, she nodded. "How could I turn down an invitation like that? But it's only fair to tell you, my life is not very exciting. Honest." She looked down at her clothes and pulled a wry smile. "I hope you don't want to do anything fancy. All I have is jean shorts and the very wrinkled t-shirt I am wearing. As comfortable as your sweats are, they are WAY too big on me to leave the house in."

"I can give you a clean shirt to wear. I was thinking maybe just one of the little restaurants on the Strip, if that's okay with you? Oh and the sweats, you can keep them—they look way better on you than they do on me."

Bella blushed, the color staining her cheeks a telling deep pink. Stepping away, I took her by the hand and led her in the house and up to my room to grab a t-shirt. I pulled out the ECSC promo shirt I had received from the organizers when I registered for the tournament. I tossed it across the room to her, where she was stroking her hands across Anabelle.

"Do you play?" she asked, her fingers lightly strumming across the strings.

Watching her fingers play across the guitar, I felt an unnatural surge of heat hit me in the gut. All I could think of was her hands stroking me the same way, playing my body, bringing it to life. With a small moan, I turned back toward the dresser, grabbing my own clothes and trying to quell the fire Bella was innocently sparking.

"Are you okay? Are your ribs hurting? Do you want me to get Carlisle?" Bella was instantly concerned and crossed to my side.

"No, no. I'm good. The pain pills are working. It's just…just…oh hell!" And without thinking, my hand snaked around Bella's neck, pulling her closer and my lips took hers, desire making me reckless.

Nipping her lip, my mouth was demanding on hers, passion welling inside of me. My ass was up against the dresser and Bella's body slipped between my thighs, pressing into my hips, the desire I had for her more than evident. Instead of pulling away, she slid closer, her hands fisting my hair, her lips and tongue as fevered as my own. My other hand slid across her waist, cupping her ass and drawing her hips tighter against mine. Bella moaned against my mouth at the pressure and ground against me. I felt her hand slide under the edge of my shirt, lightly stroking my side and chest, her kisses becoming more heated and even bolder.

As much as I wanted to take her to bed and make love to her, there was no way in hell it was happening today. Aside from the fact that the aches and pains all over my body would make it miserable, I didn't want to rush this. Bella deserved better than a half-assed fuck. Hell, Bella deserved better than me, but I was selfish enough that I would do what I had to in order to be good enough for her.

Mustering the shreds of my self-control, I reluctantly moved my hands to Bella's waist and set her body away from mine before withdrawing from her luscious mouth. Dropping my head against her shoulder, I closed my eyes and shuddered as I reined in my raging hormones. I could feel Bella's ragged breathing under my forehead. Hesitantly, she placed her hands lightly on my thighs, careful to keep them to the outside.

Nuzzling her lips against my ear, she kissed me lightly on my neck.

"Jas?" she questioned.

Looking up to meet her eyes, I could see the questions there and I sought to reassure her.

"Bella, we can't do this." I placed a light kiss on the corner of her mouth to take the sting out of my words. "I want to, darlin', God I want to, but we need to wait."

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "I'm sorry! I forgot about your ribs. I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No, sweetheart, you didn't and my ribs aren't the only reason. I seriously want to do this right. I need time to wrap my head around the last 24 hours. You were the last thing I expected, but in a good way. Let's just give it some time, okay?"

Bella nodded, her teeth worrying her bottom lip between them. I noticed she did that when she was nervous or concerned about something. Using the pad of my thumb, I gently tugged it out, and then placed a light kiss on the red marks she had left behind.

"Go get dressed!" I said, giving her a light slap on the ass. "I'm starving!"

Bella jumped and giggled, heading out of the room. She stopped at the door long enough to tell me she would see me downstairs. As soon as she closed the door behind her, I slumped back against the dresser. Scrubbing my hands over my face and through my hair, I blew out a deep breath. Fucking hell! I needed to get some shit straightened out. Dying of a perpetual case of blue balls was not how I wanted to go.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

Breakfast turned into two hours of conversation, interspersed with occasional bites of food. The restaurant, hell the whole strip, was pretty quiet after last night's storm. A lot of the roads were still flooded, trees and power lines were down all over the city, and the fed flags were still up on the beach. Actually, we had been lucky to find anything open.

Bella and I talked about everything and anything. She told me about her parents, Charlie and Renee, and what it was like to go from being an Army brat who lived all over the world to living in a small town like Forks. I heard stories about Alice from when they were in high school, things I bookmarked for later reference if I ever needed to blackmail the pixie. But most of all, I heard Bella. I heard the love she had for her family and friends, the excitement as she recalled places she had been growing up and the humor as she talked about the pranks she and Alice would pull on each other and their friends.

I was able to gloss over much of my past by asking questions that directed the conversation back to Bella. I did mention my parents, but only in passing. I spent more time telling her about my sisters, Alexis and Ashlinn, 16 year old twins. She asked what it was like growing up in Texas and I told her about how much I loved to ride. I told her about wanting to make a trip to the stables near the base so I could make arrangements to move my horse, Apocalypse, to Virginia. Bella confessed to never having been horseback riding and I promised to teach her.

After the eighth round of coffee and the third dirty look from the waitress, I settled our bill and took Bella back to the house. On the drive there, I dropped my cell phone in her lap and asked her for her number. She punched it in, and then called her own phone to save mine in hers. I waited outside by the truck while she went inside to grab her stuff and say goodbye to Alice. She was starting classes the next day, too. As much as I wanted to keep her with me all day, I knew it was better if she left anyway. Alice and Edward and I had shit to talk about and I wasn't ready to talk to Bella about it yet.

Leaning against the side of her decrepit old truck, she thanked me again for breakfast. Leaning in against her, my hands on either side of her body, boxing her in, I kissed her deeply again.

"Can I call you later, darlin'?" I asked, playing up my accent.

Her eyes widened and darkened, obviously turned on by it. "Jas, if you promise to talk to me like that, you can call me whenever you want," she answered breathlessly.

"You've got yourself a deal, then," I drawled, causing her to smile. "How about dinner later on this week? We can compare our schedules and see what works when I call."

Nodding wordlessly, she kissed me, then slid under my arm and pulled herself into the truck. As it choked to life, I shook my head. What a piece of shit.

"Bella, hon, are you sure this is even safe to drive? I think there is more rust than metal on the frame and the engine sounds half dead."

"Hey, cowboy, don't hate on the truck! It gets the job done and it was a gift from my dad when I first started driving. I have a sentimental attachment to it."

"MMhhhmm," I murmured, knocking on the frame above the door. "We may have to find you something new to get attached to." And leaning in the open window, I gave her one more kiss before she drove off.

Future plans. For the first time in a long time, I was considering a relationship with more than my right hand. Last night and this morning had taken us out of the realm of just being friends, but no way in hell was I rushing things. When Bella and I became lovers, and there was no doubt in my mind that it would happen, I was going to be her friend, too.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

Carlisle insisted on checking my finger and ribs when I got back inside. He still didn't feel a need for me to go to the hospital, but warned me again to limit my activities for the next several days, especially no surfing. Usually after a competition, if we didn't have another one right after, I would take a day or two off, but was then right back in the water every morning, I wasn't thrilled at the idea of not being able to surf. It was more than something I did; it was a part of who I was. Sensing my internal conflict, Carlisle warned me of the dangers of a full break in one of my ribs, using the worst case scenarios to convince me to follow doctor's orders. He told me if I was good the first two weeks, he didn't think some light surfing would hurt after that. Holding onto that possibility, I acquiesced.

Carlisle and Esme left not long after that, needing to pick their things up from the hotel before driving back to Richmond. They promised to visit again soon. Esme would be decorating a house in the Fall Home-a-Rama in Chesapeake and that was only a couple months away. I was certain we would see them often while she was getting the house ready, and I looked forward to it. Spending time with Edward's parents was like having a set of my own that actually gave a shit.

Emmett was bouncing off the walls. You would have thought he had never been on a date before, with the way he was acting. He all but begged me to play video games with him to keep him distracted until he had to get ready. As much as I wanted to refuse and take a couple pain pills and lay down, I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Besides, I was on such a high from Bella, that I was feeling a bit magnanimous. That's probably why I didn't give him any shit, just grabbed a controller and settled into the recliner for an hour or so of mindless destruction.

Alice and Edward were conspicuously absent most of the afternoon. Whether they were making up for lost opportunities the night before, or just recovering from massive hangovers, I had no idea. I was going to have plenty of time to talk with them later on that night. Emmett, though, nosy bastard that he was, started on me about Bella while we were playing.

"So, Bella, huh?" He asked, maneuvering a tank through the small town we were supposed to be defending.

"Em, dude, I swear, don't fucking start on me," I warned him. "I'm not in the mood for your bullshit today. Let me enjoy my little emotional high in peace."

"Hey, man, it ain't like that. I'm just surprised, is all. I've known you awhile, Jas, and you never get involved. Sure you've slept with a couple chicks over the years, but cuddling up on the sofa, hanging out with friends, relaxed and comfortable? That's something new. Even if I didn't already like Bells, I'd be frigging ecstatic if it kept you from turning into a hermit."

Flabbergasted at Emmett's monologue, I stared at him. Shit, he was a lot more frigging observant than I had given him credit for.

"Dude, it's cool. You like her?"

"Yeah, Em, I do. I didn't expect it and I'm not rushing things. I want to be friends with her, not just fuck buddies."

Do NOT tell me you were bumping uglies on the sofa last night after we went to bed! That shit ain't right! What if one of us walked in? Oh dude, what if Aunt Esme walked in?"

"Damn Em, give me credit!" I was pissed. "I have a bit more frigging class than to sleep with some chick I just met on the sofa in our house, with a shit ton of other people in the house! That's your territory, not mine."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He paused for a few minutes concentrating on the game. I figured he was gonna drop it when he kept his mouth shut for almost ten minutes. Again, I underestimated him. "Well, you'll tell me when you do, right? I mean, I want details."

Rolling my eyes, I threw a hand grenade at his character. I think the resultant dismemberment underscored the likelihood of my telling him shit.

"Fuck Dude! You could have just said no!" He bellowed. "You better be damn glad I need to go get dressed. That shit was fucked up, Jas. Next time, it's your ass."

Laughing, I tossed the controller at him and settled back into the recliner, closing my eyes. "You don't scare me Em. Now go get prettified for 'Tow Girl'. Since you have no scruples, I know I'll get all the details later, even if I don't want them. I'll make sure I have bleach to scrub the mental images away afterward."

Huffing, Emmett turned everything off and barreled up the stairs. I stayed in the chair, willing my body to relax. My muscles ached all over. Sleeping on the sofa probably hadn't helped that, either, but waking up with Bella made the pain worth it. The temperature had evened out with the passing of the storm and all the windows and sliding doors were open. The whistling of the wind and the pounding of the surf combined with the shrieks of the gulls that picked through the debris left behind by the storm. No tranquilizer invented by man would ever top the ones created by Mother Nature. Lulled, I fell asleep with thoughts of Bella teasing an unconscious smile to my lips.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

I didn't sleep long. The smell of fresh brewing coffee tickled my nose and I took a deep breath, tasting it on my tongue. Opening my eyes and listening, I heard Emmett moving around upstairs and Alice and Edward's voices drifted through the open door from the deck. Slowly getting to my feet, I carefully stretched, putting my arm across my body so as not to overstrain the muscles around my ribs. Surprisingly, I wasn't as sore as I had been an hour earlier, but I'm sure that was in large part due to the pain meds Carlisle had left for me. Stumbling into the kitchen, I made a cup of coffee and joined the others on the deck.

Alice was sitting on Edward's lap so I excused myself and turned to go back inside, not wanting to interrupt anything. They both called me back, assuring me that I wasn't intruding. Alice moved into one of the other chairs, plopping her feet into Edward's lap. He winced, and shifted them slightly, but left them in his lap, after shooting a warning glance at Alice.

"Emmett leaving soon?" I asked, knowing that Alice had probably done some wardrobe and etiquette coaching while I was asleep.

"Yes, he said he has to pick up…" Alice snapped her fingers, trying to trigger her memory. "Rosalie, that's it! Said he had to pick Rosalie up by 6. He wants to be early. Apparently she gave him several ultimatums about how the date was going to go. Being late was a definite no-go."

"Honestly, I am dying to meet this girl. Anyone who can drag my cousin around by the nose is the perfect fit for him." Edward laughed. "I like that she isn't intimidated by his size. He doesn't need to date someone who is going to give into him all the time. It would never work. He'd get bored way too easily."

"So Jas, I guess you and Bella decided you can be friends?" Alice asked, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

I smirked and replied, "What? You haven't talked to her yet? I'm disappointed! I'd figured you called her right after she pulled out of the driveway."

"She tried," Edward joked, "but apparently Bella didn't answer. I heard her griping about it from the other room."

"OHHHH! Damn it Edward! I wasn't prying; I was just trying to…"

"Pry?" He teased. "It's okay babe, girls got to talk, we understand."

"Whatever," she said, flouncing back into her chair, trying to be mad at Edward and failing miserably. Turning to me, she continued, "So, what's the deal?"

I was saved from answering Emmett's appearance at the door. asking Alice for help with getting his tie straight. I noticed he was as nervous as a cat in a roomful of rocking chairs. I opened my mouth to make a smartass comment, but was silenced by a withering look from Alice.

"You are all set, Emmett," she said, smoothing his collar down over the suit lapels. "Are you leaving already?"

"Mmmhhhmm," he confirmed, while checking his pockets for his wallet, keys, and phone. "I'm gonna stop and grab some flowers, too. I figure if the date is part of an apology, I needed to go the whole nine yards."

Edward and I wished him well, barely hiding the smirks that slid across our mouths. Luckily for us, Alice was walking him to the door with some last minute advice, so we were spared the ass chewing she would have certainly delivered.

"Alice said you needed to talk to us," Edward stated, not really asking a question, but establishing a fact. "Want to grab some food to go with the conversation?"

"No, I don't think I can eat first." I swallowed hard, a thick lump forming in my throat at the thought of finally talking this shit out. Every doubt I had ever had about confiding in someone reared its ugly head and I nervously scrubbed my hands across my thighs a few times, before running them through my hair. "But, uhm, maybe we could go inside. You guys might want to be comfortable for this and I am gonna need some water or something."

Edward nodded his head, a look of puzzled sympathy in his eyes. But I still saw the one thing that was giving me the strength to do this. I saw friendship.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

"Maria and I had known each other since we were 13 years old. She and her group of friends were already crushing on boys, while my group of friends was still too interested in video games and porn magazines to give a shit about the girls developing right in front of our eyes. We went to junior high together, hung out in the same group of kids. Her cousin Mark was one of my best friends.

"I didn't know Maria had a crush on me for another three years. Then, one night at a party during our sophomore year of high school, she walked in the room and it was like I was seeing her for the first time. Gone was the gangly girl that had followed us around and pestered the shit out of us. Left behind was a beautiful dark swan. Her hair was raven black and fell in a riotous mess around her face. Her pitch eyes snapped with excitement and danger, and her full lips held a promise of desires unfulfilled. I wanted her for my own, had to have her.

"Our families didn't run in the same social circles. My parents have money. A lot of money. My great grandfather established some of the first oil rigs in Galveston and all the men in our family had only added to the wealth over the years. My father ran the company he had built from the ground up. Maria's mom was a live-in cook and housekeeper for one of my mom's bridge partners that lived in our neighborhood. So, we went to school together, but it was definitely a case of have and have-nots.

"I didn't care. I had never bought into the class hierarchy my parents thrived in. My friends were my friends; their financial portfolios didn't mean shit. When I started dating Maria, my parents had humored it as teenaged rebellion to the life they had planned out for me. As the months flowed into years, though, I started to feel pressure from them about needing to find "the right woman" to be by my side for when I took over Whitlock Oil Holdings. My answer to that was to follow Maria to Texas A&M, where she had gotten a scholarship, instead of my dad's alma mater, University of Texas. He wanted me to study business and get my MBA before joining the company, I wanted to study Marine Biology and learn how to mitigate the impact our business had on the marine ecology it affected.

"Looking back now, I would say that every decision I made was done to piss off my parents. I am sure staying with Maria was one of those decisions. We had moved in together, had even talked about getting married. Maria was pushing for a commitment, but I wanted to wait until after I graduated college and could support her the way I thought she deserved. She was convinced I was stringing her along, not marrying her to keep my parents at bay. We had several fights about it all through that winter and on more than one occasion she left me, swearing it was over, but somehow we always ended up back together.

"Near the end of March, she had started being really secretive. She was staying out late with her friend Nettie, or not coming home at all. If I walked in the room and she was on the phone, she would hang up quickly. I overhead her speaking in angry tones to someone, but never heard the words. When I questioned her, she said she was arguing with her mom about the fact that we were still living together. Everything she said and did was designed to make me feel guilty."

I paused to take a drink of water, my throat dry as dust and my hands trembling. To their credit, Edward and Alice hadn't said a word while I spoke; only nodding to show they were listening and following what I was telling them. We were sitting in the living room and Alice had sat at the end of the sofa near the arm chair I was in. She wordless took my hand in hers, as if she were lending me her strength.

I smiled at her tightly, the strain making it more like a grimace, took a deep breath and continued.

"May first. I will never forget that day. What I thought was the start of something wonderful, became the start of a descent into my own personal hell. I had been busy with study groups for finals and Maria was hardly ever home anyway, so I had stayed out later than I had planned. The group completed our final project and we went out for a couple beers to celebrate. While I wasn't drunk when I got home, I wasn't as observant as I should have been. Maybe if I had been the rest never would have happened.

"Maria met me at the door, her eyes red and swollen, looking like she had been crying for hours. Her clothes were oversized and hung off her small frame. She looked like she would collapse at any moment. Thinking she was ill or something had happened to her mother, I immediately took her in to sit down on our bed. When I asked what was wrong, she began sobbing uncontrollably, begging me over and over again to forgive her. I was confused, but pressed on.

"She told me she was six weeks pregnant and had suspected it for a couple weeks. She had been to the doctor that day. She showed me a letter from a doctor's office that confirmed the pregnancy. Not wanting to ask, but feeling I had no choice, I asked if the baby was mine, bringing up all the subterfuge she had been engaged in the past few weeks. She became incensed at my accusations, alternating between hysterical tears and rage. Worried about not just the baby, but her mental health, I said everything she wanted to hear to calm her down.

"She explained the phone calls and secretiveness by saying it was because she was talking with Nettie, trying to figure out what to do. She said Nettie had been pressuring her to tell me the truth before she was ready, before she ran out of time on other options. I could remember the word she said as if I had heard them just yesterday:

"_I tried Jas, I really did. I went to the clinic, ready to go through with the abortion. But I couldn't do it. All I kept seeing was the pictures your momma has hanging on the wall of you as a little boy. I'm sorry, Jas. I'm so sorry." _

"I sat there in shock. Not only was she telling me she was pregnant, but that she had even planned to have an abortion without telling me. I didn't know what to think and pushed myself away from her to pace across the room. I am sure fear and rage must have pulsed off of me, with the way Maria was cowered on the bed. It wasn't that I didn't want children. I did. But certainly not when I had just turned 21 and was still in college. I also knew that the only way I could ensure Maria wouldn't follow through with the abortion was to marry her. And to do that, I was going to have to ask my parents for help so I could finish school."

I stood then, needing to move and not wanting to see the censure that would soon enter my friends' eyes when they learned the narrow mindset and depravity of my family and me. I walked to look out the window, needing to see my ocean, my peace. All my life it was the only thing that had centered me, given me clarity and focus. Keeping my back to the room, I continued, praying I would make it through the rest of the story whole and with my friendships intact.

"I went alone to see my father at his office the next day. Saying he was pissed would be an understatement. But I saw desperation, too. He offered to pay all the medical bills and care Maria would need, as well as give her $100,000 if she would have the baby, give up all parental rights and get out of my life forever. Perhaps I should have taken her with me. She might have played her hand then and saved me from what ended up happening.

"Maria and I were married within a week. My father agreed to keep giving me the money he had every month, as long as I did not quit school and went to work at Whitlock during school breaks and after graduation. I was pretty sure my mother had something to do with that. She always seemed to be able to calm the old man when he was ready to blow. Neither of my parents would come to the wedding, a simple ceremony at the courthouse. I am sure not too many of their friends ever knew I had gotten married. Maria was so far out of their social sphere that she would have never been accepted.

"My family would have nothing to do with us. Maria was hurt by their rejection, which made me more anxious to be there for her. But school was out by then and I was at the office for at least nine hours a day. She hated being alone, she said, so she was spending even more time at her friend Nettie's house. Nettie was a couple years older and a nurse, so I figured it was a good place for her to hang out.

"The end of June, my dad requested, actually demanded, I accompany him on a business trip to D.C. We would be gone a week. Maria was furious, and insisted it was my father's way of driving a wedge between us. My explaining that the trips would be necessary all the time when I was employed full time at Whitlock was met with quiet disdain. She informed me she would be at Nettie's while I was gone, if I even cared. I tried to tell myself it was just her pregnancy making her act this way, but it wasn't mood swings. It seemed like she was just pissed off all the time."

Turning back to my friends, I saw them sitting holding hands, Alice's head buried in Edward's shoulder. Clearing my throat, I asked them to give me a few minutes before I continued. Alice looked up, her eyes moist and bright with unshed tears.

"Do you need anything, Jas?" she asked her voice thick with emotion. "A drink or something? I could get it for you."

"No Ali, I'm good. I just need a few minutes."

I opened the screen and stepped out onto the deck. My cigarettes were in the little alcove I had tucked them into the night before. Removing one from the pack, I put it to my lips, having to steady the lighter with both hands, I was shaking so bad. I braced my forearms on the railing, my head hanging down between my shoulders. The pain in my chest was worse than anything else I was dealing with right now. I wanted to escape, but I knew it was time to stop running. I had been doing that for over two years now and it hadn't accomplished anything. The pain never went away, it just festered and burned, affecting every decision, every choice I made. I wanted my life back. Crushing out the cigarette that had burnt down to my fingers, I went back inside to face the rest of the story.

Edward and Alice both looked up when they heard the door. They didn't appear to have moved since I stepped out.

"I'm almost done, guys. Thank you for sticking with me." I said, as I sat down again in the chair I had vacated earlier.

Alice took my hand again. "Sweetie, we're your friends. We're here for you. You have been so strong. It's like a band aid. It hurts like hell when you rip it off, but once it's done, the pain goes away quickly."

I nodded, hoping, praying, she was right. With a heaving sigh, I gathered my thoughts and dove back into my own personal hell. I was searching for the loose adhesive so I could finally let go.

"The call came in the third day of our trip. We were in meetings all day and my cell phone was turned off. I didn't know until hours afterward. Nettie left a message when she couldn't reach me. Maria had lost the baby early that morning. By the time I got the message and was able to call back, Maria had been released and was back at Nettie's house. Nettie answered the phone. Maria wouldn't take any of my calls. Nettie tried to blow it off as her hormones being out of kilter, but I knew there was something more to it.

"I tried to convince my dad to let me go back to Galveston, but he wouldn't hear of it. Three days later, when I finally did return, the house was empty, although all of Maria's stuff was still there. I had called daily, several times of day, but Maria refused to talk to me every time. Knowing where she was, I headed to Nettie's to bring my wife home. I knew she was upset, but I was in no way prepared for her fury. I think she called me everything but white and human. She slapped me repeatedly as she screamed at me for abandoning her. I put up my hands to deflect the worst of the blows, but let her go. She couldn't make me feel any worse than I already did. Nettie pulled her off of me, dragging her into the other room. I don't know what was said, but when they finally returned, Maria's bags were packed to come home.

"The next couple of months were tentative, as we tried to get our life back on an even keel. By the time school started again, and I was no longer working full time, things seemed better. Maria and Nettie seemed to have drifted apart, though. They hardly ever saw each other and Maria never went over her house anymore. I had seen my sisters do it with their friends over the years, but they always worked it out, so I figured Nettie and Maria would, too.

"My school schedule was confined to two days a week; I worked at the office the other three. It was a Friday in October. Friday the thirteenth. Isn't it ironic how some shit never leaves you, no matter how much you want to forget? That was the day I found out everything I never wanted to know. Nettie showed up at the office around lunchtime, asking for a few minutes of my time. Thinking I might be able to help mend her friendship with my wife, I readily agreed. But, Maria's friendship was the last thing on Nettie's mind.

"Nettie handed me a folder full of printed emails and text messages from her cell phone company. It also contained copies of documents from Maria's medical file. Her doctor was the one that Nettie worked for. And as I looked over everything that was in there, it slowly came to me. The medical documents showed multiple pregnancy tests, all negative. They started two months before Maria told me about the baby and continued for almost two months after we were married.

"Confused, I asked Nettie to explain. The more she talked the more the life I thought I had fell apart. Maria had never been pregnant. She was tired of waiting on me to marry her, so she faked a pregnancy to force my hand, and Nettie had helped her by forging documents from the doctor's office. Maria wanted more out of life and she saw me as her way to get it. She convinced Nettie to help her by promising her $50,000 to pay off her student loans. All the proof was right there in front of me, burning into my mind, searing my soul.

"The baby, our marriage, the miscarriage—everything was a lie. Maria had manipulated everything I thought we had and made it all a huge joke. I couldn't see anything but red, rage filling me, eating at me. I barely heard Nettie talking, her voice an incessant buzzing in my ear, something about desperation and forgiveness. Forgiveness for who? Her? Maria? I could find none, as I grabbed my keys and phone, shoving past her as I left the office to confront the manipulative bitch I had been tricked into marrying.

I didn't realize how hard I was griping Alice's hand until I saw her flex her fingers when I let it go to get to my feet. I apologized, but she waved it away. I couldn't sit still. Really, I just wanted to punch something. I think Edward could sense my barely contained fury. After checking Alice's hand, he stood, too. Resting a hand on my shoulder, I could almost feel the calm he was trying to give me.

"Jas, bro, if you can't do this, we can let the rest go until another time," he said, his voice laced with concern. "But I got to say, from what you have told me, I can't imagine anything you could have done that we would hold against you after what Maria put you through. No one should ever be duped liked that, especially by someone you love and trust."

I shook my head. There was no way I could stop now. My heart clenched in my chest and my stomach was in knots. If it weren't for the fact that I hadn't eaten, I would have probably puked by now. Even still I fought the bile rising up in my throat.

"No, I need to finish this. Let me just grab some water." Catching my breath, I looked at Alice, "I'm so sorry Ali. Do you need some ice or something?"

"No, I'm good now that blood flow has been re-established. But I am with Edward, if you need to stop…." She trailed off, waiting for me to accept their offer.

Shaking my head again, I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. Killing half the bottle in one gulp, I walked back, but didn't return to my chair. I couldn't sit anymore. Pacing, I dove back into the story.

"I'm not sure how I made it home alive. To this day, the only thing I remember of the drive is the rain-slicked roads. I heard my phone go off several times, but I couldn't answer it. I figured Nettie called Maria and she was testing the waters, to see just how pissed I was. After the fourth ignored call, I threw the phone into the back of the car and turned the radio up to drown out the ringing. I pulled into the driveway of the house we were renting, opening the door on the car before I even had it in park. Slamming it behind me, I stormed up the steps.

"There were two suitcases sitting inside the door, and Maria was sitting at the kitchen table, obviously waiting for me. The first thing I noticed, though, was her wedding rings laying on the table, and her smirking composure. Grabbing the first thing I could get my hands on, I threw a vase across the room, shattering it against the wall above the stove. She never flinched and I completely snapped. Hauling her out of the chair by her forearms, I pulled her out to the hallway by her luggage.

The words I said to her echoed in my mind, falling out of my mouth again with all the venom they had the first time I said them.

_Get the fuck out of my house! I don't ever want to see you again, you malicious bitch. You have done nothing but use me for years. We are so fucking done and you won't see a penny from my family for your fucking efforts. _

"She laughed, LAUGHED, in my face.

_That's what you think! You will be paying Jazz. You will pay for the rest of your life. You will never get away from me, no matter what papers you file, what strings you pull; you are bound so tight, you have no fucking idea. Go ahead, toss me out. You lose, I win._

"I have two sisters and a shit ton of girl cousins. Never once, in all my life, had I ever hit any of them. My daddy had beaten it into my head from the time the girls were born that I had to protect them, not hurt them. But at that moment, all my home training went out the window and I swung. Maria managed to step out of the way of my fist, but she tripped over her bags and hit her head on the doorjamb. Blood flowed down the side of her face from a gash near her temple. I couldn't even muster enough sympathy to get her a towel. I grabbed her bags and threw them out the door and shoved her right behind them. The last words I said to her, before closing the door, were 'Get an attorney.'

"I wanted to leave but I had nowhere to go, I didn't even know who to call. My dad? My mom? Yeah right. There would be no sympathy from them. They had tried to warn me but I wouldn't listen. Once I got married, most of my friends went by the wayside. The ones that had stuck around were in some way tied to Maria. I chose the one thing I could always count on. I grabbed my duffle bag and my surfboards and threw them in the back of my truck. In 20 minutes I would be on the water. Then I could think, then I could figure out what to do. I never made it to the beach.

"The roads were wet. It had been raining off and on all day, the first rain we had had in months. I could hear sirens, their wails closer as I continued driving. I saw the flames before I saw the accident. Sometimes when I close my eyes, they are all I see. Red…Orange…Flickering…Devouring. The fire was burning out of control. The road was barricaded, but through the crowds I could see it. Maria's car. The little red convertible was enveloped in flames and the firemen's efforts were ineffective. I flew out of my car, leaving it running on the side of the road, screaming her name as I got closer. Someone grabbed my arm and pulled me back. The heat from the fire hung in the air, as stifling as the billowing smoke that choked out the light from the rising moon. The flames grew higher, licking at the drought-dry trees that the car had careened into. A second fire hose was directed at the dried grass and timber in an effort to prevent the wildfire that was building. I screamed her name, over and over as the police officers tried to convince my mind what my heart already knew. Maria was gone and it was my anger that killed her."

I stopped for a minute. Between my accelerated breathing and the pacing, my ribs were killing me. I had managed to clench my right hand into a fist, popping the tape Carlisle had wrapped around my finger. There wasn't a spot on my body that didn't hurt again, but none of it was as bad as the emotional pain I was dredging up from the pit I had buried it in. And with that I made the last pull, ripping the band aid all the way off.

"The next few days went by in a blur as I sleep-walked through them. I alternated between grief and relief, feeling like a hypocrite for one, and guilty for the other. No one knew about the fight between us except for Nettie. Maria had not even had a chance to call her mother when she left the house, apparently. As angry as I was, the idea of getting her out of my life never included killing her.

"While the investigators chalked the accident up to poor road conditions, the coroner still had to do an autopsy. A month after the funeral I received the report. The cause of death: asphyxiation from smoke inhalation. But there was more. Maria was approximately a month pregnant. And I knew. That was what she had meant by making me pay. She would have used my child against me for the rest of my life to get everything she thought she deserved.

"I dropped out of school right after the accident. I had put everything in storage and was living in a weekly rental hotel near the ocean. But after reading the report, I had to leave Galveston; I couldn't stay there anymore where everything I saw reminded me of my biggest fuck-up. I took the bare essentials and started following the surfing tournaments. The only ones I didn't hit were the ones that would have taken me back. I haven't seen my family, my home in two years."

Without realizing it, I had walked back to the sliding door and was standing braced against the frame. Hot tears spilled down my face. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and a comforting, shushing noise, as if someone were soothing a child. And, as Alice wrapped her arms round me, racking sobs overtook me and I sunk to the floor.

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_**As always, chapter title is from the Tom Waits song of the same name.**_

_**NOW FOR THE LONG ASS A/N:**_

_**I love writing this fiction and every word is a labor of love. Even if I didn't have all of you reading and encouraging me, it would probably be hidden in a folder on my computer for me to play with when inspiration struck. Lately however, the pressure of being a single mom of four, a grandmother, and a writer are wearing on me. I am neglecting the important things, my kids, in order to ensure I get these chapters out. **_

_**That being said, as of this chapter, GU will update every two weeks and will be moving to a Wednesday update. I am afraid if I don't do this, writing is going to become a chore instead of a pleasure and I don't want that to happen. If it did, everything that we all love about Surfsper would be gone. I want to ensure I give you and him my very best and this is the only way I can see to do that.**_

_**Also, there are other things I want to do, like beta and work on contest entries and the time is not there, especially if it is an edit that requires a great deal of time or an entry that requires a little more involved thought process. I'm sorry if any of you are disappointed. I have done my best and feel this is the only way to continue to do my best.**_

_**One of those other writing projects is an outtake for the Fandom Fights the Floods fundraiser. Currently, there are over 200 authors that will be donating their time and talent to raise money for the areas hit by the flooding in Queensland. I will be writing Emmett and Rosalie's first date as my contribution to this charity. All the information for donating to this worthy cause and receiving the compilation is contained on the following link-don't forget to remove the (): **_

_**http:/fandomsfightthefloods(.)blogspot(.)com/p/home(.)html **_

_**A group for fans of Going Under has been started on Facebook. There is a great bunch of ladies in there and we are always looking for more friends. Come join us to talk about the story, other fic recs, and just generally hang out.**_

_**FB group: **_**_http:/www(.)facebook(.)com/#!/home(.)php?sk=group_145967552120329&ap=1_**

_**Reviews are almost as much fun as eating pancakes with maple syrup with Jasper-in bed-off of his chest.**_


	13. Chapter 13: All Stripped Down

_**Love and kisses and bewb gropes to my amazing beta/pre-reader team: LaMomo, Willow, cherrypie0192, and hln3twimom. They keep me on track and make sure I make sense. Any errors are mine, cause I don't know when to leave well enough alone.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight but the plotlines and situations are mine. I'm trying to work out a barter plan to make Jasper my very own**_

_**Please do not reproduce, translate, caress, or fondle (or lick, nibble, or kiss for the girls from the fan group, for whom I have to be specific since they're abusing poor Jasper!) my story inappropriately in any way or Emmett will destroy your avi.**_

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**CHAPTER 13**

**All Stripped Down**

"_I dropped out of school right after the accident. I had put everything in storage and was living in a weekly rental hotel near the ocean. But after reading the report, I had to leave Galveston; I couldn't stay there anymore where everything I saw reminded me of my biggest fuck-up. I took the bare essentials and started following the surfing tournaments. The only ones I didn't hit were the ones that would have taken me back. I haven't seen my family, my home in two years." _

_Without realizing it, I had walked back to the sliding door and was standing braced against the frame. Hot tears spilled down my face. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and a comforting, shushing noise, as if someone were soothing a child. And, as Alice wrapped her arms round me, racking sobs overtook me and I sunk to the floor. _

_

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_

I don't know how long we sat there: me crumpled, broken and crying while Alice held me, stroking my hair, and murmuring in my ears while all the tears I'd buried poured out. As if in a vacuum, I heard a strangled voice begging for forgiveness over and over, before realizing it was my own. My heart felt like a gaping wound in my chest, one that no amount of band-aids could cover up. Finally, the sobs began to subside and the panic set in as I gasped to breathe. I was terrified to open my eyes and look at my friends, scared of the censure I was certain to see there, revolted by the monster I was.

"Jas. Jasper, look at me." I heard Alice's voice in my ear, determined to get my attention. I shook my head to clear the fog away, and her voice broke through again, stronger, more forceful. "Jasper Whitlock, open your eyes and look at me."

Pulling myself together, dragging myself through the pain, I lifted my head from where I had buried it in her lap. As I looked up, I saw Edward kneeling behind her, a hand resting on her shoulder in silent support. When my eyes met Alice's, I saw not vilification, but understanding and compassion.

"Jas, it wasn't your fault. It was a terrible, terrible accident. It could have been anyone in the car; it just happened that it was Maria. But what she did, the things she said, the lies she told, and the deceit—all of that was unforgivable. She used you, she used her friend, and when it all blew up in her face, and she was prepared to use an innocent child, all in an effort to gain what she wanted." I shook my head, trying to disagree with her, but the words wouldn't come. "Don't even try to defend her. I hate to speak ill of the dead, but she was a stone-cold bitch. She would have bled you dry every day for the rest of your existence. And that is exactly what it would have been…existence, because she would have never allowed you to have a life that didn't include her."

Edward nodded before speaking, "Jas, have you ever spoken to anyone else about all that happened that afternoon, the things you found out and what Maria said to you?"

"Why would I? She was dead; it wasn't going to change anything. I knew what happened. I knew she was distraught and hurt when I sent her away. How can you say it wasn't my fault?"

"That's why I wanted to know if you had talked to anyone. Jas, it wasn't your fault. Alice is right. It was just an accident." Edward paused for a minute, looking as if he was debating whether or not to continue. I could almost see a flash of determination before he did. "You probably don't want me to tell you this, but I think you need to speak with a counselor. The Psych Department at school has a student counseling center. They could help you deal with the grief and anger. You may not feel a lot of anger now, but once you confront and resolve the grief, you are going to be furious and bitter. If you can't control it, it will destroy you. I'm fairly sure that's not where you want to be, not if you are looking at getting to know Bella better and see where it goes."

I felt a flash of anger. A counselor? I wasn't crazy. Someone had died. Hell, technically, two people had died. I had a right to be upset, didn't I? I struggled to my feet, temporarily forgetting the pain in my ribs. Well, forgetting until the pain shot across my body again. Wincing, I pushed my arm into my side.

"What the hell, Edward?" I yelled; as I jerked open the refrigerator for a bottle of water. I popped one of the pills Carlisle left. "Don't you think it was hard enough to rehash it all for you and Alice? I don't need therapy, I'm not fucking crazy!"

"Jas, no one is saying…" Edward began, before I interrupted.

"Just save it Edward. I need a smoke," shoving open the sliding door, I stormed out onto the deck, the frame rattling with the force of my slamming it shut behind me. Pulling out my cigarettes, I took up my normal spot against the rail, watching as the sun slipped into the ocean, its fiery rays muted by the darkening depths of the water below. For the first time in longer than I could remember, though, it wasn't enough. Instead of peace, all I felt was loneliness. By the time I finished my second cigarette, I'd calmed down enough to think about what my friends had said. What if Edward was right?

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

To their credit, my friends had not pushed themselves into my solitude. I owed them both an apology, too. I'd repaid their friendship and support with anger and they didn't deserve it. Embarrassed, I quietly opened the door and stepped back inside. Edward and Alice sat at the table, their voices low, while they ate some of the leftovers from the night before. They turned toward the door where I stood.

"I owe you both an apology. My outburst was uncalled for, especially since you were only trying to be supportive and help. I'm so sorry."

Before I could move any further, Alice flew across the room. I managed to stop her short of barreling into my chest, but allowed her to wrap her tiny arms around my waist.

"Jas, you don't owe us anything! We're friends and if we can't accept each other through good and bad, then we aren't very good ones." She stepped back and looked up at me, tears shimmering in her eyes. "We didn't mean any harm, honest, but you are still holding onto so much pain. It makes you afraid to trust, afraid that people do things because they have an ulterior motive, not because they just want to. You're living your life waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's no way to live; you'll miss out on so much."

Clearing his throat, Edward said, "Alright Alice, we need to back off." He studied his plate, as if great wisdom would be found in a cheeseburger. "Jas, just so you know, we _are _your friends. I don't think any less of you after what you told me and neither will Emmett, if you decide to tell him. Matter of fact, I admire the strength you've had to survive it. Do you want to settle for survival, though, or do you want to live?"

Looking between Alice's open face and the compassion in Edward's eyes, I felt the weight of truth in all they had said. Leaning down, I gave Alice a peck on the cheek. The twins were so much younger than me, really just little girls when I had left home. Alice had somehow become the sister and confidante I never knew I needed.

"There enough food for me, too? I'm starving." I winked at Alice to let her know everything was okay.

"I'll get it, Jas, what do you want?" Alice moved toward the island where all the food was laid out, but I steered her back to the table.

"Sit down and eat. I am perfectly capable of getting it myself," and I proceeded to do just that. I hadn't eaten since Bella and I had gone to breakfast that morning and my stomach rumbled in anticipation as I piled food on my plate. I was pretty sure even Emmett would have been impressed. I opted for soda over beer, not wanting to mix the alcohol with the pain pills, and joined the others at the table.

Pulling out the chair, I eased my aching body into it. Facing the concern on Edward's face was worse than Alice's almost tears. While I could have stayed angry or defensive in the face of pity, the compassion wasn't as easily brushed off. But, true to his word, Edward let it go. Instead, we talked about classes starting the next day. I had a heavy course load planned, I wanted to squeeze the 18 months I had left in a year. I still needed to figure out what I was gonna do when I finished, but I had time for that. Luckily, I wouldn't be the oldest student there either. With the transient military community in Hampton Roads, the average age of undergrads at ODU was actually 24, not the typical 19-20; I wouldn't stick out like a sore thumb.

The conversation stayed light, despite the bomb I had dropped. As we cleared everything up, Alice asked me if I wanted to join them to watch some new comedy movie. I looked at my watch. It was already after eight and I wanted to call Bella before it got too late. Declining, I simply told her I had some things I wanted to do before I headed to bed. She smiled and nodded knowingly, but thankfully didn't say anything.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

My phone was in my room. Picking it up, I debated just sitting there and calling Bella. Instead, I headed back down and out onto the deck. Grabbing my smokes, I half-jogged down the steps and out the path to the beach. Strolling up the beach a few yards to the lifeguard stand, I sat down on the overturned rescue boat. Lighting up, I took a few drags to calm my nerves. Other than my mother and my sisters, I hadn't called a woman in years. I wasn't even sure what the hell I was supposed to talk about. Really, if she did all the talking, I'd be willing to just listen.

Stubbing out the cigarette in the sand, I scrolled down to Bella's number and hit send. Plucking at the zipper on my jacket, I waited for her to pick up. _Two rings. Three rings. Four rings._ Just as I began debating hanging up or leaving a message, a breathless Bella answered the phone.

"_Hello?" _Tongue tied, I didn't answer right away. _"Hello? Jasper, you there?"_

Clearing my throat before speaking, I could have sworn I heard a relieved sigh come through the phone. "Hey, Bella. I said I'd call. I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"

"_No. I was just in my room getting stuff together for classes tomorrow. I would have done it sooner, but I laid down after I got home."_

"I'm sure I wasn't the world's best pillow, but at least the sofa is comfy," I teased, as I recalled her body draped across mine that morning.

"_Oh, I had no complaints about the sleeping conditions last night," _she teased back. _"And the view when I woke up this morning was the best part."_

Falling into banter with her was easier than I thought it'd be. "Oh really? Well, darlin', we'll have to see what we can do about making sure you see it again in the future," adding a slow drawl to my answer. Her throaty laugh shot a wave of heat through my body.

"_You keep talking like that, Cowboy; you'd better make it the near future."_ Her next words disappeared in the shrieking of the gulls that flew overhead, and I asked her to repeat them. _"Was that a seagull? Are you sitting on the deck or did they just come that close to the window?"_

"No, I'm not at the house; I'm a few yards up the sand at the lifeguard stand. I was thinking about how much I'd have liked to take a walk on the beach, talking with you. This was the closest I could come to it tonight."

I heard her sharp intake of breath and wondered if I'd said too much. I was only being honest. I wasn't full of slick lines like Emmett; he'd had way more practice at this shit than I did. Her next words made me want to pull back what I said.

"_Nice line, Jas. Use it often?"_ I was so wrapped in my own thoughts; I missed the teasing lilt in her voice.

"It's not a line Bella. I'm not… I just… look; I'm not some operator like Emmett. I haven't dated a bunch and I can't remember the last time I called a woman just to chat. This is just me, being honest. I meant what I said this morning. I want to spend time with you, getting to know you. I wanted you to stay today, but I don't want to rush whatever this is."

"_Jas, it's okay. I was teasing, really. I want to spend time with you, too, and leaving this morning was harder than it should have been._ _ So, since we missed out on parts of each others' day, what'd you do all afternoon?"_

I told her about hanging out with Emmett, leaving out the conversation about her. She laughed as I told her about Emmett's nerves over his date and said she found it hard to believe there was a woman alive who could intimidate him. The conversation drifted on to us talking about the classes we were taking and our schedules. She was carrying a full load, three days a week and working the other two. She was shocked at my course load. I'd basically be at school every day from 8 in the morning until 4 in the afternoon. I explained it away saying I had taken a couple years off, but not why I did, and that I was now ready to finish my degree.

I never brought up the conversation with Alice and Edward. It was a road I wasn't ready to go down with Bella yet, and I knew Alice would give me the time I needed to be ready to talk about it. Not wanting to dwell on that while I had Bella on the phone, I latched on to things we had talked about that morning.

"So, when do you want me to take you horseback riding?"

"_Oh, I don't know about that. I mean, are you sure it's safe? Honestly, Jas, I am not the most coordinated person in the world. With my luck, the horse would throw me or I'd ride into a branch or something."_

Laughing, I tried to reassure her, "I wouldn't let you get hurt. It's fun, I promise. Go with me one time, and if you absolutely hate it, I'll never take you again. I have to go to the stables anyway, to make arrangements for Apocalypse to be moved up here." I dropped my voice, a cajoling tone in place and offered an incentive, "You could come with me and while we're there we can ride some stable horses. I'll even throw in a picnic. Please, Bells?"

"_Oh, you are slick! How could I turn down an invitation like that? Alright, I'll give it a try. When do you want to go? I have to work this Saturday."_

"How about Sunday? I can come pick you up around eleven and we could head over to the stables."

"_Do I need to go buy boots for our little adventure? And a hat? What is appropriate horse riding attire?"_ The teasing in her voice did something to my heart, making it lighter than it had been in a long time.

"Well, darlin'," I began, laying the accent on thick, "You purely don't need no boots or a cowboy hat. A ball cap will work to keep the sun off yore purty lil' nose. A comfortable pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and some sturdy sneakers will do y'all just fine." I could hear Bella's smothered giggles the entire time I was talking and I smiled to myself. I didn't think I'd ever get tired of the sound. But Bella's next words had me laughing outright, bringing tears to my eyes.

"_Well, I thank ya kindly, sir, fur yore interest in mah well-being. Fiddle dee dee I don't believe I've ever met a more chivalrous escort." _Bella's bastardized Scarlett O'Hara impersonation was probably some of the funniest shit I'd ever heard. _"Why, Jaspah Whitlock, ain't yore mama ever learned you that it taint proper to laugh at a lady? For shame!"_ And at that, Bella fell apart into peals of laughter, ringing through the phone like bells on a sleigh.

Wiping tears of mirth from my eyes, I struggled to catch my breath. The aching in my ribs from laughing was excruciating, but so worth it. I coughed with a low moan of pain and Bella was immediately concerned.

"_Oh shit, Jas! Your ribs! Are you okay? When was the last time you took something for the pain?"_

"I'm good, Bells. I'm gonna head back to the house in a few and take a couple pills before I hit the sack." Not ready to hang up, I changed the subject, "You never told me what you did all afternoon."

"_Oh, not too much. After the almost accident on the way home…"_

"What accident? You were in an accident?" My voice rose as the panic set in that she'd been hurt and I didn't know it. "What happened? Are you okay?" I was so agitated; I jumped to my feet and began pacing around the abandoned boat.

"_No, no, I'm fine, honest. The storm took down a lot of branches and stuff last night. I guess not all of them made it to the ground. I was driving up Shore Drive and there was a tree down across the road in the eastbound lanes. They rerouted traffic so that there was one lane heading in each direction on the west side. A gust of wind swept across the road and a huge branch fell in front of the truck. I had to go off the road or risk going into oncoming traffic. With all the rain, the shoulder was muddy as hell and the truck slid a few feet before it stopped." _Bella paused to take a breathand in the quiet, she heard my panicked breathing.

The section of road Bella had been on was winding and full of trees on either side. When you drove it, white cross memorials peppered the sides, silent reminders of how treacherous the road could be. The thought of Bella's deathtrap of a truck hurtling into the trees brought unwanted images of a little red car engulfed in flames. I struggled to keep a broken cry from escaping my lips, but gasped at the knifing pain that shot through my chest at the thought of losing Bella the way I'd lost Maria.

"Bella, I don't want you to ever drive that road again," I demanded, my fears putting a harsh bend to the tone of my voice. "It's too dangerous. Do you know how many people have been killed along there, many in accidents that weren't even their fault? Swear to me, please, swear that you will never drive it again." I knew I had no right to, but I needed her safe.

"_Are you serious? I'm fine. I'm a safe driver." _

I couldn't fight the desperate possessiveness that overtook me. I needed Bella to understand how important it was to me that she was safe. How could I do it without telling her everything? Struggling for the right words, I tried again.

"I… uh… I can't talk about it right now, Bella, I just can't. But I need to know you're safe. I just found you; I'm just getting to know you. I don't want to risk anything happening to you." And then, I begged, "Please, baby? Promise?"

I don't know if it was the desperation or the pleading in my voice, but Bella acquiesced and agreed to take a different route home if she was out at the beach. I was almost pitiful in thanking her. The fun and light from earlier was gone, though. I mentioned needing to get back to the house and we both realized it was after ten o'clock. I asked if I could call her the next day and the softness returned to her voice when she said I could. She also told me what time she would be on a break between classes, if I wanted to meet her at the student center for coffee. At least I hadn't scared her off with my Neanderthal routine. I told her I would double check my classes and if I could, I'd see her there.

I told her to sleep well and disconnected the call. I'd barely managed to stay calm through the end of the phone call and I lost control once it was over. I kicked out at the boat in fear and anger, flipping it over and smashing one of the rotted seats inside. Knowing I needed to pull it together before going home, so I moved a few feet away and collapsed into the sand. Cloying panic pulled at me and I lit a cigarette, hoping that the slow draws of nicotine would work their magic. As my heart rate slowed and I regained control of my hurtling emotions, Edward's words from earlier came back to haunt me.

"_You may not feel a lot of anger now, but once you confront and resolve the grief, you are going to be furious and bitter. If you can't control it, it will destroy you."_

I looked over at the little boat that I'd kicked to smithereens. He was right. I had to get this shit under control. I knew my reaction to Bella's accident was over the top. Spending time with Bella took the numbness out of my life, but by letting her in, I'd opened up and let a lot of bottled up shit loose. I needed to figure out how to deal with it and find a way to move past it. A decision settled in my mind and I shoved myself to a standing position.

With a silent prayer for strength to a God I wasn't even sure existed, I trekked back to the house. Clambering up the steps to the deck, I brushed the sand off my legs and feet before going inside. Alice was already gone and Edward was setting up the coffee pot for the morning.

"How's Bella?"

I heaved a deep sigh out of my chest, scrubbing my hands through my hair before answering. "Bella's fine, but I'm not so good. You were right, E. I gotta talk to someone and I need to do it soon. Bella had to swerve off the road on her way home, almost getting in an accident, and I damn near flipped my shit while we were on the phone when she told me. I can't live like this anymore. I've got to resolve the shit that happened or I've got to let Bella go, and that's not an option. Where do I need to go to talk to somebody?"

* * *

_**Big, warm, squishy hugs to all the lovely ladies and the occasional gentleman I write with on Skype. They keep me motivated and they are each and everyone amazing writers themselves. **_

_**Emmett and Rosalie's first date was successfully submitted as an outtake for the Fandom Fights the Floods fundraiser. Approximately 200 authors donated their time and talent to raise money for the areas hit by the flooding in Queensland. Monetary donations will be accepted until the end of March. All the information for donating to this worthy cause and receiving the compilation is contained on the following link-don't forget to remove the (): **_

_**http:/fandomsfightthefloods(.)blogspot(.)com/p/home(.)html **_

_**A group for fans of Going Under has been started on Facebook. There is a great bunch of ladies in there and we are always looking for more friends. Come join us to talk about the story, other fic recs, and just generally hang out.**_

_**FB group: http:/www(.)facebook(.)com/#!sk=group_145967552120329&ap=1**_

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_**Reviews are almost as much fun as walking on the beach with a hopeful surfer. **_


	14. Chapter 14: I'll Shoot the Moon

_**Love and kisses and bewb gropes to my amazing beta/pre-reader team: LaMomo, Willow, Manda, and Heidi. They keep me on track and make sure I make sense. Any errors are mine, cause I don't know when to leave well enough alone.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just took them to beach and college.**_

_**Please do not reproduce, translate, caress, or fondle (or lick, nibble, or kiss for the girls from the fan group, for whom I have to be specific since they're abusing poor Jasper!) my story inappropriately in any way or Emmett will destroy your avi.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 14**

**I'll Shoot the Moon**

_With a silent prayer for strength to a God I wasn't even sure existed, I trekked back to the house. Clambering up the steps to the deck, I brushed the sand off my legs and feet before going inside. Alice was already gone and Edward was setting up the coffee pot for the morning. _

"_How's Bella?"_

_I heaved a deep sigh out of my chest, scrubbing my hands through my hair before answering. "Bella's fine, but I'm not so good. You were right, E. I gotta talk to someone and I need to do it soon. Bella had to swerve off the road on her way home, almost getting in an accident, and I damn near flipped my shit while we were on the phone when she told me. I can't live like this anymore. I've got to resolve the shit that happened or I've got to let Bella go, and that's not an option. Where do I need to go to talk to somebody?" _

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

When my alarm went off at 6:00 the next morning, I wasn't in a big rush to drag myself out of bed. With everything I'd been through the day before – the time spent with Bella, the talk with Edward and Alice, the phone call, and all the emotions it brought back, I'd thought for sure that sleep, if it came, would be spotty, at best. I couldn't have been more wrong. Instead, I dreamed of a beautiful brown-eyed girl, with laughter in her eyes and a smile on her lips. In my dreams, I saw Bella lounging out in my t-shirt that she'd borrowed and the sweats I'd given her.

I wondered if Bella was that kind of girl. You know, the kind that actually saves trinkets and things to preserve memories that were important. I didn't know, but I wanted to find out. I wanted to know everything about her. The only drawback was that, in return, she'd want to know everything about me, too, and, that was why I'd be dragging my ass to the Student Counseling Center when I got a break, either between classes, or at the end of the day. Edward had offered to go with me and I told him I'd text him when I got a better idea of when I'd be able to go.

Groaning, I gingerly shoved my aching body off the bed. I tossed some fresh clothes on the bed I'd hastily straightened, before walking into the bathroom. I kicked on the shower, turning the heat up as high as I could stand it, knowing it would help the aching muscles in my neck and shoulders. While the steam filled the bathroom, I loosened and removed the wrap Carlisle had put on me. I could see the dark purple bruises reflected back at me in the mirror that was quickly misting over. I unwrapped the tape from my fingers, too, since once it got wet it'd be a fucking mess to get off.

Stepping into the steaming, pulsing water, I let it just run across my shoulders and neck, beating into the stiff muscles. As the knots started to unwind, I lazily washed my hair, careful to not bang my finger. I scrubbed my body and groaned at how sore I still was. I'd be damn glad when I healed up, not surfing or exercising in any way was killing me. Short of playing Anabelle, which was hindered by my finger anyway, working out was how I dealt with stress and I knew I was in for a shit ton of it this week.

Toweling myself off, I taped my finger back up before I walked back in my room naked and grabbed my boxer briefs off the bed. As I pulled them on, I heard my phone chirp an alert for a missed message. I dragged my jeans on before walking to the nightstand to see who it was. My heart sped up when I read the screen. _Bella_. Wondering what she wanted this early and hoping we were still on for coffee, I popped open the message.

**I have a break at 10 and will be in the quad. See you there? ~ B**

Looking at the schedule I'd downloaded into my phone, I quickly texted her back.

**Definitely. I have 30 min before my lab. My treat ~ J**

I finished dressing, the host of a smile on my lips.. I pushed my wallet and phone into my jeans and grabbed my keys and laptop bag. I checked to make sure I had some pens and a notebook before heading downstairs for some coffee. I had enough time to sit with a cup before I had to hit the road. I wasn't sure how long the drive to downtown was going to take and I needed to hit the bookstore, too.

Edward was already in the kitchen, a cup of coffee on the counter next to where he stood and a bowl of cereal in his hands. Nodding at me, he swallowed and said good morning. I returned the greeting, pourin my own cup. Esme had baked muffins before she left the day before and I grabbed one.

"So, what time is your first class?" I asked, easin up onto the barstool.

"Still sore, huh?" I nodded, and he continued, "My first class is at nine today. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I have a seven am class." He laughed at my groan. "Yeah, but I only have three classes and am off campus by two, even after office hours, so that's pretty good. How about you?"

"I'll be on campus all day, Monday through Friday. It's the only way I'm gonna be able to finish up this year. It's gonna mean a shit ton of studying, but I don't have a lot to distract me, so it's all good."

"What about Bella? Are you guys going to be able to spend any time together during the week?"

"Probably not a lot. She's only got classes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but she has to work on Tuesdays and Thursdays and every other Saturday. It'll be okay, dude. I'm just letting that work itself out, you know? Which reminds me, uhm, do you mind going to the counseling center with me this afternoon? I'll work around whatever you got going on. I just, I don't know, could really use some moral support."

He smiled, with a hint of sympathy in his eyes. "Yeah, Jas, I get it. Sure, I'll go with you. When were you thinking about going?"

We compared our schedules and decided that the end of the day would be best. Edward's last class ended at 4 and he didn't have office hours on Monday. I said I'd meet him at the counseling center and he was cool with that. Checking my phone, I knew I needed to get on the road. Telling him I'd see him later, I headed out to the truck. I looked longingly at my bike, but knew that with my cracked ribs it would be a bitch to ride right now. As I climbed in the truck, I wondered how Bella felt about motorcycles and made a mental note to ask her when I saw her later on that morning.

Getting to the campus was better than I expected and I had plenty of time to run to the bookstore before class. I bought the book I needed and then headed to my Marine Biology 4 class. I was fortunate that my grades had been really good before I quit and ODU had full reciprocity with Texas A & M. I hadn't lost any of my credits with the transfer. I grabbed a seat halfway through the lecture hall. I hated that this class had a separate lab. I'd have much rather have had a class that included it, but I took what I could get.

The professor was a grizzled, retired Naval officer. He seemed nice enough, if a little gruff, and his military background was obvious when he spoke. He made sure everyone had received the copy of the syllabus. He also let us know that while he would accept online submissions for papers, they had to be received by 11:59pm on the due date in his inbox or they'd be late. He did an overview on the syllabus, gave us our reading assignments, checked to make sure everyone was signed up for one of his labs, and then started discussing the final project.

It was huge and we'd be divided into teams. He informed us that he'd be determining the groups and would email them to us as well as posting them outside his office. Checking to see if there were any questions and seeing none, he dismissed the class for the day, telling us to be prepared to jump into the text for the next class, when he would do a full lecture. My classmates began chattering amongst themselves wile we all gathered up our stuff.

I still had more than an hour before I was supposed to meet Bella. The temperature was warm, pushing the mid-eighties already, so I decided to enjoy the sun. Snagging a spot near the fountain in the quad, I pulled out my book and started reading. With the way class had gone, I was fairly certain the lab would follow suit, but hell, it didn't hurt to get a jump start on the reading, since there were fifty pages of it already.

Delving into environmental impacts on marine life, I lost track of time. When Bella touched my shoulder an hour later, I almost jumped out of my skin. Looking up at her, her brown eyes covered by a large pair of shades and a delighted smile on her lips, I couldn't hide my excitement at seeing her again. I stood up and gave her a light kiss, then lifted her shades.

"Good morning, pretty lady. How'd you sleep?"

Settling her bag at her feet and joining me at the small table, she replied, "Not as well as I did the night before. It was cold in the apartment. Luckily, this nice surfer gave me a pair of sweatpants, so I wore them to keep warm."

"Hmm, sounds like a helluva guy," leaning over and gave her another kiss, "so, still want that coffee?"

"God yes! The pot Rachel made this morning was vile! I am pretty sure my spoon started to melt, the stuff was so strong."

I asked her what she wanted and then told her to sit tight while I grabbed it from the small coffee stand on the other side of the Quad. I also grabbed a sandwich and a couple pastries. I was starving and I didn't know if Bella might want something, too. Handing her the cup of coffee, I noticed the textbook she had in front of her.

"Child Psychology?"

"Thanks. Yeah, I took it during my first year at UW, but this is a graduate level class," she answered, with a wry smile. "Honestly, most of it looks the same, but, I don't want to sit and read when we only have a little time to see each other. How was your class this morning?"

I placed the food between us and we sat talking for the next few minutes while we ate. Bella talked a bit about her Ed classes, but seemed more interested in the different science classes I'd be taking. I told her about my first professor and she also mentioned that several of hers listed military credentials in the bios she had received with her syllabuses.

Before we knew it, our time was gone and we both had to rush off to class. Shoving all the trash in the bag, I stood and grabbed my laptop bag off the ground. Our classes were in the same hall and as we walked, I entwined my fingers with hers. Bella looked down at our clasped hands and bumped into my shoulder with the sweetest smile I'd ever seen. When we reached the main entrance, I pulled Bella closer and gave her a light kiss, telling her I'd call later. She whispered okay and gave me another kiss before rushing up the stairs. I watched her walk away, knowing another one of my imaginary boundaries had been broken. I didn't care.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

The rest of my classes passed in a blur of activity, barely giving me a moment to think. Unlike Professor Hunter's class this morning, most of the other professors hit the ground running. Even in Professor Hunter's lab, we got right down to work, doing a study on the effects of oil spills on marine life and water salinity. Despite all the work, my apprehension about going to the counseling center grew and coiled in the pit of my stomach.

I methodically packed up my laptop and other gear at the end of my last class, my nerves finally getting the better of me. As I lingered near my desk, waiting for the others to file out in front of me, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning, I saw a tall brunette standing behind me, a welcoming smile on her face.

"Hi, I'm Lauren. I had to ask, did you surf ECSC this weekend? You look just like one of the surfers who competed."

Discomfort flooded me at being recognized. "Uh, yeah," I cleared my throat before continuing. "Yeah, I did. Jasper Whitlock. Nice to meet you." I extended my hand and she clasped it in hers.

"I thought so! I even texted my friend telling her I thought you were in my class. You were amazing! I didn't know you were a local, though. I mean, I don't remember ever seeing you before now and you certainly don't sound like you're from around here."

"No, ma'am, I'm not local. I'm originally from Texas but I decided to stay here and finish my degree. I take it you like surfing?" I asked, thankful for the delay, even though I knew Edward would be waiting for me.

"Oh, my friends and I love surfing!" she gushed. "We hang out at the beach all the time to watch. Texas, huh? Do you like country music? There's a great bar over in Norfolk. Maybe we could get together and go one night."

I knew she was angling for an invitation, so I figured I'd better nip that idea right damn quick. "That's real sweet of you, but no thanks. I've got a girlfriend."

"Back home in Texas?" she asked, her hand resting too familiarly on my arm. "Well, if you change your mind, you can call me."

"No, she's right here in Virginia. Matter of fact, she's a graduate student here at ODU," I replied, removing her hand and setting it on the desk. "And I doubt I'll be changing my mind soon, but thanks again, all the same. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm late meeting a friend."

I walked away, not giving her a chance to answer. I also vowed to have a long talk with my sisters the next time I called home. They needed to know that throwing yourself at a guy wasn't the way to go. Lauren's overt behavior just came off as slutty, not attractive. I was sure I'd offended her, but really, what'd she expect? I kind of felt sorry for her. Someday, the wrong guy was going to take her up on her offer and she was going to regret it.

I all but ran over to the Student Counseling Center that I'd found on the map earlier in the day. I was frustrated about running late. That, combined with the nerves I'd been battling all day started to get the better of me. As I rushed up to Edward, I was on edge, out of breath, and in pain from the strain on my ribs. My patience was all used up.

"Hey, Jas, I was just going to call you. I was beginning to think you bailed on me and I was standing here for my health." I was so keyed up I missed the joking tone in his voice and I snapped.

"Look, Edward, if you didn't want to come along, you could have just said so. You don't need to ride my ass. I said I'd be here, didn't I? Fuck! I got held up, alright?"

Edward stepped back as if I'd slapped him. "Hey, it's cool, Jas. I said I'd be here and I am. I was really just going to call to make sure you knew where the center was."

Immediately contrite, and knowing I'd overreacted to a harmless jest, I tried to apologize.

"Damn, E, I'm sorry," I shoved my hands through my hair and blew out a hard breath, "you didn't deserve that. I'm just nervous about this and then some chick hit on me and I was running late and I…"

"We're cool, dude. Calm down. I'll grill you later about the girl who hit on you. Let's go get this done so you can dump something off your plate."

"I wish it was that easy," I muttered, walking through the door, and took the first step toward facing my past.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

An hour later, I'd filled out a pile of paperwork, met with an intake counselor, and set up an appointment for Thursday afternoon. I was certain I'd probably looked manic to the young Psych student that had done my paperwork. I'd fidgeted my way through the process – tapping my hands on my legs, knees bouncing, my fingers dragging through my hair. I'd give the girl this; she never let it faze her.

Edward never once showed any signs of impatience either; although I was sure my behavior must have been unnerving. I once again thanked whatever quirk of fate that had hooked me up with Emmett and brought his family and friends into my life. I couldn't have asked for a better support system. I knew, too, that I needed to talk to Emmett soon. I only hoped he didn't feel like I was deliberately hiding shit from him when we did talk.

Leaving the center, Edward told me he'd see me at home. I nodded and headed off toward the student parking. Tossing my gear in the passenger's seat, I turned the ignition and just sat as the truck idled. I'd found a local station I liked when Emmett won my CD in our bet. Wade Hayes' voice swirled around me, asking about starting over. I snorted to myself. It really sucked when the radio threw your life back at you.

I'd been running away from my past for too long, though. If talking all that shit out was going to allow me to live, like Alice said, then the center was where I'd start. In the meantime, maybe, just maybe, if I was damn lucky and the Fates decided I'd paid enough, I could start replacing all the bad with something better.

Turning down the music, I pulled out my phone and dialed without thinking about it. I just wanted, no, needed, to hear her voice.

"_Hey Jas."_

"Hey, babe. You weren't busy, were you? I can call later."

"_No, I was just going over some of my assignments and working on a lesson plan for next week. I needed a break. Were you studying?"_

"Nah, I haven't even started yet. I had something I had to take care of after my last class. I'm just heading home now." Looking up from where my eyes had been fixated on my dash, I saw that the parking lot was almost empty. "You were on my mind and I just wanted to call and say 'Hi'."

"_Well, 'Hi' yourself. _

I settled back in the seat and closed my eyes. Without too much effort, visions of her filled my mind, her smile, her laugh. "I was wondering, uhm, if you had a few minutes to take a break and hang out for a while. The twins' birthday is next week, and I wanted to send something down to them but I have no idea what to buy for a couple of teenage girls."

"_Yeah, sure. When did you want to go? I have to work until five tomorrow and Thursday and all day Saturday."_

"Would now be inconvenient? I mean, I understand if you're busy and need to study."

"_Now is perfect. Do you want me to meet you somewhere or… ?"_

"No, I can come get you. Just let me get your address and put it in the GPS."

I got the information and when the GPS registered, I told her I'd see her in a few minutes and hung up. Navigating my way out of the parking lot and following the directions that were chirped at me, I arrived at Bella's apartment in less than fifteen minutes. I found a parking place and walked up to the building. Knocking on her door, I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, nervous as a kid on his first date. Bella opened the door almost immediately and invited me in while she grabbed her bag.

I waited inside the door and looked around. Her place was small but homey and comfortable. I saw bits of Bella reflected in the pictures that seemed to grace almost every surface. Walking over to the bookcase, I took a closer look at the pictures artfully arranged there. I saw a younger Bella with Alice, obviously from their graduation. They were beaming at the camera, their easy friendship obvious. They seemed closer than some families I had met. Next to it was a picture of a little Bella sitting with a man who I was sure was her father. They were both wearing Mariners ball caps and sitting at the stadium. He looked like a kind man, but then Alice had said he was.

Hearing Bella walk back in the room, I turned and gestured toward the shelf. "Your dad looks like a great guy."

"He is," she answered, coming to stand next to me. "You won't see too many pictures of my mom. She's the family photographer. She documents everything but we rarely catch her in front of the camera." Pointing to a picture on another shelf, "That's Mom there."

I saw a picture of an older version of Bella standing by the side of a lake, shading her eyes. The picture had obviously been taken without her knowledge and I noticed the same peace and contentment that had drawn me to her daughter when I first saw her at the park.

"You know, I'd seen you before the night Alice introduced us." Where the hell did that come from? I was so not ready to play true confessions.

"Really? Where?" The pictures were forgotten as Bella turned to look at me.

I swallowed hard and looked down. Fuck! This was going to sound stupid.

"Uh, yeah. It was the first day Emmett and I were in town. We'd gone out for lunch while we were waiting for the decision on the house and I saw you reading in a park across the street." Looking at her face to watch her reaction, I continued, "You looked so…content. Em encouraged me to go talk to you, but I didn't. Then, I saw you again the next day when I was grabbing us some subs. You were heading out to your truck and I watched you until you left. Then, the next night, Alice and Edward encouraged us to go out with them for a little while. I was shocked when I finally met you face to face at Smackwater's and you turned out to be Alice's best friend."

Bella's cheeks colored as a light blush crept up them. "And now?"

"And now…" I began, lifting her chin with my finger, "now I'm glad you still came to the beach, even after I spilled beer all over you and acted like a complete ass the first night you met me." And dipping my head, I placed my lips on hers, sliding my other hand under her hair.

Bella leaned into my kiss, her arms moving around my neck as she opened her mouth and her tongue ghosted over my bottom lip. Standing on her toes, her body pressed into mine. Our mouths played across each other, our tongues stroking, seeking more. I moved my hand from her chin, holding her against me as I let myself just live in the moment.

Breaking the kiss, we both drew deep breaths. Bella leaned her forehead against my chin. Her arms tightened around my neck and she leaned back to look at me.

"I'm glad I decided to go, too." she replied, before placing a light kiss on the pulse racing in my neck. Then she reluctantly pulled away. "But we aren't getting your shopping done. C'mon Cowboy! Let's hit the road." Her eyes sparkledwhile she teased me with the nickname she'd given me.

Sighing, I agreed and followed her out the front door. I held the door as she climbed up into my truck, then walked around to the driver's side. Settling myself in and starting the engine, I asked her for directions to the nearest mall. We headed over to Lynnhaven Mall and spent the next couple of hours drifting in and out of the many stores. We took a break about halfway through our expedition and grabbed a bite to eat in the food court.

By the time we'd covered half the mall, I was becoming discouraged, figuring I was going to have to just send them gift cards, even though I'd wanted to get them something each a little more personal. I protested at first when Bella dragged me into Build-a-Bear, thinking the twins were too old for it. Instead, I saw that the store contained as many teens as it did younger girls.

The walls were covered with animals of every sort, dressed in various little outfits. I had to admit, the shit was kind of cute. I decided to get both the girls Happy Birthday bears and all but laughed at how earnest Bella was when it came time to stuff their empty, fuzzy corpses. Hearts, sounds, brushing, fluffing - the whole thing was completely ridiculous and yet, I couldn't remember ever having had so much fun while shopping.

Once we had fat teddy bears, Bella asked what the girls were interested in so we could dress them accordingly. Shaking my head, I told her the little bit I knew about my sisters from phone conversations with them and my mom. Not having been home in over two years made it damn difficult to really know two teenage girls. Somehow we managed to sort it all out and thirty minutes later we left with two well-dressed bears and their very expensive new wardrobes.

"I can't believe we just spent over a $100 dressing teddy bears!" I laughed as we strolled back through the mall to the exit.

"Yeah, but I bet your sisters are going to love them," Bella laughed as well, "besides, admit it- they were fun to make."

I agreed and made a mental note of how much Bella had enjoyed the store. I might have to make a return visit soon for something special for her. As we passed a kiosk, something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. Stopping, I stepped over and scanned the rack. There it was. Hanging in the middle of the rack was a small brightly colored surfboard charm dangling from a black cord necklace. Snagging it off the nook before Bella saw what it was, I asked the attendant to ring it up. Noticing my furtive movements, the young girl figured it was a surprise and slipped it straight into a bag. I quickly signed the receipt and took the bag from her.

"What was it Jas? Did you see something else for your sisters?"

"Nope," I answered, and twined my fingers with hers again, tugging her away from the stand. "Just something that caught my eye."

We stored the bear boxes behind the truck's seat and I closed the door once Bella was settled. On the way back to her place, I asked Bella some more questions about her family. She told me a little bit, but seemed more interested in mine. Having been an only child, with Alice the closest thing she had to a sister, she was more interested in what it was like to grow up with siblings. I told her the truth - because the twins and I were pretty far apart in age, and they were girls, I didn't have much to do with them. Now that they were older, and I'd realized the importance of family, I was more interested in having a relationship with them. I wanted them to feel like they could talk to me, even when they couldn't talk to our parents.

All too soon we were back at the apartment. I walked Bella to the door, but declined her invitation to come in. I hadn't been home since I'd left for school and I still needed to get some studying done. As we stood at her open door, I nervously pushed my hand in my pocket and fiddled with the small paper bag I'd shoved in there at the mall.

"Thanks a lot for coming with me today. It made my shopping a lot easier, and it's nice to have some company for a change."

"It was a lot of fun, Jas. I'm sure the girls will love their new bears. They're so damn cute, and you picked out some great stuff to go with them. I bet they'll love the little beach outfits best, especially since they're coming from you," she teased me, "and you got the little surfboards to go with them."

"Yeah, well, I guess so." Pulling the bag out of my pocket, I clenched my hand around the folded edge. "So, I was wondering, I saw this at the mall, too, and thought you might like a little reminder of me every now and again."

She smiled at me, a curious look on her face. Holding my breath, I handed her the little bag. Opening it, she reached in and pulled out the necklace.

"Oh, Jas! I love it! It's almost the same colors as your board. Is this what you saw at the kiosk?" She was so excited that most of my nerves melted away. "Will you help me put it on?" she asked, and turned, lifting her hair out of the way.

My shaking fingers struggled to unhook the clasp, but I finally managed to get it open. Reaching around her, I put it around her neck. Her free hand came up to hold it while I clasped it shut. I placed a light kiss on her neck before stepping back.

"It does come with one string attached to it, though."

"What's that?" she asked, turning to face me again, while her downcast eyes studied the little trinket resting between her breasts. When I didn't answer her right away, she looked up and took my hand in hers. "Jas?"

I was drowning in her eyes, struggling to speak past the giant lump that had taken up residence in my throat. "Me."

Not letting go of my hand, she placed the other on my shoulder, "That's not a string, that's a bonus - one I'll gladly accept." And, as if she were sealing a deal, she tilted her head back and kissed me.

* * *

_**Thanks for your patience while I was so late updating. I spent a few days in the hospital and then had to scramble to finish a gift story and a contest entry that I was committed to. God willing and the creek don't rise, the next chapter will be up in two weeks. **_

_**Big, warm, squishy hugs to all the lovely ladies and the occasional gentleman I write with on Skype. They keep me motivated and they are each and everyone amazing writers themselves. **_

_**I will be writing a new one-shot for the Tsunami and Fandom Fealty Relief Efforts. If you can find it in your heart (and pocketbook) to donate, it will go to a worthy cause. **_

_**A group for fans of Going Under has been started on Facebook. There is a great bunch of ladies in there and we are always looking for more friends. Come join us to talk about the story, other fic recs, and just generally hang out.**_

_**FB group: http:/www(.)facebook(.)com/#!sk=group_145967552120329&ap=1**_

_**Reviews are almost as much fun as a coffee break with a sexy science student, and make me incredibly happy! Happy writers write faster—just sayin'.**_


	15. Chapter 15: Falling Down

_**Love and kisses and bewb gropes to my amazing beta/pre-reader team: LaMomo, nails 233, Willow, Manda, and Heidi. They keep me on track and make sure I make sense. Any errors are mine, cause I don't know when to leave well enough alone.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight; I introduced them to the sun, surf, and sand.**_

_**Please do not reproduce, translate, caress, or fondle (or lick, nibble, or kiss for the girls from the fan group, for whom I have to be specific since they're abusing poor Jasper!) my story inappropriately in any way. Not that I can do a damn thing about it, but it makes me feel like I have a sense of control.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 15**

**Falling Down**

"_What's that?" she asked, turning to face me again, while her downcast eyes studied the little trinket resting between her breasts. When I didn't answer her right away, she looked up and took my hand in hers. "Jas?"_

_I was drowning in her eyes, struggling to speak past the giant lump that had taken up residence in my throat. "Me." _

_Not letting go of my hand, she placed the other on my shoulder, "That's not a string, that's a bonus - one I'll gladly accept." And, as if she were sealing a deal, she tilted her head back and kissed me. _

-OO-

Walking away from Bella's apartment Monday night hadn't been easy. I wasn't sure how much longer I'd be able to keep myself in check. I found the sexual tension intoxicating and like a drug addict, I needed more. I wanted to drown in it, drown in her. I'd never experienced anything like kissing Bella. Her presence brought me sunshine and light, dispelled the darkness that had dominated my world for too long. I'd never met anyone who embraced life and happiness the way she did; it was addictive. But, because of her, because of that sunshine, I would walk back into the counseling center and finally deal with my shit. Bella deserved a whole man and I damn well planned to do all I could to become one for her.

After Monday's shopping trip and Bella accepting the necklace, I knew I'd stepped out on a limb that I'd been avoiding out of fear. I still had no idea where we were going, but I had a damn good idea. Thinking about it sent tendrils of fear, tinged with anticipation. While on my break between classes on Tuesday, I sat alone in the Quad. I'd wanted to call her, but didn't want to cause her problems at work. I settled for a text message letting her know, in a roundabout way, that I'd missed her. When she sent me a response, telling me she'd meet me the next day for coffee again and would talk to me later that evening, I wandered through the rest of the day with a shit-eating grin on my face. A grin so broad that even the smell of formaldehyde in my Biology lab didn't affect me.

I beat her to the Quad again on Wednesday, grabbing us both something to drink and lunch before she arrived. I'd managed to snag the same table we'd sat at on Monday, and flipping open a random textbook, tried not to look like a heartsick fool when she showed up. But hell, I had no clue what I was doing. I was thankful Bella didn't notice my nerves. She fussed about me buying her lunch, but I kissed her quiet, telling her I was pretty sure that's what boyfriends did. The faint blush that filled her face hit me like a kick in the stomach. I'd flatter her all the time, just to see it again. I was chafing at the bit, wanting to spend more time with her outside of school, but I knew she had work and studying, between that and my studying and counseling, I wasn't sure making plans for Thursday would be a good idea. I broached the possibility of dinner and a movie for Friday, her ready acceptance helping to ease my dating fears. We walked to class, parting again with a kiss and a promise to call later.

We were on the phone for hours that night. Nothing we talked about seemed important in the grand scheme of things, but I relished each conversation. Hearing her voice, her laugh, I'd close my eyes and picture the open smile that always seemed to grace her face. I'd have stayed on the phone all night, letting the rest of the world slip away, just to hear her smiles. It was inevitable, though, that we'd have to hang up, and I found myself counting the hours, minutes, _seconds_ until I could talk to her again. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her a little bit about my past, but I feared that once I opened that can of worms, I wouldn't be able to close it back up. I wasn't sure I was ready to go down that road with her yet, but knew I'd have to face it eventually.

Thursday morning, I woke before the alarm again, laying in bed and taking deep breaths. The pain in my side had lessened considerably over the past couple of days, but I knew getting on my board was still out of the question. I still had an hour though, before I had to make a serious effort about getting ready to head to class. I'd managed to get all my work done the night before, so I opted for a walk on the beach in lieu of the exercise I really wanted. Pulling on a pair of khaki cargo shorts and a worn tournament t-shirt, I slipped out of my room and down the stairs, not wanting to wake my roommates. Emmett had been a fucking bear all week; I didn't want his attitude pissing in my Cheerios.

My flip-flops sat on the deck and sliding my feet into them, I grabbed my smokes before walking down the steps to the boardwalk that crossed the dunes. I heard the ocean long before I saw it, the sounds of the breaking waves a balm to the tension that had built over my appointment later that afternoon. Standing on the shore, curling foam lapping at my ankles, I closed my eyes, turning my face into the sun. Before Bella, the ocean had been the only thing that called to me, made me feel alive. But now, spending time with her brought the same satisfaction.

I heard the footfalls of joggers behind me, their approach sending the gulls careening into the air with raucous caws of indignation. Opening my eyes, I marveled at the colors refracting off the spray caused by the breaking waves. Backing up a few feet, I found a dry patch of sand and plopped down, lighting a cigarette and watching the world wake up around me. The receding shadows from the beach homes were a silent reminder that I needed to get back and head to school. Stubbing out the second cigarette I had enjoyed, I pushed myself to my feet with a groan, missing when I could just spring up a few days ago. When I got back to the house, I brushed the sand off my legs and ass, leaving my shoes outside on the deck again. Smelling the coffee the minute I opened the door, I grabbed a cup and headed upstairs to get ready for school.

By the time I showered, dressed, and walked back downstairs, Edward was pouring his first cup of coffee for the day. I slid my cup across the counter and he filled it up before replacing the carafe. Opening the fridge, I looked for something quick to have for breakfast, since I wasn't in the mood to cook. Seeing nothing, I closed the door with a sigh, then checked the cupboard for some cereal. I spotted a buried box of Lucky Charms and laughed out loud. Snagging the box from where it had obviously been hidden, I reopened the fridge for the milk. I pulled a bowl down and grabbed a spoon before heading to the table with my bounty.

"You aren't really going to eat those are you?" Edward shook his head in bemusement.

"You bet your ass I am. Your cousin had to have stowed them up there. It's his favorite cereal; he'd buy tons of it when we were on the road, eating it like a damn snack right out of the box." I filled the bowl, dousing it with milk and digging in.

"Well, I guess some things haven't changed. He'd drive Mom nuts until she'd buy them when we were kids. By the time he got to high school, he bought his own and hid it in his room."

"He really is a giant five year old, isn't he?" I drank the residual milk out of my bowl before walking over to place it in the dishwasher. I refilled my coffee cup, all the while still talking to Edward. "Hell, he's been in a mood all damn week. I made the mistake of asking him about his date and he snapped my head off, saying he didn't want to talk about it. Has he said anything to you?"

"Nope, not at all. He got in after we went to bed Sunday. If I hadn't seen the Jeep out front, I'd have thought he never came home. He was sprawled out on the sofa when I got home from ODU on Monday. I asked him about TCC and he griped about something with placement tests and deadlines, then stormed up to his room." I burst into a full-bodied laugh while Edward looked at me like I'd lost my mind. "What? What's so funny?"

Holding my aching sides, I gasped out, "He didn't get laid! He has the hots for this girl big time, and she didn't fall for his shtick. Oh my God, too funny! I'm loving this." I wiped tears from my eyes, trying to catch my breath. "We're just gonna have to tiptoe around the big bear for a couple more days, at least until he goes out clubbing and finds some new bimbo to replace her. Mark my words, he's gonna want to go out tomorrow night, I'm sure of it."

With a low chuckle, Edward agreed. I checked the time and told him I'd see him later, before grabbing my bag and heading out to the truck. Tossing it into the passenger's seat, I debated sending Bella a quick text, then decided to wait until lunchtime. I punched in the code for Hair Nation on my XM before pulling out of the driveway. The interstate was a little more congested than it had been earlier in the week, but with the upcoming holiday weekend it didn't surprise me too much. Certain that traffic would be even worse the next day, I made a mental note to leave fifteen minutes earlier as a precaution. The day passed pretty much in a blur, one class rolling into the next. The half hour break around one gave me the opportunity to text Bella. She must have been on her lunch break, too, because she answered almost immediately. I responded to her, and a flurry of back and forth messages ensued, with each of us teasing the other about who was having a worse break. I conceded to her, though, when she said she had to go, one of her students had thrown up.

The easiness of our growing relationship put a smile on my face for the rest of the afternoon, until I hit the end of my last class and faced the daunting task of walking into the counseling center. Having some time to spare, I walked to the small cafeteria on campus to grab something to drink, delaying the inevitable. Pacing back and forth in the hallway, I glowered at the door, dreading the can of worms I was about to reopen. Through the window next to the door, I could see the industrial clock, the second hand sweeping the face, the slow click of the minute hand a silent death knell to my peace of mind. With a muttered oath, I hitched my bag up on my shoulder and opened the door.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

Siobhan Shaughnessey led me into her office, the door closing behind us, the tumbler clicking into place. My heart began racing while I contemplated whether or not I was doing the right thing. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out to silence it, offering Siobhan an apology. She shook her head in dismissal, telling me to take the time I needed while she gathered some things together for our appointment. Taking a quick peek, I was surprised to see a message from Bella. Setting my bag down next to the empty sofa, I took a seat and opened the message. It was a picture of Bella, smears of paint across her cheeks, her eyes dancing with amusement, the message asking if I wanted to continue to debate who was having a better day. I couldn't help the low chuckle that escaped me at the thought of fate working its own magic. I saved the picture to my contacts list, to come up whenever Bella called or texted in the future. With a final look, I turned off the alerts and dropped the phone into the back of my bag. Looking up, I noticed Siobhan's steady gaze, seemingly reading me.

"So, Jasper, I've read over your questionnaire. You noted that you were seeking counseling to help you deal with grief issues due to a loss in your past." My hand tightened into a fist where it rested against the side of my leg. Her eyes flick to it, before coming back to my face. "Before we start, though, may I ask who the message was from? And, before you become defensive, let me explain that I'm only asking due to the marked change in your demeanor. I watched the emotions cycle across your face and the differences in your body language. I'm assuming that whomever it was from is not tied to the reason for you seeking counseling, but is someone important to you. Am I correct?"

"I…uhm… She's my girlfriend."

Saying it out loud to someone other than Bella felt so official, I suddenly wanted to tell everyone. Certain she felt the same way, I let the warmth of the idea flood me, strengthening me to stay seated, even though I'd been shocked and a bit put off by her blunt question. Her gaze remained level, expectant, causing me to shove my hand through my shaggy hair in frustration, my eyes closing for a second, before meeting her eyes.

"She has everything to do with why I'm here. I've spent almost three years running away from my past, avoiding relationships so I wouldn't have to feel again. But in just a few days, without even trying, I found this beautiful woman who's touched my heart in ways I never expected. I'm terrified of screwing it up. I'll do whatever I have to in order to make whatever it is between us work."

Siobhan nodded, her pen tapping against the clipboard lying in her lap, "While I admire your desire to heal for this new relationship, you do realize that in order for counseling to be effective, you need to seek it out for your benefit, not to make someone else happy, don't you? Otherwise, you set up a pattern of people-pleasing that benefits no one, especially yourself. Does your girlfriend…"

"Bella," I supplied. "Her name is Bella."

"Thank you. Does Bella know about the circumstances that brought you here? Did she push you to seek counseling?"

I rubbed the back of my neck, nervousness seeping out of every pore, "No, I… I haven't told her any of it. I've just started dealing with it myself. I spoke with my roommate and his girlfriend, they're the ones who encouraged me to find a counselor." The air in the room was heavy and I struggled to keep my breathing even. "Look, Siobhan, I know I need to do this for me, to reconcile myself with what happened and find my peace, I understand that part. The truth is, though, if I hadn't met Bella, I don't know that I ever would have. She makes me want to be a better person and in order to do that I have to take back the power I've given my past. I've let it influence all the choices I've made since then."

The tapping stopped, and I heard the pen click. "Well, then, let's get to work, shall we?" I didn't realize I'd been holding my breath until her words caused it to escape my lungs in a loud huff. What she said next brought a wry smile to my face at the incongruity. "We'll start with the easy stuff. Tell me about your family."

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

Forty-five minutes later, I walked out of her office with appointments already scheduled twice a week for the next two months on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We'd barely scraped the surface of everything. I'd told her about what growing up with my parents had been like and their disapproval at my failing to kowtow to what they believed best for my life. While I'd mentioned the accident, she didn't push on it, stating she wanted to examine the motivating factors behind the choices I'd made in the circumstances I'd found myself in. When the time was up for our session, I was mentally exhausted but the feelings of dread didn't weight quite so heavy on my heart, making me hopeful I was doing the right thing.

Checking the time, I saw it was nearing six o'clock. The rumbling in my stomach reminded me that I'd eaten very little at lunch. Pulling out my phone, I thought I'd call Bella and see if she wanted to grab a bite to eat, until I saw the text message she'd sent just a few minutes earlier.

**Have to postpone our phone date. One of the other teachers is sick & I'm covering the shift. I'll call when I'm home.-B**

I shot her a quick message telling her to be careful driving home, and I'd talk to her later. Her reply came just seconds later: a smiley face and a couple of X's. Grinning, I closed the message and considered my options. Maybe Alice was at the house and had cooked something; if not, I'd just grab take-out. I hit speed dial for Emmett to see what was going on. The phone rang three times before my friend answered.

"Yeah."

"Just checking in to see if anything had been planned for dinner before I headed home." I shook my head at his continued shitty disposition.

"Edward just left to pick up Alice, they're eating out, and I don't feel like cooking, so nope, nothing's planned. You can take off and do whatever, I'll make a sandwich or something."

"Dude, it's cool. You planning on going out later? I was gonna grab some take out and beer and just hang out. I don't have much homework with the holiday, and a couple professors cancelled classes for tomorrow. Interested?"

"No, I'm not going out, man." He sounded like someone had shot his dog. "You and E are too wrapped up in your chicks to go with me and I don't feel like running without a wingman. If you wanna bring something home, that's fine, I don't give a shit. I'm probably gonna crash early, maybe do some surfing tomorrow. I'll see you when you get here." Without giving me a chance to respond, he hung-up, leaving me staring at my phone trying to figure out what the hell was going on. In the time I'd known him, I'd never heard Emmett sound so beat up. Pulling myself into my truck and kicking over the ignition, I pulled out of the parking lot, still mulling over Emmett's attitude.

When I pulled up in front of the house, I noticed Emmett's Jeep sat in the same place it had been since Monday. Thinking back over the past few days, it occurred to me that I'd only seen him a few times, and when I did he'd been unpleasant as hell to be around. He hadn't mentioned his date with Rosalie, either, which was way out of character. In the past, even when he'd had a shitty time with one of the girls he picked up, I still ended up hearing a blow by blow account of the night's events. Shaking my head in bemusement, I decided to come out and ask him about it, before Edward or I were compelled to smack the shit out of him.

I clambered up the steps and tossed open the front door, singing out "Hi, honey, I'm home!" A muffled grunt came from the sofa, where Emmett lay stretched out, his arm over his eyes. "What? No welcoming kiss? No 'I missed you'? Wow, dude, you suck at domesticity." His responded with a pillow tossed at my head that I avoided with ease. I dropped the bag full of KFC and twelve pack of Landshark on the kitchen island. "Dinner is served, so haul your ass over here, 'cause I sure as shit ain't gonna bring it to you."

Grabbing a plate out of the cupboard, I filled it up and pulled a beer out of the box. Walking into the living room, I kicked Emmett's feet, before plopping into the recliner. Balancing the plate on my leg, I leaned over and pulled the remote out of Emmett's slack grasp, flipping the channel to see what movies were on.

"What the fuck, Jas? I was watching that." He lowered his arm, but still made no move to get up.

"Really? You're watching 'What Not to Wear'? What, are you suddenly worried you aren't fashionable enough?" I settled back, still flipping through channels, "Well, I'm pretty sure the flip-flops are last year's style, and a bit dated, but with the right board shorts, you'll pull them off." I continue to surf the channels, settling on an oldie but goodie. I flipped it on in time to hear one of the best pickup lines ever used in film.

"_Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy…the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch… and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days."_

"Whatever." Emmett stood up and flipped me off, then ambled over to the island, poking at the food in the boxes. He bypassed the food, popping open a beer and leaning against the island, his eyes blazing. He chugged the beer, grabbing another and downing it just as fast. When he grabbed a third, I shook my head, turning my focus back to dinner and the movie. Apparently, though, Emmett needed to pick a fight and I'd become his target.

"You got a problem, Jas?" he sneered, tossing the empty bottle and grabbing yet another.

"Looks like you're the one with the problem. You've been a dick all fucking week and it's getting old. If you need to get laid that bad, go hit a couple clubs. Some chick's bound to bite." Standing, I carried my plate to the sink, grabbing another beer before shoving the box in the bottom of the fridge. "Otherwise, deal with your shit, get over it, and stop sucking down all the beer." I'd had it with his fuck off attitude.

"Oh that's fucking rich! I've put up with your emo shit for three fucking years, never saying fuck all about it. I have a couple shit days and you're gonna jump down my throat? Kiss my ass, Jas! You don't know shit about me and my problems so just shut the fuck up and mind your own damn business." He stormed out the back door, the frame rattling when he slammed the sliding glass shut.

I stood in the kitchen, knowing I'd pushed him too far, but unsure what the hell to do about it. It bothered me, too, that that he felt that way about me. I knew it was past time for me to confide in my friend. He'd dragged me out of more than one mess in the first few months after I met him. I owed him the truth. Opening the back door, I stepped out onto the deck. I could see Emmett's retreating form running down the beach. Determined to wait him out, I grabbed my smokes out of their usual hiding place and settled down in a lounge chair until he got back. I didn't have to wait long.

Thirty minutes later, I heard the sound of Emmett's pounding feet on the beachfront, just on the other side of the dunes. His labored breathing carried up to the deck, right before he became visible on the boardwalk below. I tensed when his heavy footfalls began ascending the stairs, not looking forward to another tirade. He walked past me without a word, entering the house and leaving the door wide open. Less than a minute later he came back with a bottle of water in his hand. He closed the door with a lot less force then the last time, dropping into the chair across from me. We sat in silence, the tension in the air thick. I finished my cigarette, crushing it out on the deck rail, and took a long pull from the bottle in my hand, looking for the right words to begin.

"Look, Jas…Dude, I'm sorry. I've been itching for a fight all week. I know I've been a first rate dick; I'm just trying to figure some shit out and every angle comes up a dead end."

"It's all good. You weren't completely off base; I haven't been fair to you, either. I owe you a shit ton for what you've put up with from me since we met. Most of all, I owe you the whole story."

My hands trembling, I shook another cigarette out. Lighting it, I took a deep drag, staring out at the waning sun over the ocean.

"I never told you I was married, did I?" I saw his jaw working, wanting to say something, but he sat in silence, shaking his head. "Well, she died before I met you. The day I talked you into hitting the tour with me, I'd just received the autopsy report from the coroner."

"The courier." His matter of fact answer assured me that, even though he'd never brought it up, he still remembered that day.

I nodded, and with another drag on the cigarette, began retelling the sordid mess that had been my marriage. To his credit, Emmett remained mostly silent, offering only murmured responses. I chain-smoked through the story, pausing only to grab a fresh beer. I managed to maintain my calm a lot easier than I had when I told Alice and Edward, not dissolving into the mess I'd been Sunday night. When I finished talking, I couldn't meet Emmett's eyes. Instead, I focused on a barge creeping across the horizon, heading out into the Atlantic, wishing I was anywhere but where I sat at that moment.

"Fucking hell, Jas," Emmett broke the silence, his words coming out in a quiet rush of air. "Dude, you've been carrying around this shit all this time and never told me? I… fuck, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry seems pretty fucking trite, but it's all I got." I met the concerned look in his eyes, grateful to see no censure there. "I gotta say though, it sure explains a whole fucking lot of shit I didn't understand. But, dude, you gotta know that it wasn't your fault, right? Sometimes shit just happens, and what she did was way fucking worse than you getting pissed off about it. You were more than justified and handled it a lot better than some guys would have. It's time to let that shit go, bro, and move on."

"I'm working on it." I set my now empty bottle on the table. "You aren't pissed I told Edward and Alice first?"

"Nah, I get it. I know you guys think I'm a fucking clown most of the time. It couldn't have been too easy to talk about the first time, it was probably better they were the ones to hear it. But, you do know, we're friends right? I may tease the hell out of you on shit, but I got your back, always."

"Yeah, Em, I know. Same here, dude. So, your turn. What the hell's been eating at you all damn week? Edward and I are ready to stage an intervention. Was the date that bad? Did she, fuck I don't know, pick her nose at the table or something? Or did you manage to find a pair of panties you couldn't charm your way into?"

Emmett laughed, then winced at my words. He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees, his head dropping into his hands. His hands moved over his forehead, one gripping the back of his neck, frustration surrounding his every move.

"No, nothing like, but I may have gotten more than I bargained for this time."

* * *

_**Chapter Title from the Tom Waits song of the same name**_.

_**I donated a new OneShot to the Fandom Fights Tsunami Relief effort. The story is themed around The Beatles' song In My Life. Donations will be accepted until the end of June. You can find more information on donations at fandomfightstsunami(DOT)blogspot(DOT)com**_

**In My Life story summary**_**: **__**A pregnant Bella is preparing a baby album for her unborn child. While going through the pictures, she recalls special places, people, and memories associated with each one. Some memories are sweet, some are painful, but through tears and perseverance and love, all have shaped her life and brought her joy in one way or another, as well as the love she might have never found otherwise.**_

_**A group for fans of Going Under has been started on Facebook. There is a great bunch of ladies in there and we are always looking for more friends. Come join us to talk about the story, other fic recs, and just generally hang out. We love to talk about fics, 100 Monkeys, and sexy boys. We occasionally post some pics that are for grown-up pervs only. If you are over 18 and want to come play with the cougars, come find us. **_

_**FB group: www(DOT)facebook(DOT)com/#!sk=group_145967552120329&ap=1**_

_**Reviews make my day and I read each and every one, I try to answer them all, too, even with fanfiction's review feature being in fail mode. Go ahead, push the little button and let me know what you think. Happy writers write faster—just sayin'.**_

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	16. Chapter 16: Yesterday Is Here

_**Love and kisses and bewb gropes to my amazing beta/pre-reader team: LaMomo, nails233, Willow, Manda, and Heidi. They keep me on track and make sure I make sense. Any errors are mine, because I don't know when to leave well enough alone.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight; I simply created a storyline that brought them to my hometown.**_

_**Please do not reproduce, translate, caress, or fondle (or lick, nibble, or kiss for the girls from the fan group, for whom I have to be specific since they're abusing poor Jasper!) my story inappropriately in any way. Not that I can do a damn thing about it, but it makes me feel like I have a sense of control.**_

_**I know its been a while, thank you for those who have stuck it out! **_

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**Chapter 16**

**Yesterday IS Here  
**

"_Yeah, Em, I know. Same here, dude. So, your turn. What the hell's been eating at you all damn week? Edward and I are ready to stage an intervention. Was the date that bad? Did she, fuck I don't know, pick her nose at the table or something? Or did you manage to find a pair of panties you couldn't charm your way into?"_

_Emmett laughed, then winced at my words. He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees, his head dropping into his hands. His hands moved over his forehead, one gripping the back of his neck, frustration surrounding his every move._

"_No, nothing like, but I may have gotten more than I bargained for this time."_

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

I spent the better part of the next hour offering Emmett the same support he'd given me when I told him about my disastrous marriage. I knew the entire situation had to be eating him up inside. Emmett might've been a manwhore, but he still had a certain set of values he adhered to. Married women were off-limits: no ifs, ands, or buts. The fact that he'd struggled all week with the situation made it clear, at least to me, that the attraction he felt for the statuesque tow truck driver went beyond physical. What surprised me most of all, though, was the way he'd handled things with Rosalie.

"Wait a minute, Em. You spent the whole evening with the girl, you obviously like her, and yet you haven't had the balls to ask her for more details? Come on, dude! I gotta say, I'm shocked. Have you even talked to her since Sunday?"

"No, man, I did ask her. She told me it's complicated, that she needed more time than we had standing in the parking lot at the shop. She gave me her number and told me to call her."

"Fair enough. So what did she say when you called her?"

Emmett dropped his head, suddenly interested in the wooden deck under his feet. Realizing what his lack of an answer meant, I threw my empty cigarette pack at him. When he looked up, I ripped into him.

"Seriously, Em? You haven't called her, have you? What the fuck, dude? Since when are you a fucking coward? The least, and I mean the very least, you owe the girl is a phone call telling her thanks, but no thanks. You know what I think your problem is? You're scared, 'cause you really like her."

"No shit, Sherlock!" He jumped to his feet, knocking over the deck chair, before pacing back and forth. "I _really_ like her, but not enough to move in on another guy's turf. Hell, its bad enough that we went to dinner, then I played tonsil hockey with her in the parking lot, I don't need it getting more complicated."

"It's just a phone call, Em. No one's telling you that you have to date her. But, I do think you deserve some answers. You told me Rosalie stood up to you, didn't want to date you at first. Did you ever think that she might have really gone out on a limb, thinking she could trust you? Make the phone call, bro. Get your answers, then make a decision about whether or not you want to date her."

Stopping his errant pacing, Emmett looked out over the water. Letting out his breath in a huff, he scrubbed his hand across his face, then dug his phone out of his pocket. He fiddled with it, flipping the screen open, then closed, over and over again. I was just about to shout at him to cut it out when we were both startled by the sound of Van Morrison. His eyebrow quirked up at the chorus of 'Brown-eyed Girl' drifting from my phone.

"Bella?"

'Stuff it, McCarty," I flipped him off while I answered the phone. "Hey, babe. Hang on a second, okay?" Looking at Emmett again, I laid the phone on my chest, "Don't you have a phone call to make, too? Get to it, buddy!"

Turning my back on him, I returned to my phone call.

"'Kay, I'm back. How was work?" I ambled over to the steps, walking down to the beach to sit on the dunes.

"_It's fine. I didn't mind picking up the extra hours. Kenzie, the girl I covered for, is a Navy wife. Her husband's on deployment and her little boy spiked a temp all of a sudden. She didn't have any other options until one of the other girls could make it in. How about you? Your classes go okay?"_

We spent a few minutes sharing our day, but I could hear the weariness in her voice. When she stifled another yawn, apologizing and assuring me it wasn't the company, I laughed and told her to get some sleep. We made plans to meet in the Quad again the next day before hanging up. I sat on the sand for a few more minutes after I ended the call, watching the moon shimmer off the blackened water. A spray in the distance signaled the passing of a school of dolphins, their fins visible beyond the breaking waves. Breathing deep, I soaked in the tangy sea air, ignoring the ache in my ribs. Carlisle had said no surfing, but there wasn't any reason why I couldn't go for a swim.

Checking the beach in either direction, I saw nothing but yards of empty sand. Standing, I shucked out of my clothes, dumping them in a pile on the sea grass. Clad only in a pair of boxers, I strode to the shoreline. Walking a few feet into the tepid water, I dove into an oncoming wave, resurfacing on the other side with a shake of my head. Relaxing, I swam out until the waves moved around my chest when I stood, each one lifting my body with the flow of the currents. _This_. This was my peace. In the ocean, I answered to no one but myself and Mother Nature. Here I found the freedom, the acceptance, that I'd craved my entire life. Lifting my feet, I sank back, allowing my body to float, shutting out everything else but the water, the moon, and my thoughts of Bella.

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I floated for a while, before exiting the water to collapse near my clothes, not in any hurry to return to the house. Finally, realizing how late it had become, I pulled on my shorts and walked back up the small wooden boardwalk that crossed the dunes to the steps. Once inside, I found the TV turned off, the leftovers cleaned up, and Emmett's truck gone from its usual spot out front. I hoped, for his sake and our sanity, that he'd called Rosalie to get some answers. Edward hadn't returned yet, either. He'd invited me to Carlisle and Esme's for the holiday weekend, but I'd declined, telling him I had plans with Bella on Sunday. It wouldn't surprise me if he'd already headed up to Richmond, since he'd also cancelled his Friday classes.

Walking into my room, I closed the door behind me, relishing the quiet in the house. After a quick shower to rinse off the salt and sand from the beach, I pulled on a pair of sleep pants. I plugged my phone in to charge on the nightstand, noticing a few missed texts and a voice mail. Opening the texts, I found one from Emmett that simply said thanks, one from Edward confirming that he wouldn't be back until Monday, and a third from Bella, telling me to check my emails, all her classes were now cancelled for the next day. I debated calling her back, but noticing the message was almost an hour old, I let it go. She'd been exhausted earlier; with her classes cancelled she'd be able to sleep late, too.

I collapsed onto the bed, picking up my laptop, before hearing the subtle reminder chime for the unanswered voicemail. Absentmindedly, thinking Bella might've called before texting, I reached over to push the call button with one hand, while I powered up my laptop with the other. Distracted by the news feed on my browser, I set the phone to speaker and spoke my password. My mother's bored drawl filled the room, causing my stomach to clench into knots.

"_Jasper, honey, it's Mom. Well, of course, you know it's me. Your Daddy has to go to DC next month for some kind of oil hearin' from the twentieth to the twenty-fifth. Since you're right down the highway, I'm plannin' to come with him. We expect to see you when we're in town. We'll be stayin' at the Grand Hyatt. I'll let them know you'll be joinin' us when we check in." _A long pause followed, almost as if she expected an answer. "_You know, you could call and at least talk to your sisters once in a while." _I rolled my eyes. Little did she know I spoke with the twins at least once a week, exchanging emails with them in between calls. _"They're gettin' older; they need a big brother to watch over them, to protect them from those trashy boys that go to their school." _Another long pause. _"I don't understand why you needed to go to college all the way up in Virginia, anyway. You were doin' just fine in Galveston until that silly little incident. Well, just call me back and let me know when you'll be meetin' up with us in DC. Bye."_

Releasing my breath in a slow hiss, my hand shaking with anger, I deleted the message. I knew in my gut that my dad had her make the call, thinking I wouldn't avoid talking to my mother. He thought wrong. I had no intention of going to DC. I'd stopped kowtowing to them the day I left Texas. She still dismissed my marriage, my losses, as an errant blip on her self-perceived, polished record as a parent.

"Fuck!" I slammed my fist into the mattress, my laptop almost bouncing off the bed.

Why the fuck did she have to call just when things were starting to get better? Just when I was starting to feel human again? Shoving myself off the bed, I began pacing back and forth across my room, my rage building with each step. Muttered curses fell from my lips, my body flushed from anger. Without thinking, I spun at the wall, my fist breaking through the dry wall, narrowly missing the wall stud. I didn't feel any pain, or relief. All I felt were the walls closing in on me, my blood roaring in my ears while my pulse raced under my skin. Peeling off my sleep pants, I jerked a pair of shorts on and threw open my bedroom door, embedding the knob in the wall behind it.

_Run. _

_Get away._

_Escape._

I tore down the steps and out the back door, barely stopping to slide it closed behind me. My chest heaving, hot tears rolling down my face, I all but fell down the back stairs. The heavy pounding of my feet on the wooden boardwalk was replaced with a duller thud when I reached the sand. Particles flying around me, I ran down the shoreline until I couldn't breathe, the hot stabbing pain in my ribs causing me to wince with every gasping breath searching for air. Falling to my knees, I wrapped my arms around my chest, my body shaking while the adrenaline rush of my anger wore off. It was only then, after the initial pain had passed, that I remembered what Siobhan had told me in counseling.

"_Your parents only have the power to continue to hurt you if you allow them to. Until you take it back from them, they will always make you feel like you don't measure up. Jasper, you've survived for three years with no help from them. Everything you have, you earned yourself. Don't you think it's time you took your life back, too?"_

At the time, I shook my head, denying they had any control over me. Yet, with one phone call, my self-control had shattered. Kneeling there on the beach, surrounded by mountainous dunes carved by Mother Nature's wrath, I screamed out against everything that I'd let tie me up for years. My voice reverberated around me before being swallowed by the waves crashing against the shore. I screamed until my throat was raw, until the shackles that had locked me into my past began to fall away, then I collapsed upon the damp sand, emotionally and physically spent.

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The harsh shriek of a seagull in my ear startled me awake. I could feel the early morning sun already heating my skin, while I struggled to open my swollen, tear-crusted eyes. Blinking, sand falling from my sticky lashes; I met a quizzical beady black eye staring at me, its clawed feet dancing around my head on the sand, before its beak opened to screech at me again. Sitting up with a groan, gasping at the sharp knifing pain in my side, I brushed myself free of the sand blown across me by the whispering breezes of the night before. I looked around to get my bearings, not sure how far down the beach I'd ran. Squinting into the distance to my left, I could make out the Cape Henry Lighthouse standing sentinel over the waking seascape. Gauging the distance, I knew I'd put in a few miles before I'd collapsed

The sun had yet to clear the horizon, its growing rays glinting off the water and refracting into millions of prisms above its rippling surface. The occasional spray of sea life breaching the surface sent scattered shafts of light up to disappear into the atmosphere. I sat in solitude, occasionally tossing a broken seashell back into the ocean that had washed it ashore. I longed to drag my board out on the water to savor the early morning silence. Even later in the day, when the main strip would fill up; this beach would provide entertainment to residents and their families without the rowdy crowds to mar its quiet perfection.

As if to punctuate my solitude, the dark, lonely wail of a barge's horn drifted across the glistening water while it made its steady way to the mouth of the Elizabeth River. The griping feelings of loss and aloneness had lifted after my outburst, leaving me instead with a bit more peace. I knew they lingered, though, just out of reach, waiting for the next moment of weakness to overcome me. Not anymore. With Siobhan's help, I could win, I _would _win. Determined, I stood up and began the slow, steady trek back home; I had a few phone calls to make, the first one to my counselor.

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_**Chapter title from the Tom waits son of the same name.  
**_

_**I know, quite a bit shorter than what you are used to from me. I tried several times to add more, but nothing worked that would not take away from the importance of Jasper's meltdown. It was time for him.**_

_**I apologize for the extended delay, I never intended to go so long between updates. I ran into some glitches in the story line that I needed to work through before I could continue. The largest, most glaring of those is the secondary storyline involving Emmett and Rose. I couldn't see anyway to work it in, without derailing the plans I had for Going Under. So, after much debate with my friends, and writing companions, nails233 and butterflybetty, the decision has been made to write a companion story for Emmett and Rosalie. It will begin posting sometime after Labor Day and will be entitled The Eye of the Storm. Emmett's POV of seeing Rose at the club the night she towed his truck will start the story, and the existing outtakes will be part of that story, too. **_

_**I am still working on my contest entries over on The Writer's Coffee Shop. I have two original fictions there, Last Summer and The Price of Valor. I hope you will check them out and get to know Misty, Mr. Nate, Ms. Sophie, Trace, and Lynne. **_

_**I read each and every review, and if your PMs are not disabled, I will respond. The best gift you can ever give a writer is constructive feedback on their stories. I hope you like mine enough to do so.**_


	17. Chapter 17: Step Right Up

_**Love and kisses and bewb gropes to my amazing beta/pre-reader team: LaMomo, nails233, Willow, Manda, and Heidi. They keep me on track and make sure I make sense. Any errors are mine, because I don't know when to leave well enough alone. I also skipped sending this to most of them so I could get it out to you. The chapter was actually double in length, but I decided to split it and give you a little more over the next couple of days. The next chapter is within a couple hundred words of done, the one after that just needs to make it from my head to the computer.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight; I simply created a storyline that brought them to my hometown and let them frolic in the Atlantic Ocean.**_

_**Please do not reproduce, translate, caress, or fondle (or lick, nibble, or kiss for the girls from the fan group, for whom I have to be specific since they're abusing poor Jasper!) my story inappropriately in any way. Not that I can do a damn thing about it, but it makes me feel like I have a sense of control.**_

_**I know it's been a while, thank you for those who have stuck it out! RL is a bitch, add in writer's block, and it all pretty much has sucked lately. I hope you feel it was worth the wait for Surfsper to talk to us again.**_

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**Chapter 17 **

**Step Right Up**

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Reaching the base of the steps, I kicked off my flip flops, before turning on the outdoor shower. While it warmed up, I contemplated stripping down and taking a shower right there, but the idea of putting my sand-covered shorts back on afterward squashed the idea. Instead, I cuffed the legs up higher on my thighs, settling for just rinsing off. Tugging off my t-shirt, I winced at the shooting pain across my chest, before dropping it onto the steps next to my shoes, then leaned into the stall to rinse the loose sand off my arms. Gripping the wooden frame to keep my balance, I lifted my legs one at a time, trying not to twist the screaming muscles around my cracked ribs. Cupping my hands under the streaming water, I splashed a couple handfuls on my face, scrubbing over my closed eyes, hoping to shake off the lingering effects of my flight from the house.

Turning off the water, I picked up my shirt and wiped my face, then grabbed my shoes and worked my way up the stairs to the deck. I dropped into a chair, my shoes falling from where they dangled on my fingers. Leaning back, I closed my eyes and tilted my face up toward the warming morning sky. All I heard were the crashing breakers, the low whistle of the wind through the dune grass, the cawing gulls pecking through the remnants of the receding high tide. I allowed the feelings of contentment wash over me. While we'd quickly made the house our home, I didn't think my roommates had any clue how much more it meant to me to be so close to the source of my greatest peace. The only thing that could bring me the same feeling was the moments I spent with Bella. My eyes fluttered at the thought, and with a sigh, I pushed myself out of the chair. With a last look at the sublime beauty of the rising sun, I walked inside.

The pungent aroma of fresh coffee assailed my senses, drawing me to the steaming pot. Edward must have reset it the day before, knowing I couldn't function without at least one cup to start my day. Thanking whatever benevolent deity deemed me worthy, I pulled out a clean cup, filling it with the robust, dark liquid, before adding some sugar and milk. I dropped my t-shirt on the washer to add to the laundry I planned to do later, before wrapping both hands around the cup and taking a tentative sip. Warmth filled me, and I walked toward the steps to go get a shower. Passing the glass door I'd just entered through, my eyes were drawn back outside by the play of the sun across the rippling surf. Longing for a few more minutes of calm, I decided the shower could wait. Stepping back outside, I turned the chair to face the water, before settling into it. Propping my feet on the rail, I watched the morning burst into life across the Atlantic.

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I enjoyed my solitude for another hour, getting up once to refill my coffee. Certain I'd be able to reach Siobhan now, I cast one last regretful glance across the water before re-entering the house. Families had started to drift onto the beach, eager to start their holiday weekend. I didn't even know if I had classes, but it didn't matter. I only had one professor who hadn't cancelled classes the last time I checked, and he didn't take attendance. Deciding it wasn't worth the drive over to the campus for just one class, I filled my coffee cup one more time, then headed up to make some phone calls.

Siobhan and I spoke for the better part of an hour. She supported my decision not to see my parents, but didn't consider just ignoring them to be a possibility.

"_Jasper, you've been running away from dealing with your parents for three years. To be honest, given what you've told me in the couple sessions we've had, I feel you've avoided them emotionally for even longer. There is at least four weeks until they plan to be in DC. I think we need to focus our next few sessions on finally confronting them about the issues surrounding your relationship with Maria and your marriage. I would like to help you develop a course of action for being able to sit down with them and honestly convey your feelings about things. Whether you like it or not, they're your parents, the only set you'll ever have. Do you want to spend the rest of your life on tenterhooks with them? I don't think so. I'm also going to give you the name of a colleague of mine. Makenna is a psychiatrist. I want you to see her about an evaluation for depression." _

When I started to protest, she interjected, telling me to listen before I summarily dismissed the idea.

"_Jasper, depression takes many forms, and is dealt with through various methods, some therapeutic-such as our sessions, some through a short term regimen of anti-depressants, and some through destructive behaviors-such as your outburst last night. Makenna is better able to make an accurate diagnosis. Then, together, the three of us can determine the best treatment methods."_

With reluctance, I accepted the information, promising to call her friend's office the minute we ended our call. After she reconfirmed our appointment for Tuesday, I hit the end button, then dialed the number I'd jotted down for Dr. Makenna Charles. After I explained to the receptionist that I'd been referred to the office by Siobhan, she offered an appointment for later that afternoon. Accepting the four o'clock time slot, I relayed some basic information concerning my overall health, along with the needed information from my health insurance. Wrapping up that call, I sent Bella a text to see if she'd be free around lunch time, before walking into the bathroom and stripping out of my dirty clothes.

The shower's hot water rinsed away some of the tension, along with the remnants of my night spent on the beach. Once I'd scrubbed my skin until it turned pink, I stood under the spray, my head hung forward, allowing it to flow down my body. The oscillating shower head pulsated against the knotted muscles in my neck, easing the band of tension that threatened to creep up to my temples.

Content to stand there until the water turned cold, I twisted my head from side to side. My cell phone playing"Brown-eyed Girl", from where it rested on the sink counter, pulled me from my reverie. I flipped off the water, reaching out to catch the call before it went to voice mail. Breathless, I grabbed a towel while I answered.

"Hey, babe."

"_Hey, Jas. Were you running to catch the phone? I would've left a message." _The teasing lilt in her voice made me smile.

"No, I was just getting out of the shower. Did you get my text?" Balancing the phone on my shoulder, I dried off my chest, before wrapping the towel around my hips and walking back into my room.

"_I did and it sounds great. I'm covering a shift for someone this evening, but I'm free until three. Did you have someplace in particular you wanted to meet?"_

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, I replied, "No, not really. You've been in town longer than I have. Did you find any of those 'locals only' hidden secrets yet?"

She giggled before answering, _"Nope, not yet, but I do know someone I can call and ask for some suggestions, if you want me to." _

"Sounds great. How about I pick you up around noon and we'll figure it out then? Does that give you enough time? If we run late, I could always drop you off at work and pick you up when your shift is over." I gnawed the side of my nail, waiting for her to answer, not sure if I might me pushing, but I really wanted to spend more time with her than we had so far.

"_That's fine if it won't be an inconvenience. My shift ends at ten, so it won't be real late." _Her voice sounded hesitant when she continued,_ "Maybe we could chill out at my place and watch a movie. Rachel's going to be volunteering at the hospital overnight."_ My attention began to wander at the thought of spending several hours alone with Bella, stirring other feelings, too. Her voice brought me back to the conversation. _"Jas? You still there?"_

"Yeah, Bells, I'm still here. That sounds great. I can pick up a couple movies before I come get you from work. We can talk about it more at lunch. See you in a couple hours?"

"_Sure. I'll be ready. See you then." _

Ending the call, I rushed to get dressed and gather up my laundry. Walking out of my room, I just missed bumping into Emmett when he lumbered out of his room, pulling a t-shirt over his head.

"Oops, sorry, Em. I didn't know you were here or I would have paid better attention." I stepped back to let him precede me down the stairs.

"It's cool. I got back around three, or so." He stifled a yawn, before pulling out a coffee cup. He held the pot up in a silent question.

"Nah, I'm good. I had a few cups already this morning." I continued into the laundry room, tossing a load in the washer, adding soap, and turning it on. Walking back into the kitchen, I found him scrounging around in the cupboard.

"Hey, who the hell's been eating my cereal?" He shook the box of Lucky Charms, turning to glare at me. "Never mind I know it was you; Edward wouldn't touch them. Dude, you eat all my damn cereal, you better fucking buy me a new box," he continued to grumble while pouring himself a bowl.

Laughing, I shoved him away from the counter, before dropping a couple pieces of bread in the toaster. "It's a deal. Maybe I'll even join Sam's Club or some shit like that, so I can buy the industrial-sized box. It might last you a week longer that way." Shooting him a look out of the corner of my eye to watch his reaction, I pried into the night before. "So, you called Rose?"

A half-smile graced his face, "Yeah, I called Rose. We talked for a few hours, it was good. Thanks for pushing me." He returned his attention to the cereal he'd been shoveling in his mouth.

Pulling the finished toast, I spread it with peanut butter, then sat down at the island. "Just talked? Really? And you didn't make it home until three in the morning? Must have been one hell of a conversation."

He flipped me off, then lifted the bowl to drink the milk that remained in the bottom. Seeing my doubting expression, he lowered it, wiping his arm across his mouth. "What? You don't believe me?"

Taking a bite of toast, I continued to stare at him, swallowing before I answered, "Sorry, bro. your reputation precedes you. Five hours of conversation is a stretch for me to imagine."

He set the bowl in the sink, then walked over to where I sat. Slapping me on the shoulder, he leaned closer. "Well, believe it buddy boy, 'cause it's the truth. But, I will be seeing her again." With that parting shot, he took the steps two at a time.

"Damn it, Em, that's not fair!" I shouted up the stairs, only to hear his bellowing laughter rolling back down at me. "Fine. I see how it is! See if you get anymore deets about me and Bella, you asshole!" He laughed again, then I heard his door shut. He could keep all the secrets he wanted. I had my friend back, instead of the brooding jerk we'd had to deal with for the last week.

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Pulling into Bella's apartment complex shortly before noon, I spotted her out at the bank of mailboxes in the center of the parking lot. Tooting my horn, I pulled up next to them, putting down the window to be greeted by her radiant smile. She sauntered over to the truck, stepping up on the running board to lean in the window and give me a kiss.

"Hey, Cowboy," she whispered against my lips.

I slid my arm around her to help her keep her balance. "Hey, pretty girl. Wanna go to lunch? I'm supposed to be meeting my girlfriend, but…" I was silenced by her kissing me again.

Pulling her mouth away, she shoved my arm. "Very cute! I just need to drop this mail inside and grab my bag."

"Want a ride?" Without waiting for her answer, I lifted my foot off the brake and eased the truck forward, smiling at her excited shriek while she wrapped herself around my arm and grabbed the door frame.

"Jas! Oh my God, I'm going to fall!"

"No, you're not. I've got you sweetheart, I promise." I pulled into a parking spot in front of her building. "I won't ever let you fall." I put the truck in Neutral and turned to kiss her again. "Never."

I reached up to hold the back of her head, my fingers tangling in the softness of her hair, my mouth slanting over hers. I didn't deepen the kiss, just teased her, pulling the bottom one between my lips, before releasing it, only to repeat the same on the top one. I felt her sigh, and opened my eyes before pulling away. Placing a small kiss on the tip of her nose, I sent her to get her stuff. Watching her walk away, I admired the sway of her hips in the denim capris she wore. The cheeky wink she shot me from the door, assured me she knew I'd been watching.

Tapping my fingers on the steering wheel while I waited, I turned up the radio, letting the haunting strains of India Arie's voice fill the cab, singing a remake of 'While My Guitar Gently Weeps'. I closed my eyes, letting the intricate guitar chords sweep over me. The conversation I'd had with the guys I'd met at Smackwater Jack's returned to me. I'd played open mic nights a few times while gypsying my way across country with the surf circuit. I'd never thought too much of it; if anyone hated it I never knew, having moved on within days of playing. Maybe I could start playing more, get in on a couple sets around town. I knew I'd enjoy it; I could even have my friends there to cheer me on, or buy me beer if I fall flat on my face.

Lost in my own thoughts, I didn't see Bella return, but when the passenger door opened, I opened my eyes and watched her pull herself into the cab. Dropping her bag on the floor, she buckled her seatbelt. She'd pulled her hair up in a ponytail, the ends curling around each other and dancing against her neck. My fingers itched to pull it down, wrap it around my hand and pull her closer, but I pushed the thought away. We only had a few hours together before she had to go to work. _Later, though_…I thought to myself. Tamping down the desire that flared, I reached over to pick her hand up off the seat.

"So, where to? Did your friend have any suggestions?"

"Several actually, it just depends on what you want to eat. She raved about a Mexican restaurant that's not too far from where I work; she said its authentic, not like the chain restaurants. She also mentioned a couple places that were closer to the beach."

"Mexican sounds good; just point me in the right direction."

Letting go of her hand, I put the truck in gear, and backed out, following the simple directions she passed on to me. Within minutes, we were sitting in the parking lot of an attractive little restaurant called Plaza Azteca. Walking around to the passenger's side, I helped her out of the truck, twining my fingers with hers when we walked up to the door. The interior was dimly lit, the walls covered in sepia toned pictures; dark, wooden, high-backed booths with deep red cushioned seats ran in rows down the outer walls with a collection of small tables filling the center.

We were led to an out of the way booth, the server placing a basket of chips with a bowl of salsa and a bowl of queso in the center of the table, before handing us each a menu. Giving him our drink orders, he wandered toward the alcove that led to the kitchen. Over the Mariachi music piped into the dining room, I heard raised voices, the Mexican accents thick, while they called out orders to each other. Dipping a chip in the bowl of creamy white queso, I relished a taste I hadn't enjoyed in a long time. Bella's friend had been right, I wouldn't get much more authentic, especially this far North of the border.

When the server returned, we placed our orders. The next hour and a half was spent in idle conversation, revolving around school, Bella's job, and our friends. I held her hand when I could, my thumb stroking circles across the velvet soft skin of her wrist. All too soon, though, I needed to settle the check and run her to work. Reaching the large daycare center, I parked the truck, leaving the engine running, while I walked around to help her out. Closing her door, I backed her up against it, Cupping her cheek with one hand, while I held hers with the other.

"Thanks for coming with me to lunch," I whispered, before placing a gentle kiss on her plump lips.

"Thanks for inviting me. We still on for after work?" she whispered back, her free hand resting against my chest.

"Absolutely. Still ten o'clock?" She nodded in assent, before I continued, "What movie do you want to watch? Anything in particular, or do you just want me to get something that looks good?"

"I trust you. Just not too much blood and gore, okay?"

"Deal." I looked at the door of the center, then back at her with a wistful sigh. "I guess I'd better let you get inside. I'll see you here at ten. Have fun with your kids."

I gave her one last kiss before stepping back to let her walk into the building. She stopped and waved from the door, before letting it close behind her. Climbing back in the truck, I pulled out the information for Dr. Charles from my wallet and punched the address into my GPS. With a parting glance at the door Bella had just disappeared into, I pulled out of the parking lot. Praying that the doctor's appointment wouldn't be as bad as I feared, I followed the directions to the next stop on the path to becoming a whole person again.

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_**I know I've been fail on review replies, but please know, I read and cherish each and every one of them. I promise a teaser for every review I get on this chapter! **_


	18. Chapter 18: Tell It To Me

_**It's officially been one year since I threw up a chapter on fanfiction, at the insistence of a dear friend (who I miss terribly),while believing no one would want to read about my broken surfer trying to start over. Imagine my surprise when the first review came in, begging for more. In that time, I've come to know many of my readers and am thrilled to call several friends. I can't begin to explain what this has been like for me, being able to write and share my interpretations of the characters Stephenie Meyer has been so gracious to share with us all. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart to those who have been here all along, and to all who have drifted in over the course of the other 17 chapters, I'm glad you were willing to give my foolishness a shot and decided to stick around. **_

_**Love and kisses and bewb gropes to my amazing beta/pre-reader team: LaMomo, nails233, Willow, Manda, and Heidi. They keep me on track and make sure I make sense. Any errors are mine, because I don't know when to leave well enough alone. **_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight; I simply created a storyline that brought them to my hometown and let them frolic in the Atlantic Ocean.**_

_**Please do not reproduce, translate, caress, or fondle (or lick, nibble, or kiss for the girls from the fan group, for whom I have to be specific since they're abusing poor Jasper!) my story inappropriately in any way. Not that I can do a damn thing about it, but it makes me feel like I have a sense of control.**_

* * *

**Chapter 18**

**Tell It To Me**

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I found Dr. Charles' office a half hour later, located in a multi-storied brick building on First Colonial Road, near the hospital. I sat in the truck for a few minutes, trying to control the anxious thoughts that rattled around in my mind. It had been one thing to talk to Siobhan. She didn't diagnose me; she listened to what I wanted to say, pushing me to face what I needed to when I didn't have the courage to do it on my own. Seeing Dr. Charles would be different. I already knew I had problems, having someone confirm it wouldn't make it any easier to face them.

_Snap out of it, Jas!_ I berated myself. _I just need a smoke, it'll calm me down. _I reached over and opened the glove box, forgetting I'd taken the pack of cigarettes out of there the day before. With a muttered curse, I jerked the keys out of the ignition, clambering out of the truck, and slamming the door shut behind me. I still had fifteen minutes before my appointment, but I didn't know the area well enough to go looking for a convenience store. Instead, I paced in front of the office building, steeling my nerves for the unknown I'd be facing.

When I couldn't wait any longer, I entered the main lobby, pushing the button to call the elevator. Rocking back and forth on my heels, my fingers drummed a staccato beat on my crossed arms; while I watched the numbers count down to the ground floor. Letting the passengers disembark, I slouched into the corner near the control panel, jabbing the button for the fourth floor. The ride up seemed faster than the time spent waiting in the lobby, and within seconds, I found myself discharged into a large hallway decorated in a tranquil beach décor. Dr. Charles' office stood to the right of the elevator bank, a full glass door giving me a clear view of the waiting area. I wasn't sure what I expected to see, but the two other patients sitting there looked like everyday people. One, a middle-aged woman, perused a fashion magazine, while the other, an older gentleman, appearing to be in his late sixties, poured over a crossword puzzle book.

_Well, they look normal enough,_ I thought to myself, when I entered the room. Approaching the receptionist, I checked in, accepting a clipboard full of papers that needed to be filled out. Settling in a corner, away from the others in the room, I began filling out the forms. The first couple of pages were easy: basic personal information, insurance, personal and family medical history. The packet of questions that followed unnerved me, though, starting with the first one.

**What brought you to our office? **Avoiding the real answer, I wrote in that I'd been referred by Siobhan.

A series of statements followed, requiring that yes, no, or sometimes be chosen as an answer. My hand shook while going through them, each one forcing me to fully examine my behavior, attitude, and disposition over the course of my life, particularly the last three years.

**Feelings of worthlessness: **I shifted in my seat, checking yes.

**Sleeplessness: **Another yes, followed by a low sigh.

**Periods of rage resulting in violent behavior: **Slouching uncomfortably, with a glance around me, I checked yes again.

**Thoughts of suicide: **I rubbed my neck, before marking sometimes.

**Reckless or destructive behavior: **My fingers tightened around the pen, my knuckles turning white, while I checked yes again.

On and on, the questions continued, variations of the same theme, each one stirring emotions I'd rather leave buried in the unmarked grave I'd shoved them into. Reaching the last one, I breathed a sigh of relief, before flipping the page to find more questions, these requiring more in-depth answers.

**When did the feelings you marked yes to first begin? **Though it would be easy to peg much of it on what happened with Maria, I knew it wasn't entirely true. I'd fought some of them since I was a child. My parents had never involved themselves in anything the twins or I did, unless it directly reflected on them as parents or upstanding members of society.

**Explain any personal tragedies that have occurred in the last five years, including the feelings they invoked: **A cold sweat broke out on my neck, while my heart fought against the vice grip of panic that clamped down on it. Struggling to put the words to paper, I blocked out the room around me. I didn't hear the nurse call my name, not realizing it was time for my appointment until she stepped in front of me and touched my arm.

"Mr. Whitlock?" I looked up, feeling overwhelmed without having spoken to anyone yet. "Dr. Charles will see you now."

Nodding my head, I gathered up the rest of the forms I'd set to the side, sliding the whole pile under the clip. "I didn't quite finish these yet."

"That's fine, sir. Dr. Charles will look them over and let you know if she needs more. They help her get an overview of where best to start her evaluation." She stepped back, allowing me room to stand. "If you'll follow me, I'll take you to her office."

We entered the inner sanctum through a door next to the reception desk. Following her down a long, narrow hall, I noticed the oversized pictures that lined the walls. Photographs of the beach, dunes, and the ocean, at sunrise and sunset, had been blown up; the intricate beauty of Mother Nature reflected in the seascapes many took for granted. Reaching the end of the hall, the nurse knocked on a closed door, opened it, then stepped back to let me enter.

Next to the desk sat a petite woman, no taller than Alice, with her foot propped up on an ottoman, a cast extending under the flowing batik skirt she wore. "Please, come sit down, Mr. Whitlock, and pardon me for not standing to greet you." She waved toward a vacant chair and sofa across from her. "May I call you Jasper?"

"Yes, Dr. Charles, that's fine, or you can call me Jas. It's the nickname all my friends use."

Her voice carried a slight lilt, an undercurrent of an accent I couldn't quite place. Given her flaming red hair, green eyes, and creamy complexion, I figured she might be Irish. The picture over the sofa, a Celtic knot with a claddagh in the middle, confirmed it. Avoiding the sofa, and the negative images I'd seen concerning therapy over the years, I settled into the armchair, the clipboard resting across my legs.

"Did you get a chance to go through the forms? Do you have any questions about anything?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I finished all but the last page. I can do it now, if you need me to." I leaned forward, handing her the clipboard. "I did have a question. What do all of those questions tell you? They all seem like a variation of the same thing."

"Well, to an extent, I suppose some of them are." She flipped through the pages, making notes on a notepad next to her. "Essentially, it gives me a bit of an overview into your frame of mind. Changing subtle aspects of the wording enables a deeper comprehension into your perception of your emotional wellbeing."

"So, by reading my answers to a bunch of questions, you can determine if I'm nuts and need drugs to deal with it?" I shook my head. "Seems a bit far-fetched to me."

"I can understand why you might think that. This is just a starting point; more of a stepping stone, really. It helps establish a path of treatment, involving whatever methods, you, Siobhan, and I decide, collectively, will help you resolve the issues that are troubling you." She closed the papers, placing them under the notebook, before looking at me, again. "When I saw you'd been referred by Siobhan, I asked her to fax over her notes so we're all in the same place. You've only met with her once, correct?"

"Yeah, just the one time on Thursday. Well, and a lengthy phone call this morning, too."

"I see. Can you tell me what prompted the phone call? I don't see anything about it in her notes, but she might not have had the opportunity to update them yet."

I spent the next few minutes going over the phone call. Then, Dr. Charles asked several questions about what Siobhan and I had discussed during my appointment on Thursday. Her questions were more pointed than Siobhan's had been. Later, I realized the difference. Where Siobhan's goal had been for me to work through things to come to my own realizations, Dr. Charles analyzed the information to find common factors in how or why I'd avoided dealing with the issues in my life. When the conversation lagged, Dr. Charles made quick shorthand scrawls on her notepad, then probed from a different angle. By the end of the first half hour, I felt like I'd been turned inside out, my heart and soul on display for the world to pick apart. I couldn't see how any of this would help more than what Siobhan and I were already working on together.

Slumping back in my chair, my hands clenching the armrests, I drew in a deep breath in an effort to calm the anger I felt building inside. Dr. Charles looked at me, noted my body language, then made another notation.

"Look, Dr. Charles, I've told you everything Siobhan knows." Lifting my hand to my eyes, I rubbed across them, pressing against the headache I felt building. "I've picked apart my feelings until I feel like I'm bleeding. What's the point?"

"Based on your medical history, you say you've never been treated for depression, that you never sought counseling, even after your wife's accident. You've also told me your reasoning behind that. While I am all in favor of allowing a patient to work through things on their own time, I also understand that your past has made you hesitant to become intimately involved with a young woman you've recently begun dating." She glanced down, then met my eyes again. "Jas, all of these feelings you're dealing with now are normal, and an integral part of the grieving process. Unfortunately, you put the process on hold three years ago, opting to shut yourself off from any situation that would force you to deal with your past. Now, you've reached a point where you want to move forward, but your psyche is forcing you to complete that process."

She reached down into an accordion folder next to the chair, flipping through a series of files, before pulling out something. Leaning forward, she handed me a couple pieces of paper stapled together.

"Are you familiar with the five stages of grief?" I shook my head, looking over the handout she'd given me. "Okay. Several years ago, it was put forth that mourning is a universal process, with five clear, defined stages. Some schools of thought have expanded it to seven, but most believe the last two are more a normal progression once the fifth stage is achieved. The stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Each stage is pretty self-explanatory. While each is an essential process to recover from the loss of a loved one, they don't necessarily occur in any particular order," she paused, waiting for me to look up, her eyes softening before she continued, "Understand, too, these stages do not just apply to death. They can apply to any type of loss. In your life, not only did you lose your wife and unborn child in a tragic accident, you were also in the process of dealing with the end of your marriage due to your wife's prior actions. Based on what you've told me and the notes I have from Siobhan, I would say that you have already worked through the initial denial of her betrayal, wondered what things you could have done differently to prevent her taking the actions she did in your marriage with relation to the false pregnancy and hiding the current one from you. I believe you aborted your grieving process in a combination of the isolation, anger, and depression stages. While isolation is typically part of the initial grief phase of denial, your avoidance of your family, reluctance to share with your friends, and hesitance to build new relationships clearly exhibit that the initial phase hasn't been completed."

"Wait," I interrupted, "Are you saying I haven't even begun to heal my heart?" A lump formed in my throat. "Am I going to have to put the rest of my life on hold to do that?"

"No, on the contrary. Your relationship with your friends, and your new girlfriend, are an even bigger impetus for you to work through these steps. You've confided in your friends, something that was a huge step for you to take. It's my understanding your relationship with …" she paused, looking through her notes.

"Bella, her name is Bella," I supplied.

"Yes, thank you. It's my understanding that she has just become a part of your life. Is that correct?"

"Yeah, we met a little over a week ago. After spending most of Saturday and Sunday with her, I knew I wanted more than something casual. I think she feels the same way." I rubbed my hand on my leg, remembering the tender look in Bella's eyes when I gave her the necklace on Monday.

"I do believe, if you are serious about this young lady, which, given that smile when you said her name, I believe you are, then you do need to sit down with her and tell her about your past." Seeing my concern, she stopped me before I could interrupt, "I'm not saying you need to do it today, or even this week. But, I do think it needs to be in the near future. For just one minute, put the shoe on the other foot, and imagine how you would feel if you discovered Bella had kept something like this a secret from you."

"I don't need a minute. I'd be hurt that she felt she couldn't trust me with the truth, that she wouldn't let me help her." Realization flooded me.

"Exactly. So, it's not a stretch to imagine she might feel the same way if, six months down the road, this were to come out. You are denying her the same opportunity you'd expect for yourself. Now, based on what we've talked about, where do you feel you are in the grief process?"

Looking back down at the papers I held, I took a minute to compose my thoughts, to step back from the emotions and take a clinical look at things. "I think you're right about the anger and depression. It explains my outburst last night, even my aggressive reactions to situations that don't warrant it. I feel like I've made progress past the isolation, though, most of it in just the past few days."

"I'm inclined to agree with your assessment. That brings us to what's needed to help you get to a point of acceptance and moving on, which is why Siobhan recommended you come see me. Your anger and depression are both stages you need to work through, but there are measures we can take to help you cope better with the emotional upheavals they cause. I'd like to write you a prescription for Paxil. It's one of the better choices for short-term use. Paxil has been proven effective in the treatment of not only depression, but also anxiety, both of which you are battling. You'll get double the benefits in one pill."

"What are the potential side effects?" I shoved my hair off my face, stopping to massage my temples.

"The most common side effects are headaches and some nausea, both of which tend to resolve themselves after the first few days. Sleeplessness, or the reverse, drowsiness, if occurring, may last a week or two, but also tends to resolve itself, usually through adjusting the dosage or the time of day the pill is taken." Reaching into the pocket of her sweater, Dr. Charles pulled out a prescription pad. "Jas, I understand your reluctance to take an anti-depressant. People view it as a crutch, a way to avoid dealing with their problems. That's not the case at all. The medication is merely another tool. It allows you the clarity needed to effectively work through and overcome the triggers you need to face." Leaning forward, she passed me the prescription. "I've written the dosage at twenty-five milligrams. While men are often prescribed the next higher dose, your lack of prior medication usage makes me hesitant to go with more. I want you to come back and see me in six weeks, so we can evaluate the meds. However, if you don't begin to feel some relief after the first week, I need you to call me right away. We might need to make an adjustment in the dosage or the time of day you take it."

Standing, I stepped closer to shake her hand. "Thank you, Dr. Charles. I appreciate you taking the time to meet with me on such short notice, especially given the holiday weekend. I'll see you in six weeks." While I still wasn't thrilled about the drugs, I'd resigned myself to taking them.

Noticing my frown, she added a final thought, "Jas, the drugs aren't forever, I promise. Let's get you through this so you can move on. I'd like you to enjoy being a young man again."

Nodding, I left the room, pulling the door closed behind me, the latch settling into place with a quiet click. I stopped at the reception desk to schedule my follow-up, then asked for directions to the closest pharmacy. Making my out of the building to my truck, I reflected on what Dr. Charles had said about Bella. I wondered if she was right. Was I wrong in not telling Bella the truth yet? It wasn't a direct ploy to be deceptive, I just wanted the chance to get to know her, without all the shit from my past dicking things up. Surely, when the time came, she'd understand why I'd made the choices I had in regards to telling her everything. While I desperately wanted to believe that, a little voice in the back of my mind prodded me to reconsider.

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_**As someone who has battled depression for years, I know one of the hardest things to do is accept the reality of it. When it is compounded by grief, it becomes a chore just to get out of bed some mornings. Everyone will, at some time in their life, be affected by depression - their own or someone else's.**_ _**Please, if you or someone you know suffers from feelings of worthlessness, has lost interest in their day to day life, or has withdrawn from friends and family—DON'T IGNORE IT. Seek help, and know that you are not alone. Approximately 18.8 million Americans exhibit signs of depression every year. **_

_**Information on the five stages of grief can be found here: **_

http:/psychcentral(DOT)com/lib/2006/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/

_**While I have not taken Paxil myself, a close family member has been on it for quite some time. The information I used was found at the following website: **_http:/depression(DOT)emedtv(DOT)

_**Once again, the Chapter title, as always, is from the Tom Waits song of the same name. **_

_**Next up-Movie Night with Bella! I guarantee it will be WAY more interesting than the one with Jessica in New Moon.  
**_


	19. Chapter 19: That Feel

_**Love and kisses and bewb gropes to my amazing beta/pre-reader team: LaMomo, nails233, Willow, Manda, and Heidi. They keep me on track and make sure I make sense. Any errors are mine, because I don't know when to leave well enough alone. Special thanks to HeartOfDarkness, for stepping in when I was too anxious to wait on anyone else this time around.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight; I simply created a storyline that brought them to my hometown and let them frolic in all the places I know and love.**_

_**Please do not reproduce, translate, caress, or fondle (or lick, nibble, or kiss for the girls from the fan group, for whom I have to be specific since they're abusing poor Jasper!) my story inappropriately in any way. Not that I can do a damn thing about it, but it makes me feel like I have a sense of control.**_

* * *

**Chapter 19**

**That Feel**

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Following the directions I'd been given, I found the pharmacy the doctor's office had recommended. While I waited, I walked over to the Blockbuster Movie store across the parking lot. Perusing the racks of new releases, I settled on a romantic comedy I'd read favorable reviews on, then picked an action flick for a second choice. Once I'd picked up my prescription, I still had a few hours to kill until I needed to retrieve Bella from work. I weighed the idea of driving home and possibly squeezing in a couple hours of studying, but dismissed it almost as quickly as it appeared. With an unexpected free day, it was past time I tried to enjoy my life.

The daycare center sat on the road that ran behind the mall. Knowing a large Barnes & Noble anchored one end, I headed back in that direction to kill time in the stacks. After entering the mammoth book store, I wandered aimlessly around, not looking for anything in particular. I picked up the newest John Grisham novel, then moved on to the section containing books on social sciences. Remembering Dr. Charles' handout on grieving, I pulled out a couple books that dealt with the same subject matter, along with _Depression for Dummies._ I snorted, finding a certain sense of irony in the title.

I stopped in the café for a cup of coffee, then staked out a corner table, where I began looking through the nonfiction books I'd chosen. Flipping through the table of contents in the book on depression, I skipped to a chapter on handling it. The author recommended keeping a journal, a tool I'd tried in the days right after the accident. Once I'd left Galveston, though, the idea lost its appeal. At the time, I'd been trying to escape my past, not relive it. Writing things down had only reinforced my grief, so I'd put the notebook away, hoping to push it all behind me, to move on with my life. Instead, in random, unaware moments, when I'd begin to feel almost normal, the nightmares would return. The memories were dragged out of the box I'd locked them, returning to haunt me again.

In retrospect, I understood what Dr. Charles had meant when she'd said I'd aborted the stages of grief. Perhaps, if I'd continued the journaling, I might have progressed farther in letting the past go. It's only after talking to my friends, and my two counselors, that I'd begun to relinquish the hold I'd had on the guilt. What if everyone else was right? Did Maria deserve some of the blame for what happened that night? If I've been allowing the issues from my past to prevent me from moving on, what did it say about me?

Rubbing my eyes, I sat back in the chair, noticing for the first time how empty the store had become. While I reached for my phone, the store's intercom system cackled to life, informing shoppers they had fifteen minutes until closing. Surprised by the amount of time I'd lost, between reading the book and reflecting on the past, I gathered my things to check out. At the counter, I handed the extra books to the clerk, intending to only buy the Grisham novel. Instead, when she turned to add them to a pile for re-shop, I stopped her, instructing her to ring them up, too. I acted on impulse, not sure what I expected the books to do for me, but willing to take another step.

Walking out to the truck, I paused to stash the bag of books behind the seat, before climbing in the cab. With another half hour to kill until I needed to get Bella, and my stomach reminding me that it had been a good seven hours since we ate lunch, I looked around for someplace to grab something. Spotting a grocery store nearby, I contemplated running in to grab some snacks to eat while we watched the movies. After starting the truck, I pulled through the parking lot toward the other store. Seeing the cluster of restaurants up the road changed my mind, and I opted for the Chili's about a block away.

Once I entered the restaurant, I approached the bar to place a take-out order, choosing several items from the menu based on what I'd seen Bella eat during the few meals we'd shared. While I waited, I accepted a Coke from the bartender. Thrumming my fingers on the bar, I turned a disinterested eye to the baseball game on the large screen TV hanging over the bar. Football was the only sport I'd ever enjoyed watching, though I'd rather be in the stadium to do it. There again, I'd disappointed my father, choosing to root for the Green Bay Packers instead of the Cowboys, or even, God forbid, the Texans.

I checked the time when I finished my soda, becoming nervous about being late to pick up Bella. Looking around for the bartender, to check on the order, I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw him approaching with the bag full of take-out containers. I handed him a tip, before rushing back out to the truck and retracing my path to get back to the mall. Cutting through the lot brought me out less than a block from the daycare center, ensuring I would arrive in plenty of time.

At ten o'clock, I stepped from the truck, lounging against the front bumper to smoke a cigarette while I waited. I didn't miss the telltale shake in my hands when I raised it to my lips. It felt like the nervous feelings would never go away. _Get over it Jas, you're not doing anything wrong, _I chided myself. Seeing the heavy door open, I pushed myself to a standing position, stubbing the cigarette out under my foot and wiping my suddenly sweaty palms on the hem of my shirt. The large safety lights over the door illuminated Bella when she exited, the burnished highlights in her hair glinting, her smile extending to her eyes when she saw me waiting.

I met her halfway between the door and the truck, reaching out to take her book bag from her hand, before giving her a kiss.

"Hey, babe. How was work?"

"Not too bad, but the best part was clocking out, knowing you were waiting for me." She leaned up for another kiss.

She twined her fingers in mine while we walked to the parking lot, telling me about some of the children's antics. Not her typical class, there were fewer kids, and she'd spent most of the evening working on crafts with them. Flecks of glitter dotted her cheeks, making her seem even more carefree than usual. I helped her settle in the truck, then rushed around it to join her.

"What's in the bag, Cowboy? It smells delicious and I'm famished."

"Just a few things for us to share while we watch the movies. I didn't know if you'd eaten anything since lunch." I gestured toward the bag, my attention focused on the traffic released by the changing stoplight. "I wasn't sure what you'd like, either, so I opted for a variety. Hopefully I hit on something that appeals to you."

"I'm sure whatever you settled on will be fine; there are very few foods I absolutely won't eat."

While I pulled out on to the main road, I felt Bella slide across the seat, fastening herself into the center belt, before resting her head on my shoulder. I glanced down to see her staring up at me. Returning my attention to the road, I felt a blush creep up my cheeks under her perusal. Hearing a low sigh, I glanced down again, letting go of the steering wheel with one hand to take hold of hers.

"What is it? Is my hair a mess? Do I need to shave?" The butterflies were back, their wings beating faster than my heart.

She squeezed my hand before answering. "No, Jas. It's fine; you're fine. Everything is wonderful. I'm enjoying the view, that's all. You know, you're almost pretty, in a manly way."

"What?" I spluttered out a response. "Pretty? I don't think I've ever been called pretty. I'm not even sure that's a compliment! Rugged...handsome...even stunning would work, but pretty? That hurts, Bella."

I could feel her shoulders shaking against my side, but I couldn't see her expression, her hair having fallen over her face. She shoved it back, looking up again with tears teasing the corners of her eyes, while she struggled to contain the laugh that built inside her. Giving up, she let it out, the interior of the truck filled with her melodious giggles.

"Oh, Oh." Bella fanned her face, trying to compose herself. "I wish you could see your expression! I meant it as a compliment, honest."

Once I'd parked the truck in the visitor's spot in front of her apartment building, I unfastened my seatbelt and turned to face her. "You question my manhood and find it hysterical?" Shaking my head, I feigned distress. She wasn't fooled.

"Oh, please! You have a mirror in your bathroom; don't tell me you never look at yourself. Your eyebrows are naturally symmetrical, you have cheekbones the average model would kill for, and your lips…"

I stopped her then, covering her mouth with said lips before she could continue.

My hand lifted to slide around her neck, my fingers gliding through her luxuriant mane of hair, to cradle the back of her head. Her mouth opened under mine, her tongue grazing the fullness of my bottom lip, before I captured it lightly with my teeth. Her hand wrapped around my arm, unable to completely circle my bicep, her nails digging into the flexed muscle. My other arm circled her waist, pulling her across to straddle my thighs when I sat back against the seat, the searing pain in my ribs blocked by the raging desire that suddenly consumed me. Low moans filled the cab, the sounds coming from both of us, when my hand brushed across the thin strip of exposed skin above the waist of her capri pants.

Bella inched forward, her knees pressing into the seat, her free hand cupping my cheek, while she used the other to pull herself tighter against me. Gasping, I fought for control; the feel of her ass grinding against my crotch stretching my thin grasp to the limit. I released her mouth, my hands moving down to still her hips, while I rested my forehead on her shoulder. Raspy breathing surrounded us, both our chests heaving over the sudden escalation of a simple kiss.

"Bells," I forced out, my voice thick with thinly bridled passion, "babe, we need to go inside. You're neighbors are damn close to seeing more than they bargained for when they take out the trash."

Reluctantly, I eased her off my lap, unable to miss the shadow of disappointment in her eyes. Pulling my keys out of the ignition, I reached across her to pick up the bag of food. Placing her hand on my shoulder, she stopped my movement.

"Jas?" The uncertainty in her voice sent a shot of pain straight to my heart. In my attempt to not hurt her, I'd done just that. "Is there something wrong?"

Cupping her face, I brushed my thumb across her cheek. "No, Bella. Nothing's wrong. Look at me, sweetheart." I waited for her to meet my eyes. "I care about you, more than I expected I ever would about anyone, ever again. I care about you enough not to molest you in my truck in a public parking lot. When we do this, I want it to be perfect, because once we do…there's no going back for me. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

A small gasp left Bella, her lips forming an "O". She nodded, moving closer to place a tender kiss on my mouth. Pulling back, she whispered, "I feel the same way."

"Come on, let's go inside and watch some movies. I want to cuddle up on the sofa with my girlfriend."

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* * *

_**Chapter title from the Tom Waits song of the same name. **_

_***Speaking from behind a fortified bunker* **_

_**Honest, I was gonna add more, but uuuhhhhmmmm My beta, nails 233, and my partners in crime, mavvy and butterflybetty, convinced me this was a PERFECT place to stop. Hunt them down, not me! **_


	20. Chapter 20: Goin' Down Slow

_**Love and kisses and bewb gropes to my amazing beta/pre-reader team. They keep me on track and make sure I make sense. Any errors are mine, because I don't know when to leave well enough alone—especially this chapter, because I didn't wait for the betas. Special love to Amanda and Kris for giving this a look, too. **_

_**SM owns them, I just took them to the beach.**_

_**I hope you got a chance to read Changes in Latitude. It is a prequel to Going Under and encompasses Jasper's personal journal after Maia's death. If not, its on my profile—go check it out. We'll wait. **_

_***cue elevator music* **_

_**Done? Good—enjoy!**_

_**Playlist—**_

_**She's My Kind of Rain by Tim McGraw **_

_**Don't You Wanna Stay by Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson**_

* * *

**Chapter 20 **

**Goin' Down Slow**

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Entering the quiet apartment, Bella moved through the room to turn on a lamp, its warm glow doing little to dispel the darkness of the room. She walked into the kitchen, touching the button to turn on the light over the stove. I followed behind her, still trying to quell the raging desire our interlude in the truck had created. I wanted her, all of her, but I didn't know if I could handle the myriad emotions that came with taking the next step. Hell, look at the way I'd flipped out over her almost accident, when I'd known her less than twenty-four hours. Then it hit me. It was too late, I was already in too deep to back out now. The realization didn't bring the panic I expected, but instead a kind of peace washed over me. I decided I wasn't going to fight it anymore. Where ever things led, I'd follow.

I set the bag of food on a small breakfast bar that separated it from the rest of the room, my attention focused on the woman standing on the other side. Having come to a decision, I fought the ingrained tendency I had to obsess over it. Allowing myself to live in the moment, I pushed my fears away. Bella rested a hand on a cupboard door next to the refrigerator, then turned to face me.

"Do you want plates, or should we just eat out of the containers?"

"Doesn't matter to me either way. I know there's plastic silverware in the bag. How about we avoid creating dishes and go for the containers? Most of its finger foods anyway," I replied, already beginning to pull the Styrofoam boxes out of the bag.

"I have wine, soda, or iced tea; sorry no beer. What can I get for you?"

"Depends on the wine." I flicked open the box with 'Nachos' written on it, popping one of the seafood and cheese laden chips into my mouth.

"Its chardonnay, and don't bogart all the nachos, they happen to be my favorite."

She leaned over and snatched the box away; depositing it on the counter in front of her, before pulling two glasses out of the cabinet. Not willing to give up on the food that easily, I sidled around the breakfast bar, reaching for the box just as she bent over to grab the wine from the back of the refrigerator. Our combined motions resulted in her ass pressing against my crotch, bringing back to life the hard-on I'd barely managed to get under 's sudden return to an upright position threw us both off balance, forcing me to grab the edge of the countertop to keep from knocking both of us over. Instead, I ended up pressed flush against her back, our bodies touching from shoulder to hip. My dick twitched and I groaned, knowing there was no way in hell she didn't feel it. _Fucking great, Jas. Way to show her you're a sexual deviant that she never should've let in the front door._

"I'm sorry, I was reaching for -"

She cut my muttered apology short when she turned in my arms, her mouth seeking mine. All thoughts of food, wine, or movies vanished at the feel of her tongue swiping across my bottom lip before it slipped into my mouth. Letting go of the counter, I wrapped my arms around her, marveling at how right she felt in my arms. At my easy acquiescence, Bella became bolder, her fingers slipping under the hem of my shirt to stroke across the small of my back. Our lips danced across each other's, alternating between teasing pecks and deep languorous explorations. I lost track of how long we leaned against the counter, wrapped in each other, neither one wanting to push things further than kissing. It wasn't until our stomachs grumbled that we remembered the food that sat cooling off in the containers. Reluctantly, I lifted my mouth, then rested my forehead against hers, nudging her nose with mine.

"We should eat."

"You're right, we should."

Neither of us moved.

I watched her eyelids flutter closed, our faces so close I felt the feather touch of her lashes on my skin. Unable to help myself, I placed a kiss on each closed lid. Then, with a sigh, I stepped back, my hand sliding from her back to take hold of hers. Lifting our joined hands, I brushed my thumb across her cheek.

"C'mon, babe. Pour the wine and let's go sit and eat."

She leaned into my hand for a moment, before nodding. Turning back to the counter, she filled the glasses, while I gathered the containers and carried them into the living room. Setting them on the coffee table, I walked back to the kitchen; taking the glasses from her while she picked up a stack of napkins and the DVDs. Returning once more to the living room, I waited for Bella to set up the DVD player then come sit on the sofa. I handed her one of the glasses, toed off my shoes, and settled myself on the floor, my back resting against the sofa between her legs.

Bella clicked the remote to start the movie, then leaned over me to pluck a nacho out of the box. The cheese had melted off the edges, causing a long string to extend from the container to the chip when she pulled it away. Unable to resist, I leaned over and nipped it from her fingers, holding it between my teeth and trying not to laugh at her indignant gasp. In the blink of an eye…

_OOMPH_

Before I could push the chip the rest of the way in my mouth, Bella had shoved me over and pinned my hands down under her knees. Straddling my waist, she bent over top of me, using her teeth to pull the chip between her own lips.

"I warned you not to bogart all the nachos, didn't I?"

Bella leveraged herself up, flipping her hair out of her face to reveal a satisfied smirk dancing across her lips. The shift in her position made it easy for me to pull my hands free, immediately wrapping them around her waist and tickling her. Her thighs clenched against mine to keep from falling while she tried to wriggle out of my grasp. Her peals of laughter rang out, drowning out the movie's opening credits. Twisting my torso, I managed to roll her onto her back, pinning her underneath me.

Oh, so that's how it's gonna be, huh?" I chuckled, my hands still running across her ribs.

"Stop, Jas! Please, stop!" she cried out, her voice coming in panting gasps in between the laughter that still fell from her lips. She tried to grab my hands, but I wrenched free each time she caught them.

"Not until you say uncle."

"Never!" she yelled, pushing at my legs.

Then, bucking her hips, she pulled off some wild ass flip that had me on my back again, her hands holding my wrists. It shocked me so much, I barely registered the jolt of pain when my body hit the floor. Stunned, I stopped fighting her, instead wracking my brain to figure out what the fuck just happened.

"How the hell did you do that? I outweigh you by a good seventy pounds!"

"Yeah, well, my dad's a cop. You think he's gonna let his little girl move all the way across the country without making sure she could defend herself? Not hardly." Flopping forward, she pinned my arms to the floor on either side of my head. "Now, before I have to _really_ get physical, concede. The nachos are all mine."

I lifted my eyebrow, my look incredulous. "All yours? How is that fair?"

I planted my feet on the floor to gain purchase and buck her off of me, when she pressed her hips down more firmly to stop me. The added pressure of her ass moving against my crotch caused an immediate reaction. The way she stilled assured me she'd noticed, too. Before either of us could react, my pocket started to vibrate, followed by the chorus of _I'm Too Sexy_.

Bella slid to the floor, convulsed in laughter. "Emmett?"

"Probaby," I rolled my eyes, then sighed. "I left my phone downstairs when I took my laundry up to my room." Struggling to a sitting position, I dragged my phone out. Sure enough, Emmett's mug grinned at me from my phone display. I pressed the answer button, snapping into the phone. "Right Said Fred ? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"_Dude! Where are you? Let's go get our drink on!"_ Emmett's deep voice blared out of the phone. Apparently he'd dicked with the sound settings, too.

"Are you serious? Bro, it's," I checked the time, "after eleven. Last call is two in this town. By the time we met up it'd be damn near midnight. Besides, I'm hanging out over at Bella's. She had to work late, so were chilling out with a couple movies. Call Rosalie."

While I talked, I caught Bella pushing the button on the remote, before pulling the container of nachos off the table and settling back on the sofa. Putting my hand over the mouthpiece on my phone, I mouthed to her "No way, babe. You're sharing them." She stuck her tongue out at me, then popped a chip in her mouth, a delicious moan escaping her that caused all the blood in my body to rush south.

The incessant buzzing of Emmett's voice continued in my ear.

"…_since it's the holiday weekend and everyone is off. Whatya think, Jas?" _

"Sorry, what, I didn't catch all of that." I tried to focus my attention back to the conversation.

"_I said Rose is on tow duty tonight. I was thinking we could have a cookout on Sunday, since it's the holiday weekend." _

"Bella and I have plans for Sunday, but we could do it tomorrow evening after six or around noon time on Monday. If we wait until Monday, Ali and Edward might be back, too. We could at least call and let them know what's up."

"_Yeah, that works. I'll give them a call. You coming home tonight?"_ I could almost see his eyebrows waggling.

"Later. You'll probably be sacked out by the time I do." I answered quickly, hoping to stave off any outlandish comments that might carry through the phone and be overheard.

"_Alright, I'll give Edward a call." _

For a minute, I contemplated reminding him of the time, then figured fuck it. If he's dumb enough to call Edward, he deserved the reaming he'd be bound to get for it. I ended the call, dropping my phone on the table.

"Everything okay?" Bella had the box lying in her lap, another chip in her hand.

Settling back into my previous position, I leaned my head back against her leg to look at her. Quirking my eyebrow with a glance at her hand, I waited to answer. She smiled and angled the chip toward my mouth, allowing me to pull it from her fingers.

"Thank you." I answered around the mouthful of food, swallowing before I continued, "Everything's fine. Emmett wants to have a cookout on Sunday. Since we're going riding, I suggested Monday. He just wants an excuse to play with his grill." Sitting up, I grabbed one of the other boxes of food, opening up to loaded potato skins. "Can you make it?"

"I'm not on the schedule, so yep, not a problem. Do you want me to make anything?" She leaned over and pulled a potato skin out of the box.

We spent the next few minutes making some tentative plans for Monday while we worked through the containers of food. We took turns feeding bites to each other, Bella laughing when I refused to turn around, forcing her to feed me while I rested my head back against her leg. The sexual tension from earlier still flowed in an undercurrent in the room, but it had dialed down a notch thanks to Emmett's interruption. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hug him or smack the shit out of him. The aching muscles in my side made me think it should be the former. I certainly wasn't in top form for any type of sexual gymnastics.

When we finished off the food, Bella collected the empty containers to dump them in the trash, bringing the bottle of wine back with her. After topping off both of our glasses, she settled down on the floor next to me, resting her head in my lap. Reaching up onto the sofa, she found the remote and restarted the movie, then slid her hand under mine that rested along her hip, tangling our fingers together. I smiled down at her, watching the play of emotions on her face while she watched the action on the screen. The fingers of my other hand corded through her hair, enjoying the silky feel of her curls wrapping around each one. The floral musk I'd come to associate with her surrounded me, the scent filling my senses.

By the time the movie finished, I couldn't tell you anything about it, but I could describe Bella's face in minute detail. Her eyebrows arched over her eyes, the color slightly darker than that of her hair. The tips of her eyelashes were blonde, disguising how long they actually were. A smattering of freckles that hadn't been there the day of the Finals dotted the bridge of her nose, a result of the light sunburn she'd acquired before the storm hit. Her natural, dark rose lips were full, the bottom one a little more so than the top, with a perpetual lift at the corners. Serenity flowed from her, an inner peace I craved. Not for the first time, I wondered where she found it. It seemed like nothing ever pushed her off kilter. It made me wonder how she managed to stay so calm, so grounded all the time.

At some point, she'd drifted off, no doubt exhausted from chasing around kids all evening. I turned off the DVD player, finding a twenty-four hour music channel to replace it. Turning down the volume a bit more, I allowed the sounds of love songs from the last thirty years to lull me into a semi state of slumber. Bella had eased our twined hands down to place a kiss on the back of mine during a tender part of the movie, then held it there, wrapping my arm around her. In her sleep, she'd let go of my hand, but had snuggled back closer against me. My fingers were splayed across the warmth of her stomach, the muscles expanding and contracting with each breath she took. Unable to resist the temptation, I stroked across her skin, noting the catch in her breathing, followed by a slight shiver.

Knowing I needed to head home, but reluctant to leave, I closed my eyes, allowing myself to enjoy the restful pleasure of being in her presence. After dozing off several times, I couldn't put it off any longer. Sliding my arm under Bella's shoulder, I eased my legs out from under her and moved to a kneeling position. Then, placing my other arm under her knees, I rotated, ignoring the screaming protests of my ribs while I lifted her onto the sofa. Settling her sleeping body onto the cushions, I covered her with the throw that had been draped across the back. I sat up on the edge next to her, then reached under the table and pulled out my shoes, stifling the groan elicited by my movements. Once I had them on, I leaned over to give Bella a kiss good night. Pausing, I smoothed her hair away from her face, then brushed a light kiss over each closed eyelid before bringing my lips to rest against hers. Sleepily, she kissed me back, a soft sigh escaping when I pulled away. Her hand drifted up my side, then down my arm, coming to rest on top of my hand. Her whispered words pierced the darkness of the silent room.

"You don't have to go. Stay with me, Jas, please."

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

* * *

_**Chapter title for the Tom Waits song of the same name.**_

_**An outtake of Surfpser's first tournament is being donated to the Fandom against Juvenile Diabetes Compilation. A $5 donation to a worthy cause will net you a bunch of wonderful stories. This cause means a lot to me because a dear friend's daughter lives with the painful reality of Juvenile Diabetes. Lets make a difference in her life and that of countless others. **_

**fandomajuvdiabetes(DOT)blogspot(DOT)com/p/meet-authors(DOT)html**

_**Thank you for all the patiencw while I dealt with real life, the holidays, and trying to get my first book, Life is More Than Candy Hearts, ready. It is a compilation of short stories written with my friends Michele Richard and Lisa Bilbrey. We will be releasing it the first of February. More information will be posted to my profile, or you can find my page, Laura Braley, Author on FB. **_


	21. Chapter 21: Blue Skies

_**This chapter is dedicated to Camila, a nurse who helped care for my lovely friend Mina when she was in the hospital. Thank you so much for taking such good care of my girl. It tickled me to no end to hear you were reading our Surfsper! **_

_**I know it has been absolutely forever – I'm not going to bore you with excuses. All I can say is, going forward, I will write when I can. Two of my kids have surgeries scheduled in the next month and a half, and my graduate work for school is beastly. I'm trying, but I make no promises as to when updates will happen. **__**Snuck home in between family events so I could post this up. Hope y'all enjoy having Surfsper back. **_

_**When last we saw our couple: **_

_Knowing I needed to head home, but reluctant to leave, I closed my eyes, allowing myself to enjoy the restful pleasure of being in her presence. After dozing off several times, I couldn't put it off any longer. Sliding my arm under Bella's shoulder, I eased my legs out from under her and moved to a kneeling position. Then, placing my other arm under her knees, I rotated, ignoring the screaming protests of my ribs while I lifted her onto the sofa. Settling her sleeping body onto the cushions, I covered her with the throw that had been draped across the back. I sat up on the edge next to her, then reached under the table and pulled out my shoes, stifling the groan elicited by my movements. Once I had them on, I leaned over to give Bella a kiss good night. Pausing, I smoothed her hair away from her face, then brushed a light kiss over each closed eyelid before bringing my lips to rest against hers. Sleepily, she kissed me back, a soft sigh escaping when I pulled away. Her hand drifted up my side, then down my arm, coming to rest on top of my hand. Her whispered words pierced the darkness of the silent room._

_"You don't have to go. Stay with me, Jas, please."_

* * *

**Chapter 21**

**Blue Skies**

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

Looking down at Bella – her eyes heavy with sleep, hair tousled on the sofa pillow, the hopeful smile that teased her mouth – I struggled with the reasons why I felt I needed to leave. My body and heart screamed at me to stay, while my mind knew there was no way in hell I was ready for where that might lead.

"Bells, I don't think-," I began, only to be cut off by Bella standing in front of me.

She rested her hands on my chest, and leaned up on her toes to place a kiss on my jaw, before whispering in my ear, "I promise to leave your virtue intact, but I would like to wake up in your arms again, without both of us being cramped into a three-foot wide space." She laid her head on my shoulder, her fingers brushing through the waves of hair on my neck. "Besides, it's late, and it's Friday. The bars will be making last call soon, and the roads will be full of idiots who think they'll never be a statistic. If you stay, I don't have to worry about you making it home safely." I slid my hands up her back to her shoulders, prepared to take hold of her hands and step away, until she added, in a soft whisper, "Please."

My resolve shattered, and with a groan I ducked my head to capture her mouth with mine. I kept the kiss gentle, fighting the temptation to give in to the desire that had simmered under the surface all night long. Cradling her face with my hands, I tasted her, the wine from earlier assailing my senses when my tongue slid across hers. Bella sunk into me, her fingers trailing down my spine to the hem of my shirt. She was a siren, and I suddenly found myself powerless in her hands. Digging deep, I mustered every last bit of restraint I had to pull away.

"Fine, I'll stay – to sleep." Taking Bella's hand, I inclined my head toward the hallway. "You have to be up early for work; lead the way."

The hint of a victorious smirk played at the corners of her mouth, but she wisely didn't vocalize her thoughts. After double-checking the locks on the front door, she led me to a closed door at the far end of the hall. Only the faint glow of a cloud-shrouded moon illuminated the silent room, latticing the bed in its wavering light. Releasing my hand, she walked over to a tall chest of drawers and pulled my sweatpants out of the center drawer.

"Here. These will be more comfortable than your shorts." Bella handed them to me with a caveat, "Just remember, you told me I could keep them, so don't think you're running off with them in the morning."

Opening another drawer, she rummaged around and pulled out an oversized football jersey. She excused herself, and I took advantage of her absence to change into the sweats. I laid my clothes over a chair in the corner, then stood staring out the window in an effort to divert my attention from the bed that occupied the center of the room.

I hadn't slept in the same bed with anyone in almost three years. The instances when I'd given in to my body's demands, I'd deliberately avoided taking the fuck buddy du jour back to my hotel room. Afterwards, I'd also made a hasty retreat from wherever we ended up. The exacting schedule of the tour had made it easy to escape any type of entanglement – until Bella.

The soft sound of the door latch catching broke through my inner musings, but I still didn't move from my silent vigil at the window. Arms encircled my waist and she pressed a kiss between my shoulder blades.

"Come to bed, Jas."

Swallowing hard, I looked down at the delicate fingers folded across my stomach. Taking one hand in mine, I turned around to face her. Bella's hair tumbled about her face in a riotous mess, her skin pink from having just been washed. The football jersey she wore fell to mid-thigh, and seeing her dwarfed by it had my body tightening in response, even as a pang of jealousy pricked my heart. Whose jersey was it– an old boyfriend's? If so, had he meant so much that she'd kept the shirt even after the relationship ended? Not for the first time, I let doubt flood me, and I wondered if I was making a colossal mistake.

Bella stepped backward, not releasing my hand until we reached the foot of the bed. Then, she walked to the side of the bed, pausing to remove the necklace I'd given her. Taking the time to straighten the cording, she laid it on the nightstand next to a small stack of books and the alarm clock. Bella bent to make sure the alarm clock was set, the hem of the shirt riding up to reveal a hint of skin at the top of her thighs. I ducked my head, wanting, _needing_, to look anywhere but at the tantalizing sight. Straightening, she pulled down the covers to slide into her side of the bed. _What the fuck?_ _Her side of the bed? It's the first time you've slept with the woman, what do you mean her side? Christ! I'm in so far over my head. _My brain whirled, bombarding me with a myriad of thoughts and emotions. Unable to focus, I stared at the pillows while I fought to harness the stampeding thought in my mind. When I didn't make a move, Bella hesitated.

"Do you have a preference? I can sleep on the other side," she offered, easing herself toward the middle of the bed.

"What?" I looked up, giving myself a mental shake for being an emotional freak. "Oh, uhm, no, either is fine."

_Fucking move, you moron! _I bit the bullet and walked around to the other side. Honestly, could I be anymore fucked up? A beautiful woman, one I could easily fall in love with, invited me into her bed, and I stood around debating the merits of the idea. _Love? Where the hell did that come from? _I needed a cigarette so bad I could already taste it, but I knew if I walked outside for a smoke, I would keep going. The thought of how much that would hurt Bella ended up being the only thing that stopped me.

Pulling back the covers, I eased my way into the bed, waiting for some karmic bitch slap to occur for even daring to take another step toward letting go and moving on. When the world didn't end, I relaxed, sinking in to the pillow. I felt the bed shift when Bella moved, and I rolled on to my side to face her. In the moonlight, her eyes were luminous, the lids fighting against the lure of sleep while she cautiously rested her head against my chest. Her foot slid between my calves, tangling our legs together. Lifting my hand from where I'd clenched it at my side, I released the inadvertent fist and brushed her hair away from her face. Her lashes fluttered against her cheeks, while a contented sigh escaped her deep rose lips. I traced the line of her jaw, then slipped my fingers under her chin to tilt her face toward mine.

"Night, darlin'," I whispered before gently brushing my mouth across hers.

Bella nestled closer to me, her hand resting over my heart that beat a wild tattoo against my ribs. I laid my chin atop her head, before wrapping my arm around her waist to draw her closer. Her slow, even breaths fanned across my neck as sleep quickly overtook her, and her body relaxed even more into mine. While I couldn't deny the obvious sexual attraction I felt for her, the profound sense of rightness that filled me while holding her was inescapable. Something in me twisted, then released, and the weight that had long hung over my heart lifted. Fates and karma be damned, I'd never felt more alive than I did with Bella in my arms. I'd suffer the hounds of hell if it meant I could keep her close forever.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\xxxxxxxxxx/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

The sound of the alarm dug into my subconscious, interrupting the incredible dream I'd been enjoying – one about falling asleep with Bella in my arms. Before I could react to the intrusive noise, the blanket of warmth on my chest disappeared, the bed shifted, and with a muffled curse, the blaring beep shut off. Grateful for the respite, I tried to slip back into my dream, when the warmth returned, and soft lips pressed against my throat, bringing a sudden onslaught of awareness.

It hadn't been a dream.

My eyes flew open at the same moment I realized that, if Bella moved much closer, I'd be unable to hide exactly how much I'd relished spending the night with her. I angled my hips back, twisting my lower body to press my morning wood into the mattress, stifling a groan at the painful pressure. Bella leaned back when she heard the muffled sound, her soft eyes meeting mine.

"Mornin', Cowboy," she whispered.

Mindful of the fact that I hadn't brushed my teeth the night before, and knew my breath had to be rank, I brushed a kiss across her forehead. "Mornin', darlin'. Sleep well?"

"I did. You're a very easy bed companion. You don't hog the covers, you don't snore, and you're a constant source of warmth." Bella grinned, then nuzzled into my neck. "You're better than a teddy bear, too, because you cuddle back."

Amused at her teasing words, I feigned a growl and slid my hand to her waist. Careful to keep my erection out of bounds, I trapped her leg under my knee, then set to tickling her. Bella gasped and wiggled, trying to break free, but I used my size to my advantage, and managed to pin her shoulder under my chest.

"Jas… wait… let me go!" Her words were broken by peals of laughter that left her breathless.

"Not until you apologize," I persisted, adjusting my weight to keep her in place. "Yesterday I was pretty; today I'm a teddy bear. My ego has taken all the hits it can stand." I buried my head into her shoulder, trying to hide my smile.

"You're not really trying to pin me down are you?" She shifted her head to glare at me in mock indignation. "Didn't ending up on your ass yesterday prove I can get free if I really wanted to?"

Easing my weight off Bella's shoulder, I leaned over and kissed her. "Duly noted." Then, pulling away, I shoved her off the bed, roaring at the look of shock on her face. "Now – go get ready for work! I'll make coffee."

Bella leveraged herself to her feet, then grabbed her pillow and threw it at my head. Laughing, I caught it before it hit me, and hugged it to my chest.

"Fine," she huffed. "I want breakfast, too. There's eggs and bacon in the fridge, or pancake mix in the cupboard." Bella pulled some clothes from her dresser. "Well, come on – get moving! Shove me out of bed; I damn well better smell fresh-brewed caffeine when I step out of the shower."

Bella paused at the side of the bed and bent down, brushing her lips across mine. "Thank you," she whispered, before walking into the bathroom and pushing the door closed behind her.

By the time Bella emerged from her bedroom thirty minutes later, I'd managed to change, grab a quick smoke, rinse the layer of film off my teeth, and field a call from Emmett wanting to know where the hell I was. Ignoring his locker room humor when I mentioned I'd stayed at Bella's, I told him I'd see him at home in an hour or so. While we talked, I'd kept my hands busy cooking breakfast for Bella, allowing the conversation to distract me from the implied intimacy of the situation.

I was cooking . . . for Bella . . . after spending the night with her.

And despite my anxiety over the situation the night before, my chest didn't feel like a lead balloon had settled around my heart. I'm sure Dr. Charles would call it progress – I just considered it a fucking blessing that I never wanted to go away. As if on cue, the source of that comfort walked up behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"Mmm, it smells delicious," she hummed, giving me a squeeze before stepping around to pull a coffee cup out of the cupboard. "Looks like you found everything alright."

Bella leaned against the counter, cradling her cup in both hands, while she watched me move around her small kitchen. I slid the omelet I'd just finished onto a plate, then opened the oven to remove the other omelet and bacon I'd put in there to keep warm. Buttering the toast when it popped up, I placed it on the plates and, with a glance at the time on my phone, waved Bella toward the table. She slid into a chair, accepting the plate with a murmured "Thank you", waiting until I'd settled before she started to eat.

"So, I know where I'll be all day. Do you and Emmett have any plans?" she asked, in between bites of food she washed down with the coffee.

Grimacing, I replied, "Normally, we'd be surfing, but since Carlisle put a moratorium on it for at least another week, I don't know." I shook my head. "I'm not going down to the strip, though. It'll be a zoo with all the tourists getting in their last big hurrah for the summer." Tearing my toast in two, I took a bite while I thought. "I'll probably just do some reading for school; maybe hang out on our beach."

I chuckled, "Of course, knowing Emmett, he has some elaborate plan I know nothing about. We do need to do some grocery shopping, I guess, too. Emmett said he talked to Edward and we're having that cookout on Monday." Suddenly nervous, I hesitated. "You're going to come, right? Emmett's new friend will be there." What I left unsaid, but clearly implied, was that everyone would be coupled off.

"Of course I'll be there."

Bella's tone assured me there was nowhere else she'd rather be, washing away the cloying anxiety that had crept up on me. Smiling in relief, I offered to drive her to work again.

"Are you sure? Then you're going to have to drive back in beach traffic to pick me up this evening, too."

I answered on impulse, not stopping to weigh my words first. "Well, maybe you could stay at the beach house tonight, and we can head out earlier to the stables tomorrow."


End file.
